!! Please don't ban The Economist !!

I've only taken a sneak peak at The Economist before. When I was in Raffles Junior College it seemed as if only the most profound and learned students (usually the Humanities people... I'm waiting for the Science people to strike me dead with a cathode ray gun), would browse the pages of THE magazine to read if you want to be up to date with all that's happening in the world (Newsweek and TIMES were considered fluffy material). I personally didn't venture further than 3 pages at a time... I'm still trying to digest that article I was reading on China's democracy.

But now our all-mighty Barisan wants to tie the noose on The Economist for one particular article which I have tried fervantly for the last few days to get a copy of but to no avail. If anyone is kind enough, it's titled The Changing of Guard - A Survey of Malaysia and it was released on April the 5th, please send it to me!!!. I got a few quips and quotes of the article from an article written in the Star [view here] I DO agree that we deserve the decency of an apology from The Economist, but look, please, don't ban it! It's bad enough that only a small minority of Malaysians read the magazine but nevertheless we need objective reading material these days... and yes, that does include the high and mighty voice of those 'Ang Mo's! So this is my little, tiny, individual plea (which will not be read and hopefully if it is JPA will not take away my scholarship) to not ban The Economist. I still haven't finished reading on China...

What 'flavour' of Malaysian are you?
No! I'm not taking more of those emode tests... I'm still sore about the Pink Chiffon fiasco... This title appeared on the front page of The Star, our local English daily, today. And I'm feeling rather miffed because I can't relate to *any* of the flavour categories! Die-lah! I'm not a Malaysian, is it?
Go check out which category of Malaysian YOU belong to here

Sorry, I can't help the colour scheme at the moment....

It hurts her
You can tell
As the tears become a veil
Around her placid brown eyes
Endorsing the reality
Which she wishes were a dream
She still dreams
Of better times
But time has not been kind
To either of them
A right match, wrong time
A rose that had blossomed too soon
Nipped by winter's frost
Casting a shadow on the moon
Which would cry for her if it could
But what's the use of crying?
When what she wants is light
To shine on her way
But it shines
On too many ways
She's afraid of choosing
For fear choice will turn against her
But she's determined
To follow the moon
While scarred memories cling on
Like frightened children
She wishes but she can't let go
And there are shadows in her eyes
But you can still see the moon

For my dearest friend who's been through so much... she's so much happier now...

Bits and pieces

Last night's icq conversation with Anushia (slightly modified):
Baby Seal: wei i just printing my assginment gonna sleep soon got test tomolo liao. :-( i die oredi
Me: haiyah... u say that about EVERY test!! you WON'T die!!!
Baby Seal: i am gonna .... study in 2 days ok.. damn freaked oredi
Me: er... calm down you've gotta realise tt every exam is not the end of the world. if it was.... anu, you must have a real knack of reincarnating everytime! I think ur the best drama queen when it comes to exam hysterics... they really should have an academy award for your category!
**// Thinks to self: If they really did have such a category, Anushia would have won it 5 years in a row, and proceed to make Oscar history by winning it throughout every year of her Medical Student life! //**

What is your signature colour?
I took the test at emode and the result is...

**breathes deeply**

CHIFFON PINK???!!!!
Oh come on! Me? Have I become synonymous with ballet barbie, cotton candy and Baby Spice? Or have I just been living in denial all this while thinking I am some sardonic sarcastic b*tch... I'm leading a delusional life!
btw... I took the "How Passionate are You?" test too... I've had imaginary fangs all this while...

