wishing stars

Really adorable link... courtesy of xk... which is courtesy of *ahem*

Nah! I blogged! PLUS I even mentioned you! Happy now? Tsk... where on earth do I find all these obnoxiously demanding friends?

I haven't been online for almost a week and... WHOA!!! It's been agonising not being able to blog, and now everything I wanted to say is all tangled up in my head and I've never been very good at undoing knots (tying knots yes... undoing them... ouch! brain ache!)

Will blog later... presently clearing truckloads of emails... mostly junk...

Stupid Comments are on maintenence...

I Love You Toadally and Udderly!
Hehe! Check it out! It's really cute!

I've finished reading Harry Potter and The Order of The Pheonix. I'm gloating because I guessed right who would die. I'm getting as good as Sybil Trelawney! I didn't enjoy this book as much though. Harry was just too self pitying, whiny, anal retentive and plain bitchy for me! Hermione and Ron were bickering non-stop! And it just wasn't magical enough. Or else... I've just grown old...

Anu sent this to me. Personally I think she and Sugi LOVE sending me all kinds of 'personality explanation' mails =)

* Symbol : The Sea Goat
* Ruling House : Tenth House
* Ruling Planet : Saturn
* Gemstone : Blue Sapphire
* Element : Earth
* Most compatible with : Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn
* Can be good with : Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces
* A 50-50 chance with : Aries, Sagittarius, Leo
* Doubtful with : Gemini, Aquarius, Libra
[That makes me compatible with Sachpal, good with Anu, 50-50 with Luke (Nicholson) and doubtful with Greg and Sugi... WOW!]

Capricorn Personality
Capricorns are diligent, conscientious, hardworking and cautious, seldom allowing themselves any sort of permissiveness [Read: stuffy about following rules, dotting the i's and crossing all the t's]; this makes them among the most reliable people to work with [yeah! They nag everyone else who isn't up to standard]. You endure hardship well and can be very tolerant, slogging your way up life's steepest climbs and climb you must [well... I DO like rock-climbing, come to think of it...]. You are highly ambitious and will work your way up with patience and hard work - exactly like the mountain goat that represents your Zodiac sign [SEE! It was innate nature that made me finish all my FM assignments!]. You have an admirable sense of discipline and a good head for managing finances [yup! Greg pays for most things]. Most of you are self-contained and tend to carve your own way. Those who know you well will admire you for your sense of duty, your selflessness in service and your devotion [Er... the Odacians tend to grumble about my nagging]. Although not exactly the centre of attraction at parties, you have a sense of humour that many find attractive [ROFL!]. You are sure-footed and most of your productivity is the result of the confidence you bring to your work. You tend to spend far too much energy in being the achiever. You also tend to be moody and fairly self-destructive [Oh really? Got a bone to pick haven't you! *glare!*].

Capricorn Lover
Your ardent and incurabe romantic yearning for true love, which is checked by Saturn -- the stern planet of discipline. It commands you to be calm, practical and serious. To top it all your practicality and sensibility ensure that you snag the right partner in marriage who can be a good parent and do you proud. Those belonging to the zodiac signs of Taurus [Shaun??? Ravi???], Scorpio [Thank goodness, don't know any scorpions] and Virgo [Damian??? *cough blood*] will make good partners for Capricorns. Nevertheless, love for a stable home and loyalty towards the spouse are your primary concerns. Man or woman, Capricorns love their home, but they are reverent about family ties -- be these their own or the ones created with the partner. If you marry a Capri [Sachpal??? Rajiv Lopes??? NO WAY!] then be prepared to love your in-laws, no matter what. They seldom marry in haste and abhor divorce, but when it happens it is final.They are pretty good and strict parents always concerned with the best for their children's future.
[0uch! Fell off my chair... laughing too hard]

