I'm obsessive compulsive... why am I not surprised? But it's better than being histrionic, isn't it xiaokai? *grin*

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizoid |||||||||||| 42% Schizotypal |||||||||||| 50% Antisocial |||||||||||| 46% Borderline |||| 14% Histrionic |||||||||||||| 58% Narcissistic |||||||||||||| 58% Avoidant |||||||||||||| 58% Dependent |||||||||||| 50% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||||||| 78%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test

Hallelujah
Artist: John Cale
Rufus Wainwright Lyrics
Copyright © 1985 Leonard Cohen and Sony/ATV Music Publishing Canada Company.


I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?
It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty
in the moonlight
overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne,
she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe I've been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time you'd let me know
What's real and going on below
But now you never show it to me do you?
Remember when I moved in you?
The holy dark was moving too
And every breath we drew was hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there's a God above
And all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It's not a cry you can hear at night
It's not somebody who's seen the light
It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Time expands and contracts... depending on which side of the looking glass you are. 3 weeks to the end of term, that's a long time before I can go home, yet there aren't enough hours in a day to get rid of these assessments and tests. 3 weeks spent back home for Christmas doesn't seem long enough to do everything I want to do... twice! or thrice! But it seems a long time to be away from London and my hall friends whom I actually think I might miss. 6 weeks till I turn 21. Have I been 20 for that long already? I haven't even gotten over being a teen!

Time... thou art a sly one...

Idly blogging an idle blog...

Love my current playlist... wanna listen?

Delta Goodrem - Born to Try ::good sweet vocals::
Adam Sandler - I Wanna Grow Old With You ::awwwwww::
Alessandro Safina, Ewan Mcgregor - Your Song ::how can you not lurve Ewan Mcgregor when he sings?::
Bachelor Girl - Buses and Trains
Bon Jovi - Thank You for Loving Me ::heart warming::
Bread - If
Bryan Adams - When You Really Love A Woman ::all guys should adopt this as their creed::
The Calling - Could It Be Any Harder
The Calling - Adrienne ::lost me voice singing this::
Chantal Kreviazuk - Leaving on a Jet Plane
Coco Lee - Before I Fall In Love
Collin Raye - Love, Me ::charme! look! your favourite!::
The Corrs - At Your Side
Counting Crows feat Vanessa Carlton - Big Yellow Taxi ::ooooooo bap bap bap::
Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers - We've got Tonight ::who needs tomorrow?::
Elvis Costello - She
Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight
Ewan McGregor & Nicole Kidman - Elephant Love Medley, Come What May
Gordon Lightfoot - If You Could Read My Mind
Indecent Obsession - Fixing A Broken Heart
Jars Of Clay - Love Song For a Saviour
Jewel - Hands ::Can you believe it? I don't have You Were Meant For Me!!::
Kris Dayanti - Menghitung Hari ::The best thing to come out of Indonesia::
LeAnn Rimes - The Right Kind of Wrong, Can't Fight The Moonlight
Les Miserables - On My Own, A Little Fall Of Rain
Mandy Moore - I Wanna Be With You
Martina McBride - I Love You
Lene Marlin - Sitting Down Here
Robbie Williams - She's The One
Savage Garden - Crash And Burn, Santa Monica
Tori Amos - Crucify, Silent All These Years, Winter, Mother, Pretty Good Year, Bells For Her, Baker Baker, Icicle
Robert Downey Jr & Vonda Shepard - Chances Are ::squeal Charme, squeal!!!::

That can keep a girl pretty happy while studying digital electronics

Note to self:

Stop doing stupid things! Like leaving the windows wide open before going to sleep. Like singing ala LeAnn Rimes when you've got a sore throat. Like wasting time watching table football when you could be analysing circuits. Like talking to yourself although you really need a good talking to! Like living disillusionally.

Its such a painful irony everytime I have to stop myself and say, "no, he's my bestfriend" and then feel the tear rip further, feel the dagger slicing deeper and deeper. It hurts to see them raise their eyebrows as if I'm not telling the truth. I wish I wasn't... the truth has never been more painful. I wish there was a term for more than bestfriend but not boyfriend... but there isn't... I can't even say ex... because there's a finality and negativity to it which I can't bear to label you. I want to put the pieces away, hide the photos, the ring, the little things but its not easy... the watch you gave me, the keychain we exchanged, the profile on my handphone, the earrings I wear, the stuff toys on my bed... it'd take months to wipe it away... but I don't want to. I don't want to forget...

After an incredible Raya feast yesterday and walking in the rain in my thin baju kebaya I am now suffering from an assortment of illnesses that I can't seem to specifically identify. I went to bed with a splitting headache, occasionally waking up because I was shivering... and only at 4am did I realise I was sleeping with the windows wide open and the heater off! So fine, I turned the heater on and shut the windows but by then I was starting to feel dizzy and aching all over. By 6am I began to suffer from Whiner's syndrome... but who in this hall was going to be sympathetic towards me at 6am in the morning??? So I called Greg to whine as best as I could, quite an effort as my throat had now decided to turn sore and very painful. After half an hour of consolation and "you should drink more water" and "you should get more sleep" (wait a minute! Those are MY lines!!!) I went back to sleep feeling a little better but woke up sweating buckets. Went to lectures shivering all the way... head felt too heavy and achy to pay attention to differential equations or phasors. And now all I want to do is crawl into bed, but Menaka is waiting for me in the Elec. Labs to experiment with idiotic diodes!

ooooohhh.... so sicky wicky...

