It's not every week that you find yourself crying buckets for the first half and then laughing till your sides split in the second half. I'm not completely ok. I won't ever be completely ok. You guys have been wonderful, but I just don't want to talk... let me live in de nile for awhile.
My friends here have been absolutely wonderful as well
// Thank you Cheryl for appearing at my door like a miracle and suggesting we go guy-hunting! You're such a dear even though you're the most boy-crazy mauritian girl I have ever met!//
And my Malaysian and Singapore kakis have just no idea how much they've helped me just LIVE this week! It's been a crazy crazy week spent...

... playing table tennis after dinner
"The keganasan of Soha vs the Lotus Palm of Amar"
"What's the point of playing if Soha's only aim is to kill Amar?"
"Who's got Zi Ming's balls?" *Loud howling laughter* "I meant the PING PONG balls!!"

... singing along to the piano
"Charlotte, play your signature tune!" Me: "But I've had enough of Vanessa Carlton!!! That's the 3rd person I've taught it to!!!"
(n.b. Zi Ming is the first army scholar I know who has an incredible ear for the piano and can sing!! Luke Goh should be ashamed!)

... walking to High Street Kensington at 11pm in the rain and ending up at McDonalds

... watching Ring 2 in Amar's room
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
Me: "What the..."
"No, no... it's just that in the dark with your long hair you look like Sadako... and aaaahhh! Don't stare at me like that!!"

... auditioning for Malaysian Nite as the spoilt daughter of Aaron
"Eh, Charlotte is just so natural as a spoilt, rich brat"
Me: ????????????

... shopping for 5 hours at Selfridges with Amar
"4 hours and we've only covered the ground floor and basement? You're worse than a girl, do you know that Amar?"

... cooking chicken curry for several hungry Msians/Sporeans
"I think it's too sour"
Me: "Who told me to add one whole tub of yoghurt, huh? And you DARE complain its sour!!"

and that's not even the whole of it!!!

Today at 3pm (Malaysian time) our great nation will witness a changing of guards. It is with sorrow that I watch our great leader pass on the baton, and together with it the blood and sweat of his triumphs and the tears and cries of a race who have yet to understand how much he has tried to save them.

Do you feel the tremor of the unknown? How far is his successor going to run?

This is for everyone who's not in Malaysia. Do your part in paying tribute to Dr. Mahathir

I'm strong am I? You really think so? Why is it that your perception of me is so vastly different from my perception of myself? You can keep telling me to be strong... but I'm not. I'm crumbling inside and if I was strong I wouldn't. If I was strong I wouldn't be crying and walking back alone from South Kensington Station in the dark. If I was strong I'd accept that this is the right thing.

If I were strong I'd know how to make a whole out of a half again...

going into hibernation and hoping i wake up in a different place

Seeing that my birthday isn't that far off (just 3 months more... give or take a week or two) I think it's fair to start requesting for birthday presents, whether or not I am likely to get them. The last time I requested for birthday presents (a long list of stationary including A4 paper, highlighters and glue) I got exactly what I wanted and I've never requested for any presents since then.

This present on the top of my list this time is the piano score for Les Miserables. Since downloading the entire album off someone's shared folders (the name shall remain anonymous since I don't want him knowing that I've also been snooping around his picture files), I just can't get 'On My Own' and 'A Little Fall of Rain' out of my head. I even sing it when I'm walking back from the Union alone at night... it sounds ludicrous but I feel safer when I'm singing while walking back past 10pm on my own.

So there you go! No more spending long days pondering about what to get me for my 21st birthday! No more browsing around gift shops trying to remember which soft toy you've already given me twice or which book I haven't read yet. No more worrying that your present will be chucked aside as an obligatory ugly desk ornament. I've made it easy for you! Yes, I always think of you before my own self, don't I?

This is a crime.
I'm publishing a post for the sake of it.
I should be shot.
But at least this will stop some particular people (Yeah! I mean YOU!!!) from complaining that I don't update my blog often enough.
What do you really want me to say?

**/ Today I was late for Computer Architecture lecture. I had to sit on the steps and poor Kuna who was late too had to uncomfortably share notes with me on the steps. Then I had my favourite lecture: Software Engineering I, with my favourite buffy fanatic lecturer - Jeremy Pitts. Fell asleep while he was talking about boolean logic, woke up, answered a question wrongly and fell back asleep much to Yi Shan's amusement... probably. Had pizza for lunch and then proceeded to a torturous 3 hour Elec. Lab. Wrestled with oscilloscope and was close throwing it at someone's head in fit of frustration at not being able to produce the right square wave/**

Look, I'm an engineering student. I do not lead a particularly interesting life... engineering is synonymous with watching butter melt. So excuse me when I come back from classes and deny you the pleasure of knowing what particular Delphi programme is developing in my mind (which when actually typed onto the actual Delphi 7 environment never works quite as well).

Bah... I'm going to write a long belated mass mail to everyone now. Right... unleash stress on beloved malaysian and singapore residing friends!

*groggy*
It's 10:35am and I just rolled out of bed... literally... which is quite painful because me bed is just slightly less than 3 feet high.
I'm wondering if I can still make it for church! hmm... bad bad me... oh there's a mass at 12:30! Thank god for the Internet. Saves me from walking down to the church in the cold to check what time masses are.
Heating has been turned off this weekend. I have to check every few minutes to see if my toes have turned blue and are in danger of frostbite.
I need to tie myself to my chair today and actually get some reading or problem sheets done. I must be the only engineer who hasn't borrowed anything from the library. Damn you conscientious hard working nincompoops!
I've been on a study hiatus since friday night, beginning with the Linstead Hall coming up dinner (read: black tie event --> omg! what to wear?). Didn't see much point in looking *really* nice just for these bunch of freakazoids whom I see in the halls everyday and treat me like an annoying beatle who's in their way but too defenceless for them to crush to death. But you quickly realise what great stimuli a pretty dress and make-up are for conversations. Guys are now making the effort to ask me compulsive conversation starters, i.e. :"So how was your day?" and "How is it I've never seen you before?". That's because you're a shallow dope and you don't look any girl in the eye who's just come back from college looking like an accident involving files, bits of paper and horribly coloured sweaters.
The night was pretty fun, asians sitting at a fully asian table... making politically incorrect jokes in Manglish and Singlish, knowing no one else would realise we were actually speaking ENGLISH!
We played a fun game that night: guess who's shagging in the guys toilet. It was Yi Shan's fault, coming out of the mens with digust written all over his face saying "Guess who's in the toilet". Wasn't difficult to put 2 and 2 together as more and more guys came out with bemused smiles and a "I know something you don't know" look. Anyway didn't even need to guess since Angela was going to spill more than I needed to know the next morning.
Spent a lazy Saturday morning just being lazy. Finally got dressed and caught a bus down to Oxford Street to do some form of shopping with Soha. Then after getting lost a few times, we made it to Holborn where Ying and Jas were waiting for us with a warm cooked dinner. I love these LSE people... they all cook! Then went over to Ying's hall to play some disastrous pool (specific to me only) and by the time we decided to make a move, it was past 11pm.
I wouldn't have minded the time if it was Spore or KL, but London at night *is* quite scary, as Soha and I found out when we were literally almost running through the empty subways passing by plenty of dangerous looking homeless people. We were utterly joyful at the bright and warm sight of Linstead Hall even though it was past midnight. Must stop all these late night rendezvous, really!

So at 10pm just now, Ruby comes knocking on my door asking if I'm feeling hungry. Half an hour later, 5 asian girls are sitting in a corridor eating Chinese take-away and grapes and gossiping. Caucasians pass by every now and then giving us those LOOKS which clearly say "uncivilised orientals"!

I've got a part in a play!!!!
I say 10 lines!!! But what the heck!!! I'm still in the play!!!
We're doing Terry Pratchet's Maskarade... which is a version of The Phantom of the Opera set in Ankh Morkpork... and I play the part of one of the chorus girls! I wanted to be the prima donna... but they don't cast small asian girls with malaysian accents on big roles. *sniff*

Belated post written in angst... sorry...

Finally when I think I might actually enjoy clubbing (I've had the right drinks, someone's paid for my tequila sunrise, people telling me I look great... I'm such a vain pot, so sue me... I'm having all these brilliant conversations with people I don't know, and someone's actually gotten the DJ to play the right music... or else stuck a knife to his back, my girlfriends and I are on the dance floor with all the right grooves) then everything starts to go wrong. Idiots try to push you to get all sorts of nauseous concoctions. The bloody bastard who bought me a drink now thinks he bloody owns me and is trying to monopolise every conversation I'm having with someone else. You realise that exposing more skin when dressing also means coming into contact with more sweaty people which is extremely gross. I learnt that some guys just don't know when to shut up about how many patents they have (this is the curse of studying in Imperial College of *SCIENCE*, *TECHNOLOGY* and *MEDICINE*, you notice that people who study history don't go on at length about how much they were paid for writing a life saving source code that Bill Gates was actually bowled over by), the music is still great but really, Singaporean guys don't have to ask me "So... can RJ girls actually dance?". I never thought I'd stand up for RJ, especially on the subject of dancing but... prove it I did. With further disastrous effects.

