Back from the island. Dumped my brother in a very posh hostel... I can't believe his luck! How did I get stuck with spooky old Eton Hall and he gets the bourgeois life of an ACS boarding school!

Meeting up with Odac was unbelievable. 18 out of 20... that was a 90% attendance! And a 100% guy attendance - I have to give it to you guys! And it was actually fun and we didn't get sian too soon... definitely worth coming all the way down to Singapore for. Some things really haven't changed. But some things have... little things... you guys probably wouldn't even notice.

And now it's back to planning this 21st birthday of mine. I still can't even think of anything I'd want to put on my wish list. The things I want can't even be bought... and you can't help me... really...

I'm back from the island down south.
Trying to force feed myself reality.
Getting a grip on why falling off the edge is all too easy.
Ironically.

You hate it here and you want to run away... run back to London and leave problems behind where they look smaller because the distance makes everything simple.

And then again you don't. You want to say the things that were unsaid and tie up the loose ends of the sides that have frayed, before it unravels and nothing is left.

And maybe you never want to go back there again. Because it was too painful walking alone past all those places we used to haunt together. Because it hurts to be neglected and treated like the most unimportant speck of dust in this world.

I'm counting the days till I can runaway from this. I don't care that I'm making my life in London a make believe cotton candy world. I don't care that I'm putting on masks again. I don't want to care... because if I've cared too much about you.

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus

Editorial Page, New York Sun, 1897


We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:


I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O'Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus?Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!


From The People's Almanac, pp. 1358-9.


A very blessed Christmas to all... and keep the peace of the Christ child in your hearts.

And way up in the sky the North Star is shining... over the lowly manger where a babe is to be born... a mighty saviour in the form of an innocent Christ child. And man will live forever more, because of Christmas Day.

Christmas eve is always magical. As we light the candles and sprinkle them with lavender oil, and my sister sings 'Jolly Old St. Nicholas' out of tune (she's been singing it out of tune for the last 13 years... and she turns 14 next year), and we wait for mum's relatives to arrive and I wonder if they'll notice that I've had a haircut (no one ever does) and we've placed the last of the wrapped presents under the Christmas tree (as usual we've forgotten to put name tags, so we're going to have to play guessing games later) and the Johor Laksa is bubbling in the kitchen (no, no stuffed turkey... we celebrate Christmas the Malaysian way...) and mum still hasn't unveiled what other culinary treats she has prepared, and we've taken out the Christmas cutlery and table mats and napkins (made shiny only once a year) and Dad is blasting Christmas carols for the entire neighbourhood to hear (not that I've ever heard the neighbours complain be it Christmas carols or 'the Eagles on Tour') and everything is just Christmassy.

Just Christmassy!

Merry Christmas Eve!

What's the fun in being home?

1. Being able to eat REAL food!
2. Being pampered to the max by parents
3. Being able to shop in RINGGIT
4. Being able to pick up with friends right where we left off... right down to Ravi and Pal incessantly bullying me and calling me kinky. (I am NOT kinky pinky!!!)
5. Being able to sleep in my own room and not having to make my bed or pick up my own stuff (so sue me, I'm a spoilt brat!)
6. Being away from Amar's amarity
7. Being able to wear pink and not have Lionel say "Ewwww! PINK!"
8. Being away from Soha's "Wanna fight is it?"
9. Being able to talk to people in 'real time'
10. Being nearer to Singapore.

What's not fun about being home?
I actually miss London and all of you there!

Yin Tse has suggested that I put up a wish list for my birthday. How thoughtful!!! Guess no one really wanted to donate to the "Help Charlotte Buy Textbooks" fund. No one takes too kindly to my putting up a list of textbooks, huh? The last time I put up a wish list (which was a long list of stationary), I got everything I wanted. AND it was cheap. AND everyone was happy. Give me a few days. I'll come back with a list after Christmas... after I see what Christmas presents I'm getting...

After 13 hours on the plane with Fong May, Wai Kee and Adrian Mak (walking up and down the plane looking out for cute guys, and just standing around Adrian Mak's seat chatting, and sleeping for 7 hours straight, and staying awake for apple crumble only to find its pathetically nothing like Linstead's apple crumble!)

I'm home.
I can taste it.
I can feel it.
I can smell it.
But the reality of it hasn't really hit me yet. It's like walking in a dream world. Everything's so familiar yet so strange.

It's the little things. Like the Christmas cards not being written this year, because that's normally my duty.

But I'm home. The weather isn't as warm as I thought it'd be. The food is still fantastic. The friends are still here. Even Greg sounds closer on the phone. Have I not made it clear enough? I'm HOME!!!

A cab is arriving to take Fong May and me to the airport in another 2 and a half hours.

I bumped into Ollie as I entered halls after my very last assessment for this term (nay! This YEAR!).
"Are you going home, Ollie?"
"Yeah man! Just gonna catch the bus home"
"Oh! That's lovely... I've got a 13 hours flight ahead of me"
"Where are you going? Halfway around the world and back?!!"
"No... just back to Malaysia"

When a term comes to an end suddenly everything seems so significant. As we sat down for dinner last night and realised it was going to be the last dinner of the year together. As we walked to Odeon to watch Return of the King - last movie of the year. As we sat in Amar's room until 3am, talking and drinking champagne, campari, gin... not wanting to leave because we won't get to do this again until next year.

Next year... it seems like a couple of months... not just 3 weeks away before I arrive back in cold, freezing London on my 21st birthday. And I will miss all of you, surprisingly! Ruby, Cheryl, Trinh, Kristina, Soha, Lionel, Amar, Lu, Yi Shan, Fong May, Alex, Val, Ee Wen, Choon Sern, B Landers... people that have been keeping me alive for the past 11 weeks!

This is one of those rare times I've entered the EE computing labs this term. Usually I just sit in my room, programming in my pyjamas when I should be here. But I just cannot use the computers here. For one thing the British keyboards really annoy me! They've got their keys in all the wrong places. The " is where the @ should be. The £ replaces the #. And I've even spotted € next to the 4.

I'm completely skiving classes today. And doing it rather stupidly too. I thought I ponned digital electronics this morning, but when I turned up for ARM architecture I found no ARM architecture but instead the digital tutorial I had intended to pon! My day is going all topsy turvy. I'm only half packed and trying to find more things to stuff in my suitcase. Ruba has asked me to stop playing Christmas carols if I'm going to play Silent Night in 3 different pop versions (BackStreet Boys, N Sync and Jewel). It's not my fault if Silent Night happens to be the most sung Christmas carol by bubblegummy popsters. And just to prove that I didn't just have bubblegummy carols, I played some City on a Hill carols for Ruba... but she wasn't listening.

Going back now to finish reading up on high pass filters before the screening of Return of The King tonight. *crosses fingers* Please give more screen time to Legolas!!! Please, please!!!

Yesterday I opened my purse hoping to find 20 pounds in it. Wishful thinking! I swear I had a damn lot of coins recently but they all seem to have melted away. I should have stopped complaining about how heavy they were. Maybe that's why they decided to elope with my pound notes and leave me.

So I proceeded to the NatWest ATM outside South Kent station to withdraw another 20 pounds. There are no ATMs in the brightly lit South Kent station (or else I haven't found it yet) but there is an ATM in the most shady and dimly lit corner of the NatWest South Kent branch where a homeless person sits begging for a few coppers or dimes. Maybe a pound if she's lucky. I'm don't think I agree with the concept of begging at ATMs. Firstly I don't agree with the concept of begging when you are obviously able bodied enough to move yourself in front of an ATM in the evening and out of the way in the morning and secondly, the general public who need to access an ATM machine obviously have no money with them... and when they've withdrawn some cash it's usually in denominations of tens, twenties and fifties and not pennies and dimes and so they won't have any loose change.

And who's fault really is it when it comes to the homeless? The homeless themselves and their own ineptness to secure a proper job, stop looking out from the bottom of a bottle and gain a decent residence? Or the Blair government for not fulfilling their promises (hah! Labour party, they call themselves).

In other news, Saddam has been captured. Read the talkingcock version of his capture, especially if you speak Hokkien. Lionel thinks he looks like a jewish rabbi with that beard. He should have worn a skull cap to avoid being noticed.

In other other news, I met Teresa, Arief and Zeus last night for dinner in Chinatown. We spent an obscene 47 pounds at Royal Dragon (2 damn pounds for rice... per person!!!!) but if it was money spent on a happy, chatty gathering of Odacians, senior and junior, then it was money well spent. Teresa asked Zeus and Arief why they didn't bring their other halves... to which they replied, "Well we thought we wanted this to be a proper ODAC thing only". And it was nice to have a proper ODAC thing... we even did 'ODAC jiak' before digging into our extravagent meal. In between catching up and gossiping we planned for future ODAC gatherings during Chinese New Year and to visit each other's residences, (with their other halves as Teresa insists that they are all part of the ODAC family now) and talked hopefully about more Odacians joining us in the UK next year. It's always great being with Odacians, you always feel at home.