Plastic Perfection
I have had an overdose of articles on plastic surgery that it's beginning to freak me out. ABC has a new reality show called Extreme Makeover (read about it at my all time favourite reality news online) where
//quote//
ABC takes the makeover show to the extreme when they provide two women with a variety of plastic surgery to take care of lips, eyes, breasts, stomachs, teeth, and more! Why just go in for a new hairstyle when you can get a whole new body?
//unquote//
Interesting... plastic surgery is becoming entertainment! Then in yesterday's Malay Mail I read an article about men who were image conscious enough to face the surgeons scalpel. Honestly I couldn't tell the difference between the before and after photos... slight diffrences that drinking loads of water and having the right amount of sleep could repair without needing pain killers! And today in Marie Claire (erm... do not ask me why I am reading women's magazines but due to boring hours of waiting for my mum's line dancing classes to be over I can now tell you the entire contents of Cleo, Women's Weekly... and what's that other magazine called again?), I read an article on women paying thousands of pounds (a complete face job could put me through 2 years of university!) just to have that perfect nose and ironed out skin!
Well! I foresee having many artificial looking colleagues who gather around the coffee pot to talk about "Lisa's doctor is just a wonder! Did you see how he made those nose to mouth lines disappear?" and "God bless the man who invented Botox!" (hmm... it could have been a woman). And just as I adamantly will not rebond my hair to look different from my svelte college mates with long iron-straight hair... I believe in say about 40 years, I might just stand out from the mass of plastic clones as the only one with real dimples, double eyelids and laugh lines!

Word on the tip of my tongue
Dulcinea - meaning sweetheart

Have you ever felt
Anger seep through you
Like Blood
Seeping through
The welcoming fibres
Of an unoffensive
White, blank, sheet
Painting you red
A boiling fury
Of Red
Just Red
While your heart longs to cry

I had another 'fight' with Greg last night about the Msia vs Spore issue for the umpteenth time. I hate fighting with him... because he's usually right, and I can never come up with a good enough counter attack which he cannot put down. Aaargh! That was a feminist cry that translates as: I hate not being right. And I should be shot and skinned alive for using subversive tactics (i.e. crying) to win arguments.

Just a little interesting quote that caught my eye today: All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
(The Importance of Being Earnest - Oscar Wilde)

Two separate frequencies
One lonely night
Modulating amplitudes
One left and one right
They once were coherant
Resonated from the same source
But one interference
Set them off on their own course
One took the left
And the other took the right
Swearing they will never meet again
For if it so happens
By pure coincidence
They'll deflect away on separate plains

Erm... you won't get this unless you did Physics. By the way... contrary to what you might think... I hated the chapter on waves the most!

I finally got my lazy bum off my lazy chair to book tickets for 'The Complete Works of William Shakespeare'... comedy style. I missed it when I was in Singapore (the Arts students didn't tell me about it and the Engineering faculty students never take their noses out of their text books). Anyway, I *have* to relate this incident with my little sister (13 yrs) because it was just so amusing!
sis: Why are we going to watch Shakespeare? What is it about?
me: erm... you know er... Romeo and Juliet?
sis: Yeah I know! Are they going to say the poem in my literature text book?
me: What poem?
sis: Life's Brief Candle?
me: You mean, out, out brief candle?
sis: Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
me: er... yeah... that one....
sis: And what else is going to happen
me: Well... other plays. You know like Twelfth Night?
sis: er...
me: The play I did for SPM lit...
sis: huh?
me: The one about the twins! Where the girl dresses up as a boy!
sis: Oh!! I know that one... there... (points to picture of Gwyneth Paltrow in the newspapers). She acted in it right?
me: erm... NO!!!
sis: yeah! She did! I saw!
me: That was Shakespeare in Love!
sis: oh, got what else?
me: Midsummers Nights Dream
sis: *blank look*
me: The one that Ally Macbeal person acted in
sis: oh... with the donkey!
me: er yes... and then there's Love's Labours Lost
sis: er...
me: The one that Alicia Silverstone acted in...
sis: oh... boring...
me: And there will be Hamlet, Macbeth, Merchant of Venice...
sis: Hamlet?
me: "To be or not to be?"
sis: I know that one!!
me: Ok good! You're all ready to watch Shakespeare next Thursday
sis: See! I told kor-kor (elder brother) I know all about Shakespeare!
Sigh... if it wasn't for the fact that we are eerily almost duplicates in looks, I'd swear she was adopted!