I have this funny feeling that I must have missed out on the ethical dance behaviour in clubs, but assuming there was no such thing then... all Caucasian males are not only unfortunate looking, they are sleazy bastards! I appreciate the fact that you want to get to know me better, but hell, will you take your hand off my shoulder! And running your grimy hands down ANY part of me is not winning you ANY favours!

I think I'll just stay in my room and vegetate for now... at least that will keep me away from all forms of British slimeballs.

First week in university = generally unexciting.
Think I'm in the wrong place. I'm not a drinker, I'm not a raver and I need my 8 hours of sleep no matter what.
Haven't made any real social faux pas yet. Did the "Hi! Charlotte. Malaysian. Information Systems. Triple E department" thing approximately 50 times. Got mistaken for a Singaporean at least 20 times. No one ever mistakes me for a PRC... thank God!!!
Weather has been very kind... everyone's getting suspicious of it.
Making friends is easy. I go around saying "Oh my goodness... you cook? Really? Ok, you're my friend!"
Built a car... out of polo mints, chewing gum, straws, rubberbands and balloons. Proudly designed the whole poster for the presentation. Some guy said I should be in art school instead of engineering. Don't really like engineers anymore... just because I'm the minority sex here... *pout*
EEE department is like India and China. Literally. Caucasians are a minority. I always seem to end up in places where the locals could easily be wiped out if the foreigners revolted.
I'm very happy with my student ID photo though *beam!* I'll post it up when I actually get my room internet working. Idiots in the student connect department rejected my credit card.
Have to stop converting or will starve like a monkey in a cherry farm. Hmm... am obviously not getting enough sleep.

Finally convinced mummy to go watch Les Miserables, which thank goodness was far from a let down! In fact I had the fun of watching Lee of S Club 7 performing as Marius on stage (In my opinion Marius is a complete poof who pines for Cossette immediately after Eponine dies... like hello??... and is the first one shot at the barricade and survives only because of that, while the old Jean Valjean saves his bloody life! He should have been left to die!). I liked Eponine best of all and Fatine second best! I'm always biased if they sing exceptionally well.
I think I've watched more plays in a week in London than I have in the last 5 years!

Excerpts from my diary over the past week:

25 Sept 2003
Plane full of juveniles. Heathrow looks like the back alley of Changi Airport, why have they not heard of WALKALATORS? And they call us a third world country. Health Control treats us (Asian and Africaan students) like barn animals being lined up for the slaughter house. It's a federal offence not to have an x-ray with you... or at least they make it seem like it.
First glimpse of London at night: Very starry! Wonder for a few minutes why the stars in London seem to traverse the night sky... oh wait... they're airplanes and hellicopters.
Second glimpse of London at night: Old and spooky, where ghosts and ghoulies and three legged beasties and things that go bump in the night are creeping in the shadows and Jack the Ripper is lurking at an unlit doorway
My German godma cooks us German duck for dinner. Uncle Jimmy says: "There's no such thing as German duck! Only Peking duck!". I think he's right.
Dinner and wine are knock outs. I'm asleep by 9pm.

26 Sept 2003
4 am and I'm up wondering why the hell I'm sweating in 15 degrees weather. No point in struggling to sleep so get up and repack all 11 pieces of luggage. By 8am I am setting up a full fledged pasar malam in my godma's living room.
After bath, get dressed in baby tee and jeans. Get scolded for wearing too little clothes and am sent back upstairs to change. Don't think I'll be able to get used to wearing so many clothes.
Head over to South Kensington to do boring stuff mostly involving transaction of money. Then head over to Chinatown... find it very peculiar that Chinese MUST visit Chinatown in any part of the world that they go to. I see a big GAP store at the entrance to Chinatown, tell mummy that Chinatown isn't Chinese enough. Mum gets offended as if her Grandpa built this place and drags me down to the real heart of Chinatown where I suddenly feel as if I've been transported back to Singapore. Except with the airconditioning on the outside instead of in. Which brings to mind the fact that I miss actual aircond in buildings! Stuffy old buildings with no flow of fresh air really sucks.

27 Sept 2003
Woke up sweating again. Just cannot get the hang of wearing the right amount of clothes. Find it very ironic that I don't have enough clothes on during the day and too many at night. Decide to call the whole of Malaysia and Singapore. Call Sugi first and whine to her about the "bodoh Brits" and the "susah health control" and it feels great to have someone understand me perfectly in Malaysian accent. Call Greg next, whine somemore. Call Charm, *squeal* *scream* *whine*. Call Sherene, talked to her voicemail. Call Xiaokai, got insulted. Call Greg again to complain about xiaokai (I'm kidding!).
Went shopping for winter coats. Prices here should be listed as factors of death.

28 Sept 2003
Important day, Sunday is! Westminster Cathedral we are to attend. Many many old architectural designs will we see. Stop talking like Yoda, I must. Cathedral is breathtaking. Reminds me of the old KL KTM station. Gregorian chanting choir is just wonderful. And mass is short, surprisingly!
Mummy's friends come over to ooh and aah at me. Starting to feel like a prized donkey. I bring out my laptop to show my precious photos of my JC days. Everyone starts asking about Greg which then continues to discussions about young love and long distance relationships, bla bla bla... No one seems to think I haven't pondered about the pros and cons myself and that for all the brains in my head I am lacking some when it comes to my own personal life.
Head over to Hyde Park to look for paintings. I could spend an entire afternoon there just looking at paintings. Just like I could spend a whole day or more at the Tate. Try me!

29 Sept 2003
Lost mummy in the underground. Waited for half and hour at Marble Arch and even though it was mummy's fault to have dashed into a carriage when the doors were closing and leaving me outside, mummy still managed to make it all MY fault!
Watched Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat. Joseph is amazing! And I don't just mean the play, I mean Joseph himself! Imagine one sweaty blond guy with a hot bod and mesmerizing grin who can dance, sing AND act standing just 3 feet away from you! So glad for seats right in the centre where it just seems as if Joseph is performing JUST for you!

30 Sept 2003
Shop, shop, shop some more. Then theatre at night again. This time it's Tell Me On A Sunday. Lovely musical monologue. Denise Van Outen is amazing to be able to sing for 1 and half hour non-stop! Realise that I've become the London girl mum has always wanted me to become... in my black boots and black stockings, sophisticated air, going to theatres every other night, well educated... I'm losing the Malaysian in me. I've got to find a mamak here soon!

1 Oct 2003
Third theatre show in 3 days. Today it's Bombay Dreams! Just watching it made me so homesick! So it was a typical Hindi movie (baddie villain, lovetorn lovers, tragic murders, happy endings)... but you feel so connected to it! The dancing, the colours, the women! Pizzazz!

I've never been very good at making decisions. (Greg, if you're reading this you can stop laughing now!)

So... credit card or no credit card? Fixed line or prepaid handphone? Natwest or HSBC? Leather gloves or woolen? Curls or straight hair?

Somebody... help!

*rummages through last minute tasks pinned to grey brain cells*

Pick up bank drafts
Buy bits of forgetten stationary
Stuff shoes wherever they can fit
Tidy up my room
Select photos and keepsakes
Wait for phone calls from concerned friends... "Yes, I'll be fine... no I won't forget how important moisturisers are... I miss you guys too, but I'll be back *really* soon!"
Draw the curtains
Switch of the lights
Hug dewy, scrappy and floppy doo... they'll go into my back pack
Collect my bags
and board that plane

Countdown t = 2 days

Exciting isn't quite the word I'm looking for...

"We live as three beings in one, as does the mind, body and soul, so does the Father, Son and Holy Ghost"

I've come to realise what power the mind and soul has over the body. One February morning 2 years ago I woke up with an intense pain in my abdomen. I remember practically crawling down the 3 flights of stairs to the Eton Hall dining hall for breakfast, and then things got abit blurry. There was a flurry of people telling me not to go to school... someone called the matron... and most poignant of all I remember Anthony telling me that I could not possibly even think of going for my first ODAC Basic Training Camp which was that very day! I was rushed to the polyclinic only to be told by the doctor that I had a viral gastric flu, a nasty little thing that had been making its rounds. I protested to the doctor that I had been eating right (actually eating more than necessary) and I had been exercising tons (think: PT! PT! PT!) and he grinned and told me not to rule out emotional stress! And he was right! I was emotionally and mentally freaked out about BTC. I was so afraid of not being able to survive BTC that it could have been possible that I had made myself sick. (Losing my student card and stuff had NOTHING to do with my emotional stability at that time!)