Capricorn Professional
Capricorns make good business people. Shrewd and hardworking, it is unlikely that you will take any rash decisions. You are ambitious and even if you do not have a career of your own, you will make sure your spouse climbs the ladder [NO ONE is supposed to tell ANY future husband of mine THIS!]. You are not up to too much competition and will work at your own pace and deliver the best you can. Capricorns will
do well in the fields of academics [School Marm Yeow... Nah...], industry [Not in THIS country, mate!] and even agriculture [statistically 3 out of 5 plants die on me. This includes the simple green beans which failed to sprout, although everyone else in my standard 4 class suceeded in producing a few leaves]. Dealing with antiques is also a good profession for you [Do my grandparents count?]. Money rarely comes to you as an unexpected windfall. It will come through hard work and it will come in a bit late [WHAT? Even if I whip my spouse to climb the ladder quicker?]. You should, however, settle down comfortably by the time you are in your early forties.

Capricorn Traveller
You love high places and blossom on mountains [Not if my travelling buddies are Mr. Shah and Grace Lim... Sorry, only Odacians will get this]. Though you would love to go on a luxurious and comfortable holiday but you are equally frugal about spending money even on a holiday...and keep your expenses in check [that's alright... shopping in Malaysia is still the cheapest... cuti-cuti Malaaay-siaaah!]. Even on holiday you keep yourself disciplined and active; no overindulgence for you. You enjoy historical places and the romance surrounding them [This is astonishingly very true! But they forgot Art Museums!!!].

Capricorn Teens
This young lady is both studious and diligent; she doesn't see much beyond work. [well... work isn't always academic work is it?] She will figure at the top of her class, and that's just the first step for someone as ambitious as her [EEPS!!! Were they spying on me?]. She is generally friendly [yeah! I sat alone in class in Form 5, and everyone knows how 'friendly' a classmate I was in RJ!], a trait which helps her to achieve her goals, but she'll need a lot of external support [ODAC!] to prevent her from taking life too seriously [Like xk and shan teaching me that not finishing tutorials is no big deal!]. Conservative by nature, the Capricorn lass is realistic. Her cautious approach to life does not allow her to be a daredevil [but when I am a daredevil good things happen to me! Explain THAT! hmmph!]. Her exceptional organisational skills help her to tide over most crises and attain her goals.
The Capricorn lad will rarely find any leisure since he will be busy chalking out future plans. Serious by nature, he has no time for flippant socialising and has his mind on more important matters. Of
course he doesn't want to be rude but his passion for getting things done often makes him a little bossy. In his leisure time the Capricorn boy loves to indulge in competition, especially in sports, and he finds it very
difficult to cope with defeat. For that he needs the support of his compatriots. One-to-one competition also appeals to him. Practical and reliable, he can be trusted with any new responsibility. At the end of the day, a Capricorn boy likes to be surrounded by the spoils of his success. He has been striving for it all through the day. Someday his toils will pay off and he will rule the world.
[Ouch! Fell of chair again... was thinking of Sachpal and.... HAHAHAHAHA!!! ROFL!!!]

Capricorn Kids
The Capricorn kid starts behaving like an adult from a very early age [Venki will never forgive me for being able to read when I was just a year old, right?]. An entrepreneur from the beginning, this child has ambitious plans to touch the sky someday and what is more surprising, it is all chalked out in great detail! [Er... well... when I was 8 I had already made a contract with 4 friends that we'd open a kindergarten and I had even named it, assigned the various staff roles and drawn up all class time tables] Being a cautious player, of course he or she is not going to attempt something that could possibly fail. An excellent sense of responsibility enables this kid to have a way with peers. There lurks a perfectionist [beams at mint condition Barbie dolls] in every Capricorn child, who's ready to walk that extra mile.

Capricorn Luck
It is the darker colours, the colours of night, that bring you luck [and also statistically cause more road accidents at night because drivers can't see you...]. Black, brown, blue and grey will be good colours to wear [No! no! no! I just bought a pair of pink slippers, a peach jacket and 5 purple skirts! I insist on a new colour test!], while in gemstones you should choose sapphire, amethyst, garnet and black onyx. Numbers 1, 4 and 8 and those that add up to these [which includes 2,3,5,6,7... er that's ALOT of lucky numbers, huh?] prove lucky for Capricorns. Saturday is your lucky day [Yeah! It's NO SCHOOL day!]. Saturn is your ruler and your element is earth. [Well, I'm not really the space travelling kind... earth is fine...]

