Note to self:

Stop doing stupid things! Like leaving the windows wide open before going to sleep. Like singing ala LeAnn Rimes when you've got a sore throat. Like wasting time watching table football when you could be analysing circuits. Like talking to yourself although you really need a good talking to! Like living disillusionally.

Its such a painful irony everytime I have to stop myself and say, "no, he's my bestfriend" and then feel the tear rip further, feel the dagger slicing deeper and deeper. It hurts to see them raise their eyebrows as if I'm not telling the truth. I wish I wasn't... the truth has never been more painful. I wish there was a term for more than bestfriend but not boyfriend... but there isn't... I can't even say ex... because there's a finality and negativity to it which I can't bear to label you. I want to put the pieces away, hide the photos, the ring, the little things but its not easy... the watch you gave me, the keychain we exchanged, the profile on my handphone, the earrings I wear, the stuff toys on my bed... it'd take months to wipe it away... but I don't want to. I don't want to forget...