Last night I recognised the signs of viral gastric flu again. As I tossed and turned in bad trying to coax the pain away, I started to wonder if I am either a) very susceptible to viral gastric flu since this is the third time it has happen or b) scared to death of the new life I'm about to become a part of in just a few days.

I said this before I left for Singapore and everyone laughed, but nothing has changed:

"I'm scared of meeting new people! Really, I am! I'm afraid they won't like me. I'm afraid I won't fit in! I'm afraid I'll fall short of expectations! I'm afraid of not finding good friends! I'm afraid of being left out and I'm afraid of the person I might become!"

But 4 years from now, I want to be able to look back and say that it was a great adventure. Mind over matter...

I feel so completely assaulted! Today I was poked, pinched, prodded and plucked like the kampung chickens at the market... and I swear after the beautician was through with me I made a sacred vow to myself to never ever allow even the tiniest pore on my face to become clogged... lest my mummy drags me to a beautician again to have every blemish on my face removed. If just going through a routine facial is THIS agonising, I cannot imagine what kind of horror genre plastic surgery falls under. I think I nearly reached a state of nirvana while silently meditating "No beauty without pain..." and trying not to pass out.

Isn't it funny how loneliness can become so poignant, the more company you see? Everyone's crowding around me, but when I reach out my hand, the one I want to hold on to isn't there and I feel it even more. Words provide some comfort. The sound of a voice helps to bridge the distance. But ultimately... he's not there. And I think I'm numb to it, until I walk past other happy couples, and then the sound of silence seems so loud, the void so tangible... I want to scowl at all those couples, and scream and say "It's not fair! I hate you for being together! For being physically together! You can hug him! You can kiss her! And you can look each other in the eye and read the expressions on their face! And you don't know how much all that means... until it's taken away! ".

I'm so bored, I'm gonna answer friday fives in the wee hours of wednesday morning!

1. Is the name you have now the same name that's on your birth certificate? If not, what's changed?
I assume it's the same. God forbid there should be an extra L or a T less somewhere. But it doesn't really matter how my name is spelt does it? Malaysian Ignoramuses will still screw it up!

2. If you could change your name (first, middle and/or last), what would it be?
I'd change my first name! Till now I cannot understand why anyone in their right mind would name their kid Charlotte! It's odd (well, in Malaysia it is), unfeminine and completely unromantic! If I had a choice I'd have a simple, no fuss name, that is pronounced the way it's spelt! But I have to admit, I do love my name when it becomes a good conversation piece (people sometimes take up to 10 minutes trying to get my name right) and when teachers avoid calling on me in class because its embarassing not being able to pronounce my name!
I like my surname though. It's rare! And it's a funny name. I like my Chinese name. I usually get less "Say your name again, can?" when I introduce myself as Shu Chen.

3. Why were you named what you were? (Is there a story behind it? Who specifically was responsible for naming you?)
I am NOT named after the basketball team. I was named after the English author, Charlotte Bronte in the hope that I would evolve into the strong willed and determined heroines in all her books. I'm utterly convinced that they all led bitter, depressing lives full of unrequited love (except at the end which always has some happy but tragic conclusion).

4. Are there any names you really hate or love? What are they and why?
*cough* Any names I hate? *cough* That would be politically incorrect of me. Names I love? If you're a nice person I like your name (unless you are xiaokai).

5. Is the analysis of your name at kabalarians.com / triggur.org / astroexpert accurate? How or how isn't it?
No it isn't. And it sucks!


Speaking of names, this reminds me of a really hilarious story I heard. You see, in the old days, when a child was born in a kampung, naturally the parents would go to the Birth Registry to obtain the oh-so-important birth certificate. They would tell the counter guy the kid's carefully chosen name and the counter guy would write it down and do the necessary slow official procedures. Well, a friend of my friend's friend (we all have one of those, don't we?) was given the name Burunthiran by his proud parents. Being the responsible parents they were, they went to the Birth registry to record the birth of one more Malaysian... and in that joyous occasion, the counter guy printed the name Bulan Terang (Bright Moon) on the kid's birth certificate! Now it'd have been an awfully poetic name, if the poor Indian kid didn't happen to be as dark as night! (Must be related to Jere!).

--------------------------------------------

Countdown t = 8 days
Weight of baggage is now equivalent to that of baby elephant!

The Lizzie Mcguire Movie Official Website has a banner at the bottom that says:
PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED
Some Material May Be Inappropriate for Children

Huh?

Song in my head:
You're the one that I want
Ooh ooh ooh, honey
The one that I want
Ooh ooh ooh, honey
(repeat ad infinitum, ad nauseum)

Finally watched Grease, which has been on my must watch list for a decade. I now realise my high school days were relatively boring. JC days were more exciting, but if I had to sterotype my high school self, I'd come under the classification of nerd!

Question. How come romantic summer flings never happen in real life?

**Hums to self**
Summer fling don't mean a thing
But uh-oh those summer nights...

My life as an engineer is starting to look bleak. What's even more demoralising is the fact that this was sent to me by an engineer, very much acknowledging the fact so:

==========================================
Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a Beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes wouldn't have fit anyway."

****************************************************************

Comprehending Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

******************************************************************

Comprehending Engineers -Take Three
A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting
for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude". The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him."
"Hi John. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment. Then the pastor said, "That's! so sad I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact myophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer, after much thought said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"


**********************************************************************

Comprehending Engineers -Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.

******************************************************************

Comprehending Engineers -Take Five
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

*******************************************************

Comprehending Engineers -Take Six
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet."

***********************************************************************

Comprehending Engineers -Take Seven
An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with a wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" "Yeah," replied the engineer. "If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

***********************************************************************

Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a TALKING frog, now that's cool!

===============================================================

Oosh! Everyone's leaving again. Phones are a-ringing, friends are a-calling and then friends are a-leaving. Does anyone ever feel that everyone is making promises we're never going to keep?

On Thursday I said : "Sure, I'll send her off"
On Friday its : "I don't think I can make it"
On Saturday its : "I promise if I don't send you off, I'll use the 50 ringgit it takes to get to KLIA to visit you in Sheffield... at least once!"

The guilty feelings start to form, but I'm still sitting here doing nothing about it.

---------------------------

Countdown t=12 days
It's like counting down to Christmas, but without knowing whats beyond the horizon.

One bitch is all you need to mess up your day. Wait, not just my day... my entire spotless driving track record! At this very moment, lying on the dining table is a ticket for illegal parking that is pending judgement (my mum isn't home yet). So I double parked behind her dimunitive white kancil. She could have horned! She could have asked the security guards to get my attention. But NO! Being the bitch she is, she gets an MPPJ officer to stick a ticket beneath my windscreen wipers with a fine of RM50 which I most likely will never pay.

But to be entirely honest... I would have done the same thing.
But I would have horned first.

I'm back. Back from the land that produced Asam Laksa. God bless Penang!

Everytime I go back to Penang, I feel like I've just stepped 20 years back in time. The whole illusion is assisted by the fact that I stay in my grandparent's old mansion which has a main facade that hasn't changed since colonial times. Trishaw pullers still try to run you over when you step out of your gates into the chaotic 'pasar' that is Georgetown. I like the fact that the roads still have names like Cantonment Road or Vermont Road or Bangkok Lane, like each one has a story to tell unlike the impersonal 'Jalan SS3/88' and so on. I find it so cute that they still use manual parking ticket systems (i.e. parking attendants with the carbon copy tickets) and that their newest shopping malls are comparable to Sungai Wang Plaza and don't have directories on every floor.

I think this is what happens when Cosmopolitan KL girls travel out of the city.

Reasons why life is good:

1. I'm getting 3 free lunches in 3 days! (Wed: Secret Recipe Lunch on Li Ling, Thurs: Lobster Lunch on lovely department supervisors and American visitor with limitless credit card, Fri: Department lunch some where expensive on big big boss from Motorola America)
2. On your last day of work, everyone is incredibly nice to you and instantly forgets that you took leave to visit your boyfriend on the day when they needed you most!
3. Boss told me to write own recommendation letter, and didn't even bother to correct all egotistical and immodest self praises
4. Discovered lovely lovely P2P telephony (Skype) so can make free phonecalls to mummy, boyfriend and friends anywhere in the world on very clear connections thus saving on many many IDD cards. But first must convince mummy that broadband is really worth it.