I want time to fly
While I sleep and let the world
Pass by
I want time to fly
So I'll wake up in another phase
Of my life
I want time to fly
Because I don't want to deal
With today
I want time to fly
I want to fly with it before its
too late
Fly past these numbers
Theories and dates
Fly pass these tests
The worry and fate
Fly away from it all
Past the barrier of sound
But my wings cannot fly
They are pinned to the ground

16/09/2000

I hate studying for exams. Sometimes I want time to fast forwards so that everything will be over and at the same time I want time to rewind so that I can gain back all those minutes I wasted dilly-dallying over mundane things like clipping my toe nails and not studying. I'm a born procrastinator... and I have NEVER been fully prepared for any test I've sat for in my life (except Modern Math which was a brain dead subject).

Finally the Iraq war no longer hogs the headlines of our English Dailies. (Well, in the case of The Malay Mail tabloid news always preceded any other news, but they don't count). SARS has taken over and I am rather amused to see Malaysia and Singapore repressing their innate habit of throwing insults across the causeway and working together (although stepping on each others toes once in a while) to overcome this vile disease. Looking on the brighter side of things, SARS may actually seal the wound that was caused by the water issue and the Pulau Batu Puteh/Pedra Branca fights. I'm idealistic? Yeah I know... I'm the one dating a Singaporean aren't I?

Family News Flash: I have a new niece. My cousin just delivered a beautiful baby girl called Emma! Jane Austen would be pleased! Considering that I have no affinity towards my 2 older nephews Christopher & Michael and my rather irritating niece, Jaime, and that I'm barely acquainted with my baby nephews Scotti, William, Elliot & Nathan, nor my other baby nieces Kathryn and Julie (the fact that I actually know their names at all is impressive!), I'm hoping Emma will be a little angel. The fact that she currently lives in Melbourne, thousands of miles away from me, helps alot!

Yesterday
If you gave me a rose
I would kiss you
And thank you for your kindness
For touching my heart
Today
You have handed me a bouquet
And asked me to pick one
Perplexed
I try to illiminate
Colour coordinate
Or even count the days before they wither
But I can't pick one
Won't you help me?
Why can't the flower pick me?

No matter how hard I try, I can't remember why I wrote this. It doesn't help that it's not dated. My closest guess is that it was written at a point in time when I couldn't decide where my ambitions lay. I still can't. I must be the only engineering student in the world whose dream is to open a craft shop!

Cruel slayer, darkest nights
The cold winds of November
Could not have frozen a heart as such
One sullen, merciless prayer
For vixens rule with coquetish eyes
And hearts they can set on fire
But with one strike, a cunning Delilah
Has stabbed a heart with treacherous desire
Once fancy dreams, are nightmare's real
And the cold rains won't stop pouring
For womenkind is a vile disease
With no cure nor a forewarning
Tread if you must, set chase to Diana
But beware her hunting arrow shot
Run as you might, take cover and hide
But your heart is never safe from this evil plot

I doesn't take much to crush a guy's heart into pulp sometimes. They can be such weak little fools... Damn! I so know I'm going to get a ear-full from someone later...

I saw a sparrow outside my window
And I told it "Life's full of crap!
"You kill yourself doing all this shit
"And in the end you get nothing back!
"If I had wings like you did
"I'd fly away from here
"Escape the troublesome fate of men
"If not I'll die, I fear"
The sparrow shook its head in sorrow
In such a way that sparrows do
And he said, "Life's full of crap, BUT
"The crap is made by you
"So what if you had my wings?
"Would that excuse you from stress and worry?
"Would you rather fear a hunters gun
"Than life's bustling haste and hurry?
"Just as I risk my life each day
"The challenge opens things anew
"I learn from each mistake I make
"Like spending time talking to you!
"Make life your own, you're only crap
"Of you feel each task is shitty
"Then what excuse can you give yourself
"For you made life this gritty!"
I thought real hard and soon realised
That life's crap is my own fault
And if I pulled myself together I'd realise
That sparrows can't talk for nuts!

