And she resurfaces

I'm back in good ol' rainy, smoggy, dusty, sainsbury London!

Granted I actually left Malaysia more than 2 weeks ago and I've been on a spiritually fulfilling journey which encompassed Lourdes, Florence (not so spiritually fulfilling) and Rome. And then the Linstead Hall wardens bundled all the re-apps (officially we are now to be called hall seniors) up and dumped us in the middle of the New Forest to camp in heated wigwams for a night.

But now I am back and firmly rooted on London soil, awaiting the chaotic arrival of freshers who will think I belong to the Jurassic period. We've painted the welcome signs, we've filled up their fresher's packs with goodies, and we're going to smile all day tomorrow. It really is going to be a lot more fun than I make it seem.

On the other hand its strange to be in this position, especially in my final year. London's become smaller now that so many have left. Lionel's feeding his bacteria and lab mice or whatever in Singapore. Nicole's fending for herself in Stanford. Tao's eating the whole of KL. CL's gone soul searching again back in his kampu-, I mean Kuantan.

And I'm here. Missing Malaysia, missing Singapore, missing Hong Kong. I swear one plate of real char kuay teow a year is an awful, awful punishment! I miss Hokkien mee so much, some nights I cry myself to sleep.

Life's going to be hard this year... if I don't make the most out of it.

Extension of the Wan Mohd. Aimran fan club...

Haha, just teasing. But you know I'm a big fan.

Stop beating the racial drum - by Imperial's resident Malaysian writer is just one of many of his brilliant pieces. And I have to thank him for being the voice that dares to speak while the rest of the rakyat grumble, yet are too chicken to swim against the tide. (I'm one of them because my mum says she won't visit me if I'm arrested for insinuating there's even the slightest bit of racial disharmony in Malaysia)

Kudos again, Wan!

Where the sun don't stop shining

I could kiss every palm oil tree that flanks the highway back from KLIA!

It's good to be home. Where the teh tarik is schweet, the banana leaves green, the air hazy, the police corrupt and where most motorists seem intent on meeting their maker before their appointed time. I don't know why I ever left this place. I'll probably remember after 2 weeks when I'm fed up with the weather and just want to hide in an air conditioned space.

Anyway, call me, email me, write me. I don't care where in the world you are.

What did I get myself into?

4th year is going to be a killer year.

My schedule for the year ahead looks set to be punishing. Linstead Re-app, Overseas students committee vice-chair and Electricl Engineer's Society Treasurer. It's Charlotte at her best, and trying to top herself.

Who said anything about studying?

Hmm...

My mum sms-ed me in the middle of the day, on Tuesday while I was rushing to prepare a presentation and was walking back and forth between the data resource table and my desk.

"Do u want your results?"

I'm not sure that my mum realises the inpact that one phrase has on me. All of a sudden, whatever work I was doing was absolutely insignificant when faced with this awful feeling of failure.

Anyway long story short. I got my first. Despite my mother complaining about my dismal marks in DSP and Operations Research ("You can sit for the paper yourself, Mum!") and surprisingly awful marks in Decision Analysis. What can I say. I was never able to make decisions. I can't care what the rest of my marks are... I'm just happy that I don't need to work so hard next year.

Total slacking, here I come!

In the meantime, I've got 4 weeks more to go in Hong Kong. And I'm surprisingly wishing it wasn't coming to an end so soon! Quick, come visit me while you can!!

On a day like today

Sometimes it gets a little overwhelming here. Distractions come easily when I start to think of the things happening back home. Lionel's sister getting married today. My cousin's baby celebrating it's full moon (I had no idea there was a new baby in the family, and until I figure out whether I have a niece or a nephew, it shall be an 'it').

As much as I love my life in Hong Kong, there comes a time when you think that 10 months away from home is when the cracks start to show.

Thai-erd

That says it all.

Will get back to you when I wake up.

(But I'm more likely to be at work)

One more thing - in my hurry to pack my entire wardrobe to Bangkok, I brought a camera without batteries. Go Charl!

More Memes

Name 20 people u can think of and then tag 5 more people to do the survey. Do not read the questions before you write.