Did I tell everyone the good news? My brother did not get into NS. I am now waiting to find out if he got the ASEAN scholarship. I know he really wants to get it. He's always been a good boy... chasing after my footsteps... always trying to outrun me. I hope he gets into RJ. He'd be a perfect Rafflesian if I ever saw one... although I do have my doubts about his AC poser tendencies. Or maybe he's only poser-ish around his big sister who's not so big anymore standing next to him. In fact, am approximately half a head shorter already. My little sister is swiftly catching up and I'd be the family midget soon if it wasn't for mum.

Must stop vague rambling now. Things to get done:
1. Write lab log book
2. Ask Rich to help with binary files (wtf are they?)
3. Figure out where I have saved the armulator on my laptop
4. Go to M&S to buy cookies and presents
5. Pack bags
6. Board plane
7. Go home

La obsesión rosado is signing out. (courtesy of Spanish crash course by Lionel the night before his Spanish exam. Refuse to speak to anyone sitting for a language exam the next day anymore. Tired of having to use online translators just to have a normal conversation)

5 Christmas Cards and counting...

It's such a warm fuzzy feeling to receive a Christmas Card... reminds you that you are loved or at least thought of! B-Landing Linsteadians have been decorating their doors with Christmas Cards. It's the cheapest Christmas decorations we can find. And its so lovely to read them because sometimes you can't believe the sender actually wrote them!
Take Farhad's for an example:
"Always keep that smile on your face because that smile on your face is the light in the window that tells people that you are at home"
9 times out of 10, Farhad is usually muttering something obscene or horny.
But I suppose the spirit of Christmas touches everybody... even foul mouthed bastards like Farhad.

Said the night wind to the little lamb
Do you see what I see?
Way up in the sky little lamb
Do you see what I see?
A star, a star
Dancing in the night
With a tail as big as a kite
With a tail as big as a kite...

Frosty winds are starting to blow, and soon we'll have snow (if we're really unlucky). All the shops are dressed up in gold and glitter and santa clauses and elves and gilded christmas trees and fairy lights... and the Christ child is forgotten. Last weekend my aunt and uncle drove me down to Croydon in the evening, down to the English suburbs... and in these usually quiet towns (well, anything is quiet compared to South Kensington where no one ever sleeps) we gaped at the immensely tacky and showy displays that the residents had put up. Santa Claus was climbing several windows. Rudolph was running across several roofs. Bright, shining, snowmen stood alone in the cold with big fake plastic smiles. Where one house had a grand display, his neighbour had a brighter and grander one! And my aunty said, "Where's the significance of Christ's birth in all this?". And then we passed a little church which had nothing but a simple lighted sillhouette of the nativity scene. The first sign of the true spirit of Christmas. Do you hear what I hear?

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear?
Ringing through the sky, shepherd boy
Do you hear what I hear?
A song, a song
High above the trees
With a voice as big as the sea
With a voice as big as the sea

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king
Do you know what I know?
In your palace warm, mighty king
Do you know what I know?
A child, a child
Shivers in the cold
Let us bring him silver and gold
Let us bring him silver and gold

Said the kind to the people everywhere
Listen to what I say
Pray for peace, people everywhere
Listen to what I say
The Child, the Child
Sleeping in the night
He will bring us goodness and light
He will bring us goodness and light

I was surfing around online and discovered: my swatch bludablu skin costs 140 sing dollars!!!!!!!!
I don't think I'm that worthy... and now I'm feeling rather painful about the curry I sploshed on the strap while cooking just now (amazing assam prawns, thanks to Chef Charlotte! magnifique!)

Here's how decadent my life has become.

Yesterday - Mahjong till 3am
This morning - Basketball
After lunch - Snooker
After dinner - Bridge

All the typical ODAC past times in one day. Ohhhh... I really miss ODAC now!

Strange things happen around Imperial College Halls when you stay up playing mahjong till 3 in the morning -

This morning I was
a) incessantly annoyed by some Taiwanese girl playing the same Mozart Sonata phrase over and over and over and over and over... (I have no personal vendetta against the Taiwanese... I WILL however bear a grudge should you decide to torment me by repeatedly playing Mozart... very badly!)
b)presented the opportunity to watch a real quad run (i.e. some idiot who has lost at table football running around the quad stark naked). It was rather disturbing that Alex was rather engrossed in watching the nudie guy instead of his mahjong tiles.
c)watching the strangest of hall residents walk in at various late hours of the night. The least expected ones (i.e. the guardians of the study table and keepers of the sacred notes) kept on walking in even later...
d)entertained by Jaq whacking Amar's ass at fencing again.

******

My parents have vehemantly insisted that they should celebrate the 21st birthday of their first born. When I was just a wee lass I looked forward to my 21st birthday with some kind of debutante gala in mind. Presently I can't give a damn. I just want a gathering with my friends as has become some sort of Amanian tradition. It was surprising to hear Choo lamenting when I initially thought of scrapping it for my 21st. However let me quietly turn 21 next year without the pomp and grandeur, please? Why do I get the feeling my mum will get her way like she always has for the last 20 years?

******

If there are several things I would like to see in my Christmas stocking this year it would be
1. Les Miserables Piano Score
2. A hat like Eponine's which I really need now that my ears are almost frostbitten
3. Nothing in PINK!!!

*yawn*

stayed up playing mahjong until almost 2 in the morning (with a mahjong glossary kindly provided by lionel! i have now expanded my chinese character reading ability)... decadent decadent life... i'm doing every single thing i used to disapprove of! realise that mahjong has a direct effect on your chinese-ness (which i clearly lack without you having to tell me). you find yourself conversing in broken fragments of dusty, rusty mandarin. you actually recognise some hokkien phrases that your aunties used to yell out during weekly mahjong sessions. you reminisce about chinese traditions and past new years. and i have to giggle as the ang mohs look on with uncomprehension written on their faces... they're probably thinking of "Joy Luck Club" when they say "I know this game! I've got to learn it" but they never can learn it... there's too much essence of chinois in it.

new photos have been uploaded. time to drag this carcass to the shower. meeting ruby's mum for lunch. dim sum is never better when someone else is treating you to it. especially in this land where you are deprived of good, wholesome, (expensive), chinese food.

I really hope pretending to be happy isn't a mental disease... or what Jason used to refer to as living in De Nile.

I've been leading a rather hedonistic life since the end of Christmas tests. A stack of unread notes is piling on my table. Bright red neon lights flash in my head randomly with the words "ORAL LAB PRESENTATION!!!" or "PROGRAMMING TEST ON TUESDAY" or "DRIVING TEST ON MONDAY, DAMMIT!". But it's easy to become blind to it... life in University halls churns out the best of people doesn't it?

Linsteadians just returned from the Christmas boat cruise about 2 hours ago, experienced a fire alarm an hour ago, and now I still have that feeling as if I'm bobbing up and down like a little dinghy on a windy day. It is fun to play dress up once in awhile, to stare dissapointedly at the finger food we paid 10 pounds for, to dance crazily in 3 inch heels and a tight dress, to play bridge while the rest of the boat is partying... just like back in the ODAC 'construction' days, to be freezing to death out on the deck and admire the view of London from the Thames (which was marred by the presence of Killian and Luke mooning the pier!), to try walking back from South Kent station in almost blistered feet and then raid Amar's chocolate stash in his room.

Tis a crazy life I'm living and I'm loving every moment of it. I just wish you were part of it too...

When you're sitting and grinning to yourself and thinking "It's over! It's bloody over!" at 3 am in the morning... it starts to feel slightly unnerving.

Maskerade has just ended a spectacular 4 day run that saw immovable walls, Granny Weatherwax tumbling over the black boxes in the dark, unsynchronised squeaks by the death of rats, falling bats, flowers and an innoucuous teddy bear and our best show stopper - the fire alarm that went off in the middle of the smoke scene with the techies yelling "Too much smoke! Stop spraying the f**king smoke!" and eventually evacuating everyone from the building. All cast members unanimously agree that the fire alarm night will go down in drama soc history as the best delivery ever!

Maskerade's success however has absolutely no connection to why I'm still awake and chirpy at 3am. Maybe it was the ridiculous girl on girl table football match (where the ball careened ever so gently across the table), maybe it was the crazy fencing match where we once again watched Amar getting his ass whacked by Jaq (that's Jaqueline, mind you!) or maybe it was the silly sing-song sessions where we watched Alex regress towards his childhood years and discovered his preoccupation with "Polly put the kettle on".

We're all MAD I tell you, MAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAD.....

*ahem*

Scenes from the opening night of Maskerade (from p.o.v. of a chorus girl):

Act 1 Scene 1
No one is in the changing room except for the chorus girls and the show is to start in 50 minutes. No one is in costume. Everyone else is in the bar downstairs. The chorus girls start fighting for mirror space. No one knows where all the pads for applying foundation has gone. It's probably with the guys. Elizabeth works on Agnes' fat pack. Someone comments that one of Agnes' boobs is bigger than the other... spare socks anybody? Fix Agnes' chest... and it's on to her hips... spare t-shirts? Techies come around with mikes and stuff, looking important and start yelling "5 minutes to curtains rising". Cast looks at each other and asks, "Is that really 5 minutes, or techy 5 minutes?" because we all know that with techy minutes you have to multiply that by 3... techy rule of 3...