I have this nagging feeling I've forgotten alot of birthdays this month. If this concerns you, please know that it really wasn't intentional at all! I don't loathe you, despise you, or wish you were completely out of my life... I just forgot to check my birthday diary.

Harry Potter and The Order of The Pheonix will be out tomorrow. I'm getting the heeby jeebies. But I promise I won't be queueing at Kinokuniya at 6am.

Have I ever told you
How much I love waking up
To gently parting raindrops
And the sound of lulling winds
As nobody can be heard
But a background of steady breathing
Reassures me that the world
Is so near
Just so near to me
I could fall back
Into dreamland once again

NUS documents have finally arrived in the mail!!!

Dear CHARLOTTE YEOW SHU CHEN
On behalf of NUS, I wish to congratulate you for being selected as a recipient of the ASEAN Undergraduate Scholarship for Engineering (NUS) course. blah blah blah... To accept our offer, please complete the enclosed reply form and return it to us by 18 June 2003.

Erm... isn't today the 19th of June already? So much for Singaporean punctuality and efficiency!!!

NUS = National University of Singapore

?????I dunno what to blog today?????

I finally bought Tony Parson's Man and Wife because it went from RM42.90 to RM33.90 and is now in smaller print. I hope it's like the first book. Please let it be like the first book! I also bought Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. I bought it because the cover is so funky! (and also because it was the winner of the Guardian First Book award 2002, but mainly because the cover is so FUNKY!).

Twilight
If I could catch it
On the tip of my tongue
Let its soft lullaby
Veil my soul
Change this darkness
Into rainbows
Forget that the road ends in reality
Just tread quietly
Behind the ghost of a dream
Pretend for now my world exists
In this fairy tale land
And no cold water
Dripping down my back
Could unlock the gates
To this fantasy

I'm obsessed with twilight. I used to think it was the witching hour because it seemed a more magical time than midnight. I mean, midnight is no different from 10pm or 2am... but twilight is a myriad of colours and has a partial eerie quality when daylight turns into darkness.

It's 10:30 am and I'm sitting in front of my comp, still in my nightie trying to figure out how much energy it will take for me to haul my entire self into the shower. I haven't even thought of breakfast yet. To make tuna pate or not to make tuna pate? My mum will balk at the amount of cream cheese I put into it and proceed to haul me to the gym to work it off. I just don't get how mum expects me to survive on greens and low fat stuff for the rest of my life. Anything with carbohydrates is EVIIIIIIL! She makes me take the rice out of sushi and the glutinous rice out of... erm... jung (glutinous rice). She nags at me when I butter my potatoes. She glares if I even reach for the ice cream tub in the fridge. And she prophecises that if I don't stop snacking I'm going to look like my aunties.
Ok THAT prophecy IS scary, because as much as I love my 7 aunties, I really truly fear looking like an oversized dumpling.
But when I think about it again, it IS due to my mum that I have the strangest of eating habits. Like how I completely avoid chocolate in any form (bars, cakes, M&Ms, ice cream, brownies!) because mum just never gave me chocs when I was a kid (and I really think the taste is revolting!). And it is because of mum that I have no fondness for sweet things, that I hate eating mee or anything in noodle form, that I have a strange love for milk and eggs and mushrooms and celery and seafood!
My brother thinks I'm very weird. But that's because he eats everything. Including the food off my plate. I always knew there was something wrong when people said I was such a skinny child and my brother was a roly poly pig!
I'm blathering... I don't even know if that's a real word...