---------- GENERAL INFO ------------
Time starting: 1:30am
Name on Birth Certificate: Charlotte Yeow Shu Chen
E-mail: fallenunderscoreangel95athotmaildotcom
Hair Color: ebony
Height: 164cm (without my shoes on and I'm still taller than some ngai people...)
Shoe Size: about the same size as my foot
Lives with you: My roomie, Kristina... who's getting freaked out by my 3am study hours
When is your bedtime?: well, sometimes I sleep at 11pm, then wake up at 3am, then go back to sleep at 5am, then wake up at 9am, then go back to sleep at 11am, then wake up at 1pm, then go back to sleep at 5pm... YOU tell me!

------------------HAVE YOU EVER------------------

Ever been so drunk you blacked out?: I haven't even been drunk yet

Been hurt emotionally?: Not sure... there's this iron wall around me...

Keep any secrets from anyone?: Not unless I haven't told them yet

Had an imaginary friend: Sometimes I think all my friends have been imaginary

Had a crush on a teacher: My teachers have been mostly of the female breed

Ever thought an animated character was hot?: I don't even think Justin Timberlake is hot, what makes you think I'd think anything less alive than JT is hot?

Cut your own hair: Once... and never again

------------------FAVORITES------------------

*Shampoo: VO5... why? Because I obediently use what my mother tells me to. Then when my hair falls out I can say, "It wasn't ME who bought the bloody Shampoo!"

*Color: It's currently a violent fight between fuschia and purple!

*Game: "What's the latest time I can arrive at lectures without having the whole lecture hall stare at me?"

*Lace or satin: What about silk? No one ever asks about silk!

*Fav cartoon charactor: Lionel... he DOES look like a cartoon as Soha pointed out

*Fave food: Sushi... at Sushi Tei... when Greg is paying...

*Fave Movie: The Sound of Music

*Fave Ice Cream: English Toffee

*Fave Subject: Mathematical Programming Literature

*Fave Person to talk to: Greg

---------- RIGHT NOW ------------------

*Wearing: Asean 2001 T-shirt and slacks

*Hair: disciplined after alot of combing and under the strong hold of a thick head band

*I'm Feeling: a distinct caffeine buzz somewhere in the nether regions of my brain

*Eating: honey. Seriously!

*Thinking about: tomorrow's breakfast

*Listening to: If by Bread (guys, here's a tip... master this song on the guitar and you can sweep any girl off her feet!)

*Talking To: Amar, who was pretending to be me on msn an hour ago and even managed to get yi shan to be me as well... why do I bother? Must be the caffeine! Stop stealing my msn nick will you? Be original, get your own!

*Watching: blinking spots in front of my eyes... danged caffeine!

----------IN THE LAST 24 HOURS-----------

*Cried: Felt like it but didn't... I'm getting stronger, yes I am.

*Worn a Skirt: No. I'll wear one tomorrow to make up for it!

*Cleaned Your Room: EVERY freaking day! Its kind of therapeutic to shift my things around a little every morning

*Done Laundry: Heck, I just folded the 3rd batch!

----------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------

*Yourself: After reading up on existentialism and its arguments... I am still not sure

*Your friends: occasionally, if they bribe me once in a while

*Santa Claus: Yes... as long as the spirit of giving is still there, yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

*Tooth Fairy: No. Because the crummy mite never gave me a single cent!

*Destiny/Fate: Yes... but it's believing that you've made the right choice with the opportunities Fate has presented you that is harder

*God: Yes

*Karma: refer to Fate

*Angels: Yes, I think you're one just for being there

*Ghosts: I believe in a supernatural realm, yes.

*UFO's: Did I ever mention the many years of my life spent as an X-file fanatic?

-------------- FRIENDS AND LIFE ----------------

*Like Anyone?: I occasionally jot down a reminder in my diary to "try and like someone today"

*Who have you known the longest of your friends: Michelle... it's infamous! We should just tattoo it on our foreheads instead of bringing it up at every gathering

*Who's the Loudest: Everyone in Linstead Hall is exceptionally LOUD! especially when I'm trying to study!

*Who's the Weirdest: Amar. He's also the craziest, loudest, horniest, crudest, etc. etc.

*Who Do You Cry To?: Greg or my pillow

*What's the Best Feeling in the World?: Being able to love unconditionally (probably equivalent to reaching a state of Nirvana)

*Worst Feeling: Losing half of yourself... like a phantom limb, you forget it's not there anymore

*What Time Did You Finish?: 2 am

Comments: Cafe Lattes are potent. Even ones that have more latte than cafe!

What happens when Mum Finds Out About Your Blog?

