This is exactly why you should never allow yourself to succumb to a full fledged flu just before taking a one week holiday across snow, frost and ice! You'll end up half drugged like me, bundled in layers and layers until I resembled a dumpling, and coming back to the hostel to rest before it got properly dark (which was the only thing we could do anyway because it seems there isn't much of a night life in the Scandinavian region)

So it was 3 nights in Copenhagen. I swear all the medication I was taking was non-drowsy, but my time around Copenhagen seems abit hazy. Alot of nice buildings, statues, and my much awaited pilgramage to find The Little Mermaid. My daddy said she'd be abit of a dissapointment, and really she isn't much of a statue to wow and gasp at, but it's the whole fairy tale, the sorrow in her eyes as she gazes at the bay, the city she loves but can't be a part of, the love lost and the life she gave up. That is the magic of The Little Mermaid.

It was a pity the Tivoli is closed until April. My parents said it's quite a sight, but then again me and my motion sickness didn't miss much I guess. Otherwise Copenhagen is just a dear little fairy tale city with a very attractive royal family (actually, I'd think ANY royal family is attractive after having to live with the British royal family and their antics for the last one and a half years)

Malmo was a really pretty harbour city, my favourite kind really. With the cobbled streets and oldish squares, and lots of alleys. Goteborg after that was rather dissapointing. Probably because of the horrid misty weather that met us after 3 days of pure sunshine! The Maritime museum we visited though was really one of a kind. After climbing on and off and through so many types of boats, warships and submarines, I've really had my fill of boats for the rest of my life!

After Goteborg, the sunshine in Stockholm was really very much welcomed. What really amazed me was how the lakes stayed solidly frozen, and I mean COMPLETELY WHOLLY frozen and yet the sun was blazing! There was still plenty of snow all around, and coupled with the lovely harbour views and canals and alleys, Stockholm was truly the cherry on the icing (and there was plenty of it - ice I mean!)

So I'm finally back home, trying to rid myself of the last stubborn bits of this flu and remaining MSoc secretary work. Come on, come on, come on... let go!

PMS is hitting everyone hard. That's 'Post Malaysian Night Syndrome' for the uninitiated. Or for the committee, it's more of an empty nest feeling. From 30 e-mails a day on average, our inboxes are now almost empty. We all reach home way before dark these days. We haven't seen each other in days. Conversations between Dzam and me have degenarated to e-mails because I hadn't seen him in person since Tuesday! And while Ayish and I used to complain about M-nite problems everyday, it's now become sporadic emails and very hurried msn messages. I hadn't even seen Chien Liq or Nicole or Tao or Chris since elections, when we used to sit in the JCR everyday. And if it wasn't for last night's cast and crew dinner, I would have plunged myself right into Easter break without seeing anyone at all for 5 weeks!

But yesterday was a great dinner, with some of the best laughter and fun we've ever had! Good food, thanks to Chris, good jokes, thanks to Tao and an overall sense of - we did it together! The autographing of the posters was hilarious, what with Tao's www.yongTAOfoo.com and my "and to think we were gonna call it 'my ladoo is too sweet and other stories...' "

Finally handed over officially to the new committee after the dinner. The usual long meeting of do's and don'ts. Am feeling abit freer, but still need to sort out a few more last details.

Will be leaving for Denmark tomorrow morning for four days and then to Sweden for three days. Weather in the region looks set to turn me into an ice cube. Now if only I can get rid of this stupid cough before I go. By the way, antler's horn is a wonder fever cure!

Today marks the day I finally take the burdens off from my shoulders and pass it on to the new Malaysian Society Committee of 2004/05. Good luck, with it! And don't come running to us when it becomes too heavy to carry, which it surely will.

Perhaps we had expectations that were a little too high. Perhaps it was because we were just too exhausted after M-Nite to intervene too much (rightfully). Perhaps the system just doesn't work, and it's time to review a new system. It's with heavy hearts that we are passing on our successes after blood, sweat and toil and yet we're unconfident and quite admittedly scared as to how well the new batch will perform. The club is losing its confidence. There is a lot passion but there also needs to be rationality and a good amount of plain down-to-earth, common sense. There were just too many RONs voted today. And THAT is an indication of times that are shifting, of a dangerous unsure-ness in our members. An indication that many thought the candidates present were not capable enough and a slight dissapointment that popularity once again wins over silent hard work.

The best of luck to all of you. You will really need it!

And I so hope you don't end up in the state I am in - a fever that only seems to be getting worse, a horrid sorethroat, a very dry cough and 2 lab reports and an exam still to get over with!

And it's all over too soon... but it couldn't have been more perfect.

I may have been running around backstage and watching only snippets of the performance, but I can say without a doubt that 'Of Bunga Raya's and Coconuts' was a dream come true for this exhausted scriptwriter.

When the audience first broke out in laughter at Leslie's "Even my Perodua runs like a Ferrari" line, I was jumping up and down with joy backstage! (It's a scriptwriter's prerogative to be over-emotionally elated by such small things) And the night just got ever so much better from there!

From the bedazzling opening dance with UV lights and stunts that stunned the audience, to the show stealing aunties, to the comeback of the great chef Han and the impromptu lines that were added to my script by Chien Liq, to the hilarious Tai Chi scene, to the heart-rending flashbacks with the mini Ling and Ravi, to our new mascot - the papier mache chicken - that was thrown on stage, to the absolutely random dikir barat songs and YMCA addition, to the laugh-till-you-cry Bhangra fight scene, and the ever so fun Finale Dance.

By the time it came to curtain call, I had no words left to say. And you know that feeling when you've waited so long for something to happen and then it just rushes by so fast and slips through your fingers and you'll never get it back again. And then you think, but I don't want it to end. But it has, and another page has turned, another chapter's ended. It's back to being a full time student again. No more late nights and meetings and frenzied phone calls and money counting, although we should still have those good old creative team gossip sessions over mugs of hot coffee at Starbucks.

And I mean it when I say I'm incredibly honoured to have worked with a team who really played up to their best talents. Ayish, our producer, and her calm and controlled way of organising everyone and knowing exactly what she wanted to see on stage. Tao, our co-producer, and his own brand of humour who had everyone rolling off their seats with his signature Bhangra dance. Dzam, our director, and visionary who made the most effort to take care of our stars. Chien Liq, our creative consultant (and my partner-in-crime in creating this masterpiece), and his wacky ideas and for playing up brilliantly to my script. Nicole, our performance manager, and her absolutely stunning dances - the result of so much hard labour. Jia Hong, our props manager, and his very methodical and very organised way of handling everything. Cheng Chun, our co-props manager, and his calm, cool ways of responding to Jia Hong's methods and always keeping that smile on his face in times of stress. Chris, our darling tech manager, for handling all the technical things we couldn't deal with and trying so hard! And each and every one of the freshers who were such amazing and professional performers. Asking for rehearsals when we said they should take a break and not tire themselves out. Taking care of all the little details we couldn't handle. And remembering everything we said, about the cues and performing and smiling and... for first time performers, you all were just brilliant!

Alright, I'm zombified! I would ramble on further, but this is one exhausted script writer in need of ALOT of sleep.

It snowed very prettily this morning
As I stepped out of my door
Blurry eyed at 8.45am
Hair uncombed
Clothes pulled on in haste
Reciting demodulation steps under my breath
Zero-crossing
Coherant demodulators
Minimum Shift Keying
M-nite at the back of my mind
Like a stubborn tumour

And then there was snow

Coating the cars in blankets
Frosting the walkways
Lightly dusting the bushes and grass
And even the stone lions guarding the Queen's tower
were given a delicate topping of icing sugar
And the continuous flakes falling out of the sky
Creating random white patterns

on my black black coat

and on my black black hair
and my black black bag
And tingled my senses
A few infidel flakes
Slithering down the white of my uncovered throat

Snow makes me feel poetic
I wonder why...

I've never known stress like this.

A show to put on.

A compiler to build.

A Comp Architecture coursework to hand in.

A lab report to write.

A literature exam to study for.

All due in the same week. Two on Tuesday. Two on Friday.

Bad luck comes in Two's for me.

And now I'm asking myself if it's at all worth it.

Because I haven't had much or any sleep.

Because I haven't had more than one meal a day.

Because some people just don't like the way I do things.

Because I can't do everything and still have time for myself.

And because I wanna kick myself as there's no turning back!

Come back to the village with us on the 12th of March.  

ditto... 

I can't upload a coloured version, I don't know why...so here I present to you, Of Bunga Raya's and Coconuts! Come home to the village this Spring... 

Take the Test! 

Take the Test!  

I'm freezing my little butt off here. Lionel says my butt isn't altogether that little, but that's not the point. The point is that the temperature has decided to dive into the deep end of the freaking ice pool in mid February! Just 2 weeks ago I was so delighted to see daffodils blooming again to mark the beginning of spring... but NO! You cruel, cruel February winds had to crush their delicate little stalks and force them to crouch, pitifully, head down towards the ground.

What's wrong with you February? Can't you at least snow angelically to make up for it?

In accordance to Lionel's 'I will not celebrate Valentine's Day because it is a commercial and expensive affair' I stayed home on the 14th, and instead of a celebration of couple-hood, Lionel and I cooked a nice all-british beef steak dinner for the Flat 1 household. Tis a far better thing to do for others... as Cher would say on Clueless.