Twilight

It was a twilight evening
When the sky spun rosy hues
I lost my soul down the woodland path
To the seductive lure of my view
The sweet scent of grass tranquillised me
The faint glow of light mesmerised
My mind swept away by the winds lullaby
Traded my soul for that beauteous prize
And as the sky melted into darkness
My soul danced a waltz with the breeze
Exhilaration permitted perchance a journey
Of an insight to the world of dreams
And as I drew near the end of the path
With reality waiting at its foot
I sighed as my soul remained trapped inside
Twilight’s timeless youth

When I was in Eton Hall, I always returned to my hostel around sunset. And for all that Eton Hall was the hostel of horror, the surrounding landscape was just mesmerising! You have to see it to believe such a place exists... like a land spun out of a fairy tale, from the lush green valleys that we traversed across when we had nothing to do to the quaint houses we would walk past wondering who lived inside them, and the houses we thought were haunted, the confusing roads we'd try to figure out, the deserted hospital which let our imaginations run as to why it was deserted, Eton Hall really was a beautiful place.

I forgot to put a poem... I'm getting old...

I think if I live
In this life
I just don’t want to know
What’s going on
Beyond my rose coloured window
Close my eyes to what
Is going on
In the dark shadows
Of the Devil’s cloak
I don’t want it
To tug at my heart
Not with my hands bound
Behind my back
And I can’t reach out to touch no one

Blogger ate yesterday's blog. Buggy blogger.

Whenever I think my government cannot sink any lower in ridiculous ideas, they come up with National Service to prove me wrong.
[Looks up into the heavens and wails: Why, God? Why???]
As I read through the NS outline in The Star (National Service for 18-year-olds to start in February) I just cannot accept that my poor brother has a 1 in 5 chance of being subjected to this idiotic jab at restoring patriotism in the young. Please, please, give me something to believe that the government is NOT run by hare-brained poofs!
The more I think about it, the more I cannot accept that something as major as National Service is being implemented without any justification. To quote the Defence Minister, Najib (the guy who totally screwed up the Education Ministry by doing close to nothing!) : Malaysia’s National Service Programme (is)different from those implemented in other countries because its main thrust (is) to promote national unity, and not for defence purposes.
I know I'm not very logical most of the time, but even I know that 3 months in what looks like summer camp is NOT going to promote national unity anymore than 11-13 years of national education! And how do we know that the 100,000 selected guinea pigs are right for NS? If the objective of NS is not for defence purposes, why are they going to be taught to handle guns and other fire-arms? And what about the compensation for loss of education during those 3 months? And this country doesn't have the adequate facilities for National Service, do they not realise that deaths have occured in National Service? Are the instructors qualified to handle these young children barely out of teenhood? And the flaming idiocy of it all is that our country is too proud to ask any other country for assistance. Not even Singapore who has been running National Service successfully for decades (although I'm not sure how successfully since some slut plays warcraft 3 from 9-5 everyday).
I know 15 guys who are very dear to me who are currently serving National Service in Singapore. I don't see them anymore patriotic then when they were in junior college, unless they are picking on me for being Malaysian. Even Greg, who tells me every 20 minutes "Do you know why NS is good for you?", balks at the idea of NS in Malaysia.
It. Just. Won't. Work.
How can something like this work when it has been drafted out in a matter of months?
No that isn't the point.
The point is that it's baseless! It's just NOT JUSTIFIED!!!

Since some obnoxious person DEMANDS that I blog... so here, I shall blog!
*pigs shake their heads in dissapointment... tsk tsk tsk*

Been AOL for the past few days because after my Econs paper 3 ended on Friday the 13th, my brain took no pay leave and I've been drifting around in blissful idiocy ever since. Here's a brief run through of what I've been up to (be thankful it has nothing to do with you!)
1. Went shopping in KL, got caught in rain, mum freaked out because was afraid we'd get caught in a flood, drove home in F1 style (mum drove, thank goodness!), arrived home to find PJ all sun-shiny!
2. Started on Colleen McCollough's Thornbirds. Cannot put it down! Explains blogging absence.
3. Nearly had to watch What a Girl Wants with sister. Think Amanda Bynes is a better actress than Hilary Duff, but still watch Lizzie Mcguire anyhow.
4. Listened to my father talk about the horrors of May 13, 1969 and how he cheated death by ponteng-ing the last class of the day, and cycling through Chow Kit road back to my aunty's house only to hear upon his arrival that 20 people had been killed in the massacre along Chow Kit.
5. Cooked dinner for my daddy, who thankfully had the sense to ponteng classes at the right time so I could be here today! And who also is a terrible liar because he said my Caesar salad was very good. It couldn't be! I totally did not follow the recipe and invented my own along the way!
Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

