A rose by any other name...

You know those rather annoying forwarded emails you get which ask you to count the number of letters/vowels/animal sounds in your name and multiply it by 7, add 5 and then divide it by 172? In your head? You can even replace [name] with [date of birth] for a more varied approach or even [number of times a week you wear green]. And after such awful brain teasers, you are often required to match the result with a look-up table which tells you more about yourself and what fate has chosen for your future/partner/sex life all based on the above complex mathematical equations.

I never counted on fate knowing math before the evolution that was the internet.


Anyway, Michelle's blog had this little look-up table alphabet which apparently gives you the meaning of your name, which goes something like this:

A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE
B : you are loved by alot of ppl
C : you're wild and crazy
D : You have trouble trusting people
E : You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people
F : People totally adore you
G : You are very friendly and undestanding
H : You have very good personality and looks
I : Love is something you deeply believe in
J : Everyone loves you
K : You like to try new things
L : You always make other people smile when you smile
M : You are beautiful, and sexy
N : Your sex is unforgetable
O : You love foreplay
P : You are very friendly and understanding
Q : You are a hypocrite
R : Someone loves you
S : People think you are so sexy
T : You are one of the best in bed
U : You are really a chilling material
V : You are not judgemental
W : You are very broad minded
X : You never let people tell you what to do
Y : you make every experience great
Z : You're Super cool

Apparently matching the letters in your name to the table provides a nice little portrait of a super-duper, ultra hot, oh so nice you!.

However, I couldn't help thinking, had my parents gotten my name wrong, I'd be this:

H : You have very good personality and looks
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE
R : Someone loves you
L : You always make other people smile when you smile
O : You love foreplay
T : You are one of the best in bed

Adding a C and an E just makes me wild and crazy and fun when meeting someone new... and still all of the above! Adding an extra T does not help at all...

And if they spelt it the way some people *cough*Malaysians*cough* think my name ought to be spelt:

S : People think you are so sexy
H : You have very good personality and looks
A : YOU'RE A HOTTIE
L : You always make other people smile when you smile
L : You always make other people smile when you smile
O : You love foreplay
T : You are one of the best in bed

... I'd be one HELL of an Onion!!

Had my parents consulted the Internet before I was born, I might have been named something else.

On hindsight, you'd have thought any sane parent wouldn't give their child a name which has a female prostitute embedded in it!