I...

... am feeling like the biggest procrastinator in the world!
... am the only one not watching Naruto
... still have a bunch of Thank you cards to write
... met up with Luke who came all the way down from Newcastle and gave him the grand tour of Imperial which took all of 10 minutes
... scored an unbelievable 99% on Comp Architecture coursework which uplifted my spirits for awhile
... really like being able to cook again
... am tired of pasta and pizzas and sandwiches
... want Chinese food! 24-7!
... think I should watch a musical tomorrow
... am trying very hard to decide which subject to start studying first
... want to go back to the Natural History Museum and walk around the Darwin centre
... am currently addicted to Amazing Race 7
... made myself cry while laughing, although it's partly Lu's fault
... think too much about myself, I think....

This is exactly why you should never allow yourself to succumb to a full fledged flu just before taking a one week holiday across snow, frost and ice! You'll end up half drugged like me, bundled in layers and layers until I resembled a dumpling, and coming back to the hostel to rest before it got properly dark (which was the only thing we could do anyway because it seems there isn't much of a night life in the Scandinavian region)

So it was 3 nights in Copenhagen. I swear all the medication I was taking was non-drowsy, but my time around Copenhagen seems abit hazy. Alot of nice buildings, statues, and my much awaited pilgramage to find The Little Mermaid. My daddy said she'd be abit of a dissapointment, and really she isn't much of a statue to wow and gasp at, but it's the whole fairy tale, the sorrow in her eyes as she gazes at the bay, the city she loves but can't be a part of, the love lost and the life she gave up. That is the magic of The Little Mermaid.

It was a pity the Tivoli is closed until April. My parents said it's quite a sight, but then again me and my motion sickness didn't miss much I guess. Otherwise Copenhagen is just a dear little fairy tale city with a very attractive royal family (actually, I'd think ANY royal family is attractive after having to live with the British royal family and their antics for the last one and a half years)

Malmo was a really pretty harbour city, my favourite kind really. With the cobbled streets and oldish squares, and lots of alleys. Goteborg after that was rather dissapointing. Probably because of the horrid misty weather that met us after 3 days of pure sunshine! The Maritime museum we visited though was really one of a kind. After climbing on and off and through so many types of boats, warships and submarines, I've really had my fill of boats for the rest of my life!

After Goteborg, the sunshine in Stockholm was really very much welcomed. What really amazed me was how the lakes stayed solidly frozen, and I mean COMPLETELY WHOLLY frozen and yet the sun was blazing! There was still plenty of snow all around, and coupled with the lovely harbour views and canals and alleys, Stockholm was truly the cherry on the icing (and there was plenty of it - ice I mean!)

So I'm finally back home, trying to rid myself of the last stubborn bits of this flu and remaining MSoc secretary work. Come on, come on, come on... let go!

PMS is hitting everyone hard. That's 'Post Malaysian Night Syndrome' for the uninitiated. Or for the committee, it's more of an empty nest feeling. From 30 e-mails a day on average, our inboxes are now almost empty. We all reach home way before dark these days. We haven't seen each other in days. Conversations between Dzam and me have degenarated to e-mails because I hadn't seen him in person since Tuesday! And while Ayish and I used to complain about M-nite problems everyday, it's now become sporadic emails and very hurried msn messages. I hadn't even seen Chien Liq or Nicole or Tao or Chris since elections, when we used to sit in the JCR everyday. And if it wasn't for last night's cast and crew dinner, I would have plunged myself right into Easter break without seeing anyone at all for 5 weeks!

But yesterday was a great dinner, with some of the best laughter and fun we've ever had! Good food, thanks to Chris, good jokes, thanks to Tao and an overall sense of - we did it together! The autographing of the posters was hilarious, what with Tao's www.yongTAOfoo.com and my "and to think we were gonna call it 'my ladoo is too sweet and other stories...' "

Finally handed over officially to the new committee after the dinner. The usual long meeting of do's and don'ts. Am feeling abit freer, but still need to sort out a few more last details.

Will be leaving for Denmark tomorrow morning for four days and then to Sweden for three days. Weather in the region looks set to turn me into an ice cube. Now if only I can get rid of this stupid cough before I go. By the way, antler's horn is a wonder fever cure!

Today marks the day I finally take the burdens off from my shoulders and pass it on to the new Malaysian Society Committee of 2004/05. Good luck, with it! And don't come running to us when it becomes too heavy to carry, which it surely will.

