Thoughts on a number 10 bus

(or random sightings of Oxford Street being decked up for Christmas when you're stuck in a traffic jam)

"It's almost Christmas, but I can't recognise Christmas in the concept behind Selfridges' androgynous mannequins. Avant garde window displays are in. Baby Jesus is out.

"An old woman poses beside Marks & Spark's 'mix and match 3-for-2' posters. Why does she want a photo with bright pink baubles screaming '3-for-2'? "But then again she looks like she just arrived from Andorra. The don't have pink baubles over there, do they?

"It's starting to look festive along Oxford Street, even if it's a warm 16 degrees outside. [n.b. this was written about 2 weeks ago, before the temperature nose-dived off the scale!]. You can't ignore global warming effects now - at the height of its glory.

"A blind man is playing his violin outside Debenhams. I feel for him. I can't even play a violing with both eyes open. IS it all about musical feel? I don't know. I study music but I don't feel it.

"I like the penguins at John-Lewis. I obviously lead a superficial hydro-plastic life. Two in one? Lasts for longer? As good as the real thing? I'll take it. And as if to endorse it, I find myself staring at a crackling fire place... on a plasma screen TV. Nothing's real except virtual reality. You've gotta love technology. I should know. I study at the heart of technological innovation where our mission statement is to cure cancer and make everyone else fat and lazy. It's all about automated voice control and self dusting vacuum cleaners. Here's a toast to science.

"Ponchos are not in season anymore. I have three. Dammit.




And then I decided to jump off the bus, forget about heading to Tottenham Court Road, and meander down Wardour Road until I hit Leicester Square where Lionel was waiting with a mini panettone and gelato! What self-absorbed thoughts I think of when I'm alone...