Last night I went through all my photo albums, trying to pick out photos to bring back to London with me. When I left in October, I arrogantly thought I could do without my photos and that the digital ones in my laptop would suffice... but I didn't know how empty and cold the walls of my room could feel without that little personal touch of home and the familiar faces of friends. A voice in my head has been nagging at me for taking friendships for granted and thinking that the memories in my head alone can keep me sane.

But photos say something. That maybe there will not be a future, but at least... at the very least... there was a past.

And as I flipped through the pages of my album, silly, funny and long forgotten thoughts came back to me...
like the first Ubin cycling where Luke, HX, Greg and Kin were balancing precariously in some formation and I grumbled about being the only girl...
like when we reached the summit of Ophir and left Kin down at basecamp with Miss Elaine and running down the mountain in the rain...
like Odac's rain God...
like our kayaking expedition and the jelly fish at the frog island
like YEC camp and the XVII candles
like stairclimbing at Bukit Timah hill and then arguing about BTC during the batch meeting
like the guys choosing to dress in gay red for the J1's inaug
like the scandolous Kinabalu expedition when Shan was flirting with me and Greg with Mel... to annoy the hell out of Ms Lim and Mr. Shah
like arguing with Greg halfway towards Laban Rata (I don't actually remember why)
like singing the Odac song at the summit of Kinabalu
like leaving Greg's huge bouquet in the room during prom and making him miffed
like midnight snacks with Charme and Sherene and pissing off the PRCs in the study room
like leaving our books to watch Friends on Mondays and Restless on Tuesdays without fail
like watching Charme play edelweiss on the guitar in her hippy blue top which she said made her look small

Like so many memories... not really shown in photos, but so easily evoked. And you can't help but smile or cry and try to console yourself that at least there was a past