1. Lionel
2. Sugania
3. Anushia
4. Charmaine
5. Sherene
6. Chien Liq
7. Wei Kiat
8. Yi Shan
9. Lu
10. Nicole
11. Ayish
12. Cheng Chun
13. Baa (Khim Nyang)
14. Bhai (Sachpal)
15. Ravi
16. Jere
17. Tao
18. Chris Tock
19. Hugo
20. Xiaokai

** Disclaimer **

I SWEAR the list isn't in order of preference or in ANY order at all... I just put down the names as and when they came to mind (and in the order that I was checking my msn list). If your name isn't here, that does not make you any less special to me!!!



1. How did u meet #14 (Bhai)?
Dammit! Why do you have to be #14, Bhai??!!

Bhai and I have had a love-hate relationship since the beginning of time. Bhai went to the same school as my first boyfriend and big surprise - he hated him and thus hated me, and Bhai has probably never agreed with any other boyfriend after that either. Getting rid of boyfriend #1 was just the beginning of a great friendship built on insults and sarcastic remarks (as well as almost identical Capricorn traits)... and in Bhai's words "The smartest thing you ever did, Charl". The only problem he has with my boyfriends now is that he thinks they are all Ah Bengs and they are never good enough for me.


2. What would u do if u hadn't met #1 (Lionel)?
Dated other guys.



Oh wait, I meant to say that I would never have found my soulmate, best friend, pillow-talk companion, adventurous travel buddy, consumer of everything I cook whether tasty or nasty, free compliment service, opener of container lids that are too tight, destroyer of bugs and cockroaches and rats that scare me, fetcher of my water, coffee, snacks, etc. when the kitchen seems too far away, supporter of all the ridiculous endeavours I come up with, sugar daddy of all my meals and soft toys, download centre for all my tv series, and provider of unlimited hugs and kisses.

I know it sounds like I can't do anything for myself. Lionel would agree.


3. What would u do if #20 (Xiaokai) and #9 (Lu) dated?
*wide-eyed look* Match made in heaven!! Here's how it'd go. They'd both meet on the World of Warcraft server and hit it off famously. They'd talk about gaming, their pure loathing of studying and small, fair, bespectacled girls. And then they'd try and meet IRL. And I'll be tearing from laughing too much. As I always do.


4. Would #6 (Chien Liq) and #10 (Nicole) make a good couple?
OH... MY...
HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHahahahAHAHAHAHHAhahahhaAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

No. Not unless you want a repeat of the Holocaust.


5. Describe #3 (Anu)
a. Cries before exams
b. Bites her fingernails
c. Adores Ronan Keating
d. Puts on her baby voice when she wants something
e. Calls me a pandi (pig) when she doesn't get her way
f. ...
Ah heck, this list will never be exhaustive enough. Anu's one of my bestest friends who'll one day be the skinniest doctor Melbourne has ever seen.


6. Do you think #8 (Yi Shan) is attractive?
No.

I'm sorry, that was too harsh. I don't think Yi Shan is attractive but I think that Yi Shan thinks he's cute.

7. Tell me something about #7 (Wei Kiat)
He likes to hurt people. Physically. He also likes guns. I mean the ones that shoot. I mean the ones that shoot fire. I mean... oh what the heck. He's also very apt at writing secret admirer letters to himself.

8. Do you know anything about #12 (Cheng Chun)'s family?
Has 2 sisters who have really swanky London/US apartments!

9. What is #1's (Lionel) favourite thing?
ME! and maybe his Nikon.

10. What would you do if #11 (Ayish) confesses that he/she likes you?
Aww... so flattering!

11. What languages does #15 (Ravi) speak?
Idiot-speak.

Oh and a smattering of English, Malay, Chinese swear-words, probably some Vietnamese too now...

12. Who is #9 (Lu) going out with?
His duvet

13. How old is #16 (Jere)?
Last time I checked... about 12. I mean so what if his I.C. says he's 22, the national registry has been known to make mistakes from time to time.

14. When was the last time you talked to #13 (Baa)?
When I was still in London, on MSN

15. Who is #2 (Sugania)'s favourite singer?
Madonna. This is easy.

16. Would you date #4 (Charmaine)?
Hell yeah! I mean who wouldn't? Charmie's hot and smart and funny and such a babe and we'd have a hell of a time, you know it!