Chuckle! Just one of those times when I felt like writing something totally nonsensical. Throw out the Jewel and bring in the Spike Milligan. Yup... just one of those days...

You think when you're 20 you'd remember not to do really stupid things like...
1. Wear a white T-shirt when it looks like rain and you're out jogging with a guy
2. Switch on my headlights at night... after driving for 10 minutes without them...
I was thinking about Singapore's allegations about our media as I was reading the Malay Mail today. Maybe they're right after all. But then again... they don't know that the Malay Mail is a tabloid. It's all a matter of misunderstanding. But then again, the Straits Times which is definitely NOT a Singaporean tabloid runs equally scandolous news on Malaysia. So what do *they* have to say about that?

And now the whole world is laughing
In its own cynical way
In the face of fear
Knowing it has betrayed
They fear not the guilt
The poor and weak know
They stand in whispers
From the laughter below

Hold out your hand
I'll reach out to touch
The heartache the spirits
All thrown in the dust
The ailing the lonely
As much as I can
Battle the laughter
The evil withstand

Give up not your children
Tell them hope's near
While money burns bright
No one is holier
Greed and revenge
Mingle and dance
The innocent watch aghast
At sin in its trance

Lead us not into what befalls
Take away hate, good neighbours call
Shed all that's earthly
Gaze at the sky
Watch the same stars
God made so bright
Know there is love
Know there is care
We won't despair
We know God's really there.

Wrote this when I was in form 4, very active in CB, and still strong in my faith. I want to believe I still believe... especially in times like these

Incoherent personal ramblings ahead.
I saw you in my dreams last night. And it was so real. I could see you clearly, I heard your voice, I felt the warmth of your presence... and I was so happy. I think I've been keeping all the missing and tears pent up, and that's why you appeared last night... because my soul needed somewhere to release everything. But the worst part was waking up, realising that you weren't beside me... and crying because a dream had played tricks on me! That wasn't fair at all!
Lion City Report 21/04/03 : Nothing new. Pasir Panjang market has been closed as a precautionary measure. I don't think that in anyway is insulting. I'm scared though. Greg lives in Pasir Panjang!

Woodland Spells

Whistle down winters
Of glazed covered snow
Heed not the weather
As further we go
Sing praises of nature
Drink in the sky
Set sail on a whispering
Wind's lullaby
Linger on sweet scents
That tingle on memory
Succumb to the shades
Of Twilight trickery
Answer to the echoes
Of a young cuckoo's call
Flirt with a daring
Breeze's rise and fall
Sighing tears on rosebuds
Shatter a mirrored pool
All beauties of Mother Earth
All now part of you

12/1/00

I remember telling Jason that I must have been giddy in love when I wrote this because this is a seriously embarassing work! Nevermind... I liked the rhyming....

Happy Easter! Hallelujah! I can eat meat again!
Alright... that was rather out of context, but I have the right to rejoice after surviving only on fish and vegetables for the past 40 days. And it wasn't just me. My whole family decided to give up red meat for Lent... so for over a month my wonderful mum who came up with a million ways to cook tofu fed us on green stuff and seafood.
So after 40 days my brother was ready to pounce on a huge rib eye steak... but as circumstances had to be... our favourite steak house closes on Sundays, so Dad took us to... *groan*... a SEAFOOD restaurant! But never mind, they had very good pig knuckles.
I'll pass on the tofu, thank you!
Lion City Report 20/04/02: Not even a pinprick aimed at our good neighbour down south today. Highlights? Uncle Goh's speech on how SARS is going to kill Singapore. One thing I respect about that man is that he knows he can say "In Singapore's context, like it or not, people understand fines" without flinching. Read more here