I really wouldn't want my own mother reading what I have to say. Because it'll be a repetition of what I tell her, regardless of the fact that I usually talk to her in our own 'mother-daughter' language which means I tell her about my day and then she comments and I say "yes, Mum" and then she says she would have done exactly as I did when she was my age and I say "yes, Mum" and then she nags and I say "Yes, Mum".

My mum is an amazing person. Most people who've met her would agree. And I doubt she would be very shocked at the things I write in my blog. I tell my mother things like "I want to be the Minister of Transport one day" and she says "Oh alright, but why not the Minister of Trade and Investment?". I tell her when I go clubbing and she says things like "Vodka and lime? That's all you had? You should have tried Bacardi coke, and tequilas are always good. Oh come on, I've brought you up to hold your liquor". Sometimes she calls up in the middle of the morning and asks me what I'm doing answering my phone when I should be in uni and I say "Oh, I skipped lectures today... lecturer is way too boring so my hall mates are taking turns to attend the lectures to get notes for the rest" and she'd say "Good. You're learning fast, aren't you?". Still I wouldn't want my mother reading my blog. That would be blurring the boundaries of our mother-daughter relationship

My dad says I am a complete younger replica of my mother (but I look just like him). I talk fast, I'm impatient when people don't get my point and I was born with a haughty 'I am superior' look on my face. And for as long as I can remember I have always been my mother's daughter. I took up ballet because mum did. I played the piano because mum did. I took literature for SPM because mum was a Lit student. I adore math because it was mum's favourite too. I speak with her accent. I only trust her approval in clothes. I like the theatre, japanese food and lilies because mum does and I don't like chocolates or artificial japanese flower arrangements because mum doesn't. And I'm studying here in London and not in Brown because... well... I felt I owed it to mum to go back to the city she loved so much and be that London girl she always wanted me to be and not a quirky, Ivy League, american graduate. (No offence to any ivy league grads to be... I love you guys! honest!)

I met up for lunch with one of mum's old uni mates last weekend... and she told me what mum was like in university. Vain, bitchy and loud. And then mum's old friend said "You're so different from your mum. She was never as prim and proper as you are". Puzzling... I AM vain, I AM bitchy and I AM loud enough for my friends to always innocently kill me when we're playing polar bear just because "Charlotte is talking too much!"

Most people never want to become their mothers. I've never thought becoming my mother was a bad thing.

Silly notion in my head at 4am in the morning:

Reading through circuits analysis notes *does* actually make circuits tutorials seem easier. Wow!
I should start making this a habit

The weather just wants me to grow fat and vegetate, doesn't it??? Come on, Mother Nature! You've had a field day yesterday! Raining and raining and raining... and then the fire alarm goes off and we're all stuck outside the hall shivering in the rain, but you won't stop will you? And when I'm walking back from rehearsals in the dark, you're still sloshing buckets all over London. And when I wake up this morning you're at it again... rain, rain, rain. No running for me, no basketball for the others, and now I will have to walk to church and get wet! Do you know why English people always talk about the weather? Because it's bloody unpredictable and bloody inconsistent and always cocks up when you least expect it.

In other news
Jonathan Brandis is dead. Why do I care so much about this? Because he was a teen idol from my pre-teen era. (And because I thought he was the worst addition to SeaQuest DSV). And yes, that was a long time ago. Primary school girls get infatuated over such silly things

I'm turning 21 in a month and a half. And I will be able to vote! Watch me take over the Malaysian government (as long as Amar doesn't fling his bloody bumi rights in my face)

A day in the life of an Ankh Morpork chorus girl

My name is Giselle, and I am a chorus girl. I am flirtatious, self-absorbed and imagine that I can dance and sing. In between rehearsals, which go all too well thanks to me no doubt, I am either incredibly busy preening and checking that my hair is in place and that my tutu emphasises my perky bum! I see things that aren't there... like the opera ghost, with his white face and holes where his eyes should be and he has NO NOSE!!! I scream at anything - fleeting ghostlike images, the chorus master's body hanging from the loft, Mr Salzella the director of music in a sword fight with Walter, the stage hand... and believe me, that is only just the start of what happens in opera.
And from the 3rd to the 6th of December I will be performing at the Union Concert Hall just for your pure entertainment!


When you've spent 6 hours rehearsing in one small room, your stage personality starts to play havoc on your mind.

It never rains but pours...

And I never get about to running, but just vegetate in my room...

I DID feel rather inspired by the NS guys to keep up a fitness routine that didn't just consist of sit-ups and the occasional walk to the fridge across my room. I DID tell everyone at mexican night last night that by hook or by crook I'd be out of bed at 8am and running at Hyde Park. I DID wake up at 8am, watched the raindrops patter gently outside my window, pondered about the pros and cons of keeping fit and getting sick just before christmas tests, and 'reluctantly' crouched back into foetal postition under my warm duvet.

I think I'll run tomorrow.