17. Would you date #6 (Chien Liq)?
Are you kidding?? Oh, I'm sorry... that was about as harsh as saying Yi Shan's not attractive. Actually it might be fun... not as fun as dating Charmaine because CL isn't as hot and he whines all the time.

18. Is #15 (RAvi) single?
He shouldn't be single. Ravi's like the sweetest darling there is. Why aren't all the girls lining up for him. Oh wait, they probably are. Ravi, why are you being so fussy and pick one already!

19. What is #17 (Tao)'s last name?
Cheah! How many people have tried calling him Mr. Tao?

20. Would you consider being in a relationship with #19 (Hugo)?
Lol!!! This is seriously funnier than the idea of dating Charmaine or CL. Hugo wants me to be his trophy wife, to cook for him make his mum happy. I can have boyfriends but I'd be constantly worrying about Hugo stealing them away. He IS the better looking one.

21. What schools did #17 (Tao) go to?
Schools my mother doesn't approve of for Penangnites. Lol!!! Sri Inai and KTJ.

23. What is your favourite thing about #5 (Sherene)?
That she's absolutely CRAZZZEEEEE!!! She's such a babe and she's got the personality of a firecracker! You can never never never be bored with Sherene, and she's the bestest girlfriend you can have! And of course for the fact that was both LURVE Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black... especially when he's eating peanut butter.

24. What do you think about #13 (Baa)?
He's the greenest wooliest mammal there is. Baa's so clever and he tells the lamest jokes which is so funny!!! And of course he's a great friend who made dinners at THE Chinese High Boarding School so much more entertaining.

25. What do #4 (Charmaine) and # 18 (Chris Tock) have in common?
They both have names starting with "CH"? They don't like to study? They like to procrastinate academic work? You have to catch hold of both of them, sit them down and tie them to a chair to force them to study? And yet you can be sure their mind has wandered off to something else.

26. What special qualities does #5 (Sherene) hold in your life?
Sherene (and Charmaine too) were possibly the only girlfriends I had at that point of time in my life when I met them... and have remained my best girlfriends till now.

And I shall tag... EVERYBODY. I'm not fussy.

Guns in the Hands of Babes V

When will I stop harping about this? When my government grows more brains.

I hate how news reports are ever so slightly (oh why am I being diplomatic?) skewed in favour of gun training.

Just a question. Are we going to tighten gun laws now that 1 tenth of Malaysian 18 year olds will know how to fire an M16?

I am not a supporter of anti-gun societies. Give me a strong and valid reason for training our young ones to hold firearms and I'd support it, whole heartedly. Right now reason #1 "it will instill discipline and make them braver" and reason #2 "Singapore has implemented it" only makes me wonder WHY we bother to spend money educating Malaysians if they are going to take in such pure rubbish as valid substantiations. (I think I spelt that wrong... but I've been working over the weekend and I can't care to stare at my computer screen while I type).

A few weeks ago Lionel asked me if there was anything in our constitution regarding firearms. According to most war conventions, anyone who picks up a firearm is no longer considered a civillian, regardless of age, and is allowed to be shot during war because they are now considered soldiers. That's a rather interesting train of thought. Care to explain that to our youngsters who are so eager to hold guns?

In fact the naivety of their responses is worrying:

Trainee Sharifah Rabiatul said it was a privilege to learn to use an M16 because the opportunity was not given to everyone. “I think it will make me braver, tougher and stronger. I don’t think it will be dangerous at all,” said Sharifah, who was among the 350 trainees who left Bukit Jalil for Bandar Muadzam Shah, Pahang.

Yup, spending 2 days learning to fire a bullet will do that.

Of course it won't. The mental preparation for fire arm training does not start a day before holding your weapon. You want to know why they can do it in Singapore? It's because the mental preparation and discipline is instilled long before the first gun theory lesson. You want to make them tougher and stronger? Try waking up at 6am for a 2km jog every morning. You want to make them braver and independent? Try solo camping. I have a sneaky feeling that more teens would rather choose the cowardly option of firing a gun over setting up their own tent in the middle of the jungle and spending the night there. I dare say the jogging and camping would be far cheaper than spending more money on guns and ammunition. And a much healthier mental and physical exercise too.