My schedule is in shambles. The pressure is on overcook. My msn nick says 'This is a slow and painful way to die' which has caused much alarm from quite a few MSoc people. If you can't guess why I'm slowly dying, take a look at the other committee members and see if you will notice our tempers getting hotter, see if you recognise the depravity of sleep, see if you can pick out our trembling fear...

Less than a month left. One coursework due 2 days before M-nite. One compiler to program 3 days after M-nite. One literature exam to sit for 5 days after M-nite. I am doomed! Really I am!

To quote Fidel:
"Brussels and mussels... hey, that rhymes!"

Without being my usual cynical self, one weekend is too much time to spend in Brussels. There has to be more to the mussels and waffles and chocolates! (No complaints about the mussels though... I had close to 2kgs worth!) The home to the EU and NATO headquarters is surprisingly a subtly charming little cobblestone and gothic inspired town. (And I mean gothic as in 16th century architecture, not gothic as in Ozzy Osbourne). Lionel and I wandered around (in rain, sleet and hail) for two days without a proper map (the only one we had was in Dutch!) and after about 5 hours of walking, we had covered almost every touristy thing there was to do, including paying the little peeing boy, Mannekin Pis, a visit... three times! By the end of Saturday we were such experts on Brussels, we were giving other European tourists directions to the little Bronze statue (who must be dreadfully cold now that they've taken away his little costume).

Brussels is so small, we managed to bump into Fidel, Raymond, Manda and Khairiah twice! At the same spot! Belgian restaurant owners around the Grand Plaza are also the freakiest thing, as we discovered. These guys beat the Petaling Street peddlers at being completely in your face hands down! It's a good thing the schweeeet mussels totally make up for it. Also I hear that the chocolates are the best part of Brussels. I wouldn't know. I still don't like chocolates. But the displays were really pretty. And the chocolate strawberries and waffles were yummilicious. The more I think of it, the more Brussels becomes symbolic of all the best aphrodisiacs.

Our 4 star hotel was probably part of the attraction too. The best part of it for Lionel was TV (I know it sounds jakun, but we live without a TV in London!) and being able to watch BBC and football highlights. The best part for me was being right in the centre of museums galore! But we didn't enter a single one. Nope! We were for most of the day, stuck at the Grand Plaza exploring every single road and alleyway until we could map out the city ourselves!

In fact we got so good at it, we walked all the way from the Grand Plaza back to the Eurostar train station pretty much by instinct. I wasn't all too happy walking about some dodgy areas and what looked like Edgware road slums, but you just can't get lost in Brussels. And we managed to get into the shade of the station before the weather turned crazy and started sleeting like mad! To add to the excitement, Lionel had to leave his camera at Brussels immigration... which thankfully Fidel managed to pick up since he was leaving 4 hours later than us.

Now we're just waiting for Fidel to bring the camera home.

I can't stand writing this presentation for tomorrow. Stupid group project!

Just passing by to say...

Happy Year of the Rooster! Every year got fish! 1000 success!

And that Wednesday's steamboat was a really tasty way to start the new year. I must say I hate all the work that's involved in preparing the steamboat, but watching everyone tuck in after a day of preparation is all good!

Back to my presentation slides. Off to Brussels tomorrow. CL has given me a mission to find the female Manneken Pis.

And just for the heck of it... a Confucius saying for the new KFC year...

Confucius, he say - Man who put rooster in freezer get stiff cock but woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock

If you were the all true engineer type, you might be tempted to plot a graph of my blogging frequency against time and notice a consistent lapse of blogdation during times of impending coursework doom-dates (I find deadlines much too gentle a word).

This time my excuse is the second year EEE Group Project. Do you know what I love about Group Projects? It's actually fun to be researching a topic completely out of your course (in my case - legislation on electronic privacy rights in the UK and US affecting e-commerce, workplace privacy and medical privacy). Do you know what else I love about Group Projects? Nothing else!

I celebrated the end of my group project by attending the SingSoc Chinese New Year dinner and making a tiramisu cake - which was devoured by my housemates and Fidel in a day and a half. My second attempt at making another tiramisu to replace the one the almost instantly vanished was rather poor. When they say too many cooks spoil the broth, the were soooo right! In this case, Lionel, Lu and Fidel taking turns to beat eggs and whip cream resulted in what looked and tasted like egg mayo. Luckily the chocolate cheese cake I made first turned out nicely (like a gigantic chocolate chip cookie in a mixing bowl!), but I'm never letting the guys help me make tiramisu again. Lu tried making meringues out of the leftover eggwhites. Even that strangely failed.

Did I mention I've finally put to rest the M-nite script? Save for a few touch-ups here and there, it's finished! Thus after putting so much blood and sweat into it, not to mention the many nights dreaming that M-nite had only a handful of an audience and I always turned up after the show (which stank!) was over... I think it's only fair that you grace this year's Imperial College Malaysian Night. Script-writing may seem like a trivial task, but script-writing for IC's Malaysian Night (which is a one of a kind!) isn't just about writing dialogue nor story-telling. The times I had to envision how one scene melts into another as smoothly as possible, entrances and exits which didn't clash, the settings and the ability for props to build the stage, using the talents we had to the maximum, trying to fit dances in, songs, stunts, not to mention trying out several witty jokes on people before I picked the best one to put in (thank God I live in a nut-house with a stand-up comedian wannabe... and the crazy boyfriend who wants to read what I'm writing over my shoulder!), I don't think I knew what I was dealing with when I first started!

So, the point of all this is - come for Malaysian Night! All of you! Wherever you are! And only Maggie gets a free ticket for bringing me a stubbornly hard-to-find textbook from India.

By the way, I chose Brussels!

Brussels or Paris for Valentine's weekend? Isn't it horrible when life throws such tough choices at you? Like this morning I had to choose between Maple and Pecan crunch or 5 other choices of cereal. 6 choices of cereal... that's way too much luxury for a university student trying to save up money to escape the cold for a Valentine's getaway. I should get back to writing up my project report. But I want to make a tiramisu cake. I think too much, and all at once... and it's not even worth burning my brain cells over more than half the things I'm thinking about.

By the way, thanks for taking the time to click a few radio buttons on the survey below. Believe me, you don't know how grateful I am (and I'll be even more grateful if you think you have the time to do the survey again because it was fun!). 7% of the year is way too much stress on one.

Hey guys... do this for me! Pleeeeease!

http://www.my3q.com/home2/55/xangelcharl/20145.phtml

7% of the year depends on it!

and by popular demand, Charlotte takes a break from her matronly duties to provide a few selected updates.

Why only a few selected ones? Because there are only a few to select from.

Pardon the corn. Back to the pop...

... geez, I embarrass even my own self!

My birthday came and went uneventfully. I still appreciate ALL you darlings (not you, xk) for the well wishes, and forgotten birthday cards and belated birthday presents *wink wink, nudge nudge*. But sincerely, I was really touched by all the sms-es from far and away. And although my mother called three times (I'm not sure why... to make sure I properly turn 22?) and my grandmother made me call her, and my aunty called to wish me and then to ask me why Lionel is not a practising Christian, you've got to love my eccentric family on my birthday. And not just because they give generous ang pows and birthday presents. (My mother sent me 2 cards... one of which was blank. Maybe I'm supposed to save it for next year).

I had an extremely quiet birthday by all accounts. Lionel, who wanted to take me out to Belgo's for garlic mussels (say "Mm-mm-mmmmm") was hotter than the radiator on Sunday, and his fever took a turn for the worse. So, guess who ended up playing Florence Nightingle to a sick, sick boy? My godmother came around with a H-U-G-E chocolate walnut cake to make up for it. No one touched the cake till Tuesday, and even though 8 of the remaining healthier Emperor's gate occupants took a big sinful slice each... there is still more than one third of a cake still sitting in the fridge. On my birthday itself, Tao bought a delightful PURE CHOCOLATE cake from Pattiserie Valerie for me... and sounded all the more delighted when I told him I don't eat chocolate. How very gallant of him to break his low-carb diet for my birthday. We had a small (well, quite small) birthday session with the MSoc Comm and juniors in the JCR, with quite a few "who's birthday is it???" hilarious moments. That night Lionel, Lu, Yue and I had a small feast in Bugis Street. Then we came home. I put Lionel to bed... and promptly fell asleep early. On my birthday! Yes, I am growing old!

So there... I've just spent my first week as a 22 year old nursing Lionel back to health. His fever has transited to flu to cold to cough and now to sore throat... and I swear one moment I'm trying to warm him up in an attempt to arrest his cold and the next moment I'm boiling loads of barley and herbs to cool him down and lower his temperature. It's a miracle I'm not sick myself yet. But pumping myself full of vitamin C seems to be doing the job.

Alright Charm, Sher... you've got your update. And just for kicks... guess what else I got for my birthday? A HUGE pair of pinkish, flourescent greenish, yellowish fluffy shoes! They're called silent slippers for walking silently around my room. I don't know why...

Happy Birthday to me!

Who's the owner of a new Tiffany & Co. ring? I am!

It's like one of those things girls always dream of owning, apart from the sexy jaguar and Cartier diamond and Jimmy Choo shoes!

