All aboard! Destination - who knows?

It's almost second nature to harden myself against sentimentality. To plug up the emotions and look everything in the face with steely coldness.

And so, when I leave tomorrow, when I step out of this house for the last time, there will be no looking back. It's too painful to miss something you've always known all your life. Reason tells me to not hold sentiments for something as lifeless as a house. On the otherhand, I guess it's alright to miss something as full of life as a home.

A home with its white washed walls that for 22 years has played canvas to my fingerprints, and its fading terrazo floor on which I played a secret game of only stepping on particular 'islands' to get to the kitchen for fear the rest of its white vastness will swallow you whole. A room with delicate China blue wallpaper which rocked me to sleep to the sounds of Matchbox 20, and hid all my diaries and poems and sketches from prying eyes. A staircase with my own make belief poltergeist that ran up and down noisily just to get attention. And the very overrated aquarium which has held several generations of goldfish, guppies and parrot fish in its time (my favourite being the gormless looking parrot fish). And the tiny backyard where I used to play with the neighbourhood kittens until my mother educated me on the various types of tapeworm diseases that cats bring with them.

It's hard to say goodbye to 22 years of life. Thankfully my new house with my own room and my own bathroom to sing off key in makes it a little easier. It's going to be bigger with more space for the dog to run around. That is the dog will be running around outside, not in my room. I've picked out a new bed after my mother examined my 22 year old bed which has been threatening to fall apart anytime soon. Built-in cupboards have pretty much been designed, and my piano has a designated spot in the house. It's perfect!

I just hope it doesn't have that 'hotel' feeling when I come home next year.