I feel so completely assaulted! Today I was poked, pinched, prodded and plucked like the kampung chickens at the market... and I swear after the beautician was through with me I made a sacred vow to myself to never ever allow even the tiniest pore on my face to become clogged... lest my mummy drags me to a beautician again to have every blemish on my face removed. If just going through a routine facial is THIS agonising, I cannot imagine what kind of horror genre plastic surgery falls under. I think I nearly reached a state of nirvana while silently meditating "No beauty without pain..." and trying not to pass out.

Isn't it funny how loneliness can become so poignant, the more company you see? Everyone's crowding around me, but when I reach out my hand, the one I want to hold on to isn't there and I feel it even more. Words provide some comfort. The sound of a voice helps to bridge the distance. But ultimately... he's not there. And I think I'm numb to it, until I walk past other happy couples, and then the sound of silence seems so loud, the void so tangible... I want to scowl at all those couples, and scream and say "It's not fair! I hate you for being together! For being physically together! You can hug him! You can kiss her! And you can look each other in the eye and read the expressions on their face! And you don't know how much all that means... until it's taken away! ".