Act 1 Scene 2
"So how many people are we expecting tonight, Martin?"
"Oh we've got about 20 reserved tickets..."
"Only 20? Ok... that's not too bad"
... one scene later...
"Wtf! There's a damn crowd out there!!!"



Act 1 Scene 3
"Someone's laughing really loudly out there and very high pitched..."
"But that's good isn't it?"
"... but she's laughing even when there are no jokes in the script!"

Act 1 Scene 4
And Tom has died for the... er... 3rd or 4th time now?




Act 2 Scene 1
Everyone's back down in the bar. Some one from the stage management crew comes down to usher us back up and threaten us to get back into costume. Makeup is starting to run though... can't look like a chorus girl who hasn't slept in 3 days, can I?




Act 2 Scene 2
Which scene is it? Where are we now? This is a big mess! Thank goodness the audience can't see what chaos it is back stage.



Act 2 Scene 3
"Oh my gosh! I know I'm going to laugh... this is too funny, I'm supposed to look shocked and scared but this scene is just way too hilarious!!!"
"Then just pinch yourself really hard!"



Grand Finale
"Curtain call? What now? Does the audience know it's over?"
"Do we bow again?"
"Well they're still clapping"
"Ok... they're still clapping but I'm getting tired"
"Lets just leave?"
"Yup come on... leave the audience to it end the show..."



For more photos click here! (Why do I even encourage you?)

Whheeeeeeee!!!!

Christmas Tests are over!!! And I won't be getting a big fat zero for it! In fact I think today's test went better than any test I have ever taken in RJ! It does make my very bruised self confidence (caused by 2 years spent in 'the PRC class') feel much much better.

And what makes me so relieved that this test actually went ok is the fact that yesterday I was at dress rehearsals from 5pm till midnight because the IC drama soc doesn't give a damn that you have a test at 9am the next morning... the show must go on!!! But that is University life as my tutor emphasised... you could have a deadline the next morning and still be out partying till 3 in the morning, hungover till 4am and start working on it at 5am.

I go for rehearsals at 5pm, come back at midnight. Finish dinner at 1am. Look gloomily at my math notes which have not been touched in several weeks. Decide to wake up at 6am and read through them. Never wake up at all. Wake up at quarter to 8, realise I only have 45 minutes to get changed and eat breakfast AND look at my math notes. Never finish looking through maths notes. Take a brisk walk to the exam hall... figure I'd do the math questions last since I definitely studied more circuits, digital and comp. architecture than math. Do as much as I can for the previous 3. Realise I have plenty of time to float like a dead fish through the math paper. Finish math in 15 minutes!! This is outrageous! It only goes to prove that the papers you don't study for are always the easiest! Whilst the papers you've spent a week cracking your head over might as well be your death sentence!! Murphy's Law was invented solely for University students!!

The What Are You Doing Now Quiz
---------------------------------

Questions:
1. What are you doing now?
Eating my lunch of instant chicken and mushroom pasta, studying Computer Architecture and ponteng-ing Software Engineering Lecture. Cheryl's friend John says that instant pasta is advance student cooking.... but anything is advanced student cooking compared to Cheryl's ham and butter sandwiches.

2. How are you feeling now?
Flu-ey. Great big vacuum in my head is sucking out everything I've been trying to put in which includes multiple load registers, memory organisation, sequential devices and my 9 lines for the Maskerade play.

3. What's on your mind right now?
Multiple load registers, memory organisation, sequential devices and my 9 lines for the Maskerade play.

4. Are you hungry?
Can you be hungry while eating lunch? Because I was definitely hungry before. And I won't be full until I finish this entire bowl of pasta... but what's in between?

5. Where are you right now?
Room B12, otherwise known as the sleeping and eating quarters of Charlotte who never answers her phone.

6. Anyone around you right now?
*shiver* I hope not... because there shouldn't be. Kristina is currently attending lectures *snigger*

7. Who are you thinking of right now?
No one in particular. You see, I regularly put alarm reminders into my phone to remind me to actually "THINK!" once in awhile

8. Last tv show you watched?
Scrubs Season 2 episode 8 (I'm so sad I actually remember which episodes I've watched and what songs were played in them... Season1Episode4 - Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah (Rufus Wainwright version) is still my favourite!)

9. Last meal you had?
Now that I've eaten the last bits of my pasta I can confidently say: Chicken and Mushroom Pasta!!!

10. Ok. Admit it, what were you doing before you where bored enough to do this quiz?
Eating my Chicken and Mushroom Pasta. Before that? Cooking my Chicken and Mushroom Pasta. Before that? Wondering if I should eat Chicken and Mushroom Pasta packet 1, which I had to as the other choice was...erm, Chicken and Mushroom Pasta packet 2.

11. What are you doing tomorrow?
Opening my Christmas Present!!! (Code names disillusional EEE students give Christmas tests... sigh). Performing Maskerade for a real and critical audience for the first time.

12. What were you doing yesterday?
Ponteng-ing classes, mucking about while Dr. Cozens again got confused on a phasor question but this time corrected himself before we could correct him (damn! such a spoilsport!), advertising Maskerade with the hideous Maskerade T-Shirt I bought for 6 pounds and which is now the butt of many jokes, mugging or trying to mug, conked myself out with some paracetamol lem-sip to cure my cough. I don't think the effects have worn out yet...

13. How much money do you have in your wallet?
I'm not telling you!! You might rob me of my 18 pounds!!!

14. Last song you heard?
Something Beautiful - Jars of Clay... I'm listening to my Religious playlist in the hopes of redemption...

15. Where did you hear the song from?
I didn't hear it from anywhere. I only wanted to borrow a few CDs from Lionel but he ended up shoving approximately 15 CDs into my hands, which included this song.

16. What are you wearing right now? How do you look?
Jeans and white zipped jumper. How do I look? With my eyes I assume...

17. What are you doing one week from now?
Next tuesday? Attending lectures to make my conscience feel better about skipping so many this week

18. Are you feeling happy?
It's not easy to feel happy with a cold blocking out half your senses.

19. Are you feeling warm/cold right now?
Warm! I'm a happy bunny! I'm full of pasta!

20. If walks in right now and sees you, what would he/she do?
Probably look right through me. Since when has anyone cute ever paid attention to me? Only curly haired... nevermind...

je ne veux pas vous détester. qui fait ceci si difficile? vous ou me? je vous tiens mais vous êtes si lointain. la conversation à vous n'aidez pas. vous vous déplacez plus et plus loin. et la tristesse dans votre voix, il n'a jamais utilisé pour être comme ceci. qu'est-il arrivé aux conversations merveilleuses que nous avons utilisé pour avoir? L'une qui a fait me tomber amoureux de vous. j'ai besoin d'entendre votre voix encore, la façon qu'il a utilisée être. je viens d'a besoin de vous.

sorry. don't bother translating that. i'm annoying myself with my limited french vocabulary...

Monday lessons are so lovely. They are all so ponteng-able. I never go in for computer lab sessions... not when I can program in my room in my pyjamas. I hardly attend Software Engineering lectures, unless I've had a bad weekend and need a few good laughs from Dr. Pitts (come to think of it, I should attend at least one of his lectures before the term ends... I'll never get a lecturer this good again! I so want to be in his research team in the 3rd year. It's only so coincidental that it's what I've always wanted to major in - Intelligent and Interactive Systems!!!). And then I stroll into the EE building at 2pm and greet my classmates who will cock one eyebrow and say "So, Charlotte... didn't think it was worth your time to attend classes this morning, eh?" and then proceed to talk throughout circuits tutorial while Dr. Cozens confuses himself over an analysis question on the blackboard until we decide to tell him (5 minutes before the end of the period) "Sir, I think you've added the resistors in parallel instead of in series... *again*". And finally sit through an hour of Dr. Cheung's digital electronics and grin triumphantly at the end of it if I've managed to stay awake for more than half an hour... or else get poked endlessly by some annoying classmate each time my eyes start to close and my head starts to hang off the edge of my neck. Oh yes, I do believe I love Mondays.

I'm obsessive compulsive... why am I not surprised? But it's better than being histrionic, isn't it xiaokai? *grin*

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizotypal |||||||||||| 50% Antisocial |||||||||||| 46% Borderline |||| 14% Histrionic |||||||||||||| 58% Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 58% Avoidant |||||||||||||| 58% Dependent |||||||||||| 50% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||||| 78%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

Hallelujah
Artist: John Cale
Rufus Wainwright Lyrics
Copyright © 1985 Leonard Cohen and Sony/ATV Music Publishing Canada Company.


I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty
in the moonlight
overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne,
she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me do you?
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Time expands and contracts... depending on which side of the looking glass you are. 3 weeks to the end of term, that's a long time before I can go home, yet there aren't enough hours in a day to get rid of these assessments and tests. 3 weeks spent back home for Christmas doesn't seem long enough to do everything I want to do... twice! or thrice! But it seems a long time to be away from London and my hall friends whom I actually think I might miss. 6 weeks till I turn 21. Have I been 20 for that long already? I haven't even gotten over being a teen!

Time... thou art a sly one...

Idly blogging an idle blog...

Love my current playlist... wanna listen?