All this talk about exercise and hx's comment on the odac blog about obese snails is reminding me of what a little pig i'm turning into. My mum has been reminding me over and over that walking cannot be my only form of exercise. After all the only reason I walk home from work is because I'm miserly trying to save on cab money. Everything has a hidden agenda. Even NS.

Guns in the Hands of Babes IV

Not sticking by their guns now are they? Well not completely.

What is the point of an exercise being implemented in a program meant to foster unity when you make it optional? You either train a reserve army or you encourage bonding amongst teenagers. You cannot do both.

As the ministry of defence tries to pull the wool over the nation's eyes... it's a rather feeble attempt.

“Using blanks at the shooting range is not appropriate. What is there to worry about if there is security?” says Najib.

There is everything to worry about.

Were the NS trainees given ample mental preparation? Were they given psychometric tests to weed out trainees with weak mental strength and not prepared for the repercussions of firing a gun? (You may think this is stupid when they're probably only going to fire one bullet, but it's a required procedure that army/policemen go through... and firing one bullet can shock you). Were they given full warning about the dangers of holding a gun that if loaded wrongly, not cleaned properly or misfired could results in deaths of not just the shooter but the people around?

Or as in the true Malaysian style, was nothing else but a short term goal to discipline our wayward Malaysian kids the only thing on the minds of the powers that be?

Dim Sum Girl

Only dim sum girls will be talking this summer.

Have a great one folks. Summer, not the dim sum girl!

One Guinness, please

We've got a new dog at home. My Malaysian home that is. In London we have a 'no pets' rule, after the disaster that was house training Yi Shan.

Anyway since I wasn't around, my brother decided to get the biggest, meanest (not to mention ugliest) dog he could find... and eventually settled for a German Shepherd Labrador mix. I wanted a jack russell, but when you're not on Malaysian ground you have no say, like all other things. At 3 months old he (the dog, not my brother) is bigger than Chelsea, my aging cocker spaniel, and is scaring the living daylights out of her. For the record though, Chelsea is scared of everything. Chelsea doesn't think she's a dog and I'm quite sure she isn't very happy having this young pup running circles around her. But she's growing too old to guard the house (or knock over pots which is her greater talent) so bring on Guinness - good dogs come to those who wait (and have dog treats)!

When my mother sms-ed to announce the arrival of the latest bundle of joy, I turned to Lionel and said "How much more tak halal can you make a dog in Malaysia?". My sister wants to change Chelsea's name to Carlsberg now, but my mother has stopped her from confusing the old girl even more.

I shall end abruptly here. I have to finish commenting code which seems to be taking longer than actually programming it.

The day they deported me from the UK

... was the day I didn't support England in the World Cup.


No, seriously... what is it with all of you and the fact that I don't support England? It'd make *some* sense to me if you accused me of not supporting a phenomenal team (sorry, but that's a term that only refers to Brazil). It'd make sense if you accused me of not supporting England's best players (Theo Walcott? Hello?? Has England no other strikers? Come on!! The kid's never even played in a first-team game for Arsenal before). It'd make even the slightest sense if you accused me of not supporting a team with a savvy manager (Sven-Goran isn't even British! And he's playing a team that's half unfit/injured... and one with a broken metatarsal, who claims the doctors don't really know anything because in reality he's just broken his foot! It's Swede swede revenge on the English... oh that was a bad pun, you know it!).

But no... what I get is a whole bunch of nonsense about "But you live in England, why aren't you supporting your home country's team??!!??" with a dollop of wide-eyed horror.

The world is full of idiots. I'm convinced!

Now if I did support my home country while I was living in Singapore, I doubt the sentiments would have been the same. No, they would have been far far different.

Oh the fights!

Newspaper headlines in Malaysia these days reek of a Korean soap drama. If we're not careful, we'll end up like the Taiwanese government (look out! *bitch slap*). I have great respect for Dr. Mahathir. After all as most commentaries put it, he's the only prime minister most Malaysians have known in their life time. But I'm also feeling really sympathetic towards Badawi. His wife just died and now the former premier is wagging his tongue towards the media and demanding answers - NOW!

But there's one thing preventing me from getting too obsessed over it.