Perhaps we had expectations that were a little too high. Perhaps it was because we were just too exhausted after M-Nite to intervene too much (rightfully). Perhaps the system just doesn't work, and it's time to review a new system. It's with heavy hearts that we are passing on our successes after blood, sweat and toil and yet we're unconfident and quite admittedly scared as to how well the new batch will perform. The club is losing its confidence. There is a lot passion but there also needs to be rationality and a good amount of plain down-to-earth, common sense. There were just too many RONs voted today. And THAT is an indication of times that are shifting, of a dangerous unsure-ness in our members. An indication that many thought the candidates present were not capable enough and a slight dissapointment that popularity once again wins over silent hard work.

The best of luck to all of you. You will really need it!

And I so hope you don't end up in the state I am in - a fever that only seems to be getting worse, a horrid sorethroat, a very dry cough and 2 lab reports and an exam still to get over with!

And it's all over too soon... but it couldn't have been more perfect.

I may have been running around backstage and watching only snippets of the performance, but I can say without a doubt that 'Of Bunga Raya's and Coconuts' was a dream come true for this exhausted scriptwriter.

When the audience first broke out in laughter at Leslie's "Even my Perodua runs like a Ferrari" line, I was jumping up and down with joy backstage! (It's a scriptwriter's prerogative to be over-emotionally elated by such small things) And the night just got ever so much better from there!

From the bedazzling opening dance with UV lights and stunts that stunned the audience, to the show stealing aunties, to the comeback of the great chef Han and the impromptu lines that were added to my script by Chien Liq, to the hilarious Tai Chi scene, to the heart-rending flashbacks with the mini Ling and Ravi, to our new mascot - the papier mache chicken - that was thrown on stage, to the absolutely random dikir barat songs and YMCA addition, to the laugh-till-you-cry Bhangra fight scene, and the ever so fun Finale Dance.

By the time it came to curtain call, I had no words left to say. And you know that feeling when you've waited so long for something to happen and then it just rushes by so fast and slips through your fingers and you'll never get it back again. And then you think, but I don't want it to end. But it has, and another page has turned, another chapter's ended. It's back to being a full time student again. No more late nights and meetings and frenzied phone calls and money counting, although we should still have those good old creative team gossip sessions over mugs of hot coffee at Starbucks.

And I mean it when I say I'm incredibly honoured to have worked with a team who really played up to their best talents. Ayish, our producer, and her calm and controlled way of organising everyone and knowing exactly what she wanted to see on stage. Tao, our co-producer, and his own brand of humour who had everyone rolling off their seats with his signature Bhangra dance. Dzam, our director, and visionary who made the most effort to take care of our stars. Chien Liq, our creative consultant (and my partner-in-crime in creating this masterpiece), and his wacky ideas and for playing up brilliantly to my script. Nicole, our performance manager, and her absolutely stunning dances - the result of so much hard labour. Jia Hong, our props manager, and his very methodical and very organised way of handling everything. Cheng Chun, our co-props manager, and his calm, cool ways of responding to Jia Hong's methods and always keeping that smile on his face in times of stress. Chris, our darling tech manager, for handling all the technical things we couldn't deal with and trying so hard! And each and every one of the freshers who were such amazing and professional performers. Asking for rehearsals when we said they should take a break and not tire themselves out. Taking care of all the little details we couldn't handle. And remembering everything we said, about the cues and performing and smiling and... for first time performers, you all were just brilliant!

Alright, I'm zombified! I would ramble on further, but this is one exhausted script writer in need of ALOT of sleep.

It snowed very prettily this morning
As I stepped out of my door
Blurry eyed at 8.45am
Hair uncombed
Clothes pulled on in haste
Reciting demodulation steps under my breath
Zero-crossing
Coherant demodulators
Minimum Shift Keying
M-nite at the back of my mind
Like a stubborn tumour

And then there was snow

Coating the cars in blankets
Frosting the walkways
Lightly dusting the bushes and grass
And even the stone lions guarding the Queen's tower
were given a delicate topping of icing sugar
And the continuous flakes falling out of the sky
Creating random white patterns

on my black black coat

and on my black black hair
and my black black bag
And tingled my senses
A few infidel flakes
Slithering down the white of my uncovered throat

Snow makes me feel poetic
I wonder why...

I've never known stress like this.

A show to put on.

A compiler to build.

A Comp Architecture coursework to hand in.

A lab report to write.

A literature exam to study for.

All due in the same week. Two on Tuesday. Two on Friday.

Bad luck comes in Two's for me.

And now I'm asking myself if it's at all worth it.

Because I haven't had much or any sleep.

Because I haven't had more than one meal a day.

Because some people just don't like the way I do things.

Because I can't do everything and still have time for myself.

And because I wanna kick myself as there's no turning back!