Thank you, sweetie! *beams radiantly*

And just before I turn a year older tomorrow... here's something to remind me of what I am like today...

1.B A S I C Q U E S T I O NS

[my name is]: Charlotte (...when pronounced correctly. All other forms do not apply...)
[in the morning i am]: usually very wide awake... around 2am in the morning
[all i need]: is my mummy!
[love is]: giving when you don't have to give, being there when you don't have to be, seeing what others can't or don't want to see, telling them - now, everytime, forever...
[if i could see one person right now]: it would be my little sister, because she always gets so excited about giving me a birthday present and seeing my face when I unwrap the most ridiculous thing on earth, but she thinks its just perfect for me... that's what little sisters are for...
[im afraid of]: never being able to do the things I want to do
[i dream about]: life not putting me to the test so many times... it gets abit cliche, you know

2.H A V E Y O U E V E R . .

[pictured your crush naked]: I admit I am kinda loony... but not THAT kind of loony!
[actually seen ur crush naked?]: ditto the above
[been in love]: lets be reasonable...
[cried when someone died]: actually... no. I don't really know that many people who have popped off...
[drank alcohol]: more than you can imagine... and still not drunk yet! What am I doing wrong?


3.T H I S O R T H A T . .
[coke or pepsi]: pepsi... love that gassy feeling... as long as it isn't going down south
[flowers or candy]: flowers of course!
[tall or short]: what are we talking about? mike stands?

4. W I T H T H E O P P O S I T E S E X . . . . .
[what do u notice first?]: their smile
[last person u slow danced with]: i really can't remember... i'd be damned if it was David Tai during Asean Nite. Isn't that funny? I obviously don't dance alot.
[worst thing to do]: let someone down... wickedly...


5. W H O . . . . . . . . .
[makes u laugh the most?]: there's really only one standard answer for these questions... do you REALLY wanna hear it? Like 5 times?
[makes u laugh the easiest?]: ditto
[makes you smile]: ditto
[gives u a funny feeling]: ditto
[has a crush on u?]: oh... now this is interesting, but I think it was Greg that came up with the theory that I wouldn't have the slightest clue even if whoever had a crush on me came right up to my face and told me! Girls are oblivious. Guys stop griping.
[easiest to talk to]: myself

6. D O Y O U E V E R . .
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. u?]: I don't even have time to sit on the internet all day... and it's rather ridiculous to message Lionel when he's sitting in the same room...
[saved aol/aim conversations]: of course! You won't believe the amount of stuff I can blackmail Xiaokai with!

7. H A V E Y O U E V E R
[fallen for ur best friend]: eventually I guess it turned out like that...
[rejected someone]: nah!
[been cheated on] : nope!
[done something u regret]: aplenty! Got a few hours to spare?

8.W H O W A S T H E L A S T P E R S O N
[u talked to]: another one of those repetitive answers. Don't be ridiculous! you know the answer to this!
[hugged]: and this!
[sent sms]: Mum
[received sms]: Mum
[u laughed with]: and THIS!

9. D O Y O U
[color ur hair] : No. I kind of like it black. Real black!
[ever booted off in the chatroom]: no... I try not to get on people's nerves... lol! that's such an untruth! getting on people's nerves.... hahahaha
[habla espanol]: si senor, si!

10.H A V E Y O U/ /D O Y O U/ /A R E Y O U
[obsessive]: oh man, am I! And compulsive! You forgot compulsive!
[could u live without the computer?]: I sort of did, for 3 months. I should be awarded most tenacious ISE student of the year!
[what's your favorite foods?]: Japanese!
[whats ur favorite fruits?]: Longans... so sinfully sweet!
[like watching sunrises or sunset]: Sunrise... sunsets are a little depressing
[what hurts the most?]: whacking your little toe into the corner of the shower when you least expect it! Oh, that and ungratefulness...
[trust others way too easily?]: Trust no one... leads back to those X-File days...
[i want]: to know how to write a damn Literature essay properly!
[i wish]: another year of adventures... surprise me!
[i love]: you, and you and YOU and you and... no, not you!
[i miss]: awesome Char Kuay Teow!
[i fear]: hey... didn't we do this one already?
[i hear ]: Lionel snoring, or sniffling, or snoriffling
[i wonder]: how anyone can find this at all interesting


-----

This bored me half way through. I might delete it at some point in time... so don't get too cosy with this in case its gone in a few days

Everyone's back! Emperor's Gate is complete... with the added bonus of Amar, currently sitting in the kitchen trying to draw a Champagne bottle on Solid Works.

So much work. So little time. So much procrastinating.

Tis time I got a grip of myself and my sleeping habits. Tsk!

Another day, another destiny...
This never-ending road to Calvary...

Where did 2004 go to? What will 2005 bring?

I'm starting the year anxious and overexhausted. This is scary. Very scary.

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Anu's dinner on Thursday was a hoot! Judging from the after-taste, I'm not sure if mutton curry and a bottle of JD should ever mix. But our strange group mixture of Bbians and Amanians always will. And trust you guys to get the wrong girl wasted. Hilarious...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leaving on a jet plane tomorrow. With Amar. And Nadia. This will be interesting.

This is Bob. Flat 1's resident Christmas mascot. It was a Christmas present from Lionel and myself to our household... and doesn't Bob look charming, decorated with kitchen foil and paper stars and my earrings. It even has the honour of being flanked by Amar's Lord of the Rings statues and Fidel's fridge magnets from Prague are happily lining Bob's foot (feet?). Just in case you are wondering, all 3 trees are called Bob, because Lu says we shouldn't discriminate (and besides if we were to give them all different names, when we shift the basket around we won't be able to tell the left tree from the right tree)  

Last night was a great party... just a few old friends (all Bbians and just us 3 Sri Amanians and Ravi's sister), a bit of drinks, good music, and hilarious old school stories. That's the way reunions are meant to be... to celebrate Jere's coming of age... the last one of the gang.

Bbian reunions are bound to remain a model for us Amanians. The sincerity, the comraderie, the loyalty which has lasted since they were shorter than us girls, amazingly shines through between crude jokes and Amil promoting Adidas or his Rudolph Red single every 15 minutes, or Prashant and KC concocting the weirdest intellectual-wannabe stories (how does KC say particle accelerator 5 times and still not explain what it does??) or Sachpal trying to tickle Anu or Jere's climbing on the roof or Ravi trying to stop his sister from drinking... good times lah, good times.

Will have a sequel tonight. Am trying to finish my homework so that I can go there with a clear concience.

Easier said than done.

psst... Lionel's back home... Emperor's gate is only missing its one pinky, naggy, girly occupant now. Just 3 more days. The fridge and oven had better be cleaned out before that, do you hear me, Yi Shan??? And the stove too. Don't think I don't know you haven't done any cleaning for a month!

3 days left before I fly back to London. And I haven't completed a single assignment! I am sooooo digging a deep trench for myself. Buck up, Charl!

Instead I spent the whole day with Charme, just chatting in my house. We're such old, lazy pigs... we didn't even feel like leaving my comfy comfy room. Haha, but how good it is to have a good ol' girl talk with a good ol' friend. Sherene, how I wish you could have been there!!!

Leaving for Jere's birthday party soon. HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY JERE! Man... it's taken you this long to become a legitimate adult? Just have to look for my suit of armour to face the usual onslaught from Bhai, Ravi, Jere, Amil, etc. etc. Sigh...

From an estimate of 5000 deaths on Sunday, people all over the world are waking up to the news that the worldwide death toll stands at a staggering 23 thousand... and is rising yet.

My family is following the news closely, as we're still in shock at how close a call it was for us... and for our relatives. My grandparents who live in Penang, were fortunately only inconvenienced by power shortage. My aunty, in her flat along the Tanjung Bungah stretch, is well and helping with the relief aid workers at the churches and hospitals. On the evening when the news reached us, we were frantically calling another aunty, who's family was due to drive up to Penang from KL, that same day. By a stroke of luck, they postponed their beach holiday because my cousin's husband fell sick. My uncle who we believed to have been in Phuket at the time, finally rang us yesterday to say he didn't make the trip. And now that we've accounted for all that we can account for... there's only so much we can do as we watch the news on CNN or BBC and pray for them.

And I don't like the stand that is being taken. The fingers that are being pointed. The slam on the warning systems and weather stations and governments. How easy it is for affluent nations to talk and experts to give their advice when all that we can say, poor developing nations that we are, is that we have no money to buy all the latest meterological equipment they say we should have. We in the Indian Ocean region have never experienced anything like this before. In fact we have often comforted ourselves knowing we are out of the Ring of Fire. How could we prepare for what we do not know?

Perhaps it is a way of bringing the world together again, as we mourn with others in their grief. Perhaps... it's incredibly idealistic, but it's not the time to be cynical now.

News

... and the death toll is rising. 43 in Malaysia. Hundreds and thousands else where.

And I can only sit here and pray and thank God it didn't happen when my family was in Penang just 2 days ago. When we were on the exact same stretch of beach, jet skiing and playing with the sand, which was the part worst hit by the tidal wave. The few photos of a shattered Batu Ferringhi and Tanjung Bungah make me shiver because the image of my family being there enjoying the sun and sea is still so fresh in my mind.

His mercies are boundless...