The cloud of pink balloons did fly
Past my window as I lay
Thinking of pink balloons flying
Over fields of the pinkest hay

And the cloud of pink balloons did land
Upon my bed and covered me
In dreams of pink cotton candy clouds
And the pinkest honey and tea

// After celebrating Avic's birthday with a pretty pink 'Party Girl' cake and pink balloons and pink ribbons (yes, Avic is a guy who's manliness we just disintegrated), can barely say I am in my right mind. Maybe I am in my left//

At almost 3 am in the morning I'm sitting here finishing up tutorials and a tiny red thread of thought is piercing my mind... it was just a little comment, probably meant as a joke, but it's nudging the little grey matters at the back of my mind.

"She's Singaporean what! Yalor... ok Charlotte's semi Singaporean"

And I'm sitting here wondering what it is that makes me so Singaporean because its not just the snide comments the Singaporeans make, I can feel that tiny nugget of Singaporeanisms in the things I do, the things I say or even the things I think about... can two years completely give you a new makeover? Can two years totally redefine you?

Greg was right... When I left Singapore, I took a part of it with me...

Just could not resist posting this! Gosh, I do miss Singapore!

Dear Friends

In Singapore, living in Highly Dangerous Buildings (HDB), most
people have already got used to Paying And Paying (PAP).

Not only do you pay, you Pay Until Bankrupt (PUB). If that's not
enough, somebody still Purposely Wants to Dig (PWD) more from
you. So what more can you do when you are in the Money Only
Environment (MOE)?

When you are sick, you might be able to use your Cash Prior to
Funeral (CPF) fund, if you happen to be admmited to the Money
Operating Hospital (MOH) one time. If you are out of luck, you
may meet doctors who Never Use Heart (NUH) to treat you and you
will be Sure to Give-up Hope (SGH) ..

To help ease the traffic, motorist have to pay Cash On Expressway
(COE). If that doesnt help, they can always Eternally Raise
Prices (ERP) on the roads. If you don't own a car, you can always
make a Mad Rush to Train (MRT) or get squashed in a bus, Side By
Side (SBS).

Lastly, under all these pressure, there are not many places we
can relax, not even the good old place we used to go because it
has become So Expensive and Nothing TO See Actually (SENTOSA).

At the end of the day, living in Singapore is quite frustrating. Even to
the extend of hearing people complianing Now Everyone's Water At
Toilet Eventually Recycled (NEWATER).

You tell me lah, should I be a quitter or stayer?

10 minutes ago Yi Shan said : I want to pass you something, give me 5 minutes.