1st January 2000

I can hear a silent cry in the night
So soft it's deafening
Yet its brilliant masked face stares at me
As it tries to convince me
It has rustic charm
That it holds an untouched, unstained
Millenium in its hands
A lighted doorway
For mankind to enter
But I in my disbelief
Brush it off
Like an inferior speck of dust
And as I move away, it glowers
And bursts into one or two sparkles
Cheap glamour
It has conned the weak
Into believing it's all worth something
But I won't be taken in
I'll wait for the authentic
I'll wait another year

Everyone knows the 'authentic' Millenium is really 1st January 2001. Oh fine. Dispute it. I don't care. Never knew what the whole hype about the Millenium was anyway

Latest update on my blogger. I've managed to insert a link for photos. Go techy me! And after being riled up by Greg's lousy OCS lectures on Malaysian vs Singaporean politics I'm going to do my own little survey on our Malaysian media.
Lion City Report 19/04/02: Singapore was not insulted in the papers today.

Examination Dramatics

Sitting alone, facing a sheet
Of twisted puzzling schemes
Filled within, a pressure erupting
Of outer-worldly screams
The choices of indecision
Leave shivers down your spine
While your heart prays for hours to pass
Or else to turn back time
Each unpredictable moment
Unfolds a mini melodrama
And every sigh signals the end
To an immense emotianal trauma
And deja vu dances around you
The familiar sights and sounds
Have all been seen and done before
Each time exam season comes around

I have to thank History exams for inspiring many an exam themed poem! Studying History must have been the most tormentous thing in the world... but now that I don't study it anymore, I think it was quite a nice subject after all. =)

I feel terribly ashamed complaining about my family's income. I just read in the papers today that the average Iraqi family has an income of $3 US a month. That's 12 ringgit a month. That's not even as much as the price of my new sandals! Shame on me!
In other news... (oops, that sort of caught on from reading Grace's blog)... today in French class one of the Ah Lians wore a baby tee with a picture of the Virgin Mary on it. Unless this is in preparation for Easter, and I have my doubts that she (the Ah Lian) is a Catholic, I do not think the Blessed Mother should be worn as a fashion accessory! I was very tempted to ask if she was Catholic but a little voice in my head said "stop being a holier than thou idiot! you who's faith has been as fragile as a candle in a blizzard for the last 2 years!".

Tomorrow's Dreams

I saddle my horse
To ride away with the wind
Into the uncertain horizon
Of my future
I'm leaving behind
Girlhood's frivolous nature
Letting fate tempt me
Into choosing my path
Where there's no return
And I shed a tear as the gates
To my youth
Close on me
Packing my dreams into a box
Labelled reality
The winds have changed
And I stand beside the ghost of my past
As nostalgia whispers
Forgotten prose in my ear
I am now my own master
I have grown up

I love this poem. Jewel inspired. It was the very first time reality pounced viciously on me and I woke up knowing I had to grow up. I wrote it sometime towards the end of Form 5. But the funny thing was I don't think I did grow up in junior college. If anything, RJ and Odac kept me younger longer. And even though I gave up all my girlishness while I was in Singapore, its come back to me with a vengeance. Explains the pinks and purples, the patient skin care routine, the lipstick in my handbag, the many many new pairs of shoes. Sigh...

Have not blogged for awhile, but have had some thoughts on my mind... let me just leave some here to take the weight off...
1. It doesn't matter that you are one out of 20 Singaporeans (do not ask why I am considered a Singaporean, this one I cannot fathom either) accepted into a prestigious Ivy League. People will still say, "Oh, yeah, I think Brown is quite a good university also" or "Brown... is... in England, right?" or worse still, "Brown ah... what university is that? Why didn't you apply to Harvard?". I rest my case.
2. You only realise that you are poor... very poor... when you have to fill in your scholarship form looking absolutely destitute as your family survives on your Dad's income which is a measly 5000 ringgit a month and selling the family home won't even be enough to cover the cost of your education!

