It's back to the cold, the fog and the damp...

At precisely 0900 hours I will be departing from KLIA, hopefully with all my luggage AND excess luggage.

Just needed to tell you that.

Friendster is getting weirder and weirder...

These are the 10 latest popular searches on my network... why???
one night stand (This is you, Sachpal, isn't it?)
zodiac love match (Look, it doesn't matter if you love a gemini or an aquarius, there's only ONE species of men...)
teeth whitening (make your teeth look whiter - get a tan)
hip hop dance moves (oh, so they write them down and publish them online these days, huh?)
louis vuitton bags (I've a few liz claiborne ones I wouldn't mind trading in)
kissing techniques (WHO in my network has been searching this? Almost as bad as Sachpal! btw, it's all about tongue...)
new hair styles (Maybe I should take a look at this too)
depression help (And counselling goes virtual too!)
college term papers (cheating isn't going to be THAT easy)
discount laptops (might as well buy a cheap lap warmer)

I'm such a cynic today. This is not good!

Things I want to bring back to London...

1. My piano
2. My baby classical guitar (there's this song that's writing itself in my head... and I'll have to put it on hold until I can buy a cheap 30 pound Argos guitar!)
3. My assortment of pillows and cushions
4. All my clothes
5. My entire book shelf
6. My little sister
7. All my photo albums

... but I can't

I don't think I'll be touching a piano for a few months. I'm going to miss my beautiful Weinbach. And it's going to miss me...

I've learnt today...

That little niggling dreams can be weaved into reality. What if you hadn't listened to the little voice inside your head tell you that you can make a camp for 50 freshers from all over Malaysia happen? There wouldn't be a bunch of freshers gathering at Midvalley today, even before they venture over to the green (grey?) pastures of London.

That my days as a young, naive fresher are over. That suddenly it's dawned upon me that I'm a senior. That I've grown older, younger, wiser and dumber all at once.

That I miss London, I want to go back. That my time here is up. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Once you go away, coming home is never the same. Home isn't home anymore. But I've outstayed the hols, and I have to go back, even though my little sister is in tears because she doesn't want to be left at home alone.

That only in your last week of holidays do you think - "Gosh, I won't step into midvalley for another 3 months" or "This is the last plate of GOOD (unadulterated) curry laksa I'll eat in awhile"

That it's nice to have nice seniors. A good nice wholesome bunch of EEE seniors. (psst... Happy Birthday again, Andrew!). Besides learning that you can get lost in Jacob's house and it takes sometime to find out where the toilet is in the washroom when there's a choice of 4 to 5 doors!

That I want Lionel to come back to I can whine, grumble, complain and pout like the spoilt 3 year old inside of me... and so I can listen to him too...

That my haircut isn't so bad after all. Once it grows... it looks even better than the right side of a baboon!

The ISE tutor and study groups have been rearranged!!!

And for not studying as hard as I should have in 1st year, I have now been bestowed with a tutorial group I utterly despise! (Alright there isn't any real connection between the studying and the tutorial group arrangements... but I'm just trying to find an excuse to rant!)

It's a good thing tutorial groups are only once a fortnight... but to my utter horror, they've changed my study and lab group to group A! Oh woe! I'm now tearfully detached from my new found ISE buddies, and instead I get the MCPs!!! Only consolation is that Vidu is with me (how will we poor girls survive on MCP grounds?) I have to learn to make more friends, but how will I survive labs without being able to bother Kunal with questions all the time?

Mrs Dalloway is on my Literature reading list. After 4 pages I'm finding it hard to read. Don't get me wrong, it's not unreadable, I actually like Virginia Woolf's style of writing. It's just the way its starting out, its like reading into my future. A prediction of what my life could be.

It's depressing when literature begins to mock your own life. Your own turmolt and confusion. Your emotional security. Shaking your sense of unsureness. Making you question whether you made the right practical choice to stay in your little practical world and be happy.

*Later edit*

I'm on to page 10 now. Taking a deep breath and trying to detach myself from the story... although that's not the right way to read books, is it?

