Back from the island. Dumped my brother in a very posh hostel... I can't believe his luck! How did I get stuck with spooky old Eton Hall and he gets the bourgeois life of an ACS boarding school!

Meeting up with Odac was unbelievable. 18 out of 20... that was a 90% attendance! And a 100% guy attendance - I have to give it to you guys! And it was actually fun and we didn't get sian too soon... definitely worth coming all the way down to Singapore for. Some things really haven't changed. But some things have... little things... you guys probably wouldn't even notice.

And now it's back to planning this 21st birthday of mine. I still can't even think of anything I'd want to put on my wish list. The things I want can't even be bought... and you can't help me... really...

I'm back from the island down south.
Trying to force feed myself reality.
Getting a grip on why falling off the edge is all too easy.
Ironically.

You hate it here and you want to run away... run back to London and leave problems behind where they look smaller because the distance makes everything simple.

And then again you don't. You want to say the things that were unsaid and tie up the loose ends of the sides that have frayed, before it unravels and nothing is left.

And maybe you never want to go back there again. Because it was too painful walking alone past all those places we used to haunt together. Because it hurts to be neglected and treated like the most unimportant speck of dust in this world.

I'm counting the days till I can runaway from this. I don't care that I'm making my life in London a make believe cotton candy world. I don't care that I'm putting on masks again. I don't want to care... because if I've cared too much about you.