News

On this day is born to you a Saviour... Gloria in Excelsis Deo

Christmas is getting quieter and quieter every year. As my cousins get married off, one by one... the festive cheer is dying down. And now, there aren't anymore Christmas eve gatherings. There's no one around.

So we had a lovely little Christmas dinner all to ourselves, prepared by the three of us. Then we put up the Christmas tree, opened presents and went to sleep.

This morning Daddy drove us to a little church in Sungai Buloh (because he said it would be nice to support little fledgling churches on Christmas day... and not get stuck in the massive hot, noisy and sweaty crowd at our usual churches). I suppose I survived the service with a few cynical thoughts running through my head. But that happens when I'm not in a Catholic church. And since it was Christmas, I told myself to shut up.

Got a christmas present from Greg - a surprise email this morning. Probably one of the better highlights of my day. Man, I still miss the way we used to talk about Christmas and church and everything...

Had the usual family lunch at my aunt's house. Albeit with a much smaller family. As I said before, no one is around. My nephew is adorable. There will be more of them tonight at my uncle's house. The little kids. Maybe I'll try to be nice for Christmas. But I only like the ones that don't scream...

I'm tired. Christmas isn't what it used to be. If I had a Christmas wish list... I'd want to have
1. Lionel with me and not anybody else for Christmas
2. Be back in cosy Emperor's Gate
3. Have Mum roast a huge chicken with stuffing and cranberry sauce for family dinner
4. All my cousins back for Christmas
5. My lost CD collection returned to me

Merry Christmas!

Back from Penang, the sun, sea and surf (and the toxic Penang waters, it's a biological hazard in there!). Tried to finish 2 courseworks and a Literature text. Failed miserably. Instead went parasailing, jet skiing and even rode a Banana boat. Am still not cured of sea sickness.

My sleep cycle is wrecked. I wanna go back to my snuggly bed in Emperor's Gate and hibernate for the winter. Oh man... who am I kidding... I don't want MY bed, I want Lionel's bed cos the duvet is softer and the duck-down pillow is nicer to hug.

Merry Christmas Eve!!

home...

home home home...
home home...

Leaving for the airport on less than 20 minutes. There's not much anticipation about going home this time, a rather nonchalent feeling. I've done this before... it can't be as bad as the last time I went home for winter break. *Especially* the last time.

There will be no wrongs to right this time. No tears to shed. No promises to make. No hopes to be shattered.

Just me, two weeks, and 5 unfinished courseworks.

Don't want to have to think of Emperor's Gate - all lonely and quiet. It's not used to this kind of silence! But it will just have to go into hibernation and spring back anew in the spring term (literally)

And just as a side note...

... friendster is getting too freaky for me. If the theories of peer pressure applied to me, I am actually reaching spinsterhood while others are making plans to have a second child and I should be desperately plotting to get a ring on my finger (heaven knows why... they irritate my skin anyway...). When you chance upon 3 married friends (with an average age of 22) in less than 10 minutes on friendster... it starts to alarm you. And it's no less alarming when friends you speak to insist on getting married before they reach their mid-twenties. What ever for? My boyfriend helps me with laundry every week now. Matrimonial vows will probably reduce laundry rates to 0.026%. It's the gospel truth! And somewhere in the small print of the pre-nupt there's a clause which says he will be tone-deaf to your whining and will only buy you flowers when he's forgotten your birthday.

Maybe I should call my mum tomorrow and tell her so-and-so is married... and freak her out for the fun of it. We just love annoying each other, me and my mum. That's why God made us such thick-skinned, hoity-toity, in-your-face women... who still expect our men to help us with laundry.

Now I know why people say Christmas is the loneliest time of the year...

After the tinsel stops glittering, and the lights stop blinking, and you begin to see past the fancy deco... you can really feel completely alone, especially when the only person you are used to depending on every day isn't here... but all the way in New York! Sometimes all it takes is one person to disappear from your daily life, and you cease the ability to function normally.

I can't wait for these 3 weeks to end...

Oh the pinkiness...

If you didn't see this coming... I don't know what to say.

All the cotton candy pinkiness and soft marshmallow fluff of the Christmas season must be kicking in.

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We went to Hamleys today, Lu, Lionel and I. If you don't count having to wait at the doors as batches of customers were let in every 10 minutes (due to security reasons), Hamleys is like a Wonderland for any age. Lu and Lionel got to ogle at die cast models, F1 cars and miniatures... while I had to be pulled away from the Barbie doll section (read deprived childhood - I only owned 2 Barbie dolls, of which my sister decapitated both). As we were actually at Hamleys on a mission (to find presents for Lionel's little niece and nephew) we scoured every floor for suitable toys (I suspect it was more out of wanting to be little kids ourselves and playing with everything rather than searching for gifts). We eventually ended up at the Bear Factory, where I got to make 2 teddy bears and put hearts in each of them. I really wanted to make a labrador puppy, but neither Lu nor Lionel thought it looked cute enough... and personally I believe no puppy can be cuter than Dewy! He'd be really jealous of a new puppy, I'm quite sure of that!

Both the Emperor's Gate households had dinner at Garfunkels later courtesy of Lu's dad. Thank you, uncle! Amar had to miss it due to his unfortunate timing of being on a plane heading back to Malaysia. (Btw, Amar, a slice of your Panetone is still sitting in the kitchen... and your Geisha and carrot videos are spreading around the Emperor's Gate network like wild fire).

And now that I'm done with this splurge of pink, it's back to lab reports...

It's 3am in the morning and I just have to blog this! Lionel's all curled up under the snuggly duvet and tightly clutching the big fat duck feather pillow I bought him last term and snoring like a little pig. He looks so blissful, and so huggable! But I'm not supposed to wake him up. Darn!

Chien Liq treated Lionel, Fidel and I to coffee today. Just a good old chat with friends (both new and old) over warm mugs of Chocolate Mint Milk, Eggnog and Gingerbread. Sometimes its just nice to get a bunch of people who hardly have anything in common and just laugh like old friends. Thanks for the treat... hope it made you feel a leeetle bit better, if at all.

I managed to make it for the last bit of the Emmanuel carol service today. Rushed into the darkened MDH after German and surprisingly found a seat. After I'd pulled myself together from the cold outside, to my surprise I found MSoc and Singsoc people seated all around me. And right in front of me was in fact Amar (falling asleep) and Jia Hong. In fact the carol service was packed with more Asians than Caucasians... makes you wonder... a little.

The singing was nice as always. I would have liked to have been at the whole service, but well, no one told me I missed anything. In fact rather the opposite. And I suppose all was well... I'm always apprehensive about sermons and speakers. And I do miss the odd Christmas Carol. With my head filled with C++ and Motor Speed Controls, it's hard to feel the Christmas spirit.

Anyhow, I've finally drawn a resistor through VCL and Grace will be here in less than 10 hours. All will be well with the world. Peace on earth, good will to men.

Of Castles and Raya Dinners, Programming and Christmas Cookies... Bunga Rayas and Coconuts...

When you are rushing a project that could pull your grades down to the abyss of doom, the days just seem to fly by while you desperately try to cling on to them and kick yourself for not having started earlier and instead wasted way too much time unnecessarily on other little things (MSoc for instance!)

So maybe I had the last 4 days to catch up on ALOT of undone programming. But who can think of C++ when you are travelling down to Canterbury with a busload of Singaporeans? Canterbury of the famed Canterbury Tales and THE Canterbury Cathedral is a picturesque town (although I suspect that is only the touristy centre of it). The Cathedral is the numero uno factor for this surviving little town, apart from the Roman wall that surrounds it... and well, I'm usually the last person to criticise anything old and ready of restoration... but well, nothing particularly interesting about this Cathedral. I liked the St. Nicholas parade better. Now, that's something you don't see in London everyday! The one canal we spotted did give it a little bit of old Elizabethan flavour, otherwise Canterbury is something I'd just like to remember as a story book town.

After some Cornish pastries and the unfortunate incident of my Waterstone balloon (the one that flew away), we got back on the bus and headed for Dover. When we arrived at 3pm, the daylight was beginning to dim and that definitely made Dover castle look all the more authentic as the medieval castle it was meant to be. I was no doubt terrified of exploring the dark and creepy passage ways and rooms in the castle while Lionel dragged me up and down stair cases and through dark galleries and who knows what. By 4pm the sun had pretty much almost set and as much as I wanted to see the white cliffs, I wanted to get out of the castle first! We managed to get a tiny glimpse of the white cliffs after following Kai Leng's lead and climbing up and around the castle grounds. Finally the quest to discover what that Dover Beach poem we did in SPM was all about was revealed... in a Pasir Panjang modern port scene. Dammit!

Otherwise, the day trip was a great escape from the usual weekend life. I rushed with Lionel in tow to the MSoc Hari Raya dinner upon arriving back at Imperial at 7.30pm. Luckily by the time we arrived they had barely started dishing out any food at all. I can't say much for the food. There were some mix ups and abit of committee intervention was required, but nevertheless - you always get happy faces when you put a huge bunch of Malaysians and food together!

Amar was also at the Raya dinner, having just arrived in London to be our Mary Poppins for one week. And while he's basking in the Christmas atmosphere, he made the most of the Sainsbury's baking aisle and thus we have a few tupperwares of pecan butter cookies. He's planning to go shopping for Christmas deco for the emperor's gate household. And as a gift to the household, we now have a new bottle of Molton Brown Thai Vert handwash. Just what we need Amar... branded hand soap! Don't forget the throw rug, Lionel and I asked for!

