I didn't blog yesterday because I was way too tired. Anyway here is todays
I suppose I was never fond of the past or the future. I live for the present. I hate planning for the future, knowing there is already a fixed set of expectations waiting for me. At times it seems that if I live according to what everyone expects me to do, things will be much easier, I’d face fewer decisions. And then I get all ridiculous and long to do things like restore heritage buildings or revamp the entire KL, PJ bus routes or write for the National Geographic… and I still don’t think they are insane ideas, as you would!
Personally I think this was a very badly versed poem, but it’s frank. Yup, that’s my 14 year old self telling my 20 year old self now that I have deserted myself and grown up.


I don’t ever want to grow up,
It may sound like a line from ‘Peter Pan’ but
Deep inside I know
I’ll always want to be
Mummy’s baby
Daddy’s little girl

Why must I be hastened?
Why do I have to act mature and serious?
It’s a free country after all
But everyone expects you to be realistic and straight forward
Especially when it comes to responsibilities
Which accumulate with each cm you grow

I’d like to be innocent once more
I’d like never to think of the future
Especially with no grown ups and their silly insincere grins asking:
“What do you wanna be when you grow up?”
To tell the truth, I want to be a child again
To seize each day as it comes
To never worry what’s going to happen and what’s not
To challenge problems when they come
And to be a child of love

30/7/1997