... I'm still waiting


Time started: 10:59pm
Name : Charlotte
Birthdate : 10 Jan 1983
Home town : Petaling Jaya
Pri School : SRK Sri Petaling
Sec School : SMP Sri Aman
Poly/Jc : Raffles Junior College
University : Imperial College London
Siblings : One little brother and one little sister whom I miss so much!!!
Righty/Lefty: Righty. I'm always right!

~~~~~Your Looks~~~~~
Hair Colour : Ebony
Eye Colour : Dark Mahogany
Contacts/Glasses: Haha... my fake glasses with no power... which I use to block off the rays from my comp screen
Any Piercings: My ears... and when I get the guts, my belly button!
Any Rings : one silver ring with HUNNYBUNNY engraved on it (ok... now you all finally know what was engraved on my ring)
What Shoes Do You Wear: smart pierre cardins for classes, trainers for jogging (hah!), furry bedroom slippers
~~~~~Just Lately~~~~~
How are you today: desperate... (for more study time lah!)
What pants are you wearing: blue jeans
What shirt are you wearing: pink long sleeved body hugging thingee
What does your hair look like at the moment: unruly! curls where it shouldn't...
What song are you listening to right now: Diana Krall's 'Lets Fall in Love'
What was the last thing you ate: dinner - cheese and ham omelette with baked beans and potatos and pineapple sponge cake for desert!! mmmmm!!
How is the weather right now: Lovely when I was walking back in the dark on my own just now
The last person you talked to on the phone: Greg! =)
~~~~~More About You~~~~~
What are the last four digits of your phone?: I can't remember my own number... it's too difficult
If you were a crayon what color would you be?: Purple (don't give me the sex crap, Sherene)
Have you ever almost died: No. When God wants me back he won't let me ALMOST die
Best advice anyone's given to you: "Cry your heart out, but after you're done... pick up the pieces and move on!"... thanks Mummy...
What sport do you hate the most: Volleyball! I'm scared of volleyballs!
How many phones do you have in your house: 3
Do you have your own phone line: I love my room phone, yes I do!
Animals: I miss my puppy, Chelsea
Place for a dream house: Venice
Have you ever sprained/broken/fracured a bone: sprains! Why... I do believe they love me as much as I loathe them!
Who would you tell your dreams to: Greg
Who is the loudest friend: Ruby!
Who is the quietest friend: Richard
~~~~~You and Love~~~~~
Do you believe in love: Of course
Do you believe in love at first sight?: Causes alot of heartache, that one...
Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend: no, I have a bestfriend
What song do you want played at ur funeral: Collin Raye's Love, Me
Lights on/off: off
Do you like snow, sun, rain: Dancing in the rain
Summer or winter: Summer
White or chocolate milk: a little in between
Mud or Jell-O wrestling: MUD! MUD! MUD!
Skiing or boarding: Not me, I bruise like a plum
Day or night: night
Cake or pie: Cheesecake... adrian owes me one
Diamond or pearl: Pearls! pearls! Tears of pearls!
Sunset or sunrise: Sunrise at the peak of Mt K... sunset along the East coast shores....

~~~~~~Have You Ever~~~~~
Loved someone so much it made you cry: I cry anyhow...
Smoked: No

Time finished: 11:43 pm (because I was in Cheryl's room chatting!)

Some of the most wonderful poetry ever written, I read at the age of one. (Yes, I could read when I was one... my parents will tell that to anyone who will listen to more braggings about their first born... must have been quite a dissapointment when I didn't get into Cambridge). I think nursery rhymes are some of the best written works that very little credit is given to. The lovely imagery, the beautiful aliterations, the underlying political agenda (Baa baa black sheep is a classic!)... at the age of one I remembered being incredibly emotional over nursery rhymes. I always wanted to meet the fine lady upon a white horse at banbury cross with rings on her fingers and bells on her toes. I wanted a garden like Mary who was quite contrary. I was terrified of the crooked man who walked a crooked mile. And I always went to sleep thinking of Wynken, Blynken and Nod. I just came across a few of my favourites while I was thinking of Wynken, Blynken and Nod after boring myself to death with digital logic. Digital logic is SO unpoetic!

BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP
Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes, marry, have I,
Three bags full;

One for my master,
One for my dame,
But none for the little boy
Who cries in the lane.

HICKETY, PICKETY, MY BLACK HEN
Hickety, pickety, my black hen,
She lays eggs for gentlemen;
Gentlemen come every day
To see what my black hen doth lay.

BOBBY SHAFTOE
Bobby Shaftoe’s gone to sea,
With silver buckles on his knee:
He’ll come back and marry me,
Pretty Bobby Shaftoe!
Bobby Shaftoe’s fat and fair,
Combing down his yellow hair;
He’s my love for evermore,
Pretty Bobby Shaftoe.
**I always imagined that Bobby Shaftoe drowned at sea thus giving this a sad ending. I think I was quite a sadistic child**

COME OUT TO PLAY
Girls and boys, come out to play,
The moon doth shine as bright as day;
Leave your supper, and leave your sleep,
And come with your playfellows into the street.
Come with a whoop, come with a call,
Come with a good will or not at all.
Up the ladder and down the wall,
A half-penny roll will serve us all.
You find milk, and I’ll find flour,
And we’ll have a pudding in half an hour.

COME TO THE WINDOW
Come to the window,
My baby, with me,
And look at the stars
That shine on the sea!
There are two little stars
That play bo-peep
With two little fish
Far down in the deep;
And two little frogs
Cry "Neap, neap, neap";
I see a dear baby
That should be asleep.

CURLY-LOCKS
Curly-locks, Curly-locks, wilt thou be mine?
Thou shalt not wash the dishes, nor yet feed the swine;
But sit on a cushion, and sew a fine seam,
And feed upon strawberries, sugar, and cream.
**I could dream forever that someone would propose that to me**

HUMPTY DUMPTY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;
All the King’s horses, and all the King’s men
Cannot put Humpty Dumpty together again.
**My dad once told me that Humpty Dumpty fell off the little ledge above the big drain out side my house. There was an oval piece of cardboard that was caught between some branches at the bottom of the drain, so I believed him... and went to pay my respects to poor Humpty Dumpty every evening**

HUSH-A-BYE
Hush-a-bye, baby, on the tree top!
When the wind blows the cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall;
Down will come baby, bough, cradle and all.
**Nursery rhymes are sadistic... but I used to recite this one many times, hoping it'd end differently one day**

I HAD A LITTLE NUT TREE