My aunty says when you leave a good hairdresser you should look like you need to wear a paper bag over your head for a week, and after that emerge like a beautiful butterfly. Somehow I don't think a paper bag is going to help this natural disaster. I'm not even sure if my head can fit in a paper bag. Prepare to be shocked, VERY shocked, honey! But I did as I promised. I didn't cut it too short nor shave bald. Anyway I always hate my haircut initially. Maybe I'll learn to like it in a few months time...

Busy days again...

Shopped for japanese food stuff at Jaya Jusco today, before meeting Ying, Jilly and Maggie for lunch, which took approximately 45 minutes to commence (It took me 5 minutes to think of the word 'commence'. I swear my England is getting less less powderful). Nicole picked me up from 1 Utama to go cloth shopping at Jalan Masjid India. Too many colours, designs, textures... we eventually settled for simple cloth from Kamdar. If only we knew what we were really doing, but with an unsettled script and storyline, we're pretty much like blind mice!

Lionel's on his way to Melbourne now. It's funny how the idea of him being thousands of kilometres away instead of 350 kilometres away is more unbearable. Anyway, Melbourne isn't my idea of a holiday. Not when Melbourne Uni, Monash and RMIT practically make up a mini Malaysian kampung right in the heart of Melbourne. Adelaide's not better, what with Ravi and Zack being there.

My sister spilt blueberry syrup on Dewy today. She's now banned from playing with him for a whole day. Dewy is my stuffed toy puppy, by the way.

I'm back to blogging random nonsense. Doesn't this feel like the old me?

Oh and I'm starting on Mrs. Dalloway for my Literature module. It's not really like the old me to start on homework 3 weeks before term begins!

"Oh, it seems like I can finally rest my head on something real... I love the way that feels..."
And so the blog is once again resurrected and brought to life with newly rejuvenated vigour! 2 weeks filled with so many mountains and valleys I don't know where to start my story-telling (sorry, I'm not as good a story teller as Chien Liq) nevertheless, here goes:

Friday (day before fresher's camp)Clearly, a very underestimated day. Only on the day before the camp does the projector decide not to work and I had to spend an entire afternoon getting to know Jalan Ampang and the whole of KL very well. Got back home at nearly 8pm, close to tears, tired and hungry and very short tempered. I'm sorry if i snapped at any of you lovely people who were trying to tempt me out to Murnis, but when one is sleep deprived, frustrated and at the end of their rope it's a really bad move to call their blood and swear a "stupid camp"! Anyway, happy belated birthday captain! I'm sorry for being so bitchy. But there's no better mood to be in when you haven't taken a bath at 11pm at night and 3 Imperial College undergrads (one engineer, one physician and one mathematician) can't seem to make a projector work!
Saturday (Day 1 of fresher's camp)The all too efficient uber-secretary was actually the last senior to arrive at KL Sentral, due to last minute projector testings (which didn't work!!!). Managed to stuff 40 over freshers into the bus and proceed to Tapah without much ado... besides being the only nervous senior on the bus while the rest were happily cruising in Chien Liq's car and Jia Hong's car. Day one got off to a good start, with Tao creating much laughter (mostly at his own hilarious antics) and Ili (a planted 'fresher') giving one of her best performances to date! The ice breakers didn't get many names stuck in our heads. Instead what stuck in our heads was probably the colour of Phil's boxers (Sorry, Phil! My bad!). After dinner, our night time entertainment consisting of Tao's powerpoint slide show and Chris's super duper M-nite sneak preview video was just brilliant! But learning that many of our freshers would make great circus freakshows during the Virus game was an eye opener! Aargh.. those double jointed elbows....
Sunday (Day 2 of fresher's camp)I'm sorry to rub it in but... thanks to my warm and cosy sleeping bag, I actually had a VERY comfortable night in the pavillion! If Tao hadn't woken up talking about "Sotong sotong! Dodol dodol!". Soha talked in her sleep again! Hehe! But she didn't mention Amar's name this time (can just see you wiping away those beads of sweat!)Day 2 started of bright and early with stream trotting! And yes, yours truly stupidly wore white! Why hasn't ANYONE in ODAC ever told me you shouldn't wear white when you're gonna get wet? Particularly since Odacians are extremely susceptible to RAIN?? Everything I wore during expeditions was white... so how come, it's only Malaysian IC people who have a problem with this wearing white thing? Educate me, please!The stream was very carefully trotted in my loose Nike sandals. Waterfall was refreshing! It's been so long since I felt one with nature. The singing out of tune all the way back to the campsite was fun too! The afternoon got abit draggy, although Chien Liq did a great job of keeping the freshers from falling asleep. Alumni members did not make much of a scene (thank goodness!). And, man... I really don't know what hit the freshers when we introduced 'Polar Bear' to them. You'd swear the ones in my group were literally being killed with all the screaming that was going on!BBQ and campfire was a pretty relaxed and spontaneous thing. Chien Liq again stole the limelight with his story telling. Some disturbing performances from the freshers. Nevertheless, with so many talented performers, I'm once again inspired to finish the M-nite script... with some performers in mind! Woohoo! Didn't get much sleep that night. No thanks to Tao and Chien Liq. I don't think I've recovered yet from that night of stolen sleep... but you don't get to chit chat with your batch mates like that everyday...
Monday (Day 3 of fresher's camp)Fresher's considerately let the seniors sleep in a little longer. I was surviving only on adrenaline on the last morning. Failed to keep up a lively Q&A session, nevertheless revealing angels & mortals solved that, not to mention the squash banana dance! After lunch, we sent the freshers packing on the bus with Soha, while the rest of us headed to the Tapah rest stop for some makan. At that point I suddenly felt a huge weight crash down on me, and I couldn't even keep my eyes open. I nearly concussed in Jia Hong's car on the way back if Jia Hong hadn't continuously kept up the conversation to keep me conscious. Reached home and immediately zoned out after dinner. Lionel sounded rather amused from the 3 smses he left on my phone...
After the camp, I lost track of time. Before I knew it I was on a Nice Plusliner bus travelling to Singapore with my little brother (who made me take him to Marches for lunch in return for supporting the UK Bound clubbing event by IC Singsoc). My break down under was abit of a blur. If I recall, I think I got a tour of Ang Mo Kio (although if you leave me right in the middle I still will not be able to find Lionel's apartment even after 5 days!), I spent an afternoon in NUS with Sher, Venki and Baa, and even visited Lionel's labs, went clubbing at China Black - even though I spent most of my time at the ticket counter, trying to keep Lionel entertained (no, I didn't do a very good job, soweee!), went shopping at Queensway (new shoes and a new pink bag!!! and I was this close to buying a pink pair of shoes... till Lionel convinced me otherwise!), met Mao Mao and Darren and Jing Ye for prata dinner, had tea with Charme, Joseph, Sherene and Venki at NYDC (yes, Charme... you still have everyright to punch Lionel for his mischevious sms), and a BBQ dinner with the Low family (and I mean like almost the entire Low family... I have this feeling the only person I got on really well with was Lionel's 3 year old niece...) and that pretty much sums up my much deserved holiday! Far far away from MSoc... although I have to admit I couldn't resist checking my mail and the forums.

And now I'm back again. Feeling a little silly that I didn't get to see you, due to a very silly mistake which I'll have to explain although I don't feel like explaining. Maybe it was fate. Maybe we're just never meant to meet again. Maybe its just a way of telling me I have already moved on with life and things are never going to be the same again and that's just the way it should be. Silly me.

2 weeks left. Time to start packing again. You'd think I'd be used to this... but... sigh...

The flame has been extinguished. Fatigue has hit me hard. My head is pounding, my eyelids are heavy, my limbs like lead. I even resorted to a large slice of sweet tiramisu cake in a desperate attempt at sugar high energy. But I've met my match in my own self.

I'm completely drained. It's like I've been doing sets of stair climbing and the blood is still pounding in my head except that I haven't done anything more vigorous than 30 minutes on the exer-cycle! Months of planning for a camp has led to my wishing that Monday would come sooner and I'd only have to worry about packing my bags and jumping on the bus to Singapore.

3 more weeks before I'm back in the cold dreariness and English rain. So soon? Where has time gone?