Delta Goodrem - Born to Try ::good sweet vocals::
Adam Sandler - I Wanna Grow Old With You ::awwwwww::
Alessandro Safina, Ewan Mcgregor - Your Song ::how can you not lurve Ewan Mcgregor when he sings?::
Bachelor Girl - Buses and Trains
Bon Jovi - Thank You for Loving Me ::heart warming::
Bread - If
Bryan Adams - When You Really Love A Woman ::all guys should adopt this as their creed::
The Calling - Could It Be Any Harder
The Calling - Adrienne ::lost me voice singing this::
Chantal Kreviazuk - Leaving on a Jet Plane
Coco Lee - Before I Fall In Love
Collin Raye - Love, Me ::charme! look! your favourite!::
The Corrs - At Your Side
Counting Crows feat Vanessa Carlton - Big Yellow Taxi ::ooooooo bap bap bap::
Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers - We've got Tonight ::who needs tomorrow?::
Elvis Costello - She
Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight
Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman - Elephant Love Medley, Come What May
Gordon Lightfoot - If You Could Read My Mind
Indecent Obsession - Fixing A Broken Heart
Jars Of Clay - Love Song For a Saviour
Jewel - Hands ::Can you believe it? I don't have You Were Meant For Me!!::
Kris Dayanti - Menghitung Hari ::The best thing to come out of Indonesia::
LeAnn Rimes - The Right Kind of Wrong, Can't Fight The Moonlight
Les Miserables - On My Own, A Little Fall Of Rain
Mandy Moore - I Wanna Be With You
Martina McBride - I Love You
Lene Marlin - Sitting Down Here
Robbie Williams - She's The One
Savage Garden - Crash And Burn, Santa Monica
Tori Amos - Crucify, Silent All These Years, Winter, Mother, Pretty Good Year, Bells For Her, Baker Baker, Icicle
Robert Downey Jr & Vonda Shepard - Chances Are ::squeal Charme, squeal!!!::

That can keep a girl pretty happy while studying digital electronics

Note to self:

Stop doing stupid things! Like leaving the windows wide open before going to sleep. Like singing ala LeAnn Rimes when you've got a sore throat. Like wasting time watching table football when you could be analysing circuits. Like talking to yourself although you really need a good talking to! Like living disillusionally.

Its such a painful irony everytime I have to stop myself and say, "no, he's my bestfriend" and then feel the tear rip further, feel the dagger slicing deeper and deeper. It hurts to see them raise their eyebrows as if I'm not telling the truth. I wish I wasn't... the truth has never been more painful. I wish there was a term for more than bestfriend but not boyfriend... but there isn't... I can't even say ex... because there's a finality and negativity to it which I can't bear to label you. I want to put the pieces away, hide the photos, the ring, the little things but its not easy... the watch you gave me, the keychain we exchanged, the profile on my handphone, the earrings I wear, the stuff toys on my bed... it'd take months to wipe it away... but I don't want to. I don't want to forget...

After an incredible Raya feast yesterday and walking in the rain in my thin baju kebaya I am now suffering from an assortment of illnesses that I can't seem to specifically identify. I went to bed with a splitting headache, occasionally waking up because I was shivering... and only at 4am did I realise I was sleeping with the windows wide open and the heater off! So fine, I turned the heater on and shut the windows but by then I was starting to feel dizzy and aching all over. By 6am I began to suffer from Whiner's syndrome... but who in this hall was going to be sympathetic towards me at 6am in the morning??? So I called Greg to whine as best as I could, quite an effort as my throat had now decided to turn sore and very painful. After half an hour of consolation and "you should drink more water" and "you should get more sleep" (wait a minute! Those are MY lines!!!) I went back to sleep feeling a little better but woke up sweating buckets. Went to lectures shivering all the way... head felt too heavy and achy to pay attention to differential equations or phasors. And now all I want to do is crawl into bed, but Menaka is waiting for me in the Elec. Labs to experiment with idiotic diodes!

ooooohhh.... so sicky wicky...

---------- GENERAL INFO ------------
Time starting: 1:30am
Name on Birth Certificate: Charlotte Yeow Shu Chen
E-mail: fallenunderscoreangel95athotmaildotcom
Hair Color: ebony
Height: 164cm (without my shoes on and I'm still taller than some ngai people...)
Shoe Size: about the same size as my foot
Lives with you: My roomie, Kristina... who's getting freaked out by my 3am study hours
When is your bedtime?: well, sometimes I sleep at 11pm, then wake up at 3am, then go back to sleep at 5am, then wake up at 9am, then go back to sleep at 11am, then wake up at 1pm, then go back to sleep at 5pm... YOU tell me!

------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------

Ever been so drunk you blacked out?: I haven't even been drunk yet

Been hurt emotionally?: Not sure... there's this iron wall around me...

Keep any secrets from anyone?: Not unless I haven't told them yet

Had an imaginary friend: Sometimes I think all my friends have been imaginary

Had a crush on a teacher: My teachers have been mostly of the female breed

Ever thought an animated character was hot?: I don't even think Justin Timberlake is hot, what makes you think I'd think anything less alive than JT is hot?

Cut your own hair: Once... and never again

------------------FAVORITES------------------

*Shampoo: VO5... why? Because I obediently use what my mother tells me to. Then when my hair falls out I can say, "It wasn't ME who bought the bloody Shampoo!"

*Color: It's currently a violent fight between fuschia and purple!

*Game: "What's the latest time I can arrive at lectures without having the whole lecture hall stare at me?"

*Lace or satin: What about silk? No one ever asks about silk!

*Fav cartoon charactor: Lionel... he DOES look like a cartoon as Soha pointed out

*Fave food: Sushi... at Sushi Tei... when Greg is paying...

*Fave Movie: The Sound of Music

*Fave Ice Cream: English Toffee

*Fave Subject: Mathematical Programming Literature

*Fave Person to talk to: Greg

---------- RIGHT NOW ------------------

*Wearing: Asean 2001 T-shirt and slacks

*Hair: disciplined after alot of combing and under the strong hold of a thick head band

*I'm Feeling: a distinct caffeine buzz somewhere in the nether regions of my brain

*Eating: honey. Seriously!

*Thinking about: tomorrow's breakfast

*Listening to: If by Bread (guys, here's a tip... master this song on the guitar and you can sweep any girl off her feet!)

*Talking To: Amar, who was pretending to be me on msn an hour ago and even managed to get yi shan to be me as well... why do I bother? Must be the caffeine! Stop stealing my msn nick will you? Be original, get your own!

*Watching: blinking spots in front of my eyes... danged caffeine!

----------IN THE LAST 24 HOURS-----------

*Cried: Felt like it but didn't... I'm getting stronger, yes I am.

*Worn a Skirt: No. I'll wear one tomorrow to make up for it!

*Cleaned Your Room: EVERY freaking day! Its kind of therapeutic to shift my things around a little every morning

*Done Laundry: Heck, I just folded the 3rd batch!

----------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------

*Yourself: After reading up on existentialism and its arguments... I am still not sure

*Your friends: occasionally, if they bribe me once in a while

*Santa Claus: Yes... as long as the spirit of giving is still there, yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

*Tooth Fairy: No. Because the crummy mite never gave me a single cent!

*Destiny/Fate: Yes... but it's believing that you've made the right choice with the opportunities Fate has presented you that is harder

*God: Yes

*Karma: refer to Fate

*Angels: Yes, I think you're one just for being there

*Ghosts: I believe in a supernatural realm, yes.

*UFO's: Did I ever mention the many years of my life spent as an X-file fanatic?

-------------- FRIENDS AND LIFE ----------------

*Like Anyone?: I occasionally jot down a reminder in my diary to "try and like someone today"

*Who have you known the longest of your friends: Michelle... it's infamous! We should just tattoo it on our foreheads instead of bringing it up at every gathering

*Who's the Loudest: Everyone in Linstead Hall is exceptionally LOUD! especially when I'm trying to study!

*Who's the Weirdest: Amar. He's also the craziest, loudest, horniest, crudest, etc. etc.

*Who Do You Cry To?: Greg or my pillow

*What's the Best Feeling in the World?: Being able to love unconditionally (probably equivalent to reaching a state of Nirvana)

*Worst Feeling: Losing half of yourself... like a phantom limb, you forget it's not there anymore

*What Time Did You Finish?: 2 am

Comments: Cafe Lattes are potent. Even ones that have more latte than cafe!

What happens when Mum Finds Out About Your Blog?

I really wouldn't want my own mother reading what I have to say. Because it'll be a repetition of what I tell her, regardless of the fact that I usually talk to her in our own 'mother-daughter' language which means I tell her about my day and then she comments and I say "yes, Mum" and then she says she would have done exactly as I did when she was my age and I say "yes, Mum" and then she nags and I say "Yes, Mum".

