to think my ballet teacher told me to quit ballet 10 years ago...

and with Malaysian Night just 3 weeks away, every single free afternoon is being taken up by dance practices. Yes! Dance! I'm not singing, I'm not playing the guitar, I'm not even acting... but I'm dancing??? And not just one dance. THREE dances (and that's not including dikir barat)!!! At first I thought I was just going to join the banghra - fun! fast! About 20 people on stage! And no one would be able to spot me... then I got conned (no threatened more like it...) into chereographing the finale Chinese dance (joke of the century!) due to a lack of first year Chinese girls in IC. Then today, as I was running back to Linstead in the freezing cold... I saw Tao waving to me from inside the dining hall. I waved back. But he kept on waving and gesturing to me to come inside. So fine, I walked into the dining hall... nice sociable me... and found Nicole, Ayish and Yanti practising the contemporary dance for MNite. And before I knew what was happening, I'd given up my entire lunch break to be the fourth member of the dance (despite numerous protests and "reeeally!! I *was* kicked out of ballet class!!!" and "can I please stand behind Tao so I can be blocked from the audience?").

Dancing is a world apart from singing. When I'm on stage with my guitar, I can totally believe that I'm charming and captivating. I know how to bluff my way with songs that make it sound as if I have talent. I'm never scared, I'm never afraid of messing up... and even if I do, I know how to cover it up and smile. But dancing is different. Even without an audience, I feel as if my limbs won't do what I want them to do because I am watching myself. I'm constantly trying to remember what step comes next, which foot first? right or left? Palms turned in or out? Dancing with the professionals - Nicole (ballet), Ayish (classical indian) and Yanti (Latin and ballroom) makes me (ballet school drop out?) feel even more nervous. I'm not sure why I'm doing this. I love performing but... hell, what am I doing???

p/s: Nearly forgot... it's the Tai Kor's birthday today. Feliz Cumpleaños Lee-yo-nal!