I had a little nut tree,
Nothing would it bear,
But a silver nutmeg and a golden pear.
The King of Spain's daughter
Came to see me,
All because of my little nut tree.
I skipped over the water,
I danced over the sea,
And all the birds in the air couldn't catch me.

IF
If all the world were apple pie,
And all the sea were ink,
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
What should we have for drink?

LADYBIRD
Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home!
Your house is on fire, your children all gone,
All but one, and her name is Ann,
And she crept under the pudding pan
**I used to whisper to ladybirds to fly away home... just in case...**

LAVENDER BLUE
Lavender blue and rosemary green,
When I am king you shall be queen;
Call up my maids at four o'clock,
Some to the wheel and some to the rock;
Some to make hay and some to shear corn,
And you and I will keep the bed warm.
**cough cough! Wonder why...**

THE LION AND THE UNICORN
The Lion and the Unicorn were fighting for the crown,
The Lion beat the Unicorn all around the town.
Some gave them white bread, and some gave them brown,
Some gave them plum-cake, and sent them out of town.
**What a grand sight that must have been**

THE LITTLE GIRL WITH A CURL
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead;
When she was good, she was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.
** I think my mum told me if I was naughty my hair would curl... hmm...**

LITTLE POLLY FLINDERS
Little Polly Flinders
Sat among the cinders
Warming her pretty little toes;
Her mother came and caught her,
Whipped her little daughter
For spoiling her nice new clothes.
** This one always reminds me of my mum...**

THE MAN IN THE WILDERNESS
The man in the wilderness
Asked me

How many strawberries
Grew in the sea.

I answered him
As I thought good,

As many as red herrings
Grew in the wood.

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY
Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
Silver bells and cockle-shells,
And pretty maids all of a row.

OLD WOMAN, OLD WOMAN
There was an old woman tossed in a basket.
Seventeen times as high as the moon;
But where she was going no mortal could tell,
For under her arm she carried a broom.

“Old woman, old woman, old woman,” said I,
“Whither, oh whither, oh whither so high?”
“To sweep the cobwebs from the sky;
And I’ll be with you by-and-by

RIDE A COCK-HORSE
Ride a cock-horse to Banbury Cross,
To see a fine lady upon a white horse.
Rings on her fingers, and bells on her toes,
She shall have music wherever she goes.

THE ROBIN
The north wind doth blow,
And we shall have snow,
And what will poor robin do then,
Poor thing ?

He’ll sit in a barn,
And keep himself warm,
And hide his head under his wing,
Poor thing!

RUB-A-DUB-DUB
Rub-a-dub-dub
Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker,
They all jumped out of a rotten potato,
'Twas enough to make a man stare.

SIPPITY SUP
Sippity sup, sippity sup,
Bread and milk from a china cup.
Bread and milk from a bright silver spoon
Made of a piece of the bright silver moon.
Sippity sup, sippity sup,
Sippity, sippity sup

SIX LITTLE MICE
Six little mice sat down to spin;
Pussy passed by and she peeped in;
"What are you doing, my little men?"
"Weaving coats for gentlemen."
"Shall I come in and cut off your threads?"
"No, no, Mistress Pussy, you'd bite off our heads."
"Oh, no, I'll not; I'll help you to spin."
"That may be so, but you can't come in!"

THREE LITTLE KITTENS
Three little kittens,
They lost their mittens,
And they began to cry,
"Oh, mother dear, we sadly fear
Our mittens we have lost."

"What! Lost your mittens,
You silly kittens!
Then you shall have no pie.
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
No, you shall have no pie."

The three little kittens,
They found their mittens,
And they began to cry,
"Oh, mother dear, see here, see here,
Our mittens we have found."

"Put on your mittens,
You happy kittens,
And you shall have some pie,
Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r,
Oh, let us have some pie."

The three little kittens
Put on their mittens,
And soon ate up the pie;
"Oh, mother dear, we greatly fear
Our mittens we have soiled."

"What! Soiled your mittens,
You silly kittens!"
Then they began to sigh,
"Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow."
Then they began to sigh.

The three little kittens,
They washed their mittens,
And hung them out to dry;
"Oh, mother dear , do you not hear
Our mittens we have washed?"

"What! Washed your mittens,
Then you're good kittens!
Now it's time for bed, bye-bye.
Purr-r, purr-r, purr-r,
It's time for bed, bye-bye."


**And last but not least... my all time favourite bedtime nursery rhyme...**

WINKEN, BLINKEN, AND NOD
Winken, Blinken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe,
Sailed off on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.

"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in the beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!"
Said Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long,
Ruffled the waves of dew.
The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in the beautiful sea.
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish—
Never afeard are we";
So cried the stars to the fisherman three:
Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam—
Then down from the skies came a wooden shoe
Bringing the fishermen home;
T'was all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought t'was a dream they'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea—
But I shall name you the fisherman three:
Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

Winken and Blinken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoes that sailed the skies
Is the wee one's trundle-bed.
So shut your eyes while your mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fisherman three:
Winken,
Blinken,
And Nod.

Christmas test is in 2 weeks

and I still have very little motivation to even pick up my pen!

Cooking mishaps rarely happen to me... but I do believe I was being punished today for skipping software engineering lecture. You see, I came back early so that I could cook some instant pasta for lunch and start on circuits tutorials. I happily dumped a packet of instant pasta into my big soup bowl together with milk and butter and hot water, put the lid on and stuck it in the microwave. 5 minutes later I returned with my new pretty oven mitts, showed them off to Ruby and then proceeded to take the lid off the bowl so that I could stir my pasta.

But the lid wouldn't come off.