I
Boredom
Mind piercing
Agonising
Boredom

II
A pencil in my hand
Wields chasing dreams in my head
On to paper, things unsaid

III
Boredom
A template for imagination
The virgin of dreams being formed into reality
It’s all crap
I’m just plain bored

I had Mohammed Haji Salleh in mind when I wrote this. Remember Rain? In retrospect, I did like the poem... and when it rains I often think of threads from heaven, babies in cradles, and fathers turning their backs on the world in slumber.
Oh and I tend to write ALOT of poems about boredom... especially when I'm bored! It's ironic!

Finally, Sachpal gave me something to do! You're an Angel, Pal... only on certain days.

1. Society states that love alone can make a person happy. What is your opinion about it?

I wish it could. But then, love like all emotions is irrational, unquantifiable and abstract. (So is happiness, but that's another GP essay). Love has several degrees and dimensions, not to forget connotations, so I personally think that such a vague question deserves a vague answer.
I don't agree with Pal that love + money is the answer. You could be the Queen of England (I'm sure she's loved by at least some) and still not be happy.
Happiness itself is not something that can be generalised. What makes you happy? Chatting with your best friends? Seeing a baby smile? Receiving a compliment? Scoring straight As? Playing Warcraft 3? Your pet hamster? Sex? ... There isn't one answer, there isn't even a correct answer, furthermore what satisfies you changes with time (and if you allow me to ramble even further I'll start bring in the Marginal Utility Theory). This is the problem with creating statements that are just too general.
It's a roundabout debate because there aren't enough parameters. But I won't discount love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

2. What is your take on portraying a false image?

I don't think anyone wants to portray a false image intentionally. It all boils down to acceptance, even now there are still bits and pieces of me I can't accept, so I wear masks. Many people have double personalities. Sometimes I think I have triple, quadruple, quintuple... Is that a false image? I don't know. Sometimes it seems like a matter of survival. Our peer environments can be so hostile and no one wants to feel left out.

3. Life has become more like a rat race in this century.

Rat race is Western. Here we call it kiasuism. Aye, I totally agree. Everyone is biting and clawing their way to the top... and I'm being pulled along by the current as well... Somedays I feel like I can only hold my head up high because I got great SPM results, or because I was an ASEAN scholar, or because I was in RJ or because I got into an Ivy League and a top UK university, or because I'm going to attain a proffesional degree in Engineering and not some fluffy social science degree (sniff!)... but where am I going to hide my face when God says that all those things don't count on judgement day?

4. Some say premarital sex is bad. What is your opinion?

Seeing how marriage as an institution is slowly disintegrating... I don't know. I don't condemn it, I don't condone it. It's a matter of whether you can handle it...

5. Pornography. Good or Bad?

Haha... this is bloody controversial. Pornography puts alot of pressure on sex and satisfaction, etc. etc. But some guys say it's educational (*rolls eyes*). Whatever! It gives you guys (and some girls) kicks and as long as you're not out there commiting crimes later on... and you don't really believe that sex is as good as it looks on tv!

6. What’s you take on death? What about personal feelings regarding death?

There's only one thing about death that scares me... would you know my name, if I saw you in Heaven? Would you be the same, if I saw you in Heaven?