-----------------------------------

Countdown: t = 20 days
I haven't packed! I haven't packed! I haven't packed!
And tommorow I am heading up to the Pearl of the Orient (Penang lah!) to visit grandpa and grandma and get my last fill of the BEST Malaysian food!
I'll be back on Wednesday. Promise to attend all gatherings, free lunches and mamak sessions after that!

----------------------------------

[very belated edit]
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUN LING!!! *Hugs* I'm so glad you can't be angry with me long over something small like forgetting your birthday... ok, I'm kidding!

As requested by Jason, I'm passing this on:

The Boy Who Cried Iraq

I'm really looking for trouble but I'll go ahead with this anyway:

ANU BABU!!! NAH! I SCANNED THE SWENSONS PHOTO AFTER A MONTH OF LISTENING TO YOUR SCOLDINGS OF PANDI KUTTY AND MONKEYS AND PIGS! JUST FOR TWO PHOTOS? WELL SINCE YOU'VE MADE IT THIS FAR, GO AHEAD AND CLICK ON THE "Highlights and Lowlights of 2003" LINK! GEEZ... I SHOULD HAVE KEPT THE PHOTOS EVEN LONGER AND GIVEN THEM TO YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY NEXT YEAR SINCE YOU WANTED TO SEE THEM SO DESPERATELY

S.W.A.T. : A verdict
Even cops dial 911. I wonder why.
So much for a movie about the Special Weapons and Tactics branch of the American Police Force (which has never been impressive since the emergence of NYPD blue and the significance of doughnuts). Special weapons? Sorry, I come from a culture that has been desensitized by Pierce Brosnan's James Bond and Terminator 3, so I remain unfazed. (Besides here in the orient we have our own special weapon. We call it Jacky Chan). And special tactics? The only special tactic this movie had was featuring the delectable Colin Farrell. However, to be perfectly honest I cannot really judge the tactics in this movie because halfway through I fell asleep. This is essentially a guy movie. I am essentially all girl!

Pirates of the Carribean: A verdict
Pirates can be summed up in one word: Johnny Depp. Oops, that's two words.
Johnny Depp's Captain (that's an important title, don't forget it!) Jack Sparrow stirs the Wendy Darling (or John or Michael if you insist) in anyone who's willing to let your imagination soar for approximately 2 hours and play pretend. It doesn't matter that Orlando Bloom doesn't know any better and can only look pretty, it doesn't matter that Keira Knightly looks and sounds too 21st century to be believable. All that matters is Johnny Depp (and a spectacular Geoffrey Rush) and the replacement of the usual swearing sailor's parrot with a ghoulish monkey.

My latest cure for insomnia: watching football!!

zzzzzzz........


Happy Merdeka Day!

// much later edit (was too sleepy earlier to blog anything coherant)//
I don't know what it is about me and football. 15 minutes into the Man U vs SouthHam game and I cannot distinguish either team. 20 minutes later I'm fighting a losing battle trying not to fall asleep in front of Greg's brothers and dad who are glued to the telly screen. During half time I instantly wake up and try to convince Greg that it's not that football isn't interesting but neither team is scoring and how much fun can it be to see the ball pass backwards and forwards without really going anywhere? Second half of the game and I'm fast asleep, until Greg wakes me up and tells me to go do something else. I come back just in time to see SouthHam take a corner kick and score. Greg cringes in horror and I wonder if I just am a bad omen to football.

Gone for the weekend... maybe might bump into Jilly along Orchard Road... haha! Watch out, Jilly!

Yes, I'll remember to bring your shoes, Charm!

It's fun mucking up a language. Especially if it's your national language. Today we were given kelas tambahan (extra classes) in Bahasa Pasar (colloquail Malay) by our great guru: Zul!

Ever noticed how the typical Chinese speaks Malay? We have a natural tendency to speak in Bahasa Baku (erm... the purest form of Malay... I can't translate it!) or as Zul puts it "You ingat you baca buku teks BM ke?" (You think you're reading a BM text book ar?). "BagaimaNA puLA..." he continues with a train of words ending with 'A' mocking Li Ling. So Li Ling conterattacks : "So, kalau puLA cakap puLE, haNYA cakap haNYE.... jadi makan cakap maken ye?". It's not long more before Li Ling comes up with more questions for Cikgu Zul: "Eh, proton WiRA atau proton WiREH? Kenapa bukan WiREH? Kan belakang tu huruf 'A'?" Poor flabbergasted Zul finally comes up with an answer "Nama khas tak boleh lah...", but Li Ling isn't easily beaten: "Tapi boLA tak cakap boLE... bukannye mereka main BoLe Sepek ke?". Zul ignores her by correcting another mistake "Orang Melayu tak kata mereka lah. Kita kata diorang. Kalau 'you all' kita kata korang". Li Ling's getting slightly confused by now so she asks, "So, kita jadi kitrang ke?". Zul smacks his forehead,"No, no! Kita orang jadi kita orang lah... bukan kitrang!!" but its too late... the bug has caught on and we start shortening all sort of words "makan jadi man lah..." Zul tries to steer us away from the craziness by teaching us Bahasa Terengganu ("kalau 'an' kena tambah 'g' kat belakang, jadi makan diorang kata makang") and Bahasa Kedah Utara ("... air diorang kata ayer... macam kena picit hidung baru boleh cakap").

I think the engineering office and cafeteria has never heard this much wild laughter before!

Somedays I really wonder if I'm just part of an elaborate joke. Dear Lord, You must have a really good sense of humour judging by the shocks You put me through everyday, Amen!

Early this morning I unassumingly walked right into a lunch treat given by my boss for all the engineers who had toiled for weeks on the Low K project. I cannot for the love of apple strudels remember what I contributed to the project, however I wasn't going to pass up a free lunch at Sheraton hotel just because I was vaguely (ok, extremely) doubtful that I had lifted a finger for the Low K project at all!

I was on my way to the cafeteria to tell Li Ling and Kavi about my third office lunch treat since I started working here when I got side tracked by one of the young fresh grads working as a permanent staff in the supply management department... and got asked out to lunch on saturday! "Erm, sorry... I won't be free this Saturday. Really busy trying to grow up first, you know?"
OK, I didn't really say that... just in my head, but when someone more than 5 years my senior is asking me out to lunch I hear warning bells, alarm bells, ambulance sirens and my mother nagging me (actually I hear that all the time!) from all angles. Creepy!

Comical situations can arise while hunting for a car in Sunway Pyramid's carpark:

"Li Ling, are you sure this is the right floor?"
"Yeah... I remember seeing Bumcity when we entered!"
"Why don't you just press your remote and see which car beeps?"
"My remote doesn't work"
"Ok... what's your car number?"
"Er... I don't remember..."
"WHAT? How can you not know your own car number????"
"Oh! Yeah... I think it's 3151"
"Li Ling... that's MY car number"
"Oh yeah hor..."
"Is it that car over there?"
"No... my car isn't white"
*whispers* "How can she be sure when she doesn't even remember her car number?"
"Oh... I think my number is 6833"
"Maybe it's the next floor"
**3 trainees hurriedly clamber up another flight of stairs, already 15 minutes late after lunch**
"This is the third floor we're checking... it'd better be right"
"Eh, here! I found my car... see I told you it's 6833!"
"Yay... lets go!"
"Oi... wait... this is not my car..."
"But it IS 6833... oh yeah, it's not your car... my bag isn't inside"
"Here-lah... your car is over here!"
"Wow! What are the chances of finding two cars with the numbers 6833 in the same parking lot?"
"Have we got the right car this time?"

**REQUESTS**

Does anyone have a Windows XP Professional installation software that I can borrow? (beg? steal?). Please?

The Imperial College Union Malaysian Society Fresher's Reception is a mouthful to say and was held at Equatorial Hotel today. (Do all Equatorial Hotels sit right on the Equator? Or is it just false advertising?)
I have this great fear of being alone at social functions and creating horrifying social faux pas without my loyal (but few) friends to quickly cover up for me and whisper to everyone "Oh, you know, that's Charl... she's slightly mental but nice when you get to know her... if you dare". I am relieved to say that I did not make any horrifying social faux pas today. The only *blush* moment occured when I was standing at the podium during the round of introductions and said the magic words: "... and I'm from Raffles Junior College, Singapore". All of a sudden there was a stir and a mumur of "ooos" and "ohs" passing through the room, and from that moment hence forth I am now 'the one from RJ'.
Meeting new people who are going to be a part of your life for the next 4 years is a make or break situation. In those few hours you've already summed up who you can relate to and who you cannot stand to be in the same room with. I DO hope my first impressions today are right. They usually aren't.