My mum is an amazing person. Most people who've met her would agree. And I doubt she would be very shocked at the things I write in my blog. I tell my mother things like "I want to be the Minister of Transport one day" and she says "Oh alright, but why not the Minister of Trade and Investment?". I tell her when I go clubbing and she says things like "Vodka and lime? That's all you had? You should have tried Bacardi coke, and tequilas are always good. Oh come on, I've brought you up to hold your liquor". Sometimes she calls up in the middle of the morning and asks me what I'm doing answering my phone when I should be in uni and I say "Oh, I skipped lectures today... lecturer is way too boring so my hall mates are taking turns to attend the lectures to get notes for the rest" and she'd say "Good. You're learning fast, aren't you?". Still I wouldn't want my mother reading my blog. That would be blurring the boundaries of our mother-daughter relationship

My dad says I am a complete younger replica of my mother (but I look just like him). I talk fast, I'm impatient when people don't get my point and I was born with a haughty 'I am superior' look on my face. And for as long as I can remember I have always been my mother's daughter. I took up ballet because mum did. I played the piano because mum did. I took literature for SPM because mum was a Lit student. I adore math because it was mum's favourite too. I speak with her accent. I only trust her approval in clothes. I like the theatre, japanese food and lilies because mum does and I don't like chocolates or artificial japanese flower arrangements because mum doesn't. And I'm studying here in London and not in Brown because... well... I felt I owed it to mum to go back to the city she loved so much and be that London girl she always wanted me to be and not a quirky, Ivy League, american graduate. (No offence to any ivy league grads to be... I love you guys! honest!)

I met up for lunch with one of mum's old uni mates last weekend... and she told me what mum was like in university. Vain, bitchy and loud. And then mum's old friend said "You're so different from your mum. She was never as prim and proper as you are". Puzzling... I AM vain, I AM bitchy and I AM loud enough for my friends to always innocently kill me when we're playing polar bear just because "Charlotte is talking too much!"

Most people never want to become their mothers. I've never thought becoming my mother was a bad thing.

Silly notion in my head at 4am in the morning:

Reading through circuits analysis notes *does* actually make circuits tutorials seem easier. Wow!
I should start making this a habit

The weather just wants me to grow fat and vegetate, doesn't it??? Come on, Mother Nature! You've had a field day yesterday! Raining and raining and raining... and then the fire alarm goes off and we're all stuck outside the hall shivering in the rain, but you won't stop will you? And when I'm walking back from rehearsals in the dark, you're still sloshing buckets all over London. And when I wake up this morning you're at it again... rain, rain, rain. No running for me, no basketball for the others, and now I will have to walk to church and get wet! Do you know why English people always talk about the weather? Because it's bloody unpredictable and bloody inconsistent and always cocks up when you least expect it.

In other news
Jonathan Brandis is dead. Why do I care so much about this? Because he was a teen idol from my pre-teen era. (And because I thought he was the worst addition to SeaQuest DSV). And yes, that was a long time ago. Primary school girls get infatuated over such silly things

I'm turning 21 in a month and a half. And I will be able to vote! Watch me take over the Malaysian government (as long as Amar doesn't fling his bloody bumi rights in my face)

A day in the life of an Ankh Morpork chorus girl

My name is Giselle, and I am a chorus girl. I am flirtatious, self-absorbed and imagine that I can dance and sing. In between rehearsals, which go all too well thanks to me no doubt, I am either incredibly busy preening and checking that my hair is in place and that my tutu emphasises my perky bum! I see things that aren't there... like the opera ghost, with his white face and holes where his eyes should be and he has NO NOSE!!! I scream at anything - fleeting ghostlike images, the chorus master's body hanging from the loft, Mr Salzella the director of music in a sword fight with Walter, the stage hand... and believe me, that is only just the start of what happens in opera.
And from the 3rd to the 6th of December I will be performing at the Union Concert Hall just for your pure entertainment!


When you've spent 6 hours rehearsing in one small room, your stage personality starts to play havoc on your mind.

It never rains but pours...

And I never get about to running, but just vegetate in my room...

I DID feel rather inspired by the NS guys to keep up a fitness routine that didn't just consist of sit-ups and the occasional walk to the fridge across my room. I DID tell everyone at mexican night last night that by hook or by crook I'd be out of bed at 8am and running at Hyde Park. I DID wake up at 8am, watched the raindrops patter gently outside my window, pondered about the pros and cons of keeping fit and getting sick just before christmas tests, and 'reluctantly' crouched back into foetal postition under my warm duvet.

I think I'll run tomorrow.

The cloud of pink balloons did fly
Past my window as I lay
Thinking of pink balloons flying
Over fields of the pinkest hay

And the cloud of pink balloons did land
Upon my bed and covered me
In dreams of pink cotton candy clouds
And the pinkest honey and tea

// After celebrating Avic's birthday with a pretty pink 'Party Girl' cake and pink balloons and pink ribbons (yes, Avic is a guy who's manliness we just disintegrated), can barely say I am in my right mind. Maybe I am in my left//

At almost 3 am in the morning I'm sitting here finishing up tutorials and a tiny red thread of thought is piercing my mind... it was just a little comment, probably meant as a joke, but it's nudging the little grey matters at the back of my mind.

"She's Singaporean what! Yalor... ok Charlotte's semi Singaporean"

And I'm sitting here wondering what it is that makes me so Singaporean because its not just the snide comments the Singaporeans make, I can feel that tiny nugget of Singaporeanisms in the things I do, the things I say or even the things I think about... can two years completely give you a new makeover? Can two years totally redefine you?

Greg was right... When I left Singapore, I took a part of it with me...

Just could not resist posting this! Gosh, I do miss Singapore!

Dear Friends

In Singapore, living in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), most
people have already got used to Paying And Paying (PAP).

Not only do you pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB). If that's not
enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) more from
you. So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only
Environment (MOE)?

When you are sick, you might be able to use your Cash Prior to
Funeral (CPF) fund, if you happen to be admmited to the Money
Operating Hospital (MOH) one time. If you are out of luck, you
may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you and you
will be Sure to Give-up Hope (SGH) ..

To help ease the traffic, motorist have to pay Cash On Expressway
(COE). If that doesnt help, they can always Eternally Raise
Prices (ERP) on the roads. If you don't own a car, you can always
make a Mad Rush to Train (MRT) or get squashed in a bus, Side By
Side (SBS).

Lastly, under all these pressure, there are not many places we
can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it
has become So Expensive and Nothing TO See Actually (SENTOSA).

At the end of the day, living in Singapore is quite frustrating. Even to
the extend of hearing people complianing Now Everyone's Water At
Toilet Eventually Recycled (NEWATER).

You tell me lah, should I be a quitter or stayer?

10 minutes ago Yi Shan said : I want to pass you something, give me 5 minutes.