Interval of Silence

They can't hear me
They won't perceive my thoughts
They implore me
Just talk, speak, respond!
But it's all a buzzing distant
Harmony in the background
Of my intricate world
Which weaves gossamer threads of raindrops
Each a glint of Sunlight
Each similar
Each different
Pirouetting upon a silver stage
That serves as my window ledge
And shimmers into pools of melted hopes
A cadence in its mesmerising waltz
Then they return
They look at me and shake their heads
They try to envision
What it is
That has locked
The doors between our worlds
And thrown away the key
Yet little do they know
The gateway to my universe
Is simplicity
To hear the symphony
Of the wind in it's rising and falling grace
And there are no intervals of silence
As its tuneful melody plays on
And the mirages stand still
In my vast world I call a reality
All relating only to that which is felicity personified
But they'll only call it idle dreams
They'll never know
Things aren't always what they seem

The first of my poems to be publised... in Sri Aman's yearbook (2000). Dreamy... that's always been me... just living in my world of dreams

This afternoon the Iraq UN Ambassador pronounced that the war was over... then Donald Rumsfield keeps appearing on screen saying there is more to fight (what *is* this American obsession about fighting?)... then BBC and CNN keeps replaying footages of Saddam's statue being pulled down, defaced, defiled and used as a dancing platform for elated Iraqis... I just wonder how come there is no footage of them doing the same to American and British troops... maybe after they realise that nothing is being done to rebuild Iraq and looting and plundering becomes part of the national economy. No more to say. Am not trying to impose my own political views......... right!

The placidness of a face
Hides many convulsions of feelings
Banging on the locked doors
But they can't be released
Won't be leased to life
The trickery in a smile
Reads many chapters
Of many scenes
Mirages, all of them are
I'm afraid to know what's
on the other side of the mirror
Afraid my eyes will tell all

Maybe there is a wall... after all...

There are two Ah Lians in my French class. Unlike many people, I haven't really had to the chance to meet a real Ah Lian face to face nor many Ah Bengs. But the two in French class are enough to send shivers down my spine such that I swear I will NEVER visit APIIT (due to Sachpal's many many blood curdling horror stories). Maybe I'm exagerating but every word those Ah Lians speak is similar to nails on a black board. And I'm selios lor! Veli pain to my ears ah!! Soli. I act big big... like elitist but I leally cannot tahan lah!!

Where so raindrops go
When they fall on desert sands?
Do they ever find their way back
To themselves?

Or do they disperse
In the intensity of the alien heat
Which is not them?

Was trying to find myself. Its still lost

*OH*MY*GOSH* (Imagine this in squeaky Janice-ala-FRIENDS-fame voice) Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! Its been 14 hours and I think I'm still dreaming. Did I read that right? The part that said 'we look forward to seeing you at Brown'? I've been accepted into an Ivy League! Me? That's my name on the letter, right? Albeit it says Charlotte S. Yeow... albeit the post man said "I have a parcel for Charles...erm...Tee Yeoh?" It's me! They actually want me! Even though I wrote in my application that the one reason I wanted to go to Brown is because the name Providence just thrills me! Call me in a few days... I think I would have gotten over the exhilaration and hot-air-balloon headedness by then. If not, you can read about Brown University yourself right here *nudge* less than 5 Malaysians are accepted into Brown every year. Ok, ok I'm sorry! Just let me enjoy my moment for awhile!
By the way I'm also floating about 10 cm off the ground because Greg got posted into Officer Cadet School and I'm just so proud of him! Besides, army guys in that white polished OCS uniform are such a big turn on in comparison to the grubby common green everyone else wears.