7. What are your comments about society?

I live in a happy little society where everyone looks out only for their own interest. They criticise the authorities for not looking out for them but don't even know their next door neighbour's name. They demand the rights of a developed nation (higher salaries, shorter working days) while simply forgetting that there are regions in this country with no telephone lines or water utilities yet. They want quick profits with minimum effort. They want short cuts to everything, even if its education. And especially if they are not bumiputeras they believe they owe the system nothing since the system worked against them from the start.
*cough*
Sorry, got carried away. But my society isn't that bad if you ignore it's flaws.

8. What are the important criteria you look for in a guy/girl?

Curly hair isn't one of them. *glare*. I think it would be that I have to feel completely comfortable with him, that I can tell him anything and he won't think less of me (even when I tell him about all the terrible things I've done to other guys, or when he discovers that I can be a nasty, stubborn little twerp). And most importantly I have to feel that I can be myself in front of him, no masks, no pretense... just me. Oh and if he's a snag (or even pretends to be... YOU tricked me!), he won't need a magnet!

9. Friends. Are they important?

Yes! You don't need a rocket scientist to tell explain that to you!

10. Lastly, what are your observations regarding people around you? (E.g. neighbourhood, university, etc.)

I thought I answered a similar question above? Oh well, I don't know. The only people I see nowadays are my mum, my dad, my bro and my sis. They are all generally nice people.
My neighbourhood is really quiet. Next door is a family with 4 boys (aged between 24 and 6) and my siblings and I make more noise than they do (of course we have the advantage of owning a piano, a violin, 4 guitars, a stereo system and well developed lungs).
My college... LOL... no, you don't want me to get started on my college, please! Lets just say that in 20 years time if you gave me a list of the most successful people in the world, I gurantee you most of them would be my college mates. I'm just hoping my classmates will still remember me and how I helped them with their essays when they become premier of China.

What prep label are you?

I'm very bored... oh so very bored...

I have a wish
That purple clouds
And jewel crusted stars
Would always exist
Knowing I’ve come this far
I’m stirring storms
Walking on fire
And yet I’d do it all again
If sleeping on thorns
Flying much higher
I can’t feel the pain
And I’d keep on going
Course there’s a savage beauty out there
And joy won’t taste
So sweet without the bitterness

Plain ramblings... I was drunk or similar...

Which Smallville character are you?


hmm... hehe... this is why i'm just charlotte sometimes...

Boredom inflicts
The night skyline
With its enticing spectrum
Of puffy sunsets
And seduces me
In whispers to leave my desk
And haunt nigh for life!

I bounced out of bed at 7 am this morning after going to sleep at 2am last night. Monday mornings are gym mornings where my mum drags me to the gym to try and eradicate the fat in my thighs which she claims have become even fatter since I skipped last Monday's workout. Where does she get her bionic eyesight from that somehow notices diameter changes in my thighs, because I obviously never inherited it from her!

So I was doing squats (which I believe are terrible for my knees but my mum says its a sure fire way for obtaining cameron diaz type legs... ever noticed how sure fire ways never work, mum?) when this lady in her 50s called Aunty Sarah pushes her amazing rings of spare tyres through the doors of the gym and nearly blinds me with her psychedelic gym outfit. I swear there should be a ban on people displaying oozing fat beneath purple tank tops, white tights, shocking pink socks and a turquoise scarf (SCARF??? Who wears scarves in a gym???). As I was reaching squat number 15, Aunty Sarah approached me and loudly proclaims: xiao mei, ni si huan F4, dui bu dui? na, wo gei ni zhe ge F4 tissue packet... ni kan, piao liang ma? ni si huan na ge? (translates as: little girl, you like F4 right? nah, i give you this F4 tissue packet... you see, beautiful or not? which one do you like?)... I didn't know whether to laugh or cringe, but I hear you can die slowly from suffocation if anyone more than twice your weight sits on you... so I decided to smile and accept the tissue packet. For that, she also tossed in a photo of one of those F4 gays free of charge. I'm beginning to rethink whether going to the gym is a good thing or not...