----------------------------

I've finally figured out that straight, sleek, tame hair is just not me. After receiving the four-way-style-to-go (straightener and crimper) from Vidal Sassoon, my hair is now a big mass of waves and little curls. Greg would be so proud. (TLY! I know what you're going to say so you don't need to say it!!)

I'll be arriving in Singapore on the 29th of August at approximately 1230 hours. I will be leaving Singapore on the 1st of September at 1300 hours. In other words I'll be spending Merdeka day (National day) in our closest rival country. I applaud my own patroitism.

Yesterday... (after telling Grace my Econs results)

Grace: HAHAHA honey, this means... that you're really an arts student at heart.
Me: no! no! no! i'm a science student... i really am! *sniffle*
Grace: *pat pat* there there.... it's all right, you can come out of the closet now you know

-----------------

Am currently browsing through my Freshers' Handbook. It says I'm allowed to study a humanities subject as a credit-bearing component of my degree programme at Imperial. I'm now stuck in a rut. There's an amazing range of musical activities... but I'm not very confident of my music skills anymore. My piano no longer sings... it sulks! - its own way of punishing me for not practising over the past 2 years.
There's a visual arts programme which includes artist-in-residence projects... Yay! That means all year round displays from visiting and residential artists. Yippee!
And then there's the Humanities Programme. I want to take modern literature and drama as one elective, but someone has got to help me decide between philosophy, art and nature and creative writing. Help?
And best of all I can take evening classes in a foreign language. Will probably give French a go again. Maybe brush up on my Mandarin too (going all the way to London to learn Mandarin must be the daftest thing anyone can possibly do... but doing daft things is fast becoming a trademark of mine).
So much to think about before I leave... a penny for my thoughts, anyone?

Happiness is always short lived. This morning I stepped into the office with a big smile on my face. Now I'm slowly counting down the minutes till 5:30pm (19 more to go) while hiding in my office cubicle trying to remain as invisible as possible. Meanwhile (I suspect) some rather angry operators some 700 metres away in the production line are looking high and low for me.

Sigh...

I really didn't mean to break the wedge on the ball shear machine. I am very very aware (I was reminded at least 3 times last week) that it costs USD 200 to replace the damn little wedge (which measures less than a cm in height and less than 5 mm in width). And I really did not cause the die to crack on purpose thus chipping the wedge which now cannot be used anymore thus rendering the entire machine unusable. *sniffle*

However, when I mentioned this to my engineer supervisors, I merely received a shrug of shoulders and anecdotes on the many times *they* had spoilt the machine, (and not just on one occasion). The engineers' nonchalence is not helping to soothe the operators' anger though... they are still grumbling at me for the broken link in the production process...

I got this in the mail today:

Statement of Results
Candidate Name: CHARLOTTE YEOW SHU CHEN

GCE AS & A Level
Syllabus: 9708
Syllabus Title: Economics
Qualification: Advanced Level
Result: A(a)

*Big Grin*

Dammit Charm, I owe you a treat now!

They say that if you have an infinite number of monkeys typing at an infinite number of keyboards for an infinite period of time, you will get the collected works of Shakespeare.

If you want the source code to Microsoft Windows, you need to add more monkeys.

The office is so very quiet on Monday mornings... so quiet that the sound of my sneakers shuffling on the carpet as I stoll in, 5 minutes late, is unusually and embarassingly defeaning. You can just about see little grey clouds hanging over everyone's head with the words "Blardy ******* Monday!" flashing in dim neon lights with a few missing bulbs. I'm very careful to tread lightly around the cubicles of my supervisors on Mondays (not to mention around my supervisors themselves). No one wants to be the victim of Monday massacres.

-------------------------------

I like singing... when nobody is listening. I sing in the bath, I sing with my radio blasting so no one can hear me and I even sing when I'm working in the factory line (the machines are so noisy you'd have to shout before someone even notices you're trying to catch their attention and besides, singing helps me to pass the time while doing mechanical tasks). Lately I've taken to singing in the car when I'm driving (alone!!). I've noticed that this elicits weird stares from other drivers (but why the heck are they looking into my car in the first place? Traffic lights are not stop-and-check-what-the-driver-next-to-you-is-doing zones!).
Seeing that drivers next to me are always checking me out, I decided to check out what other drivers were doing. Here's what I've noticed: The majority of middle-aged, working-class drivers who are alone in their cars usually stare blankly out of their windscreens, eerily resembling zombies. I dare say they hardly blink. They look as if their minds have gotten up and wandered off, leaving their soul-less shells to drive their cars on auto pilot (go straight, if read red light : stop, else if read green light: go, else if read police: slow down, check that seat belt is on and road tax has been paid).
Now if there is more than one person in the car, the driver is noticeably more alive. Two women drivers are always giggling and more often than not, their eyes are not on the road (I have personally seen this for myself when Jun Ling actually turned around to talk to the few of us seated in the back seat while driving. I appreciate the fact that we are still alive). If it's two guys however, it's just plain dangerous. Guys tend to become aggressive in packs. They honk at me, they overtake me at fatal speeds and they edge their flashy cars right up next to mine and give me dirty looks when I'm taking too long at a junction (I can just about hear them cursing "woman driver!"). I nonchalently retaliate by edging my car ahead of theirs and taking my time to infuriate them more... which my mother says is going to get me pounded to pulp one day. If they are not the type who are bitching to each other about the lousy woman driver in front... then they are flicking their hair and adjusting their shades and if they are in their twenties, they give their best shots at looking debonair-ish... or if they are in their forties they sport the air of datuks or tan sris (this helps if they are driving the latest BMWs and are trying to bump my little Waja out of the way).
One last leetle teensy fact I've noticed that is possibly of no importance to anybody is that, I've never caught anyone singing! I'm not going to start a support group, but honestly don't you think singing would just brighten up everyone's day... even if you're stuck in a traffic jam on the LDP that moves an inch every 10 minutes. Then, perhaps everyone will stop staring at me bopping my head while singing along to Hitz.fm in my car.

Observations made while shopping for jeans
1. It is possible to find decent looking jeans for less than RM 50 *glee*
2. It is delusional to think that you can fit into a size 26 *wail*
3. It is not sinful to buy 4 pairs of jeans in one day *living in denial*

5 hours of shopping has produced 4 pairs of jeans, 2 denim skirts, a sweater, 2 pairs of earrings and a new found determination to fit into size 27 jeans by Christmas. Note to self: Avoid all potatoes in London... even if they hold you at gun point.

Everyone's talking about leaving, about leading new lives, about chasing new dreams.
Me? I already left.... 2 years and 8 months ago.

I left home without realising it. When you're not yet 18 and you're packing your precious things (a rosary for my bedside, colour pencils for my desk, a photo of my cousin and myself staring cheekily out of 5 year old faces) to be moved temporarily to a new room in a place you don't know yet, you don't realise that they'll never be returned to their old dusty spots in your home again... they'll always be in and out of suitcases, in different rooms and different places, and in 2 months time... different countries. They'll never come home.

And neither will I... I am home, yet I'm not home. This is not the same place that I left behind one cold January morning. This is not the room within which I built my cosy sanctuary, entertained my dreams or hid from the world. The walls have forgotten me. The floor feels cold and polite. I'm merely a guest... biding my time till I leave again. I don't really belong here anymore.

Then where do I belong?

Today is my little sister's birthday. I woke her up this morning at the unearthly hour of 7am and said "Happy Birthday Bambino!" for which she grunted and tried to hit me in the face before rolling over and drifting back to sleep.
Maybe it's the surly teen in her surfacing through. She turns 13 today.

In other news:
An NUS proffesor (vice dean of the engineering faculty) was slashed to death yesterday... and it was only the second week of term! He was a Malaysian (they mostly are...) what a loss to both our countries.

*MARS WATCH*

If you are still awake tonight, go take a look at the moon. See the little red dot next to it? That's Mars! Dazzling isn't it? Even the full moon can't outshine it. Keep a watch on Mars from now till the 27th. Trust me, you don't want to miss this!

Monday night was the 15th day of the 7th month of the Chinese Calender. During the 7th month, I always try to make it home before sunset because I am *gasp* extremely superstitious. Say what you like about having a strong hold on my Christian beliefs and science-based explanations. I will not take any chances at crossing paths with visitors on a one month holiday from the underworld. So I'm sorry for all yum chas and night outings I'll have to postpone until the 7th month is well and truly over.