And as the term draws to a close I am frantically trying to finish the M-Nite script. Once I have finished it and assured myself that it will not be too much of a ridiculous laughing stock, I will insist that every friend and foe who is in the UK attend this Malaysian Night. How can you not be tempted to watch an original play entitled: Of Bunga Rayas and Coconuts? Hilarious, no? Ah, well as I discovered tonight, I certainly do very well cracking myself up... especially when no one else finds me the least bit funny!

Viewership of this blog has probably dropped tremendously... save for the few attacks on Xiao Kai in the tag board which never seem to cease.

I'm struggling to familiarise myself with Borland C++ GUI. I know I shouldn't have left it till this late, but I was still relying on my safety net of having programmed C++ for 2 years back in JC, but it's been more than 2 years since I coded my last C++ program.

And instead of finishing my programming project, (which I'm highly tempted to throw if it wasn't for my ambitiousness to score perfect first classes), I've been working my ass off on the MSoc membership card. It sounds trivial, but in reality my entire week was devoted to designing, printing and laminating 200 plus little cards. There Chris and I were on Tuesday, fiddling with Photoshop from 6pm till midnight, trying to salvage what we could of our lost design, revamping the old design, building the back of the card from scratch. Then on Wednesday from 6pm till 8pm, I sat with Lionel in the SAF comp labs, arduously watching each of the 24 pages struggle to be printed every 5 minutes! And from 8 till 9pm I practically broke my back bending over the cutter in the Library, slicing 200 little pieces of paper. Then on Thursday, not much was heeded of my call for help (although I greatly appreciated the help in pasting all the photos - which was done in less than an hour! See what happens when we work together??!!). But as one by one everyone left for their own afternoon activities... I was left to slice another 200 little cards (the back of the card this time) and then headed home to paste, trim and laminate them... card by card... thanks to SingSoc's little laminating machine (I didn't fancy staying in the EEE stores room until late, laminating cards). My housemates and I worked diligently until we laminated the final card at midnight with a sigh of joy and relief!

I really don't mind doing all this work. I was born with an irresistable need to do things for others. But is it just me, or am I the only one who wants to give it my best? I would once in awhile like to be asked if I need help, rather than rally for support everytime.

I'm feeling pretty much broken in spirit. I'm taking leave till end of the term. I need some time to myself and my struggling studies. If even XQ notices that I'm skipping Digital lectures, its high time I bucked up!

It's that time of the year again... to drag a bus-load (make that 2) of Malaysians up to Nottingham for 'the Games', make sure everyone gets a sandwich and a drink, ensure that all the players are where they should be at the right time, and then hit the town (but returning in time to cheer which ever team gets into the finals... I predicted Basketball and I was right!)
So after meeting up with Amar, who's positively haggard... what have you done to yourself, man?... Lionel and I left Notts Uni to do the tourist thing. I called Jilly who had some trouble giving me directions to town and to Nottingham Castle as she said it would be quite complicated. Guess what, Jilly? I got on Rainbow 5, just as you said, and got out when I saw the 'Robin Hood Tales' and lo and behold, what was right in front of me? Nottingham Castle! (Which was quite a dissapointment... I mean how many times can you try to burn and destroy a castle?)
After awhile we got tired of the whole tourist thing (especially when we started to see Malaysians with cameras at every turn), and we came to the conclusion that Robin Hood was overused. It wasn't just the 'Robin Hood Tales', 'Friar Tuckers' and 'Robin Hood' estate agency... it was the Robin Hood Knights Tandoori Restaurant that did it! And Adrian swears there is a Roo Bee Hoo Chinese Take-away in Notts too! I'll check with Jilly on that one!
Lionel and I eventually made our way to the Christmas markets (quite reminiscent of the markets in Austria and Germany) but after a really good pub lunch (London pubs completely outdone in this case!) the shopping bug got the better of us (oh alright, just me) and I returned to Notts Uni just in time to support Basketball finals with a new coat and a new pair of boots. Lionel and I unfortunately got off the bus at the wrong stop (the Lakeside) and thus walked the entire length of Notts Uni back to the sports centre in the dark. Its times like these you just have to love the bright London lights!
Well, IC MSoc did a great job at the Games. We didn't lose that many first rounds. *grin* and we were all so good and got on the buses on time! And didn't give Charlotte a headache, I say cheers to all of you!

And just for overkill I'm going to post 2 blogs in 1 hour. Don't you just love my sudden spurts of narcissistic information?

I'm beginning to find myself too annoying anyway. There's something seriously wrong when your own voice annoys you. Oh hell... who else have I been annoying?

I've been fervantly praying for more compassion. Some weeks it works, some weeks I just bloody want to piss everyone off. I'm starting to think I suffer from multiple personality disorder. Coupled with postponing homework disorder and falling asleep in lectures disorder (but at least I go for all my lectures... digital doesn't count).

Last Friday was Chris's surprise birthday party. They tried their darndest to get him wasted, they did! But, for all it was worth, Chris was still sober enough to talk to me about Membership Cards at the end of the night! You go, Chris!

I'm still working hard on the M-Nite script (practically trying to breathe life into it). What is scary is that after more than 6 months of working on it, what if the story flops? It's silly enough as it is. The gags and the witt jokes cover up a little, but it won't save it from drowning. I really hope Ayish and Dzam have more optimism with it than I have. CL too.

Going to watch Pagoda Street (a Singapore Playhouse London production) tonight. Hopefully an asian muscial will inspire me to be the astounding M-nite playwright I am trying so hard to be. I want to write a musical next time, dammit. (mumbles to ambitious self to shut up)

This Saturday I will be in Nottingham, hopefully exploring Nottingham town and NOT waiting at the sidelines to watch our teams trash other Malaysian teams (which is a given). I promise to come back in time to support the teams that do get into the finals, though.

Week after that, I'm going to Canterbury and Dover. It's nice to get out of London and finally see the white cliffs of Dover.

And 2 weeks after that Lionel will be in New York, and I will be home!

That's enough spam for another 2 weeks, I should think! Cheers!

Sometimes it's hard to be a proud Malaysian, particularly when your own politicians, (nay, Deputy Prime Minister) make comments that allow for the entire world to point fingers at my country and laugh out loud.

Take a moment to read Najib: NS needed because schools failed in integration from The Star, and then ask how an entire government can admit that their school systems have failed to integrate the young and teach them to mix without care of race, religion or background... and yet, they do nothing about the root of the problem.

Yes, we cannot change the system of having vernacular schools. But why implement NS when most young Malaysians have left school? If it is to be a 3 month 'OBS camp', why is it not implemented while we're still in school and can make the best out of it?

They don't try and change us when we're still in our formative years. When we're young and impressionable 13 or 14 year olds. Instead they try and change us when we're 17 or 18. When we're rebellious and no longer want to be labelled as children. When some of us are already working full time, married and worse still are already parents!

This isn't a problem of patriotism. This is a real social problem which exists in our society, whereby we don't tackle the root of the problem. Instead we try to fix what is broken, and at the same time allow the rest to continue breaking, so we can fix it.

Shame on you!

Ladida...

Here's to a lovely autumn day. Azure blue skies with nary a cloud. Bloody 6 degrees weather. And shivering icey fingers (thank goodness I never went to medical school... my patients would have died of shock from cold fingers!)

We're all at home awaiting the arrival of Amar. Except for Lionel. He's in Nottingham playing volleyball and probably grumbling about it.

So what's been up since all hallow's eve? It's hard to recall. The last 2 weeks went by in a flash, and now its the weekend again. In short this is how the last 2 weeks probably went (probably, because my mind is in quite a blur, wreck by committee dissentions and piling up homework and unvisited relatives)

• Started first round of M-nite auditions. 4 hours of listening to auditionees (whilst trying to film them... smile, you're on Candid Camera!) and I'm sick of my own script. Wrote a whole new scene in one night for the second round of auditions. I'm starting to really like Leslie's character, even if he is the baddie. Finalised the main cast yesterday and e-mailed all the final auditionees this morning. I hate dissapointing people, because I didn't get a role in the main cast myself last year and it was downright annoying to find out people who simply couldn't act had gotten a part (and I don't mean any of my comm members - I thought you guys were brilliant). Nevertheless, our final cast has a damn load of talent. I'm now trying to fit in supporting cast members, because we just can't waste all that lovely lovely talent!
• Pumped up the inflatable sofa. Very comfy for watching movies on, and I suppose Amar can use it as a bed when he comes down to London. Got an idea to fill it up with water so it becomes a water sofa bed... but decided not to, in case Yi Shan decides to rear little tropical fish in it, which he really thinks is a brilliant idea!
• Met up with Michelle and Andrew who were down from Sheffield for the weekend. Ying came along too and was surprisingly the earliest. I kept a look out for pink flying pigs. We had crepes at the Creparie and then bummed around in my room for awhile. Ah... I feel like I've done my bit with keeping up with old friends.
• Went round to Kristina's for a little potluck dinner together with all the Emperor's gate people. German pancakes and salad, roast duck and chicken wings with chilli char siew sauce and not forgetting Marvin and Jac's wine... cannot imagine a more international feast. Quite a merry night just chatting away and listening to renditions from Kristina and Marvin (who was attacked by a "No, hombre, no" speech impediment).
• Finished reading half of Dorian Gray. Fell asleep while reading it last night. Lionel claims I was talking in my sleep. Don't like the idea of self portraits anymore.