After giving up on eradicating fat, I went down to the library and picked up the latest issue of Cleo. Oh, look, Cleo's Most Eligible bachelor has been announced. Turns to page. AAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!! It's one of my dentists!!! No way! No WAY! And... ew! He's definitely NOT photogenic! He looks so much better in real life!

And to cap off the day, I spent the afternoon and evening with Sugi and the ensemble of Sachpal, Jere and Prashant. Laugh, people, laugh! I think I am certifiably completely numb to guys and their derogatory comments. Bbians will be bbians will be bbians.

*Pigs wave at no one in particular... no one in particular... parallel or perpendicular...*

Old friend,
Did time ever tell you
Our paths would one day intertwine
And we’d step in line
In this valley of sunshine
Between mountains of gloom
If you could look into
The looking glass
Would you have known
You’d find someone
Just like you
On the other side
Waiting and wishing
For a heart that would listen
And a smile that won’t fade
Did I just only meet you?
Time must have several dimensions
Because I’m sure I’ve known you
All along…

Charlotte Yeow is worth exactly $1,827,560.00
Can you afford me?

Newsflash: Greg got into NUS Medicine!! *beam*
Charm got Law
Baa got Engineering
Hooi Ying - Law
Kuan Yen - Comp Eng
Me - Engineering (but like everyone says... not like it really matters)
Well it damn well matters! What if UK comes down with some SARS like epidemic? At least I'll have somewhere to go to.

I finished off my Paper 1 and Paper 2 for Econs today, hand hurts... I now remember what I didn't like about humanities subjects... all that writing! Not like numbers. Short and sweet! 1 + 1 always equals 2... unless we're talking about linear spaces... ouch *headache*


Down the same path
I’ve walked before…
Treading on similar cracks
But I can see the sun
Through each glistening
Foliage of leaves
That leaves me wondering
Should I walk on?
Each step
Till my heart says yes
To a new journey
Down this old, old road
I’ve forgotten the way
Forgotten whether it was
Friend or foe
Beckoning me to go
I can’t
Can’t tell
So let it bring me there again
I don’t
Can’t care
As long as you are
Walking it with me

Had an unexpectedly good time at the ASEAN scholars reunion hosted by the Singapore High Commissioner (Who is a Rafflesian and reminds me of **Vivian Balakrishnan... I have always had an aversion to Vivian Balakrishnan since having had the misfortune of listening to his politically correct speeches at several functions)
The food was actually good! After all the crap Singapore fed me for 2 years, I was pleasantly surprised by the spread of roast lamb, popiah, char kuay teow, rojak, nonya kuih and ice kacang. Three cheers for the High Comm for having had the foresight to employ Malaysian caterers! With the exception of having misheard someone say "try the clams. Its good" when they actually meant "try the LAMB" and thus I spent quite a while searching for non-existent clams, I was pretty satisfied.
And the meeting up with old friends was the best part! There was so much to talk about: "What have you been doing?" "Are you working?" "Where are you going?" "What will you be studying?" "Are you going back to Singapore?" "So is your curly haired boyfriend in OCS?"
Ok, only one person asked the last question, and proceeded to hound me about it the whole night. I refuse to talk to YOU anymore!
Meeting Aseans from ages ago was cool too! There were people there who were scholars even before I was born!!
I went home with a mild headache though... a result of gulping down half a glass of red wine in my hurry to talk to Ling (whom I hadn't seen since I moved out of Eton hall a year and a half ago). When will I learn that the golden rule is to sip not gulp? Ow...
And I really hope no one attributed my gabbering away non-stop to the copious amounts of alcohol in the room... but as one senior said "Drink up! Singapore paid for our education, so why shouldn't we just milk them dry on the alcohol too?" (I noticed too that his face was very red and that he seemed a little unsteady...)


** Vivian Balakrishnan is an up and rising Singaporean politician who's in a perfect position coming from a mixed parentage (read: racial intergration), well educated (read: a successful product of the Singaporean education system), charming (read: always politically correct) and in line to take over from the Gohs and Lees of the last generation. And yeah, Vivian is a HE.

