Dear 2004...

It's been strange having 2003 sweep by just like that. As if it wasn't a proper year at all. The days went by so unconnected with either huge pockets of idle time or little flecks of unforgetable moments. If there was a year I could just forget about... it might be 2003, and yet if there was a year where my own self confidence and respect came back to me... it might be 2003.

Thinking back... 2003 felt like a twilight zone. Not having the usual academic schedule turned the months and dates slightly topsy turvy. Starting university in the last quarter of the year (after 13 years of Jan - Dec academic years) made the year feel rather skewed. Then there were the 9 months of sheer bumming around. Sure I picked up the violin, I learnt basic French, I brushed up my Mandarin and I studied for A Levels Econs in 5 months and turned up with an A which helped to repair my battered and bruised self esteem, but still where did time go? There were the occasional trips back to Singapore, BTC, interning at Motorola, Odacia... but still the year felt lifeless. Maybe time loses its essence when you're not in a routine. And there was of course the painful absence of Greg and learning to cope with moving on and starting a new life all over again (I've perhaps never cried more in my life than I did in 2003) There was the hesitations when the acceptances for both Brown and Imperial came. The tedious process of scholarship interviews. The griping fear I felt of going to Imperial and not knowing anyone and not knowing that I would come across the crazy bunch of Linsteadians that I am so fond of now. And now 2003 has left and I'm standing in between here and there.

But 2004, since we've only just met... maybe you'd like to consider some favours my way... before you really know what I'm like. Because maybe I don't want to be me anymore. Perhaps I need a change. To look at things from a different perspective. To learn from the stumbles and falls of 2003 and to grow on from the opportunities laid out in front of me.

So here's my 2004 wish list:
1. Maybe I've been too dependant on Greg for too long. Maybe I need to find friends I can open up to, and stop hiding everything inside of me.
2. Maybe I've been too idealistic, too romantic for my own good. Maybe I need to wake up and live in the real world.
3. Maybe I should start taking my course seriously and do all my tutorials on time.
4. Maybe I should stop being late and realise that punctuality and not procrastinating will not kill me.
5. Maybe I should try keeping in touch with friends and make time for people I normally push aside.
6. Maybe I need to be more discerning about the things I say and do and how they affect everyone around me.
7. Maybe I should keep that adventurous odac spirit with me... carpe diem!
8. Maybe I need my head to remember, but my heart to forget.

It's perhaps alot to ask from you, but I'm doing my part in asking alot from myself. Especially this year.