On a cheerier (is that word valid?) note... NEW PICS! Go take a look. Don't scrutinise my face. The pimples are simply devastating!

courtesy of Graffiti (c) 2003 UNITED FEATURE SYNDICATE, Inc.

"A theory is a hunch with a college education"

Hah! Now I can glare at my most despised Quantum Theory with disdain!! *glare*

Talk about failed objectives. Yesterday I made a resolution to walk into Mid Valley and come out with a pair of jeans.
Yesterday I walked into Mid Valley, got stuck in the lingerie section of Jaya Jusco for half an hour, browsed through Lewre shoes, raided entire Metro Jaya (which in my opinion is the best place to get some peaceful yet extensive shopping done), made a quick dash into Quicksilver, detoured to Salabianca, MNG and finally Urban & Co. (the clothes on sale were the same ones on sale 2 months ago, ditto for Sommerset Bay... so what's the deal about the Mega Sales? Is it some goverment herd-mentality experiment scheme?).
Came home sans jeans.
Am now considering losing some fat before even thinking of buying jeans!

At the rate Motorola is making me fast-walk around the plant, I might lose that fat sooner than I think! This morning alone I must have walked a total of 3km while searching for an operator who was searching for me. In this age of modern telecommunication, you can't imagine how difficult it is to contact someone who's in the same building as you!

Malaysia's Mega Carnival Sales are overrated. Seriously!

Nothing that's on sale is really worth buying. All the good stuff is not even displayed. And when you think about it... what's the point in spending more than a hundred bucks before a 25% discount becomes effective??

I still spent 5 hours shopping at KLCC though. Don't ask!

The Motorola Trainee's Week: Continued

Wednesday
"It's the middle of the week! It's the middle of the week!"
Kavi is only restrained from dancing around the line by the constrictions of the smock
"What's he got to be so happy about?"
"Soo San's on leave..."
"He's not the only one with a supervisor who's on leave. Vivien and Fong strolled in at 9 this morning!!!"
Kavi returns with a downcast look and a megazine of substrates
"She's not on leave after all" *mutters* "BIG project she said... very important, Kavi... a major responsibility she said... and what am I doing now? Wire peel and Wire pull tests! 30 test per unit! 20 units per megazine!" *breaks down and cries on the wire pull machine*
Li Ling shrugs "At least you're not searching for foreign matter on the dies"
"Weren't you all ready to confront Soo San on giving you mind-numbing operator type jobs?"
"Have YOU ever SEEN her? I've been her trainee for a month and I've never seen her SMILE!"
*mutters* "and I bet she eats little children for breakfast too"

Thursday
"We've been in the cafeteria for an hour!"
"Who cares? Your supervisor won't miss you"
"But break is only 20 minutes"
"Oh really..."
Fong returns from his 4th trip to the food line
"Haiyah, it takes 10 minutes to walk from office to cafeteria and 10 minutes to walk back. Lidat, 20 minutes gone already!"
"Oh my gosh!! There's foreign matter in my guava!!"
"Relax Li Ling... relax! Foreign matter only occurs on dies ok... only on the dies..."
"psst... they're really killing her spirit aren't they?"

Friday
Trainees are walking with little springs attached to their shoes
Everyone is working with a noticeable increase in efficiency... no one is puking because of the scopes
"9 more hours to the weekend! Can you feel it? Can you just feel it?"
"I don't care! Today I'm leaving at 5:30 sharp! I don't care if the ovens don't work! I am Going Home!"
"What if Dom needs you to stay?"
"He's a grown man... he can take care of himself!"
"Lets go for a 2 hour lunch break"
"But we already had a 2 hour lunch break yesterday... AND its not very discrete when 5 trainees leave the office together!"
"Why are you walking that way? The exit is here..."
"And so is my boss's office! I'm trying to avoid her! Duh!"
"Wow! It's 5:15 already? Hey! Where's everybody????"
Pin drop silence plays in the background...

** disclaimer **
All names mentioned are real, most situations and conversations are not (except for the part about the clocks standing still for eternity)...
Erm... and if anyone mentioned above chances upon my blog... I think all you trainees are great, and I wouldn't survive here without you guys and hey! I know I didn't exactly put in the whole truth, but I didn't really want to scare any future Motorola trainees. =)

The Motorola Trainee's Week: From Bungee Jumping Into Hell and Back Again...

Monday
A blood curdling scream fills the air.
"It's the damned ovens! They're using it for production! I'll never get to use them! My precious ovens! ... my precious..."
"psst.... Li Ling's having Monday Daymares"
"AND nightmares... the ovens haunt her after sunset"
Kavi proudly produces his MC and medication
"Monday symptoms? AGAIN??"
"Hey! I it takes alot of effort to work for my MC ok?"
The hands of the office clock obstinately remain stationary (stationery? I can never get this right!)
"Huh?" wail "It's only 10:30?"
After an eternity
"What? It's only 10:35??"
"Save us the suspense, Charlotte"

Tuesday
"Is it Wednesday today?"
"Don't get our hopes up, Charlotte, it's only Tuesday"
"Damn!"
"Where were you during break?"
"I didn't get one! At 9:30 my supervisor said 'Lets go!' and instead of heading to the cafeteria, we went to the line! She tricked me! She did!"
"It's just not your day"
"WHEN is it MY day?"
"Never... and if I were you I wouldn't eat that second piece of chicken... haven't you got to use the scopes later?"
"Oh NO! I'm going to puke in the line if they make me use the scopes!"
"Well, that's the spirit! Contaminate the line and we'll all get half the day off!! Yay!"
Images of trainees doing a jig while I puke in the line runs through my head...

** shall finish this later... after I get inspiration from watching Li Ling wrestle the operators for the ovens... **

After 4 weeks of working as a trainee engineer I've decided that the best job for me is to be a data entry clerk. It's simple, it requires no creativity whatsoever and... I find keying in numericals rather therapeutic.

Working life is pushing me to the brink!

--------------------------------

I almost came close to believing that the significance of some friendships are inversely related to time. Years ago we could talk about anything under the sun. We shared problems and gave advice and shared hopes and secrets... then gradually the conversations began to lull, the meetings less frequent, the things we talked about became more trivial - along the lines of "so whats up?" "nothing much, u?" "i'm ok" "ok, that's good"... but last night I discovered some friendships are like sinusoidal waves... with crests and troughs (this is a very crappy analogy but it was the first one that came to mind... I DO NOT miss SHM!). Just when you think some friendships have reached rock bottom, you hear an excited voice on the other end... waiting to tell you the good news, the things that have been on their minds, the advice they need to hear, or just asking for a listening ear and shoulder to cry on. *Grin* want me to draw a friendship graph for you?

You needed a friend last night, I just needed to feel needed.

Am suffering from weekend hangover... thus resulting in Monday blues. I can never function properly on Mondays. I wake up wondering where the hell I am and what is that stupid ringing sound coming from my clock?? I then end up at the office thinking what a miracle it is that I didn't crash my car on the way and try to clear the fuzziness in my head with a cup of too-sweet milo. I can't take coffee... it does weird things to my entire system... which already goes bonkus on Mondays. The labs are too cold, the work is too monotonous, the powerscopes make me nauseous, the lamps are making me dizzy...

The trip down to Singapore was my great getaway from everything in KL. Odacia was fun. Meeting with batch mates, seniors, juniors, the ancient ones... you can't help feeling as if you never left RJ at all! It feels good to know that there are some things that are still constant even when everything around you is changing. Greg will still be showing off at the rock wall. Xinyi will still leave her things around for us to hide. Batch XVII girls will still find it difficult to get all five of us together for a girl photo. Certain people will still be making ngai zai jokes. Sarah will still be loud and on. Leroy will still be more energetic than the 9 batches after his. Batch XVII will still be trying to prove their worth on the floorball court (albeit we ARE getting old and out of touch, and I nearly died after only 2 minutes!).

Discovered that clubbing isn't my cup of tea, or coffee, hot chocolate... or even milo. Loud, wild, brazen scenes just aren't my thing... as Greg, Anu and Sugi rightly predicted. There really isn't any point in dressing up for it when nothing but white shows up under UV lights. I don't get house music at all... and well, there were reasons why my ballet teacher asked me to drop ballet, so dancing... or rather bopping to the beat... is just not for me either. Alcohol had absolutely no effect on me... felt as sober as when I woke up that morning... but that's probably because I didn't drink enough. Verdict? Clubbing is over-rated! I'll stick to my quiet little cafes, with my simple hot cocoa with gallons of whipped cream and tiramisu cakes! mmmmm....

Had more fun meeting up with the Charm, Sherene, Baa and Venki... who all had seriously interesting stories to tell. *ahem* Strange things are happening at NUS!