There ain't such a thing
As a summer breeze
We learn the hard way
So fast, so please
Tell the world that
Innocence ain't a shield
It pierced me harder
Than an ultra violet beam
Darkness covers its ugly skin
And pretends to be your friend

My favourite line everytime I made a huge mistake in my life used to be "But I was young then!". Maggie will attest to that. Ironic that I've had to learn through experience that experience *is* life's true teacher

I just fumigated my room. I saw a cockroach crawling into it, so I grabbed a can of insect spray (at least I *hope* it was insect spray) and blindly smogged my entire room, slammed the door and ran as far away as I could. Which leads to my sitting in front of my comp, half awake and wondering how long it takes half a litre of insect spray to kill one cockroach? Makes me think of that light bulb question... which makes me think of that Singapore JC light bulb question (How many Rafflesians does it take to change a light bulb? 4 faculties) which makes me think about thinking.
I don't really think much perse. Sometime after form 5, I let my brain become idle, and then the water seeped in which helped increase the rate of rusting which in turn caused the screws to disintegrate and fall out... and after awhile I just stopped thinking deeply about things. Just didn't care. If things don't affect me why should I waste brain cells on it? But that's only a one way ticket to dumb blonde-ville!
But lets say, hypothetically speaking, I was thinking about how to decorate a flower basket... now that's something I could spend hours thinking about... and after a week I would have come up with 1000 ways to decorate said basket! Give me something creative to brain storm about and my brain works at a trillion to the power of a billion GHz! But that only makes me think how shallow a person I am.
I don't think about world hunger, or potical controversies or even what makes people tick. And then when an emotional problem blows up in my face and I *have* to think about it I wonder that I never thought about it before and could have prevented the whole mess in the first place... either that or I just get confused and sob till someone else gives in. Not the best of answers but it does provide temporary relief.
I have a strange strange mind... I'm not sure I even understand it anymore...

Only I know why I feel spring
Only I can hear sparrows' songs
Only my mind knows the light of day
Only I know I've seen dawn

Mad ramblings. Sometimes I write things that... just.... rhyme? and sound nice?

I have a baby brother
He is 17
But he's still my baby brother, who recently got angry at me over our shared bathroom and hid my toothbrush. Knowing he was up to one of his childish pranks when I couldn't find my toothbrush, I just used his. For a week. Until I found my toothbrush carefully hidden behind the shampoo bottles.
This isn't the first time. A few years ago he got made at me for hogging the Internet one night so he stormed into his room and didn't come out. I unwittingly went to sleep at 11 p.m. At 12 midnight my alarm clock rang. Thinking I'd set it by mistake I shut it off and went back to sleep. At 1a.m. the alarm on my swatch watch went off. Now, I couldn't be that much of an idiot of set 2 alarms at such unholy hours. But what the heck, shut off watch alarm, yawn, go back to sleep. At 2 a.m. I awoke to the sounds of a train whistle and a chug-a-chug-a-chug thundering in my room. Since when did dreams become so visual? I searched high and low for the source of this phantom train and finally pulled out my brother's christmas present from under my bed : an alarm clock in the shape of a train crossing light! No prizes for guessing who had planted it there.
But that's my baby brother for you. Never underestimate the mischieviousnous of a baby brother. Especially when ONE of your koala bear slippers goes missing... and you find it sitting on the roof tiles outside your window ledge... as my baby sister would tell you

The night before History Exam

Twilight lingers, fingering the tree tops
Sleep beckons me
As I shiver in the cold
Thought playing catch in my mind
Making no sense
Unorganised
Darkness draws my eyelids
Closer
closer
But the tinge of coffee on my tongue
Brings consciousness around again
I am alone
With only paper
Pens
And dates
Blackmailed into arranging
Confusion into order
Before I dig my own grave
Tomorrow
And sink deeper into it
With each question unanswered

12/10/99

I had so much fun writing this. Because it meant a few minutes of escape from dates and names. History was my most dreaded subject. It's such a torture to study! Explains why it was the first subject dropped from my list after SPM