And so that pretty much rounds up my boring two weeks. I'm trying to ignore my homework but I hear Laplace Transforms calling. Integrating e^x^2 is interestingly quite a challenge still even though Ying says it can be done. I need to work on double integrals.

More Hallowe'en photos...  

Jac the little witch, carefully slices her pumpkin 

Lu scopes out the pumpkin's innards 

Some scary shit 

Mr Spock pays a halloween visit 

This is what science students do for thrills... toss some methylated spirit on a lit candle and watch flames burst and sparkle inside a pumpkin!  

Can hardly tell Fidel apart from the pumpkins!  

A family photo! 

pumpkins keeping watch at the window... doesn't Cartman look absolutely cheerful!  

How to carve a Hallowe'en pumpkin - Step 1: Choose a nice, round, preferably orange, pumpkin... like this one!

Step 2: Draw a hideous design... or dotted lines for the lobotomy operation

Step 3: Carefully carve out its eyes, nose, mouth, pimples, warts etc.

And voila: You have your very own cute jack-o-lantern. This one was christened Cartman!

Yesterday was one of those, 'lets go out and walk about London' Saturdays. The weather was so tempting. Blue skies, sunshine, warm weather (and by warm I mean 15 degrees). You'd be damned to stay indoors (especially after 1 week of drizzly, gloomy weather).

So, thanks to the blasted suspensions on the circle & district line, we walked from St. Pauls (which is dissapointingly being renovated, and on top of that there is an entrance fee of 6 pounds... to see a church? Why??) to Tate Modern, across the Thames. Tate is pretty depressing, situated inside a dismally lit old power station. But the art is fantastic... not my favourite (except for the surrealists and andy warhol) but very impressive.

After about 2 hours of trying to make sense of all that modern art, we headed to Covent Garden, hoping to eat at Wagamama (2 for 1!!) but ended up munching on jacket potatoes and wandering around my favourite magical square in London, before taking the bus to High Stree Kent to meet the rest at the Wagamama there (2 for 1!!).

Upon reaching home, we realised Marvin had brought a visitor - Kristina!!! My ex-room mate! Thus Kristina joined us for the highlight of the evening - Pumpkin Carving! The household upstairs got 4 pumpkins, while we got 2... one of which has been christened Cartman! After carving all the pumpkins, we lit them up with candles, turned off the lights... and soon they looked like some tourist attraction, with cameras clicking everywhere and even tripods appeared! We then decided to arrange them on the staircase, for better effect, and finally at the witching hour we took them outside for a group photo (tripods and all).

Happy Hallowe'en!!!

The latest batch of Gamuda Scholars with 3 of us old foggies... this was taken some time ago in August... I'm so behind in my photos

And Charlotte returns...

... after a month's hiatus, 3 weeks of school, 2 weeks of classes, uncountless hours of MSoc and even more uncountable hours of NO SLEEP!

Thank heavens for tomorrow's Commemoration Day holiday (who knows who or what exactly they are commemorating as long as they order us to take a break from 9am labs!).

Oh well, here's a brief update of what I've been messing around with.

(Oh alright... I kid you... I can't remember a time when I've EVER been brief!)

Chronologically...
Arrived in hot, Hot, HOT London (after effects of sweltering summer...)
Moved in to my lovely flat (christened Emperor's Gate for obvious reasons!)
Spent at least 2 days unpacking, moving about boxes, searching for missing stuff (fluffy bedroom slippers and 'pink' scarves) and cleaning house (besides house training Yi Shan)...
My laptop got stolen from my own room within 2 days of moving in. Appreciated the police coming down to my flat and dusting for fingerprints, all CSI-like, but would still appreciate the damn thief returning my laptop and ALL my CDs (sobs... my patiently accumulated Tori Amos Collection, my Jewel albums, and all my new Third Day and City on a Hill CDs... bah!)
Welcomed a MSoc Comm meeting in my house, with the promise of Krispy Kremes from Chien Liq... of which I didn't get to eat a single one... sigh...
Ran around in the cold English rain (it's like a christening... a sign that you are once again reborn into the dreary English weather) and subsequently started the infection of the Fresher's Flu!
Set up a rather gawdy booth for Fresher's fair (which attracted more than its fair share of attention... but for the right reasons!) with only half of my wits with my due to the Flu, not to mention bodily fluid which had a mind of their own, and a voice that disappeared after a bout of being overly hyper...
Started lectures in a better frame of mind (had passed on the Flu to others by then...). Love my lecturers this term (save for the balding guy teaching us Digital... who IS he? I think I lost track of his name, and what ever he was teaching, in that first lecture when I fell asleep 15 minutes into it... and YES, it was the first lecture of the term... boy do I have a wonderful track record). My Statistics lecturer has some ISSUES! Of which she proceeds to rant about in class, but it does make probability and Exponential Distributions so much more interesting when she is telling us her problems with calling customer service for her cable plan (of which she is trying to obtain their quality testing stastistics)... and you KNOW you've got a real interesting quirk teaching you Stats when she proffesses to adore Laplace! My math lecturer (Jean-Luc) on the other hand is a Canadian Hobbit! It's quite an achievement for him to reach the top of the blackboard in room 407a! And we no longer QED our proofs... instead we BYU them, which translates to Bob's Your Uncle... go figure! We've got George again for Discrete Math (and I DO NOT gush about George! I really DO NOT!) and yeah, that wasn't a slight of the eye. I have 3 Math modules this term! Really sounds like I'm in the wrong course!
Followed up Fresher's fair with Freshers Meet, and was dragged around South Kensington by 7 or 8 freshers in search of Krispy Kreme napkins, low price Sainsbury's spaghetti and a photo of the dinosaur at the Natural History Museum. We need to rethink these scavenger hunts and the effects on aging seniors next time!
Next up - Pasar Malam! 3 days standing in the bitter cold and pouring rain (drama mama...) selling sarongs, batik, henna tattoos (i'm a certified henna tattoo artist now!), beaded bracelets, teh tarik and satay... but it was fantastic fun! Worth every back breaking minute of it! I can now gurantee that a sarong shawl is all you need to stay warm in 11 degrees weather... that and an infinite amount of adrenaline!
On the side, I'm taking Literature again... and I have the most artsy and faery-like Lit lecturer. She seems almost ethreal at times, and sticks out like a green alien in Imperial (we can be such snobby scientists...). Well it's Hardy, Conrad and Wilde for the next few weeks... whoopee! I'm being forced to READ!
I am also now in the habit of taking German classes on Thursday evenings. Guten ja? Amar you'd be so at home in my German class!


I think I've had enough of typing. I'm going to go look for the boys, who are glued to their computers somewhere around the house.

It's back to the cold, the fog and the damp...

At precisely 0900 hours I will be departing from KLIA, hopefully with all my luggage AND excess luggage.

Just needed to tell you that.

Friendster is getting weirder and weirder...

These are the 10 latest popular searches on my network... why???
one night stand (This is you, Sachpal, isn't it?)
zodiac love match (Look, it doesn't matter if you love a gemini or an aquarius, there's only ONE species of men...)
teeth whitening (make your teeth look whiter - get a tan)
hip hop dance moves (oh, so they write them down and publish them online these days, huh?)
louis vuitton bags (I've a few liz claiborne ones I wouldn't mind trading in)
kissing techniques (WHO in my network has been searching this? Almost as bad as Sachpal! btw, it's all about tongue...)
new hair styles (Maybe I should take a look at this too)
depression help (And counselling goes virtual too!)
college term papers (cheating isn't going to be THAT easy)
discount laptops (might as well buy a cheap lap warmer)

I'm such a cynic today. This is not good!

Things I want to bring back to London...

1. My piano
2. My baby classical guitar (there's this song that's writing itself in my head... and I'll have to put it on hold until I can buy a cheap 30 pound Argos guitar!)
3. My assortment of pillows and cushions
4. All my clothes
5. My entire book shelf
6. My little sister
7. All my photo albums

... but I can't

I don't think I'll be touching a piano for a few months. I'm going to miss my beautiful Weinbach. And it's going to miss me...

I've learnt today...

That little niggling dreams can be weaved into reality. What if you hadn't listened to the little voice inside your head tell you that you can make a camp for 50 freshers from all over Malaysia happen? There wouldn't be a bunch of freshers gathering at Midvalley today, even before they venture over to the green (grey?) pastures of London.

That my days as a young, naive fresher are over. That suddenly it's dawned upon me that I'm a senior. That I've grown older, younger, wiser and dumber all at once.

That I miss London, I want to go back. That my time here is up. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Once you go away, coming home is never the same. Home isn't home anymore. But I've outstayed the hols, and I have to go back, even though my little sister is in tears because she doesn't want to be left at home alone.

That only in your last week of holidays do you think - "Gosh, I won't step into midvalley for another 3 months" or "This is the last plate of GOOD (unadulterated) curry laksa I'll eat in awhile"

That it's nice to have nice seniors. A good nice wholesome bunch of EEE seniors. (psst... Happy Birthday again, Andrew!). Besides learning that you can get lost in Jacob's house and it takes sometime to find out where the toilet is in the washroom when there's a choice of 4 to 5 doors!