Some holidays feel so packed and yet too short... you never do get to do everything you want to do... If I could, I'd want to walk down every path on memory lane, just in case I never return again... but wishful thinking is a terrible fault of mine. I'll be back soon, I hope!

Going down to Singapore tomorrow. Will be back on Sunday. Need a break. Miss Odac. Too. Tired. To.

Utter...

Another...

Word.

Half my time at motorola is spent walking up and down the assembly line asking the operators, "Kak, kamu ada guna kerusi ini tak?".
For all the billions motorola earns, its almost cruel that they won't spend it on putting enough chairs at the assembly line and thus all workers will (I suspect) succumb to osteoporosis, spine degeneration and weak knees due to long, long hours of standing in front of machines! (I haven't even taken into account the effects of being in a confined environment where UV rays and chemical gases are being emitted 24 hours a day). The only answer the operators give me when I start to whine is "Adik, you pandai pandai lah jaga diri. Bila ada peluang mesti curi kerusi untuk sendiri..."

The working world has taught me the virtue of being sneaky and looking after my own interests first.

Ironically... today I have so much work to do that I even skipped morning break!
*rumbling stomach*

Yesterday's lost post:


my kite

i once wished for a kite
that would be twice my height
to fly away fly away in the sky
and i'd ride on my bike
as i pull its tail tight
and we'd fly with the wind by and by
now here in this room
sits unavoidable gloom
watching a kite fly away fly away in my mind
with my eyes shut close
i'll see on the tip of my nose
my kite and my bike
on a windy ride
leaving me far away far away behind

~ "spluttered outbursts" said the bored trainee at work

"some horrible news i just found out today"

"erm... the suicide case you mean?"

"i went back to sch today and read the grief in the cb..."

"oh gosh...was it someone close to the j2s?"

"oh you mean you don't know who??"

"no.. i just heard it was a girl. who was it?"

"you know... the one who dropped out (of odac) because of her nus talentime commitment...
the one who went to east timor...
the one who always wore a smile on her face...
the one who eventually joined council..."

"oh GAWD! not HER!!"


when you hear about tragedies like this you try to distance yourself from it... its just easy to think that it was some poor, stressed out girl who just couldn't cope with exam and/or peer pressures of RJ... and then you discover out of the blue... it was someone you knew... and the most unlikely person of all... and suddenly you feel a connection through those few times you spoke... to her... about her... you didn't really know her... but still you're connected by more than just belonging to the same college...
i remember greg saying he had a good feeling about you being an odacian... and i fought with greg about giving you a second chance... in the end, you proved me right... and you went on to the greenest pastures in college (student council)... and we never did forgive you for rejecting odac for it, although we couldn't really be angry because you had such a cheerful disposition... but what i felt so strongly a year and a half ago now seems so silly and petty... i'm sorry...
and i really wonder what could have pushed you so far to the edge that you had to take your own life. i guess it only proves that the smile on the exterior just plays mask to inner scars and you just never know...

I've been doing magic in the office.
Technically its illegal for muggles to perform any sort of magic, but I think the ministry of magic will let me go on this one (after all if we're talking about the MALAYSIAN ministry of magic here... it can't be that efficient... they'll probably send a warning to some poor confused fellow in kuala pillah on charges of being an unregistered bomoh).
I discovered this little bit of magic a few days ago when some trainees were talking about it over lunch. Here in Motorola, trainees aren't particularly nit-picky about hiding little secret spells that help them get their jobs done... and more importantly help to bide their boring hours while hiding from supervisors. This particular spell is called Ghostzilla. The purpose of the spell is to prevent supervisors from snooping on you to check that you aren't wasting precious company time surfing the net. But since I'm getting paid a measly salary, I can't be particularly bothered about doing things by the book here.
Using Ghostzilla is so easy, you'd swear it's magic... which it is, of course *ahem*. All I need is my magical mouse. Now, I could be working on my calculations in, say, Microsoft Excel, and once I'm sure that my supervisors aren't looking, I quickly flick my mouse left-right-left across the screen and voila! a browser pops up within my Excel screen. Now, my supervisors will still think I'm hard at work, doing my statistics, because if they just glance at me, they'll still be able to see the Excel Taskbar at the top of my screen. Meanwhile, my browser window has transformed into a black and white or grey scale document, so that from afar it looks like I'm still typing out my report. But if I hover my magical mouse pointer over my pictures, they turn coloured again. And if my supervisors suddenly decide to swoop down on me for a surprise visit, all I have to do is move my mouse pointer to the top of the screen and in the blink of an eye, my original work is restored with not a trace of my browser... even in the taskbar! And after my supervisor leaves, its left-right-left with the mouse again and my browser window appears just as I left it.
Now, isn't that simply magical?

[to be sung to the tune of 'I've been working on the railroad']

i've been working in the fact'ry line
only the whole damn day
i've been measuring little wires
there's gotta be a better way
this involves no innovation,
no techniques, skill, nor my brain
my mind is grad-u-ally rotting
i fear i'll go insane


** all rights reserved ** all critical comments too **

----------------------------------------

I'm currently absorbed in inspecting a hideous rash that has developed around my ring finger. Is there a possibility that I'm allergic to 925 silver? Or just rings that are too tight?

Time has a very funny way of passing you by. In the mornings it almost seems as if the hands of my watch are stationary, but after lunch break... time seems to whizz off like a roller-coaster and I am running, huffing and puffing, after it as I try to fit as many things as I can into it before it whizzes of again. And then there are parts of there day where I seem to have pockets of time that appear here and there... and I really wonder what to do with them, and by the time I've decided what to do... I'm left with no time at all.


I've done it again haven't I? I've miffed you off, and I don't know why. No, I have an inkling... but I'm still confused. Am I really that lacking in EQ? Till I can't understand what lesson you're trying to teach me here? I don't think I deserve this punishment.

*grin*

I am now the proud owner of an Olympus Stylus 300 Digital Camera.
That's 3.2 megapixels. That's 3X optical lens. That's 16MB + 64MB of memory. That's more than I know how to deal with.

n.b. - the camera is a going away gift from my uncle who fears that I am not high tech enough for London... *shrug*

I shall now declare Saturdays as my "give me a break! I work 5 days a week from 8-5:30!" day! This is my official decree!
No one is to wake me up any earlier than 9am.
No one is to interrupt my tedious morning beauty routine
No one is to tell me to get out of the bathroom because I've spent an entire hour just tending to my hair
No one is to serve me breakfast that isn't decent
and...
No one is to tell me what to do the whole day!

Except my mummy. Just because.

I need to store this link here for awhile... 'cos I don't have anywhere else to put it...
Odac Room Pics
The wave of nostalgia that just passed over me when I looked at the pictures was overwhelming... funny how pictures of 8" by 8" sketchbooks full of nonsensical philosophising agonising argumenting empathising encouraging scribbles can make me feel like I wish we could do it all over again. Maybe to outsiders it was just a lot of verbal garbage and cows and pigs... but to us... we were recording friendships, feelings, and our vivacious teenage lives.
Once an Odacian, Forever an Odacian...

Funny how looking at old Interact stuff doesn't tug at the same heart strings.

Friday Fives.
It's not Friday, but I'm bored and feel like boring you anyway...

1. Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it?
Must have been in kindergarten. I think her name is Carmen, I don't even remember her surname. But I can clearly remember her face... her five year old face... chubby and smiley and dimpled. I still keep a photo of us, taken before she left kindergarten. There's Carmen, all smiles and dimples, and then there's me... pretending to look bored and pouting and affected, giving the impression that taking photos was beneath me. I don't know why I did that! I wish I didn't...

2. Are you still in touch with this person?
No. I don't know where she is now and I would be the least likely person to recognise her even if she turned out to be my next door neighbour or similar.

3. Do you have a current close friend?
Greg's my closest friend. Period.

4. How did you become friends with this person?
Well... you go hiking and running and climbing and kayaking and abseiling together and see where that leads you. Most likely to 3 hour long chats at the hawker centre or jumping on buses just to see where they go or sms-ing till 3 in the morning to keep each other awake while studying for Physics tests. I think that's how you become close friends... taking an interest, talking, trusting and caring...

5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why?
Plenty! I often wonder what happened to my friends in kindergarten... like Kristin whom I played 'gangsters' with, or Ken who sat with me during story time. I guess maintaining kindergarten friendships isn't expected of you... all the same, its not like I'm doing a very good job of maintaining friendships now. Then there are friends who just one day disappeared from my life without warning, like Adrian who was in my Taekwon-do class, and friends from Standard 6 whom I never saw again the day I left SSP. Even now as I watch secondary school friends spread further and further away like the outer circles of a ripple... I still can't make the effort to contact them. Ironic that globalisation is bringing everyone else closer... not for me. In the words of one wise pighead...