... I'm still waiting


Time started: 10:59pm
Name : Charlotte
Birthdate : 10 Jan 1983
Home town : Petaling Jaya
Pri School : SRK Sri Petaling
Sec School : SMP Sri Aman
Poly/Jc : Raffles Junior College
University : Imperial College London
Siblings : One little brother and one little sister whom I miss so much!!!
Righty/Lefty: Righty. I'm always right!

~~~~~Your Looks~~~~~
Hair Colour : Ebony
Eye Colour : Dark Mahogany
Contacts/Glasses: Haha... my fake glasses with no power... which I use to block off the rays from my comp screen
Any Piercings: My ears... and when I get the guts, my belly button!
Any Rings : one silver ring with HUNNYBUNNY engraved on it (ok... now you all finally know what was engraved on my ring)
What Shoes Do You Wear: smart pierre cardins for classes, trainers for jogging (hah!), furry bedroom slippers
~~~~~Just Lately~~~~~
How are you today: desperate... (for more study time lah!)
What pants are you wearing: blue jeans
What shirt are you wearing: pink long sleeved body hugging thingee
What does your hair look like at the moment: unruly! curls where it shouldn't...
What song are you listening to right now: Diana Krall's 'Lets Fall in Love'
What was the last thing you ate: dinner - cheese and ham omelette with baked beans and potatos and pineapple sponge cake for desert!! mmmmm!!
How is the weather right now: Lovely when I was walking back in the dark on my own just now
The last person you talked to on the phone: Greg! =)
~~~~~More About You~~~~~
What are the last four digits of your phone?: I can't remember my own number... it's too difficult
If you were a crayon what color would you be?: Purple (don't give me the sex crap, Sherene)
Have you ever almost died: No. When God wants me back he won't let me ALMOST die
Best advice anyone's given to you: "Cry your heart out, but after you're done... pick up the pieces and move on!"... thanks Mummy...
What sport do you hate the most: Volleyball! I'm scared of volleyballs!
How many phones do you have in your house: 3
Do you have your own phone line: I love my room phone, yes I do!
Animals: I miss my puppy, Chelsea
Place for a dream house: Venice
Have you ever sprained/broken/fracured a bone: sprains! Why... I do believe they love me as much as I loathe them!
Who would you tell your dreams to: Greg
Who is the loudest friend: Ruby!
Who is the quietest friend: Richard
~~~~~You and Love~~~~~
Do you believe in love: Of course
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Causes alot of heartache, that one...
Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: no, I have a bestfriend
What song do you want played at ur funeral: Collin Raye's Love, Me
Lights on/off: off
Do you like snow, sun, rain: Dancing in the rain
Summer or winter: Summer
White or chocolate milk: a little in between
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: MUD! MUD! MUD!
Skiing or boarding: Not me, I bruise like a plum
Day or night: night
Cake or pie: Cheesecake... adrian owes me one
Diamond or pearl: Pearls! pearls! Tears of pearls!
Sunset or sunrise: Sunrise at the peak of Mt K... sunset along the East coast shores....

~~~~~~Have You Ever~~~~~
Loved someone so much it made you cry: I cry anyhow...
Smoked: No

Time finished: 11:43 pm (because I was in Cheryl's room chatting!)

Some of the most wonderful poetry ever written, I read at the age of one. (Yes, I could read when I was one... my parents will tell that to anyone who will listen to more braggings about their first born... must have been quite a dissapointment when I didn't get into Cambridge). I think nursery rhymes are some of the best written works that very little credit is given to. The lovely imagery, the beautiful aliterations, the underlying political agenda (Baa baa black sheep is a classic!)... at the age of one I remembered being incredibly emotional over nursery rhymes. I always wanted to meet the fine lady upon a white horse at banbury cross with rings on her fingers and bells on her toes. I wanted a garden like Mary who was quite contrary. I was terrified of the crooked man who walked a crooked mile. And I always went to sleep thinking of Wynken, Blynken and Nod. I just came across a few of my favourites while I was thinking of Wynken, Blynken and Nod after boring myself to death with digital logic. Digital logic is SO unpoetic!

BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, marry, have I,
Three bags full;

One for my master,
One for my dame,
But none for the little boy
Who cries in the lane.

HICKETY, PICKETY, MY BLACK HEN
Hickety, pickety, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen;
Gentlemen come every day
To see what my black hen doth lay.

BOBBY SHAFTOE
Bobby Shaftoe’s gone to sea,
With silver buckles on his knee:
He’ll come back and marry me,
Pretty Bobby Shaftoe!
Bobby Shaftoe’s fat and fair,
Combing down his yellow hair;
He’s my love for evermore,
Pretty Bobby Shaftoe.
**I always imagined that Bobby Shaftoe drowned at sea thus giving this a sad ending. I think I was quite a sadistic child**

COME OUT TO PLAY
Girls and boys, come out to play,
The moon doth shine as bright as day;
Leave your supper, and leave your sleep,
And come with your playfellows into the street.
Come with a whoop, come with a call,
Come with a good will or not at all.
Up the ladder and down the wall,
A half-penny roll will serve us all.
You find milk, and I’ll find flour,
And we’ll have a pudding in half an hour.

COME TO THE WINDOW
Come to the window,
My baby, with me,
And look at the stars
That shine on the sea!
There are two little stars
That play bo-peep
With two little fish
Far down in the deep;
And two little frogs
Cry "Neap, neap, neap";
I see a dear baby
That should be asleep.

CURLY-LOCKS
Curly-locks, Curly-locks, wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash the dishes, nor yet feed the swine;
But sit on a cushion, and sew a fine seam,
And feed upon strawberries, sugar, and cream.
**I could dream forever that someone would propose that to me**

HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the King’s horses, and all the King’s men
Cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again.
**My dad once told me that Humpty Dumpty fell off the little ledge above the big drain out side my house. There was an oval piece of cardboard that was caught between some branches at the bottom of the drain, so I believed him... and went to pay my respects to poor Humpty Dumpty every evening**

HUSH-A-BYE
Hush-a-bye, baby, on the tree top!
When the wind blows the cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall;
Down will come baby, bough, cradle and all.
**Nursery rhymes are sadistic... but I used to recite this one many times, hoping it'd end differently one day**

I HAD A LITTLE NUT TREE
I had a little nut tree,
Nothing would it bear,
But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear.
The King of Spain's daughter
Came to see me,
All because of my little nut tree.
I skipped over the water,
I danced over the sea,
And all the birds in the air couldn't catch me.

IF
If all the world were apple pie,
And all the sea were ink,
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
What should we have for drink?

LADYBIRD
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home!
Your house is on fire, your children all gone,
All but one, and her name is Ann,
And she crept under the pudding pan
**I used to whisper to ladybirds to fly away home... just in case...**

LAVENDER BLUE
Lavender blue and rosemary green,
When I am king you shall be queen;
Call up my maids at four o'clock,
Some to the wheel and some to the rock;
Some to make hay and some to shear corn,
And you and I will keep the bed warm.
**cough cough! Wonder why...**

THE LION AND THE UNICORN
The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown,
The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town.
Some gave them white bread, and some gave them brown,
Some gave them plum-cake, and sent them out of town.
**What a grand sight that must have been**

THE LITTLE GIRL WITH A CURL
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
When she was good, she was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.
** I think my mum told me if I was naughty my hair would curl... hmm...**

LITTLE POLLY FLINDERS
Little Polly Flinders
Sat among the cinders
Warming her pretty little toes;
Her mother came and caught her,
Whipped her little daughter
For spoiling her nice new clothes.
** This one always reminds me of my mum...**

THE MAN IN THE WILDERNESS
The man in the wilderness
Asked me

How many strawberries
Grew in the sea.

I answered him
As I thought good,

As many as red herrings
Grew in the wood.

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
Silver bells and cockle-shells,
And pretty maids all of a row.

OLD WOMAN, OLD WOMAN
There was an old woman tossed in a basket.
Seventeen times as high as the moon;
But where she was going no mortal could tell,
For under her arm she carried a broom.

“Old woman, old woman, old woman,” said I,
“Whither, oh whither, oh whither so high?”
“To sweep the cobwebs from the sky;
And I’ll be with you by-and-by

RIDE A COCK-HORSE
Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
To see a fine lady upon a white horse.
Rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes,
She shall have music wherever she goes.

THE ROBIN
The north wind doth blow,
And we shall have snow,
And what will poor robin do then,
Poor thing ?

He’ll sit in a barn,
And keep himself warm,
And hide his head under his wing,
Poor thing!

RUB-A-DUB-DUB
Rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker,
They all jumped out of a rotten potato,
'Twas enough to make a man stare.

SIPPITY SUP
Sippity sup, sippity sup,
Bread and milk from a china cup.
Bread and milk from a bright silver spoon
Made of a piece of the bright silver moon.
Sippity sup, sippity sup,
Sippity, sippity sup

SIX LITTLE MICE
Six little mice sat down to spin;
Pussy passed by and she peeped in;
"What are you doing, my little men?"
"Weaving coats for gentlemen."
"Shall I come in and cut off your threads?"
"No, no, Mistress Pussy, you'd bite off our heads."
"Oh, no, I'll not; I'll help you to spin."
"That may be so, but you can't come in!"

THREE LITTLE KITTENS
Three little kittens,
They lost their mittens,
And they began to cry,
"Oh, mother dear, we sadly fear
Our mittens we have lost."

"What! Lost your mittens,
You silly kittens!
Then you shall have no pie.
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
No, you shall have no pie."

The three little kittens,
They found their mittens,
And they began to cry,
"Oh, mother dear, see here, see here,
Our mittens we have found."

"Put on your mittens,
You happy kittens,
And you shall have some pie,
Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r,
Oh, let us have some pie."

The three little kittens
Put on their mittens,
And soon ate up the pie;
"Oh, mother dear, we greatly fear
Our mittens we have soiled."

"What! Soiled your mittens,
You silly kittens!"
Then they began to sigh,
"Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow."
Then they began to sigh.

The three little kittens,
They washed their mittens,
And hung them out to dry;
"Oh, mother dear , do you not hear
Our mittens we have washed?"

"What! Washed your mittens,
Then you're good kittens!
Now it's time for bed, bye-bye.
Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r,
It's time for bed, bye-bye."


**And last but not least... my all time favourite bedtime nursery rhyme...**

WINKEN, BLINKEN, AND NOD
Winken, Blinken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe,
Sailed off on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.

"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in the beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!"
Said Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long,
Ruffled the waves of dew.
The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish—
Never afeard are we";
So cried the stars to the fisherman three:
Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam—