That I want Lionel to come back to I can whine, grumble, complain and pout like the spoilt 3 year old inside of me... and so I can listen to him too...

That my haircut isn't so bad after all. Once it grows... it looks even better than the right side of a baboon!

The ISE tutor and study groups have been rearranged!!!

And for not studying as hard as I should have in 1st year, I have now been bestowed with a tutorial group I utterly despise! (Alright there isn't any real connection between the studying and the tutorial group arrangements... but I'm just trying to find an excuse to rant!)

It's a good thing tutorial groups are only once a fortnight... but to my utter horror, they've changed my study and lab group to group A! Oh woe! I'm now tearfully detached from my new found ISE buddies, and instead I get the MCPs!!! Only consolation is that Vidu is with me (how will we poor girls survive on MCP grounds?) I have to learn to make more friends, but how will I survive labs without being able to bother Kunal with questions all the time?

Mrs Dalloway is on my Literature reading list. After 4 pages I'm finding it hard to read. Don't get me wrong, it's not unreadable, I actually like Virginia Woolf's style of writing. It's just the way its starting out, its like reading into my future. A prediction of what my life could be.

It's depressing when literature begins to mock your own life. Your own turmolt and confusion. Your emotional security. Shaking your sense of unsureness. Making you question whether you made the right practical choice to stay in your little practical world and be happy.

*Later edit*

I'm on to page 10 now. Taking a deep breath and trying to detach myself from the story... although that's not the right way to read books, is it?

My aunty says when you leave a good hairdresser you should look like you need to wear a paper bag over your head for a week, and after that emerge like a beautiful butterfly. Somehow I don't think a paper bag is going to help this natural disaster. I'm not even sure if my head can fit in a paper bag. Prepare to be shocked, VERY shocked, honey! But I did as I promised. I didn't cut it too short nor shave bald. Anyway I always hate my haircut initially. Maybe I'll learn to like it in a few months time...

Busy days again...

Shopped for japanese food stuff at Jaya Jusco today, before meeting Ying, Jilly and Maggie for lunch, which took approximately 45 minutes to commence (It took me 5 minutes to think of the word 'commence'. I swear my England is getting less less powderful). Nicole picked me up from 1 Utama to go cloth shopping at Jalan Masjid India. Too many colours, designs, textures... we eventually settled for simple cloth from Kamdar. If only we knew what we were really doing, but with an unsettled script and storyline, we're pretty much like blind mice!

Lionel's on his way to Melbourne now. It's funny how the idea of him being thousands of kilometres away instead of 350 kilometres away is more unbearable. Anyway, Melbourne isn't my idea of a holiday. Not when Melbourne Uni, Monash and RMIT practically make up a mini Malaysian kampung right in the heart of Melbourne. Adelaide's not better, what with Ravi and Zack being there.

My sister spilt blueberry syrup on Dewy today. She's now banned from playing with him for a whole day. Dewy is my stuffed toy puppy, by the way.

I'm back to blogging random nonsense. Doesn't this feel like the old me?

Oh and I'm starting on Mrs. Dalloway for my Literature module. It's not really like the old me to start on homework 3 weeks before term begins!

"Oh, it seems like I can finally rest my head on something real... I love the way that feels..."
And so the blog is once again resurrected and brought to life with newly rejuvenated vigour! 2 weeks filled with so many mountains and valleys I don't know where to start my story-telling (sorry, I'm not as good a story teller as Chien Liq) nevertheless, here goes:

Friday (day before fresher's camp)Clearly, a very underestimated day. Only on the day before the camp does the projector decide not to work and I had to spend an entire afternoon getting to know Jalan Ampang and the whole of KL very well. Got back home at nearly 8pm, close to tears, tired and hungry and very short tempered. I'm sorry if i snapped at any of you lovely people who were trying to tempt me out to Murnis, but when one is sleep deprived, frustrated and at the end of their rope it's a really bad move to call their blood and swear a "stupid camp"! Anyway, happy belated birthday captain! I'm sorry for being so bitchy. But there's no better mood to be in when you haven't taken a bath at 11pm at night and 3 Imperial College undergrads (one engineer, one physician and one mathematician) can't seem to make a projector work!
Saturday (Day 1 of fresher's camp)The all too efficient uber-secretary was actually the last senior to arrive at KL Sentral, due to last minute projector testings (which didn't work!!!). Managed to stuff 40 over freshers into the bus and proceed to Tapah without much ado... besides being the only nervous senior on the bus while the rest were happily cruising in Chien Liq's car and Jia Hong's car. Day one got off to a good start, with Tao creating much laughter (mostly at his own hilarious antics) and Ili (a planted 'fresher') giving one of her best performances to date! The ice breakers didn't get many names stuck in our heads. Instead what stuck in our heads was probably the colour of Phil's boxers (Sorry, Phil! My bad!). After dinner, our night time entertainment consisting of Tao's powerpoint slide show and Chris's super duper M-nite sneak preview video was just brilliant! But learning that many of our freshers would make great circus freakshows during the Virus game was an eye opener! Aargh.. those double jointed elbows....
Sunday (Day 2 of fresher's camp)I'm sorry to rub it in but... thanks to my warm and cosy sleeping bag, I actually had a VERY comfortable night in the pavillion! If Tao hadn't woken up talking about "Sotong sotong! Dodol dodol!". Soha talked in her sleep again! Hehe! But she didn't mention Amar's name this time (can just see you wiping away those beads of sweat!)Day 2 started of bright and early with stream trotting! And yes, yours truly stupidly wore white! Why hasn't ANYONE in ODAC ever told me you shouldn't wear white when you're gonna get wet? Particularly since Odacians are extremely susceptible to RAIN?? Everything I wore during expeditions was white... so how come, it's only Malaysian IC people who have a problem with this wearing white thing? Educate me, please!The stream was very carefully trotted in my loose Nike sandals. Waterfall was refreshing! It's been so long since I felt one with nature. The singing out of tune all the way back to the campsite was fun too! The afternoon got abit draggy, although Chien Liq did a great job of keeping the freshers from falling asleep. Alumni members did not make much of a scene (thank goodness!). And, man... I really don't know what hit the freshers when we introduced 'Polar Bear' to them. You'd swear the ones in my group were literally being killed with all the screaming that was going on!BBQ and campfire was a pretty relaxed and spontaneous thing. Chien Liq again stole the limelight with his story telling. Some disturbing performances from the freshers. Nevertheless, with so many talented performers, I'm once again inspired to finish the M-nite script... with some performers in mind! Woohoo! Didn't get much sleep that night. No thanks to Tao and Chien Liq. I don't think I've recovered yet from that night of stolen sleep... but you don't get to chit chat with your batch mates like that everyday...
Monday (Day 3 of fresher's camp)Fresher's considerately let the seniors sleep in a little longer. I was surviving only on adrenaline on the last morning. Failed to keep up a lively Q&A session, nevertheless revealing angels & mortals solved that, not to mention the squash banana dance! After lunch, we sent the freshers packing on the bus with Soha, while the rest of us headed to the Tapah rest stop for some makan. At that point I suddenly felt a huge weight crash down on me, and I couldn't even keep my eyes open. I nearly concussed in Jia Hong's car on the way back if Jia Hong hadn't continuously kept up the conversation to keep me conscious. Reached home and immediately zoned out after dinner. Lionel sounded rather amused from the 3 smses he left on my phone...
After the camp, I lost track of time. Before I knew it I was on a Nice Plusliner bus travelling to Singapore with my little brother (who made me take him to Marches for lunch in return for supporting the UK Bound clubbing event by IC Singsoc). My break down under was abit of a blur. If I recall, I think I got a tour of Ang Mo Kio (although if you leave me right in the middle I still will not be able to find Lionel's apartment even after 5 days!), I spent an afternoon in NUS with Sher, Venki and Baa, and even visited Lionel's labs, went clubbing at China Black - even though I spent most of my time at the ticket counter, trying to keep Lionel entertained (no, I didn't do a very good job, soweee!), went shopping at Queensway (new shoes and a new pink bag!!! and I was this close to buying a pink pair of shoes... till Lionel convinced me otherwise!), met Mao Mao and Darren and Jing Ye for prata dinner, had tea with Charme, Joseph, Sherene and Venki at NYDC (yes, Charme... you still have everyright to punch Lionel for his mischevious sms), and a BBQ dinner with the Low family (and I mean like almost the entire Low family... I have this feeling the only person I got on really well with was Lionel's 3 year old niece...) and that pretty much sums up my much deserved holiday! Far far away from MSoc... although I have to admit I couldn't resist checking my mail and the forums.

And now I'm back again. Feeling a little silly that I didn't get to see you, due to a very silly mistake which I'll have to explain although I don't feel like explaining. Maybe it was fate. Maybe we're just never meant to meet again. Maybe its just a way of telling me I have already moved on with life and things are never going to be the same again and that's just the way it should be. Silly me.

2 weeks left. Time to start packing again. You'd think I'd be used to this... but... sigh...

