I took a walk...

It's dark out. Not the 5pm winter twilight kind of dark.

Proper dark.

My muscles are aching crazily after an overenthusiastic weekend at the gym. Hobbling past the library, out Falmouth gate in the cool evening breeze towards Sainsbury's. Nostalgia hit pretty quick.

A weird kind of nostalgia. Bits of 2003, 2004 and 2005 all rolled into one. As if forming a dizzy patchwork design of memories.

The aching pain after M-Nite dance practices in the first year. And I saw myself, gingerly making my way back through the darkness of Princes Gardens, back to Linstead. Looking out for the light on one of the sixth floor windows. Maybe Lionel will still be awake to hear me grouse and grumble. Maybe he'd be writing Spanish essays and I shouldn't bother him.

The lights bring about a strange glow to Gloucester road as the remaining drops of rain glisten like watching eyes in the dark. And I see myself, running home to Emperor's Gate after long hours of M-Nite rehearsals. Running home to the welcoming warmth of its kitchen. Maybe Yi Shan and Lu would be teasing each other like little kids. Maybe Lionel will be waiting with an episode of The Amazing Race to watch on the sofa under fleece blankets and I'll fall asleep before the hands on the clock touch midnight.

The cars racing down Cromwell Road towards Earl's Court make me want to follow them. Back to the strange rustic mess that is Earl's Court road. And I see myself, Sainsbury's groceries in hand, a bunch of experimental recipes in my head, and my keys are nowhere to be found as I buzz the doorbell to the apartment and Lu answers with reluctance. Maybe there'd be CSI on the telly. Maybe Lionel will be up in the attic blasting sappy James Blunt music. Maybe there'd be a welcoming, cosy duvet to snuggle under and a plump and well-fed boyfriend to cuddle.

And then I find myself walking the other way down Cromwell Road. Back towards Linstead. It still feels strange and unfamiliar to be on the other side of college. But would I rather be walking the other way?

I've been blogging a lot these days, you say? Yeah, naturally when I've been so used to constant company (i.e. taking for granted my being able to bug Lionel at any given moment, even when he's sleeping), when I'm in my room in halls and there's no one to talk to... I just have to talk to myself.