Then down from the skies came a wooden shoe
Bringing the fishermen home;
T'was all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought t'was a dream they'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea—
But I shall name you the fisherman three:
Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

Winken and Blinken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoes that sailed the skies
Is the wee one's trundle-bed.
So shut your eyes while your mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fisherman three:
Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

Christmas test is in 2 weeks

and I still have very little motivation to even pick up my pen!

Cooking mishaps rarely happen to me... but I do believe I was being punished today for skipping software engineering lecture. You see, I came back early so that I could cook some instant pasta for lunch and start on circuits tutorials. I happily dumped a packet of instant pasta into my big soup bowl together with milk and butter and hot water, put the lid on and stuck it in the microwave. 5 minutes later I returned with my new pretty oven mitts, showed them off to Ruby and then proceeded to take the lid off the bowl so that I could stir my pasta.

But the lid wouldn't come off.

I tried using a knife to prod the lid. It stayed on. Ruby suggested turning the bowl upside down into Rich's pot. The lid still stuck. I tried pouring hot water over the bowl. It still stuck. The laws of physics clearly were against me today. Rich came into the kitchen to see what the hallabaloo was about and tried to help me pry the lid open. Rich the army boy couldn't open it either. Rich soon returned with a pair of really ugly blue and yellow rubber gloves so that he could firmly grasp the lid and wrench it off the bowl. The lid stayed on as stubborn as super glue (???).

After half an hour, everyone gave up and left me in the kitchen, annoyed, hungry and with my lunch still stuck in the bowl. I decided to put it back into the microwave to see what would happen and lo and behold while my bowl was spinning around on that little microwave plate thingee, the lid popped open. I immediately grabbed the bowl out from the microwave and took the lid off before it had a chance to stick again.

Believe me, lunch never tastes so good until you have to fight your cutlery for it!

I've always wondered why I studied Computing for A Levels. For many eons (roughly the time it takes to mug A Levels to insanity) I questioned God as to why I was stuck in a class, well known for being mainland China, studying a subject that less than 30 people in the whole college were taking and I was not even vaguely excited about. And now I have found my long awaited answer:

To become the resident programmer and Delphi help desk of Linstead Hall!!!

Today after church, I was thinking how lovely the day was... blue skies, lovely weather, 3 mackerels to grill for lunch with unagi sauce... and while I was happily cooking in the kitchen, thinking I had the entire afternoon to slowly work out circuits... Salman comes knocking on the kitchen door. I've got some programming questions, he says. Let me cook my fish first, I say. Ok, I'll just set up my laptop in your room, he says. ??!!??!!! WTF???, I say.

So back to my room I go with my lovely mackerel steaming... take a look at Salman's program. WTF???? Illegal assignments everywhere. Functions that don't return anything. Salman, you CANNOT assign anything to a function! It's not a variable!!! Correct some stuff... let Salman think about it for awhile... just as I'm about to take a bite out of my mackerel... phone rings!!! It's Adrian. Got problems with the programming, he says. Everyone only looks for me the day before the assessment is due, I say. Can you help please, he says. #%)@$^&... oh alright, come on over, I say.

Before long, I'm navigating between two laptops, a program with two different approaches and very different variable names... both trying to do the same thing. My lunch is getting cold, but I can't abandon Salman and Adrian, not when assessment is due tomorrow. I check and check and double check to make sure they've covered every aspect of the problem given. 4 hours later two people leave my room with big accomplished smiles on their faces and I flop down on my bed, tired and brain dead. My cold mackerel took an hour to finish and I still hadn't completed any of my own work. Sometimes I wonder that I try to be a good samaritan, and yet complain...

Thank goodness Amar was cooking dinner and I could study computer architecture comfortably in his room where no one would be looking for me.

The computing help desk is CLOSED and very tired!

I don't really know what to make of Raffles Nite. I've never felt comfortable in a Raffles crowd unless it was Odac. And here I was again... It's strange though that so many people actually recognised me (maybe they were bluffing) but I just couldn't for the life of me remember who they were. And then there were my friends (non Rafflesians from Imperial and I haven't a clue what they were doing there) shouting out my name and making me turn beetroot. How do you make these people understand that back in junior college I was a quiet mousy person who kept a reasonably low profile? I think I'm just uncomfortable trying to blend my malaysian self with my RJ self. It just doesn't work. It seems as if I'm completely two different people!

Some clubbing days are good and some clubbing days were bad. Today was GOOD!

My feet are just killing me right now. Dancing for 4 hours non-stop feels so good while the music's still playing, but once the night is over, it's like a thousand hammers hammering away at the balls of my feet. Ouch! I need a foot massage.
Met alot of new people today, including an old primary school friend I still don't remember. How often can you tell someone "You remember me, don't you? I was one of the nerds in primary school. Yeah, one of the top ten geeks"

And now for some indo mee at 2 45 am... Amar is such a dear...

Why I love hall life...

1. You get an automatic group of friends who come up with wacky ideas like playing the Angel-Mortal game even though we pretty much know each other after 1 and a half months
2. You get to see Farhad and Eric handcuff Ruby's wrist to her ankle and then film it sadistically while Ruby hops around in distress
3. Sliding down banisters... or actually seeing Sachit straddle the banister. Not a pretty sight
4. You can swap room mates if you don't get along with yours
5. File sharing rocks! And so does Ajit's entire collection of Charmed, Smallville, Alias etc.
6. When you're bored you can randomly knock on someone else's room and bore the hell out of them too
7. Landing parties!

and that's just a fraction of it

p/s: Salvador Dali and Norman Rockwell rock!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... I present to you my new room mate: Kristina Buch!

Why I have a new room mate is really a very long story, and I'll save it for one of those get together sessions when I get back home... but point is: I have a NEW room mate! And she's just so lovely!! She's a German and she's doing Biology so we are like total opposites academically (she doesn't fancy electronics and I hate cockroaches...) but we're a perfect match in every other way. We like to study in silence, we don't like noisy music, we don't like noisy people, we like keeping the room tidy and we are such nice people to have around. *cough*

And Kristina is just beautiful! She's tall, thin and blonde and she'd pass for a Claudia Schiffer with brains anyday! Already several guys have mentioned that they might pop by my room and I am *quite* sure I'm not the one they want to visit. *pout* But at least I'll get to meet more hall folk this way. *beam* *beam*

Someone posted this in my comments box. Really cracked me up! I wish I knew who this someone is...

One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don’t believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man—he saw it too.

Sometimes you get that warm contented feeling after you've just stepped out from a refreshing shower, and the rain is softly pattering outside your window, a full moon is hanging in the sky reminding you of many past full moon memories, and you've just warmed up some milk with milo and Tori Amos is crooning in the background...

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses have gone ahead
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

... and maybe, just maybe, someone far far away still loves you...

I feel like a computing help desk today. I just ran up to Yi Shan's room, helped him to solve the assessment programming test. Then came back down to my room and spent half and hour on the phone answering programming questions from Soha. I swear if it wasn't because I actually like these people, there would be a few dead bodies lying around Linstead Hall right now.

I shall now pay homage to all computing help desk deities with their endless wisdom and patience that never wears thin, for their strength in keeping those swears and curses to themselves when incompetent non techies ask "Where's the ANY button?", for not hiring a sniper to shoot the incumbent fools who do not know of the existence of the HELP in their programs.

I think I need to take a bath to cool down... before I blow off the head of the next person who asks me to explain the use of declarations and assignments to them.

Just thought I'd do something completely random:

My Matrix Name is:

Cleo

hmm...

I hate dreaming. I hate having absolutely no control over my thoughts and my actions in this land between sleep and awake. I hate waking up and finding everything was as before and nothing has really changed.

Last night I was back in Singapore. Everyone was there. Everything was alright again. The tremendous amount of joy running through me could have popped a vein or two. And then I woke up and found myself back in London.

Ouch.

Shopping List for me...

I desperately need:
1. Book stands... to stop my text books from playing dominoes
2. A door stop... a desperate measure to make it obvious to everyone that I am actually in my room!
3. Digital Fundamentals by Thomas L. Floyd... so I can look like I'm actually studying
4. Les Miserables full piano score... explained in previous blog
5. A hat, like the kind Eponine wears in Les Mis... just because
6. To reorganise my life

I'm incredibly amused at how a blog entry on pyjama parties elicited immediate response from my girl friends, and none at all from the guys. Curiouser and curiouser.

I do believe my favourite place in the whole of London (besides the departure hall at Heathrow Airport) must be Covent Garden. I fell in love with the place since I discovered the Banana Bookshop when I was 13, from which I bought some of my most favourite randomly chosen books. There's something just so carnival-like and gypsy-ish about the place. I could roam the shops and markets for hours and believe there is magic dust in the air because everytime I turn I see something intriguing that I've not seen before. My purse empties quite magically too while I'm there. I can't put down the books, the little trinkets, the paintings... I so have to go back there next week!

Pyjama Parties bring to mind fluffy slippers, white cotton box shorts, pillow fights and all-night truth or dares. Here in Linstead Hall we had none of that. Instead, I was dressed even less decently than what I normally wear to sleep and that was just no fight for what the other girls were wearing. Think: girls practically in their lingerie with bathrobes on, guys in bathrobes and towels with nothing else on, guys in boxers (honestly if you are going to try and pull that off at least have a body to show for it!) and plenty of beer and JD coke and drinking games. That's London for you! No make overs or gossiping... more like 2 hours of chor tai tee and then another hour of watching what I swear was porn but what the guys insisted was a sex documentary (come on! watching some horny idiots trying out as many kamasutra positions as possible in one minute just to create a new world record... and you think you're still trying to pull the wool over my eyes?... it was 22 out of 35 positions, btw).

