An imagination is a very dangerous thing. My boyfriend who is currently serving torture in the army (OK, I kid myself, he's brainwashed to love the army!) sent me an SMS at 5am on monday morning saying he was very sick. I wake up at 10am and my mind goes into a panic. I open the papers and read about that virus spreading in Singapore and my mind thinks RED ALERT!!! I go through the day praying that he misplaces his macho stubborness and reports sick and is immediately tended to by trained army doctors who will save his life. I wait and wait and wait for a phone call. Phone insists on remaining lifeless. Wonder if boyfriend is in the same state, because there is no reason not to call if he is still a)mobile, b)conscious, c)alive. Imagination now runs wild and nightmares occur all night long. Wake up this morning and grab phone which is right next to pillow, but it's still in the same lifeless condition as the night before. Oh God, don't forsake me now! Try to think rationally... if it was anything serious, surely a family member would have contacted me by now. Try to think happy thoughts and go to violin class. After violin class realise there's a voice message on my phone. Heart sighs in relief at the sound of my boyfriend's voice saying "so cute!", probably in response to my perky answering phone message and not because some cute nurse walked past.
Anyway, no cause for alarm. Greg IS still sick. AND of course REFUSES to report sick and still insists on going for the 16 km march. Sigh............

I'm feeling generous today. I think I'll insert an extra poem.

First I think I'm running round in circles
Making no sense of no end
Second I'm feeling nothing
All out of the blue
Third I feel like all the world's a stage
And I'm the audience
Last I think I'm out of my mind
So confused
Spinning, Turning, Morphing, Twisting
Changing faces old and new
Dunno where I'm walking 'cause
each road leads back to you!
Oh guilty pans of treating you like junk
Each love song on the radio is making me
torn apart

It's been more than 5 years... and only lately did I realise what a bitch I was for treating you like junk. But I still don't get it. Why did you adore me? Did you not realise how young and naive a kid I was? That I couldn't understand the attention, the infatuation, that I was just a very confused girl. Who hurt you. I'm sorry...