I tried using a knife to prod the lid. It stayed on. Ruby suggested turning the bowl upside down into Rich's pot. The lid still stuck. I tried pouring hot water over the bowl. It still stuck. The laws of physics clearly were against me today. Rich came into the kitchen to see what the hallabaloo was about and tried to help me pry the lid open. Rich the army boy couldn't open it either. Rich soon returned with a pair of really ugly blue and yellow rubber gloves so that he could firmly grasp the lid and wrench it off the bowl. The lid stayed on as stubborn as super glue (???).

After half an hour, everyone gave up and left me in the kitchen, annoyed, hungry and with my lunch still stuck in the bowl. I decided to put it back into the microwave to see what would happen and lo and behold while my bowl was spinning around on that little microwave plate thingee, the lid popped open. I immediately grabbed the bowl out from the microwave and took the lid off before it had a chance to stick again.

Believe me, lunch never tastes so good until you have to fight your cutlery for it!

I've always wondered why I studied Computing for A Levels. For many eons (roughly the time it takes to mug A Levels to insanity) I questioned God as to why I was stuck in a class, well known for being mainland China, studying a subject that less than 30 people in the whole college were taking and I was not even vaguely excited about. And now I have found my long awaited answer:

To become the resident programmer and Delphi help desk of Linstead Hall!!!

Today after church, I was thinking how lovely the day was... blue skies, lovely weather, 3 mackerels to grill for lunch with unagi sauce... and while I was happily cooking in the kitchen, thinking I had the entire afternoon to slowly work out circuits... Salman comes knocking on the kitchen door. I've got some programming questions, he says. Let me cook my fish first, I say. Ok, I'll just set up my laptop in your room, he says. ??!!??!!! WTF???, I say.

So back to my room I go with my lovely mackerel steaming... take a look at Salman's program. WTF???? Illegal assignments everywhere. Functions that don't return anything. Salman, you CANNOT assign anything to a function! It's not a variable!!! Correct some stuff... let Salman think about it for awhile... just as I'm about to take a bite out of my mackerel... phone rings!!! It's Adrian. Got problems with the programming, he says. Everyone only looks for me the day before the assessment is due, I say. Can you help please, he says. #%)@$^&... oh alright, come on over, I say.

Before long, I'm navigating between two laptops, a program with two different approaches and very different variable names... both trying to do the same thing. My lunch is getting cold, but I can't abandon Salman and Adrian, not when assessment is due tomorrow. I check and check and double check to make sure they've covered every aspect of the problem given. 4 hours later two people leave my room with big accomplished smiles on their faces and I flop down on my bed, tired and brain dead. My cold mackerel took an hour to finish and I still hadn't completed any of my own work. Sometimes I wonder that I try to be a good samaritan, and yet complain...

Thank goodness Amar was cooking dinner and I could study computer architecture comfortably in his room where no one would be looking for me.

The computing help desk is CLOSED and very tired!

I don't really know what to make of Raffles Nite. I've never felt comfortable in a Raffles crowd unless it was Odac. And here I was again... It's strange though that so many people actually recognised me (maybe they were bluffing) but I just couldn't for the life of me remember who they were. And then there were my friends (non Rafflesians from Imperial and I haven't a clue what they were doing there) shouting out my name and making me turn beetroot. How do you make these people understand that back in junior college I was a quiet mousy person who kept a reasonably low profile? I think I'm just uncomfortable trying to blend my malaysian self with my RJ self. It just doesn't work. It seems as if I'm completely two different people!

Some clubbing days are good and some clubbing days were bad. Today was GOOD!

My feet are just killing me right now. Dancing for 4 hours non-stop feels so good while the music's still playing, but once the night is over, it's like a thousand hammers hammering away at the balls of my feet. Ouch! I need a foot massage.
Met alot of new people today, including an old primary school friend I still don't remember. How often can you tell someone "You remember me, don't you? I was one of the nerds in primary school. Yeah, one of the top ten geeks"

And now for some indo mee at 2 45 am... Amar is such a dear...

Why I love hall life...

1. You get an automatic group of friends who come up with wacky ideas like playing the Angel-Mortal game even though we pretty much know each other after 1 and a half months
2. You get to see Farhad and Eric handcuff Ruby's wrist to her ankle and then film it sadistically while Ruby hops around in distress
3. Sliding down banisters... or actually seeing Sachit straddle the banister. Not a pretty sight
4. You can swap room mates if you don't get along with yours
5. File sharing rocks! And so does Ajit's entire collection of Charmed, Smallville, Alias etc.
6. When you're bored you can randomly knock on someone else's room and bore the hell out of them too
7. Landing parties!

and that's just a fraction of it

p/s: Salvador Dali and Norman Rockwell rock!

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... I present to you my new room mate: Kristina Buch!

Why I have a new room mate is really a very long story, and I'll save it for one of those get together sessions when I get back home... but point is: I have a NEW room mate! And she's just so lovely!! She's a German and she's doing Biology so we are like total opposites academically (she doesn't fancy electronics and I hate cockroaches...) but we're a perfect match in every other way. We like to study in silence, we don't like noisy music, we don't like noisy people, we like keeping the room tidy and we are such nice people to have around. *cough*

And Kristina is just beautiful! She's tall, thin and blonde and she'd pass for a Claudia Schiffer with brains anyday! Already several guys have mentioned that they might pop by my room and I am *quite* sure I'm not the one they want to visit. *pout* But at least I'll get to meet more hall folk this way. *beam* *beam*

Someone posted this in my comments box. Really cracked me up! I wish I knew who this someone is...

One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead men got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
The deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and shot those two dead boys.