'Would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat
'I don't much care where,' said Alice
'Then it doesn't much matter which way you go,' said the Cat
'... So long as I get somewhere,' added Alice as an explanation
'Oh, you;re sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if only you walk long enough.'
LEWIS CARROLL, ALICE IN WONDERLAND

It's not every week that you find yourself crying buckets for the first half and then laughing till your sides split in the second half. I'm not completely ok. I won't ever be completely ok. You guys have been wonderful, but I just don't want to talk... let me live in de nile for awhile.
My friends here have been absolutely wonderful as well
// Thank you Cheryl for appearing at my door like a miracle and suggesting we go guy-hunting! You're such a dear even though you're the most boy-crazy mauritian girl I have ever met!//
And my Malaysian and Singapore kakis have just no idea how much they've helped me just LIVE this week! It's been a crazy crazy week spent...

... playing table tennis after dinner
"The keganasan of Soha vs the Lotus Palm of Amar"
"What's the point of playing if Soha's only aim is to kill Amar?"
"Who's got Zi Ming's balls?" *Loud howling laughter* "I meant the PING PONG balls!!"

... singing along to the piano
"Charlotte, play your signature tune!" Me: "But I've had enough of Vanessa Carlton!!! That's the 3rd person I've taught it to!!!"
(n.b. Zi Ming is the first army scholar I know who has an incredible ear for the piano and can sing!! Luke Goh should be ashamed!)

... walking to High Street Kensington at 11pm in the rain and ending up at McDonalds

... watching Ring 2 in Amar's room
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Me: "What the..."
"No, no... it's just that in the dark with your long hair you look like Sadako... and aaaahhh! Don't stare at me like that!!"

... auditioning for Malaysian Nite as the spoilt daughter of Aaron
"Eh, Charlotte is just so natural as a spoilt, rich brat"
Me: ????????????

... shopping for 5 hours at Selfridges with Amar
"4 hours and we've only covered the ground floor and basement? You're worse than a girl, do you know that Amar?"

... cooking chicken curry for several hungry Msians/Sporeans
"I think it's too sour"
Me: "Who told me to add one whole tub of yoghurt, huh? And you DARE complain its sour!!"

and that's not even the whole of it!!!

Today at 3pm (Malaysian time) our great nation will witness a changing of guards. It is with sorrow that I watch our great leader pass on the baton, and together with it the blood and sweat of his triumphs and the tears and cries of a race who have yet to understand how much he has tried to save them.

Do you feel the tremor of the unknown? How far is his successor going to run?

This is for everyone who's not in Malaysia. Do your part in paying tribute to Dr. Mahathir

I'm strong am I? You really think so? Why is it that your perception of me is so vastly different from my perception of myself? You can keep telling me to be strong... but I'm not. I'm crumbling inside and if I was strong I wouldn't. If I was strong I wouldn't be crying and walking back alone from South Kensington Station in the dark. If I was strong I'd accept that this is the right thing.

If I were strong I'd know how to make a whole out of a half again...

going into hibernation and hoping i wake up in a different place

Seeing that my birthday isn't that far off (just 3 months more... give or take a week or two) I think it's fair to start requesting for birthday presents, whether or not I am likely to get them. The last time I requested for birthday presents (a long list of stationary including A4 paper, highlighters and glue) I got exactly what I wanted and I've never requested for any presents since then.

This present on the top of my list this time is the piano score for Les Miserables. Since downloading the entire album off someone's shared folders (the name shall remain anonymous since I don't want him knowing that I've also been snooping around his picture files), I just can't get 'On My Own' and 'A Little Fall of Rain' out of my head. I even sing it when I'm walking back from the Union alone at night... it sounds ludicrous but I feel safer when I'm singing while walking back past 10pm on my own.

So there you go! No more spending long days pondering about what to get me for my 21st birthday! No more browsing around gift shops trying to remember which soft toy you've already given me twice or which book I haven't read yet. No more worrying that your present will be chucked aside as an obligatory ugly desk ornament. I've made it easy for you! Yes, I always think of you before my own self, don't I?

This is a crime.
I'm publishing a post for the sake of it.
I should be shot.
But at least this will stop some particular people (Yeah! I mean YOU!!!) from complaining that I don't update my blog often enough.
What do you really want me to say?

**/ Today I was late for Computer Architecture lecture. I had to sit on the steps and poor Kuna who was late too had to uncomfortably share notes with me on the steps. Then I had my favourite lecture: Software Engineering I, with my favourite buffy fanatic lecturer - Jeremy Pitts. Fell asleep while he was talking about boolean logic, woke up, answered a question wrongly and fell back asleep much to Yi Shan's amusement... probably. Had pizza for lunch and then proceeded to a torturous 3 hour Elec. Lab. Wrestled with oscilloscope and was close throwing it at someone's head in fit of frustration at not being able to produce the right square wave/**

Look, I'm an engineering student. I do not lead a particularly interesting life... engineering is synonymous with watching butter melt. So excuse me when I come back from classes and deny you the pleasure of knowing what particular Delphi programme is developing in my mind (which when actually typed onto the actual Delphi 7 environment never works quite as well).

Bah... I'm going to write a long belated mass mail to everyone now. Right... unleash stress on beloved malaysian and singapore residing friends!

*groggy*
It's 10:35am and I just rolled out of bed... literally... which is quite painful because me bed is just slightly less than 3 feet high.
I'm wondering if I can still make it for church! hmm... bad bad me... oh there's a mass at 12:30! Thank god for the Internet. Saves me from walking down to the church in the cold to check what time masses are.
Heating has been turned off this weekend. I have to check every few minutes to see if my toes have turned blue and are in danger of frostbite.
I need to tie myself to my chair today and actually get some reading or problem sheets done. I must be the only engineer who hasn't borrowed anything from the library. Damn you conscientious hard working nincompoops!
I've been on a study hiatus since friday night, beginning with the Linstead Hall coming up dinner (read: black tie event --> omg! what to wear?). Didn't see much point in looking *really* nice just for these bunch of freakazoids whom I see in the halls everyday and treat me like an annoying beatle who's in their way but too defenceless for them to crush to death. But you quickly realise what great stimuli a pretty dress and make-up are for conversations. Guys are now making the effort to ask me compulsive conversation starters, i.e. :"So how was your day?" and "How is it I've never seen you before?". That's because you're a shallow dope and you don't look any girl in the eye who's just come back from college looking like an accident involving files, bits of paper and horribly coloured sweaters.
The night was pretty fun, asians sitting at a fully asian table... making politically incorrect jokes in Manglish and Singlish, knowing no one else would realise we were actually speaking ENGLISH!
We played a fun game that night: guess who's shagging in the guys toilet. It was Yi Shan's fault, coming out of the mens with digust written all over his face saying "Guess who's in the toilet". Wasn't difficult to put 2 and 2 together as more and more guys came out with bemused smiles and a "I know something you don't know" look. Anyway didn't even need to guess since Angela was going to spill more than I needed to know the next morning.
Spent a lazy Saturday morning just being lazy. Finally got dressed and caught a bus down to Oxford Street to do some form of shopping with Soha. Then after getting lost a few times, we made it to Holborn where Ying and Jas were waiting for us with a warm cooked dinner. I love these LSE people... they all cook! Then went over to Ying's hall to play some disastrous pool (specific to me only) and by the time we decided to make a move, it was past 11pm.
I wouldn't have minded the time if it was Spore or KL, but London at night *is* quite scary, as Soha and I found out when we were literally almost running through the empty subways passing by plenty of dangerous looking homeless people. We were utterly joyful at the bright and warm sight of Linstead Hall even though it was past midnight. Must stop all these late night rendezvous, really!

So at 10pm just now, Ruby comes knocking on my door asking if I'm feeling hungry. Half an hour later, 5 asian girls are sitting in a corridor eating Chinese take-away and grapes and gossiping. Caucasians pass by every now and then giving us those LOOKS which clearly say "uncivilised orientals"!

I've got a part in a play!!!!
I say 10 lines!!! But what the heck!!! I'm still in the play!!!
We're doing Terry Pratchet's Maskarade... which is a version of The Phantom of the Opera set in Ankh Morkpork... and I play the part of one of the chorus girls! I wanted to be the prima donna... but they don't cast small asian girls with malaysian accents on big roles. *sniff*

Belated post written in angst... sorry...

Finally when I think I might actually enjoy clubbing (I've had the right drinks, someone's paid for my tequila sunrise, people telling me I look great... I'm such a vain pot, so sue me... I'm having all these brilliant conversations with people I don't know, and someone's actually gotten the DJ to play the right music... or else stuck a knife to his back, my girlfriends and I are on the dance floor with all the right grooves) then everything starts to go wrong. Idiots try to push you to get all sorts of nauseous concoctions. The bloody bastard who bought me a drink now thinks he bloody owns me and is trying to monopolise every conversation I'm having with someone else. You realise that exposing more skin when dressing also means coming into contact with more sweaty people which is extremely gross. I learnt that some guys just don't know when to shut up about how many patents they have (this is the curse of studying in Imperial College of *SCIENCE*, *TECHNOLOGY* and *MEDICINE*, you notice that people who study history don't go on at length about how much they were paid for writing a life saving source code that Bill Gates was actually bowled over by), the music is still great but really, Singaporean guys don't have to ask me "So... can RJ girls actually dance?". I never thought I'd stand up for RJ, especially on the subject of dancing but... prove it I did. With further disastrous effects.

I have this funny feeling that I must have missed out on the ethical dance behaviour in clubs, but assuming there was no such thing then... all Caucasian males are not only unfortunate looking, they are sleazy bastards! I appreciate the fact that you want to get to know me better, but hell, will you take your hand off my shoulder! And running your grimy hands down ANY part of me is not winning you ANY favours!

I think I'll just stay in my room and vegetate for now... at least that will keep me away from all forms of British slimeballs.