The flame has been extinguished. Fatigue has hit me hard. My head is pounding, my eyelids are heavy, my limbs like lead. I even resorted to a large slice of sweet tiramisu cake in a desperate attempt at sugar high energy. But I've met my match in my own self.

I'm completely drained. It's like I've been doing sets of stair climbing and the blood is still pounding in my head except that I haven't done anything more vigorous than 30 minutes on the exer-cycle! Months of planning for a camp has led to my wishing that Monday would come sooner and I'd only have to worry about packing my bags and jumping on the bus to Singapore.

3 more weeks before I'm back in the cold dreariness and English rain. So soon? Where has time gone?

Selamat Hari Kebangsaan!

"Tanggal 31, bulan lapan, lima puluh tujuh... Merdeka, Merdeka!"

Yeah, that's one of the few patriotic songs I know, embarrassingly. I do still remember the lyrics to Setia... I think. Anyhow, I don't care what you say! I am full blooded Malaysian, no matter how many times you affiliate me with that island down south!

It's a quiet Merdeka day for KL residents this year. The celebrations have been shunted to my father's hamlet hometown - Kuantan. And I'm more than glad I'm not one of those red, white, yellow or blue clad school kids continuously waving flags and scarves while singing some badly composed patriotic song for almost an hour. Can we not come up with something more creative after 47 years of independence? Or is it part of the constitution to drag submissive school kids to the parade just to form a human flag?

As a tribute to the nation's independence, my sister and I are attempting to make a tiramisu cake today. I do not have very high expectations of it, seeing that I had to replace the mascaporne cheese with another italian cheese as my sister is quite determined to make that cake, with or without the right ingredients!

My printer is also quite determined to annoy me by printing as slowly as possible, with or without the right colours!

I can't do this!

I can't live without a routine. I wake up at 8am and think "Shouldn't I be somewhere?" and then recall that staying in bed is considered a luxury to some and maybe I should just draw that duvet back over my head. But no! I toss and turn for about 15 minutes, and then decide I've had enough of sleeping. It's time to start the day.

But what with?

My diary which has been filled with reminders and 'to do' lists is now so empty, it's almost lifeless (roughly the same condition I am in). I know I'm supposed to do stuff for MSoc, but now that I have all the time in the world, it's just too much time to handle and MSoc things become insignificant teeny tasks. Not important because I didn't pen it down in red in my diary and underlined it at least twice.

I wonder what such obsessive compulsive behaviour will do to me in my old age!

The last day of work is finally here! Popped off from work at 1pm sharp (practically ran helter skelter out of there!). A very unexciting end to an unexciting attachment. Half the office wasn't even there on my last few days of work.

Strangely enough, now that I am free, I don't really feel like doing MSoc work. Maybe its fatigue, maybe I've reached the end of my rope, maybe I just want to enjoy doing absolutely nothing for awhile.

I'm tempted to do something totally outrageous and out of this world next week. Like baking or something...

And catch up on some TV, newspapers, blogs, and finally get down to starting my Literature reading list. Every time I look at it I feel like crying. Engineers shouldn't be put through the torture of doing humanities! Oh well, Literature was still the better of all the evils (which includes stuff like History of the Roman Empire, Music and Western Civilisation, Politics and Philosophy...). It's time to get back to Hardy and Blake and Lawrence, and forget Fourier and Laplace and that stupid cat!

I am le tired.

And judging from the nicks on msn, so is everyone else.

After weeks and weeks of MSoc work (yeah, that's right - MSoc work! Because I don't do any real work in the office anyway) I took a weekend break, dumped my freshers list on Tao, sent off my half written M-nite script to Ayish, packed my bags and jumped on a night train to Singapore.

I was quite determined not to be reached in Singapore. I had swapped my Maxis sim card for a Starhub one, and only my parents and Singaporean friends knew my number. I would be far far away from the Internet on Sentosa Island with Singsoc. And if all else failed, Lionel was quite determined not to let me do any MSoc work too!

So I arrived in Singapore on a bright Saturday morning and immediately hopped on an SBS bus (gosh... I've missed SBS buses!) straight to NUS into Charmaine and Joseph's welcoming car. Charme brought me to the Art's canteen for it's famed food... but my stomach felt kinda stapled the moment I crossed the causeway. After a quick shower I ran off to RJ (leaving my towel in Charme's room in the process! Go me!).

Odacia was, well, good actually! It was great to see all of you... and you... and the day had ups and downs AND a football smashed into my face, but it was all good. Hanging around aimlessly and talking cock with Odac just like the old days... watching the Olympic table tennis match, sitting on the floor at Taka basement, eating dinner (I didn't think the old Odac habit still existed!)... I'm sorry I didn't stay longer. And it wasn't as I had feared - that things had changed and gone and moved on and that you guys would see a different me and not like it. But it didn't happen, and even Morris was so nice to comment, "I see your fashion sense hasn't changed".

By the time I reached Sentosa it was past 9pm. Taking the bus over to Sentosa, quite alone, little puffs of memory clouds passed through my mind - especially that dreadful YEC Camp, Odac seniors farewell, and other times spent with friends come and gone... and it felt a little weird to literally leave Odac behind and join a new bunch of friends in Singsoc. Odac which has always represented Singapore for me is slowly being replaced.

Lionel picked me up from the visitor centre smelling of BBQ smoke, and brought me to the chalets where the first person I chanced upon was Ronald Huang! (Not so big a surprise) Lester was somewhere around too (also not that big a surprise), but then Ronald pointed out Bok and said "You're still scared of him, right?". Ouch! 3 Odac seniors, now my juniors... guess there won't be a dull moment at Imperial anymore. It was great meeting up with my seniors. I've missed their bullying. Meeting up with Jacq, Darren, Ee Wen, etc. was great fun too. I'm now feeling the pressure of holding a camp that's up to standard. Loved the little airconditioned hut I shared with Lionel - seriously Singaporeans are spoilt!

Guess I missed most of the activities at the camp, but still managed to pick up some gossips with regards to the infamous Lester Loi who's made himself quite popular! Had breakfast at Macs where Kai Leng mistook a real dog's bark for Jac and Marvin's barks and sent a disapproval warning to our table. Then went back to Lionel's house to bathe and change and then it was out to Suntec again to meet my brother for lunch. Fed him enough seafood to make him sick! He didn't even want desert! Then after going to church with my little brother, I went back to Orchard to meet the linsteadians for Xiao Loong Pow (however you spell it lah...). Didn't eat much because my stomach was still stapled but managed to stuff 3 tar sau pows! Go me!

We then headed over to Jac's house and I was introduced to her menagarie of animals, whose names you'd swear were right off a restaurant menu! That's what you get for calling your dog Tofu and hamster Zi Ma and Char Siew Pau. Darren scared the living daylights out of her parrot by prodding it with a stick. I don't think I ventured near it at all. At least Tofu likes me, dogs can SO sense that you're a cat lover, Alex!!

Nearly fell asleep while the guys watched football, and Lionel and I pretty much concussed after Alex dropped us back. But not before I got to finally check my mail while Lionel was taking a bath, even though I was sort of forbidden to. Spent Monday morning just lazing around until it was time for me to go. I don't get many chances to laze around on a working day, and with Lionel at that!

And now it's back to work again. I don't mean office work of course. I'm on call for Msoc 24-7. In fact my phone was continuously ringing the night a got back! Looks like I can't really leave MSoc alone, even for ONE weekend. Can't wait to run back to Singapore again on the 8th! Yes, I'll be back, and maybe this time we can say more than just hi, bye and ask annoying questions, huh?

My weekdays have just become a buzz. But the weekends are hell-uva joy ride!
I just couldn't wait for last Friday to end. Lionel and Darren boarded a bus from Singapore at midnight to arrive here at 6am. Woke up at 7am with a shock to find no miss calls or smses on my phone. Lionel's idea of being considerate was my idea of causing me to worry and imagine all the unimaginable possibilities that could have happened to them.

Finally brought them over to my place and after a rest we set off for KLCC, for an MSoc committee meeting. Must have been broken all committee meeting records! 5 hours in the KLCC food court! By the end of it my voice had half disappeared and Amar was suffering hunger pangs at home... waiting for us to join him for Asam Laksa... which we did eventually. Yummy!

Plans to watch House of Flying Daggers with Lionel didn't turn out so we ended up tucking in on garlic naans and special rotis at Murni. All diets set by my mum were completely ignored.

Lionel and I spent the entire Sunday lazing around, eating banana leaf, looking for parking at Ikano, wolfing down Peranakan food and finally watching House of Flying daggers before playing chauffeur and picking up Amar, Darren and Fong May for some late night mamak in Bangsar.

Had to wake up earlier (haha, like about 10am) to go shopping at Midvalley on Monday. Didn't really find anything worth buying and I guess I was kind of tired from the lack of sleep. Finally sent Lionel off at Palace of the Golden Horses where his parents were waiting for him.

Nothing like a weekend spent lazing around with Lionel. Will be in Singapore next weekend to take a sneak peak at Sojourn (and of course for Odacia-lah... I haven't forgotten about you guys). Right now I just have to worry about this Saturday's Gamuda scholarship awards ceremony. Tuning my guitar, practising vocal scales... how long has it been since I last performed for an audience?

2 more weeks till the end of my practical training. I'm counting down the days (10), and if I'm bored enough I'll count the hours too!