Bring on the world cup! Hugo's trying very hard to prove his football knowledge (or lack of). I'm beating him at it. England and Paraguay start in a few hours. I've booked my seat in front of the TV

Guns in the Hands of Babes III

This is the scariest picture I've seen in awhile. 17/18 year olds learning to shoot M16s after 1 day's worth of theory, for what purpose? To instill discipline and make them more robust! (Click on picture for article). You know my stand on the use of firearms in Malaysian National Service (which mind you, is NOT in any way a reserve army in training ala Singapore). Sometimes my government does things which are so insane it makes me want to throw my passport away and cut up my MyKad into little tiny pieces.

They really ought to start listening to me.

Khidmat Negara = Serve thy country

Blessed are Daddy's girls

I've never been much of a daddy's girl. Instead I'm my mum's number one staunch supporter and blame her for everything I am. It's strange that way.

When I was 8, daddy taught me to draw still life orchids, ride a bike and wanted me to be a novelist. Mummy caned me for coming out 5th (out of 45!!!) in class. Draw your own conclusions.

Disjointed thoughts ahead.

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I live to impress my parents. But my dad isn't too concerned with the little things I deem successful. I took him for a tour around the top science college in the UK. He asked why the buildings were so modern and ugly. I wanted to show him our superb labs and plasma screen TVs in EEE. He spent more time carefully observing the ugly statue in the EEE foyer. I tried to persuade him to drive past all of London with the little time he had left. He just wanted to stroll down Bayswater Road so he could choose a painting for my room.

--------

The London my dad left 23 years ago hasn't changed at all for him. As we were walking down Bayswater Road, where the artists have displayed their wares in the sunshine...
"Daddy, don't we have that one at home?"
I whip around and find my dad saying to the artist, "Alex? How long have you been here! You remember my wife? She bought your paintings in the 70s. Yes, we still have 3 of yours hanging at home"

My dad has no trouble navigating through the little alleys of London town and very confidently navigated the Londoners to Katherine Docks and back again. My dad knows the entire stretch from St. John's Wood to Westminster like the back of his hand. I get lost walking from North End Road to Fulham Broadway.

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When you don't see your parents for really long spells, they always look older. Cancer added years to my dad. But 9 months away from home has deepened the wrinkles, and slowed his gait. Painful to watch? Almost heartbreaking to realise. My mother seems to be all skin and bones everytime I return home. But my parents are made of steel. How long more will I go on believing that?

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When you think 23 is much too old for you parents to embarass you...

... your dad walks right up to a convertible BMW with its young, lady driver still in it, and exclaims what a nice car it is to no one in particular...

... or while you're talking to a friend you've just bumped into, your dad is asking the folks enjoying the midday sun what shisha is and why they are smoking it. Is it the new pot?

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Totally unrelated:
I've finally got my bank to work and I just need to clean up some stuff and do some error checking. I've also got my satay chicken marinated and I just need to clean up some stuff and do some agar-agar checking.
Isn't life glorious when you have so many things to do?

and Charlotte does the bi-weekly update thing...

My daddy is in town. So apart from the two-hundred and fifty one things I have to get done, I also have to make sure daddy is spending enough quality time with daughter number one and not suffering too much from hayfever. AH-Choo!! So far, I've followed him to an official headquarters visit, taken him for lunch at Nonya (where Daddy pushed away my credit card) and brought him to my Godmother's for tea and noisy children. My Godma's granddaughters barely make up 5 years of age in total, so I had to excuse the barrage of stickers, whistles and tealeaves-cum-mud "potions" thrown at me the moment the door opened. The children of the world adore me. I wish the feeling was mutual.

I'm currently sitting in the attic, programming a bank. The bank isn't at all interesting, so don't ask. And you read that right. We have an attic. It just nicely fits Lionel's bed, half a tatami mat, a small bedside table, a chest of drawers and a tiny raised landing which Lionel uses as a desk. I'm currently taking up 30% of the space with my laptop. I can't use my room. It's cluttered with all my packing.

Anyway, I just wanted to make a tiny squeak in the blogosphere. It's back to work.

Posts that bore everyone to tears should be made a criminal offence

Strangely enough, I'd be guilty of it most of the time.

I'm multitasking avoiding reading up more on interest rates and oil/information pricing because it's starting to confuse me and blogging instead. Hugo suggested it anyway. The blogging I mean. I am really very bored right now. There isn't a single person in the lab that I have the liberty of disturbing and annoying the hell out of. Woe is me.