If you don’t believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man—he saw it too.

Sometimes you get that warm contented feeling after you've just stepped out from a refreshing shower, and the rain is softly pattering outside your window, a full moon is hanging in the sky reminding you of many past full moon memories, and you've just warmed up some milk with milo and Tori Amos is crooning in the background...

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses have gone ahead
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

... and maybe, just maybe, someone far far away still loves you...

I feel like a computing help desk today. I just ran up to Yi Shan's room, helped him to solve the assessment programming test. Then came back down to my room and spent half and hour on the phone answering programming questions from Soha. I swear if it wasn't because I actually like these people, there would be a few dead bodies lying around Linstead Hall right now.

I shall now pay homage to all computing help desk deities with their endless wisdom and patience that never wears thin, for their strength in keeping those swears and curses to themselves when incompetent non techies ask "Where's the ANY button?", for not hiring a sniper to shoot the incumbent fools who do not know of the existence of the HELP in their programs.

I think I need to take a bath to cool down... before I blow off the head of the next person who asks me to explain the use of declarations and assignments to them.

Just thought I'd do something completely random:

My Matrix Name is:

Cleo

hmm...

I hate dreaming. I hate having absolutely no control over my thoughts and my actions in this land between sleep and awake. I hate waking up and finding everything was as before and nothing has really changed.

Last night I was back in Singapore. Everyone was there. Everything was alright again. The tremendous amount of joy running through me could have popped a vein or two. And then I woke up and found myself back in London.

Ouch.

Shopping List for me...

I desperately need:
1. Book stands... to stop my text books from playing dominoes
2. A door stop... a desperate measure to make it obvious to everyone that I am actually in my room!
3. Digital Fundamentals by Thomas L. Floyd... so I can look like I'm actually studying
4. Les Miserables full piano score... explained in previous blog
5. A hat, like the kind Eponine wears in Les Mis... just because
6. To reorganise my life

I'm incredibly amused at how a blog entry on pyjama parties elicited immediate response from my girl friends, and none at all from the guys. Curiouser and curiouser.

I do believe my favourite place in the whole of London (besides the departure hall at Heathrow Airport) must be Covent Garden. I fell in love with the place since I discovered the Banana Bookshop when I was 13, from which I bought some of my most favourite randomly chosen books. There's something just so carnival-like and gypsy-ish about the place. I could roam the shops and markets for hours and believe there is magic dust in the air because everytime I turn I see something intriguing that I've not seen before. My purse empties quite magically too while I'm there. I can't put down the books, the little trinkets, the paintings... I so have to go back there next week!

Pyjama Parties bring to mind fluffy slippers, white cotton box shorts, pillow fights and all-night truth or dares. Here in Linstead Hall we had none of that. Instead, I was dressed even less decently than what I normally wear to sleep and that was just no fight for what the other girls were wearing. Think: girls practically in their lingerie with bathrobes on, guys in bathrobes and towels with nothing else on, guys in boxers (honestly if you are going to try and pull that off at least have a body to show for it!) and plenty of beer and JD coke and drinking games. That's London for you! No make overs or gossiping... more like 2 hours of chor tai tee and then another hour of watching what I swear was porn but what the guys insisted was a sex documentary (come on! watching some horny idiots trying out as many kamasutra positions as possible in one minute just to create a new world record... and you think you're still trying to pull the wool over my eyes?... it was 22 out of 35 positions, btw).

'Would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat
'I don't much care where,' said Alice
'Then it doesn't much matter which way you go,' said the Cat
'... So long as I get somewhere,' added Alice as an explanation
'Oh, you;re sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if only you walk long enough.'
LEWIS CARROLL, ALICE IN WONDERLAND

It's not every week that you find yourself crying buckets for the first half and then laughing till your sides split in the second half. I'm not completely ok. I won't ever be completely ok. You guys have been wonderful, but I just don't want to talk... let me live in de nile for awhile.
My friends here have been absolutely wonderful as well
// Thank you Cheryl for appearing at my door like a miracle and suggesting we go guy-hunting! You're such a dear even though you're the most boy-crazy mauritian girl I have ever met!//
And my Malaysian and Singapore kakis have just no idea how much they've helped me just LIVE this week! It's been a crazy crazy week spent...

... playing table tennis after dinner
"The keganasan of Soha vs the Lotus Palm of Amar"
"What's the point of playing if Soha's only aim is to kill Amar?"
"Who's got Zi Ming's balls?" *Loud howling laughter* "I meant the PING PONG balls!!"

... singing along to the piano
"Charlotte, play your signature tune!" Me: "But I've had enough of Vanessa Carlton!!! That's the 3rd person I've taught it to!!!"
(n.b. Zi Ming is the first army scholar I know who has an incredible ear for the piano and can sing!! Luke Goh should be ashamed!)

... walking to High Street Kensington at 11pm in the rain and ending up at McDonalds

... watching Ring 2 in Amar's room
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Me: "What the..."
"No, no... it's just that in the dark with your long hair you look like Sadako... and aaaahhh! Don't stare at me like that!!"

... auditioning for Malaysian Nite as the spoilt daughter of Aaron
"Eh, Charlotte is just so natural as a spoilt, rich brat"
Me: ????????????

... shopping for 5 hours at Selfridges with Amar
"4 hours and we've only covered the ground floor and basement? You're worse than a girl, do you know that Amar?"

... cooking chicken curry for several hungry Msians/Sporeans
"I think it's too sour"
Me: "Who told me to add one whole tub of yoghurt, huh? And you DARE complain its sour!!"

and that's not even the whole of it!!!