And so I'm back, from outer space... I just walked in to find myself with this strange look upon my face... bah, I won't be corny. I was awoken at 6am this morning (actually I was already awake having not slept a wink the entire night as I was being eaten alive by mosquitoes) and dragged all the way to the Mount Erskine cemetary in Penang, armed with cangkul, spade, pick axe, hell notes, joss sticks, candles, eggs, fatt koh (that pink cake thing) and an assortment of cups and saucers. If you think 7am is an ungodly hour to be visiting graves, picture my surprise to find no available parking spaces and people with their own assortment of Qing Ming tools decorating the hilly (good feng shui!!) area with flags and colourful hell notes and even confetti!
Now it's not everyday that I find myself clearing the graves of my great great grandparents (whose tomb inscriptions I cannot read) so I was rather proud of myself today imagining myself to be the perfect filial great great grandchild, planting joss sticks in the ground, burning the paper ingots and hell notes, offering tea and wine... but 2 hours later this filial great great grandchild was kinda pooped and wondering if I'll still have to do this when the older generation finds it too difficult to climb those hills and dales. I wonder if the *younger* generation will do this for my grave when I'm dead and gone... or will they just chuck me in a marble hole in the wall? Comforting thoughts, huh?

Leave the phone off the hook
Shut the doors to my world
Put out the sign that says
Closed till I've recovered
Or in other words
Leave me alone
Stay out of my sight
Don't call, don't even write
Thanks, but no thanks
I can handle myself on my own
Don't worry, I'm just fine
I won't drown in a pool of sorrow
Or burn in my wrath of despair
I borrowed sensitivity from my mother
It's been 20 years now
And I've kept it in good care
And your job is to
Leave me alone
Stay out of my sight
Don't call, don't even write
Thanks, but no thanks
I can handle myself on my own
A little later
I'll call you when I feel better
But just a little later
You won't matter
To me, myself, my life...

I really like this one. I think it was one of my best. Very Jewel inspired. I even tried putting a tune to it, imagining myself all country singer like, strumming my guitar to these words. I think this poem reflects a part of me not many people know. That I actually like being alone, when there's too much going on and I can't juggle everything, I like to crawl into my own shell and hibernate for awhile... and I wish no one would find me there.