Ironically, everyone (not in Imperial) seems to think I'm very free an gallivanting around London and Europe. Even my mother seems to think so. The fact that I sms her everyday saying "No, I can't call home now. I'm doing project work in college" doesn't seem to register.

I'm making a desperate attempt to revive my dying dormant blog. But I don't have anything interesting to say. Except that any Friendster testimonials written by me on Wei Kiat or Chien Liq's profiles are completely fabricated and a result of stupidly leaving my account open on Wei Kiat's terminal. There, Wei Kiat! I just increased your Friendster traffic. Happy??

Moving on to current affairs:
1) Da Vinci Code was so dissapointing and even as a Catholic there were times I wanted to strangle Tom Hanks and scream "Enough with the politically correct bullshit!!!"... aah, that was nice to get off my chest.

2) X-Men 3 is a nice watch if you're not a loyal geek comic book fan. Wolverine basked in all 100 and 5 minutes of glorious adamantium screentime! Cyclops got a measly 5 minutes to look broody and drunk. That made Lionel sulk like a 2 year old. No one said he wasn't a loyal geek comic book fan.

End of current affairs.

Did you really think I was going to discuss the Java earthquake or Sarawak elections?

I'm tired. My comment box has been spammed with articles about racial discrimination in Malaysia and reading it makes me feel even more tired. There's no question about whether it exists or not. Of course it exists. We'd be living in denial not to notice it. And you know what? It exists everywhere. In all my years of living in different countries, I've been a minority and an outcast in all of them. But you deal with it, and move on IN SPITE of it. You don't (and NEVER) bow down to it. You find a way around it, and prove how ridiculous and needless racial discrimination really is. The question now is, when is the right time for Malaysia to deal with affirmative action and bumi rights, and how are they going to do it? Most would say the answer is NOW and IMMEDIATELY. I'm not sure. I'm not the one in charge. I'm not the one who will have rights and crutches taken away from me. Nor will I be the one who'll reap any outright short term benefits.

The Malaysian Higher Education minister came to Imperial last week. He's quite a nice guy. At least more sincere and honest than Najib was. He didn't have the air of a politician which is refreshing. I wish we had more people like him who said what they really felt and not what they think needs to be said to increase their polls. I do wish he had done his research before meeting with our Rector though. It clearly looks shoddy, stepping onto Imperial grounds and saying "Oh, but Imperial College students don't do business, right?" when you're standing in the foyer of Imperial's Tanaka Business School (ranked 8th in UK by the Financial Times and 47th in the world).

Lionel's FINALLY decided to pry himself away from his lab and his infected mice. Yay! I'm going home to cook rendang. Is anyone interested in a Satay party this Sunday?

No rest for the wicked

The 'end of exams' in no way equates to 'going home'. Please stop asking. It'll be an eternity and a month before I'll even get to kiss the 30 degrees sunny air back in KL.

Oh how I miss home. I wake up in cold sweat at night from dreams where I am denied char kuay teow and assam laksa! I want to sleep without a blanket, wake up to the smell of mee yoke, run to the nearest mamak in Teva's sandals and shorts for roti canai (with garlic cheese, please), lie on my bed with the latest Cleo magazine and listen to monsoon rains, drive my sister around, flip through the pages of The Star and listen to Light & Easy on 105.7fm.

But home is so far away, when you're spending 8 hours a day in labs, and the remaining hours at home brushing up on Java and getting up to speed on things like multi agent systems and robots and virtual timestamps. They are as foreign to me as they are to you.

The mice in my house seem to be having a better time than I am. They were even so kind to leave me a note after I made them chocolate oatmeal cookies.


Note to self... have to apologise to mice for lack of time to make more cookies.

A little bit of everything

My mother called just now while I was making a strawberry cheesecake.

"Why didn't you call in? Didn't you get my sms? Were you out?"
"When did you send it?"
"10 minutes ago!"
(my mother wholeheartedly believes I have my handphone sewn onto me and the moment a text message is sent, I should read it and reply)
"I was in the kitchen"
"What are you doing in the kitchen?"
"Is there a law against standing in my own kitchen? Making a cheesecake"
"So free ah?"
"No lah. I'm trying to finish up all the stuff in the kitchen so I won't have to pack it over summer."
"You sound like you're really trying to relax after exams"
"Is there a law against relaxing after exams?? No, mum. I'm trying to stress myself out even more Uhuh."
"So when are you going to help your sister with her t-shirt design? Your father is no help. All his designs are so old fashioned. She needs something modern and cute."

