Oh, what a circus!

I called my mum yesterday after disappearing into the abyss for nearly 3 weeks. My mum's pretty good at yanking me out of the abyss though. She sends me guilt-ridden smses.

"Your dad's not feeling well" - Yes mum, but a cold is a cold - "... and we musn't take things for granted because he's still in remission"

or "Your little sister misses her kor-kor and chae-chae" - Yes mum, but when I call she's too busy watching The Next Top American Model.

"Your grandfather just left KL and went back home, leaving your grandmother behind" - Now, that's new! AND interesting to boot.

My grandparents have fought each other with such venomous rage for approximately 50 years. That's a good waste of a lifetime. My grandpa's an awfully nice old man, even if he asks me the same question three times. I put it down to him being hard of hearing these days. However, nice as he is, he was a strict civil servant and ran his home like the Penang court of justice - and that included my grandmother.

I have nothing nice to say about my grandma, which may appear to be positively shocking to most. But you spend most of your childhood having to pick out 4D numbers and being scolded for ludicrous reasons, most of them related to just being a child, and you'd have nothing nice to say either. My grandma never doted on her grandchildren. In fact I applaud how she's rather tolerated us. There are all the usual hugs and kisses when we've travelled the 4 hours up to Penang to see her, but after that it's "go away and don't make any noise!". Lovely childhood memories that.

And nothing scars a childhood (apart from the lack of doting grandmothers - I have no grandparents on my dad's side) more than your grandparents practically hating each other. It just needs something as small as a drop of soya sauce to spark a world war in the house. My mother, aunts and uncle bear the scars of their battles. My cousins try to make our own happy worlds, but we're affected too. My eldest cousin once said there has never been a family more blessed and yet doesn't recognise it. Eccentricity is clearly a strong trait in this family.

However for all their long-drawn fights, I've never seen my grandparents apart. But clearly something clicked in my grandmother's head when she flung open the front door of our house a week ago and announced to my mother that she was staying and NOT going home. Dammit! Why do I always miss all the drama! It's a welcome ceasefire. And my grandmother who for sometime has been complaining of suffering from every ailment in the world is suddenly very able-bodied. My grandpa is enjoying the luxury of the peace and quiet in which to read his Chinese newspapers.

And I am wondering what could possibly make two people who have nothing nice to say to each other everyday, stay together for so long? 50 odd years is a long time to suffer somebody 24 hours a day.

Nevertheless I'm doing what most of my family is doing - kicking off my shoes, sitting back, and letting the real show begin...