I can't tell the difference between a good Econs paper or a bad Econs paper... after all I've only been studying the subject for the last 5 months! So, I can't really tell how I fared in today's paper at all. Not too badly I hope. God, if you're listening now, I still would like that C please... really!

Tonight I will be attending a dinner at the Singapore High Commission, hosted by the Singapore High Commissioner. The attire says smart casual/working attire, and I don't know what to wear! I can never figure out this smart casual thing. My mum says I have a cupboard choked full of smart casual stuff. Where, mum? Because I don't see anything casual enough to be smart or smart enough to be casual. I've got plenty of casual casual stuff (spag straps, sports tops, day dresses, jeans, jeans and oh... here's a pair of khakis), and i've got formal formal stuff (long skirts, gowns)... but where are my smart casual clothes???

And how dare you ditch me now, mum, and go shopping at Little India when I have an important function tonight??!! Tsk! Priorities!!!

[plucked out from random readings... which I should avoid the night before Econs Paper 4]
Many, if not most, teenagers write poetry. Most of it is bad. Fortunately, this poetry, like many communicable childhood diseases such as mumps, chickenpox and measles, afflicts its authors for a short time and then they are forever immune to the pathogen. Of course, these "poems" are sincere, but as Oscar Wilde advised us, "all bad poetry is sincere." These “journals” - notebooks filled with angst, self-loathing, raging egotism and cryptic marginalia - are then shut forever, packed away in mom and dad’s attic, forgotten, and if there is any justice in the universe, eventually incinerated.

[To read more : Stupid Poetry, Arrogant Poets]

ps: Erm... on second thought, had better credit the link to Grace.

pps: Also remembered that the mug x 12 - coffee thing also belongs to Grace.

Aaaaahhhh!!!
Econs Paper 4 tomorrow!!!
Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug Mug ... Coffee?
*giggles*

I'm going nuts
Pray for me!

I’m living fine on the outside
Not telling you what’s really going on inside
This mind
This heart
Wish they weren’t two worlds apart
This time I’ll try
But forgive me ‘cause I
I’ve forgotten how to let my heart fly
You can’t save me
There’s too much of this wicked world under my skin
It doesn’t hurt me,
But I know it’s there…

When you feel there's too much of the real world in you, you begin to become numb, forget yourself and your pain and your real thoughts... and eventually become ditzy (that's ditzy not dizzy) - I'm the final product right before you. Sunshine and june bugs. I'm NOT living in de nile... I've just blocked it out of my memory. Really, I'm NOT!!

Hurt me

Cruel words
Blistered courage
Live your way; face to the ground
I’m broken down
The sky’s grey motif
Doesn’t help
As if it’s goading you on…

I'm terza rima, and I talk and smile. Where others lock their rhymes and thoughts away I let mine out, and chatter all the while. I'm rarely on my own - a wasted day Is any day that's spent without a friend, With nothing much to do or hear or say. I like to be with people, and depend On company for being entertained; Which seems a good solution, in the end. What Poetry Form Are You?

Spent the whole morning reading the papers instead of studying (come on! get your fat ass off the couch and start force feeding yourself on National Income...grrrr... ooh! I give up!)
Some very good articles caught my eye. Take the time to read it, if you please...
Picking friends from war rubble by Bunn Nagara - very insightful, very concise... a little tongue in cheek "take that you star spangled bush hugging idiots!" but VERY diplomatic!
Good that Singapore Dream is over by Laurel Teo - if you, like me, understand Singapore's 5 Cs (Cash, Credit Card, Car, Condo and Career... did I get that right?) you can smile at this article. If you don't, never mind... we KL-ites can relate to it too. (By the way, this article is from Singapore's Straits Times)
Ipoh City Council not a 'moral guardian' by Wong Chun Wai (heh, almost similar to my class rep's name... Wong Cheong Wai... er... he was Wong wasn't he?) - Yay! Someone who agreed with me, albeit for a slightly different reason.
Happy reading