I've been making really good use of my time these last two days. I've been surfing on Survivor : The Amazon.
I'm not exactly a reality show buff... I'm relatively new to this whole thing. It all started with The Bachelor. I know, stupid Malaysian channels didn't show it, but we MUST forgive our TV stations for loyally giving us great shows AFTER they are into their second or third season else where in the world. Well, what got me (and the other 14 girls on my hostel floor) hooked on to an egocentric MCP show that was basically about a Harvard graduate bachelor who 'dates' 30 women and after each episode narrows them down to 15, 8, 4, 3, 2, and his final bride? I guess it was the suspense of waiting to see which girls would be given the rose at the end of every episode and move on to the next. Perhaps it was to see if the bachelor was as Harvard University graduate charming in personality as he looked on paper. Or maybe it was just to see how far he'd go with his dates (who mind you were at the most on their 2nd date with him)... and yes of course we cried for the pride of women everywhere when Amanda eagerly jumped into bed with the creep. Oh... I'm sorry, is this a PG-16 blog? Nah... Reality shows just have this ability to tug at your heartstrings and boil your blood... remember that episode where we wanted to hurl our shoes at Alex for dumping Shannon, who was way too good for him anyway... and we applauded the way she held her head up high and gave it back to 2 inch high embarassed Alex? You go, sweet heart! And yes the shocker at the end of it all... HE... CHOSE... AMANDA! Miss top heavy - what are we waiting for? - snog a grope - Amanda?? Why were we so blind? Why did we think Trista the Miami Heat Dancer was going to wear the ring? I mean Trista was so much more interesting AND she was pretty AND she was funny AND she was closer to Alex's age AND... oh yeah, I forgot... we're not guys AND Amanda did have a D-size cup.
After The Bachelor (oh yes... you can read the most scathing reviews on it here ) I got hooked onto the Amazing Race... naturally... But that isn't really reality, that's a race. It's like watching a less exhausting version of eco-challenge with really interesting and good looking participants! And at the end of every episode I wish I could be in the race too. And like the rest of the world I cannot believe that the whiny brat of a Flo won! But that's reality isn't it?
Well, now I'm into Survivor: The Amazon. Actually SCRUBS takes priority over Survivor but I still get to catch the last 40 minutes. Now, the Survivor concept is really interesting to me. I, like everyone else, feel like I can identify with them. I'm an experienced camper, I love facing the elements, and even though ODAC puts up lovely warm dome tents, I still prefer snuggling asleep in my poncho under the stars. So I've been through all that and I know how different relationships become in the outdoors. But what puzzles me is that being a happy camper isn't going to help you stay, but you'd be booted out faster than you can say immunity. So I watch it to see how far they can go on conniving and scheming in the outdoors, because to me it seems all out of place. Like placing lawyers in the country side. But of course everyone has their quack advice for the Survivor candidates. I'm rooting for Christy to win.

I find myself looking through a maze
My idle mind has given up all sense!
Complications and fabrications
My heart's being torn up by my own hands!
Did you not see me?
Did you look beyond me?
Is that where you thought you saw your dream
My friend has turned to foe
Yet I'm aiding you to go
Go ahead and break my heart
And blow away the pieces
So hurt can't find me again
I thought I could escape those agony stories
I figured they won't happen to me
I'm lucky I know
But I've been lead down the wrong road
And now everyone's back in on me
But I can't scream or shout
No, not aloud
I'm the hunter trapped in my own cage
I've lost to my best friend
It's an old adage
Will love find me here, I'm unsure
If it will even knock on the door
Where butterfly kisses have found their masters
I've been shielded from getting near
How could trust have turned away
And betrayal come to play?
I don't understand what I don't know
Help me! Cry my banished cries!
My hear has no where to go

23/11/98

Don't ask. You'll only know if you know...