All of a sudden the strawberry cheesecake does seem like the greatest crime on earth. It's obviously not as important as using my precious free time to help my sister, and then my mother unleashes the final blow.

"You're so good at these kind of things. I know you can do it."

And before she launches into a tirade about God-given talents, and using it to help other people (other people always being my brother or sister), I say "Okay, okay..." and she passes the phone to my sister.

My sister is ever so cute to talk to. Last week I told her about the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ride at Alton Towers and she asked if I could bring back some of the chocolate for her.

"Will it make me smarter?"
"Erm, you're allergic to chocolate."
"Oh!"

Isn't she so cute?

So anyway, I did go to Alton Towers and I did go on the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory ride.
It was a chance to get out of the rain (and an excuse for me not to go on Oblivion). The weather pretty much required umbrellas throughout the day. And cutesy OomPah Loompas do not make up for it.


Ok, so I went overboard with the Photoshop paintbrush. I was trying to recreate the magical childish fantasy of being inside a chocolate factory (as opposed to CL's sex fantasy no. 5: to be spray covered in chocolate, thanks for letting us know). I haven't photoshopped in a while. Give me a break.

Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself in terms of my Alton Towers story. The day started out like any other. With Wei Kiat failing to check the time of the train and thus having 5 very sleepy people yell at him for making us wake up at 6am to catch a train that was only at 8am.


Nevertheless, we let bygones be bygones and tried to look happy upon entering the place where they try to make "happily ever after" work, but it doesn't last on cold, gloomy (your basic English weather) days.


Following Wei Kiat's lead, we headed first for Rita Queen of Speed. I had already psyched myself up in order to get over my roller-coaster phobia, so I was in a kind of daze. It was probably a good thing that it was rainy and the queues were short. The longer the wait, the more frazzled my nerves get.



Big surprised, I survived it! And Chien Liq screams like a girl.

Anyway it was still raining. But we were still quite happy.


By 11.30am, I had 2 rollercoaster counts to Yi Shan and Wei Kiat's one. Go me! Soha had hit her ear and it was bleeding, but being the brave trooper that Soha is, she went on all the coasters in Xtreme park, while the lazy bums (CL, Su and me), sat in KFC polishing off a 10 piece pack. After such gluttony I didn't feel ready for more head spinning, and as a result this happened:
Now you know the real reason they brought me along. It wasn't so bad really. I just stood there preparing to snap a photo of their whizzing carriage, when I heard the unmistakeable girly scream bursting through the air. Yup, that's them. SNAP! Anyway, they managed to persuade me to go on the spinning whizzing pinball machine thing a second time round. I screamed my lungs out. It was therapeutic.

Anyway, despite the gloomy weather we still managed some pretty nice group shots.

And some pretty bad ones
And some where we just had no clue at all
In search of more rides (namely Nemesis and Air) we took a stroll through the woods
And even climbed a few trees
In the end we reached the Forbidden Valley, and I became bag carrier amah again while they went on Nemesis (the words "most intense roller coaster experience in the world" wasn't very comforting, even though Wei Kiat and CL tried to block the sign). But to my credit, I went on Air which was the most superb flying experience ever!
Then just to humour me, we rushed over to the river rapids (the only ride I initially consented to go on) to get royally wet! [I'll put up the group photo later... I'm getting lazy, in case you can't tell]

Finally it was the end of the day, and with just 10 minutes before the bus was scheduled to leave, Wei Kiat led us to the wrong park entrance - on the OPPOSITE end of the park! This led to an Amazing Race - worthy dash to the park entrance upon discovering our mistake (Non elimination! Non elimination!)

And on the bus we were pretty much like this:
Stuffy busrides make me more nauseous than any ride at Alton Towers ever could.

Ok I'm done for now. It's back to Facebook absorption - or to quote the name of a Facebook group: "Facebook is eating away my life, and MSN is polishing off the remains". How true!