"How maintaining relationship is an art ---- one realised by few ; practised by less ; mastered by none -- and moreover appreciated by all."

My daddy has been hospitalised for severe leg pain and possibly pinched nerves caused by his last slip disk.

Most of my life I've always thought of my parents as indestructable beings (who would possibly live forever if they didn't keep saying we 3 kids would be the death of them). But the idea of my dad lying in a hospital (hospitable?) bed for a week is unbearable. My daddy has been an athelete and a sportsman for most of his life (which is needless to say that I, his firstborn, was a dissapointment when at the age of 2 it was obvious I had very poor hand-foot-eye coordination). Even in his 50s, my daddy is still regularly playing badminton and tennis 2-3 times a week and golf on the weekends. But now we're waiting for the doctors to tell us what is wrong with my Daddy's legs. I can't help but worry due to my lack of bio knowledge... and I cannot imagine an immobile daddy. The biggest nightmare for a sportsman has to be the loss of the use of they're limbs. I don't want it to be that way for my daddy, and yet the whole family has to accept that neither of my parents are getting any younger (they're old parents to begin with)... and that old age comes with weakness, pain, diseases... and eventually death.

And just after I told Daryan that I swear I've been blogging consistently... I find I have no time to blog, or rather nothing to say. There's been a hell lot of interesting stuff in the papers lately, but I haven't had the time to peruse it carefully as I used to, back in the old days (ok... 2 weeks ago!) when I had perfectly good mornings to waste lying in bed instead of collecting data in an astronaut suit in a cold lab.
I had an absolutely packed... and fattening... weekend. Beginning with friday night, when Greg arrived after travelling 7 hours at the crowded out and sleazy Pudu Raya station (on the way home, we discovered the existence of University Kuala Lumpur. "Huh?" you say? Well, of course no one knows about it... it's only lit up at night!) and feasted on crabs, satay and yee meen. Woke up the next morning at the bright and early hour of 9am (that's early for Greg... the OCS guy... *shrug*) and straight away drove to O&S for a breakfast of Curry Laksa, Popiah, Chee Cheong Fun and Indian Rojak. Then went to USJ Giant to make an appearance at the Brat's Charity (and was only outshone by VJ Sarah Tan). Met an amazing amount of people I never knew were Brats, new Brats and downright ancient Brats. It's amazing that the car tyres could still hold our weight as we drove to Bangsar Shopping Centre to visit Charm, who was teaching knee-high people (they're called kids, Charlotte, KIDS!) to fold Origami birds and houses. I had a long and intense conversation with an 8 yr old about Barbie dolls, before we proceeded (sans Charm) to have lunch at Esquire Kitchen (Pau with Ma Poh Taufu, Sze Chuan fried Eggplant and Fried Chicken with Onion Rings. Charl - Yum! Yum!, Greg - Eggplant???!!! You know you're going to be finishing that up by yourself, right?). Then we rescued Charm from the pint-size... oh alright... KIDS... and went down to Strudels to eat... Apple Strudel (duh!). After going to church (to thank God for delicious Malaysian food that is better than Singaporean fare, anyday!) my entire family went to Sri Hartamas to try out a new restaurant, Suasana, that serves Lamb Goulash Masala (??!!). Not bad, really. But still think the stuff in Desa Sri Hartamas is funkier. After pigging out all day, what was going to stop us for having dim sum at Tai Thong for brunch the next day? After brunch, was dropped off at Midvalley... which for all its massiveness, hasn't really got much to buy. We ended up at Pets Wonderland, which is more of a mini zoo than a shop (how does it survive???). Then at 4pm, we ended up at the SS2 Secret Recipe for tea with Sugi and Michelle... and stayed there eating Oreo cheesecake and gossiping (Greg says the girls were bitching... but we like to think of it as an exchange of ideas) till almost 7:30pm. Went back home to mum's big feast of Assam Fish and Prawns, Grilled Pork Ribs, Mushroom Chicken Feet and Jack Fruit! Stuffed, stuffed, stuffed! Its great to feel absolutely Garfield-like and hoping that a meteorite will land on the Motorola plant so I wouldn't have to go to work the next day. But things I wish for usually don't come true. (*I wish for XK to be smart, charming and handsome*).
Well, Greg's back in Spore, and it's not my fault if he's looking rotund... I didn't force him to eat anything...
And it's back to work for me... time to don the awful smock again and go measure the accuracy of ball placements. Bah!

From The Star's Nation section (summarised & edited):
City Hall: No more performing licence for Instant Cafe Theatre

BY JANE RITIKOS
KUALA LUMPUR: City Hall has decided to no longer issue any performing licence to Instant Cafe Theatre Company (ICT) after the group refused to follow an order to revise the script of its sell-out show “The 2nd First Annual Bolehwood Awards 2003 – The Director’s Cut.”
In the letter to Utusan, a reader complained that the performance was rude and uncivilised, with utterances of profanity.
He also criticised the show for being insensitive to Islam, apart from making fun of politicians.
In its advertisement, ICT publicised the show as the “spoofs (of) everything under the Malaysian sun and no one, no institution, no project, no cultural norm is spared.”
Show director Jo Kukathas expressed shock at City Hall's decision.
She said it had informed her last Saturday to cut out five elements from the script including government policies, government agencies and the mention of anyone dead or alive, including Tan Sri P. Ramlee.
“This basically entails the entire show which is about society and government policies. It was too late to stop the show that night.
“City Hall also told us we must comply or else we had to pay a RM10,000 fine.
“After we thought it through and consulted our lawyers, we decided to continue with the show without any amendments because if we did, there would be no show,” she said in an interview.
Arts and culture activist Kathy Rowland in her letter to Utusan on Wednesday defended the “Bolehwood” show, explaining that since its inception in 1989, ICT had been performing satires even at official government functions.
“This shows Malaysian poli-ticians are mature enough to appreciate a comedy such as “Bolehwood,” an indication that Malaysia is a democratic country,” she wrote.


-----------------------------------

First compulsory national service for 18 yr olds, then the laws against couples holding hands... and now this...
Farewell to free expression, free speech and free minds...

How many miligrams of fat did Selena say was in one Mc Vitie's Digestive Cookie again? I've eaten 3 out of boredom this morning. But it does say 25% less vegetable fat on the box! *shrug*

-------------------------------

Edit: Checked the Nutritional Information on the Mc Vitie's box. According to the nutritionists at the Mc Vitie's lab, for every 100grams of digestives, I am consuming 16.2grams of Fat of which 7.0grams saturates. So an entire box of digestives which weighs 250grams will contain 40.5grams of fat of which 17.5grams saturates. I know this is accurate. I checked with a calculator.


I've lost my appetite all of a sudden...

Reminders
1. Burn Russel Watson & Josh Groban CD for Charm (am still against anti piracy laws! but don't quote me on that)
2. Find out when and where the hell the Brats Charity is going to be... do not want Daryan directing us to the Thai Border...
3. Try not to yawn when supervisors are telling you their life stories. Your life isn't THAT interesting either
4. Try not to panic at new assignment given even if you have no clue where to start
5. Staring at the plasma clean machines is not a happening job, but hey, someone's gotta do it!
6. Try not to walk on air just because Greg will be here tomorrow!

Weather check for today: Lighter than air!

3rd day at work. Have been given something substantial to do: Read previous trainee's report on Alternative Method To Achieve Gram Per Mil Square For Wire Peel Test. If you didn't understand that, well don't ask me either. The process is pretty simple, but I'm having an excruciating time trying to read the report which reeks of Ah Bengness. Here's a sample:

It is insufficient data in analysis the successful of the calculation formula for this moment. More and more samples should be taken include MAPBGA and get an overall average data to proof the formula.
When do the measurement to get gram per mil square for wire peel test, make sure that the samples are from same bonder machine. It is because other bonder machine may be different condition and cause the wedge bond formation different.

Ouch!
I so wish to bang a great big grammar text book on his head!

Blogging from work... am such a thrill seeker...
am also bored, not sure if I can take this for another 7 weeks...
and its only the 2nd day of work...

I'm learning to recognise people from the top half of their faces. There's no other way, since everyone is in headgear and face masks, and it sure is stressful when EVERYONE is new to you. I'm easy to recognise... I'm the blur looking little white blob with a notebook in hand and trying really hard not to step on the toes of the senior engineers.

My cubicle is number 69. Odac's favourite number. hmmm...

First day as a trainee at Motorola. I swear that court shoes and an office skirt is NOT the right attire when you are meant to spend at least 3 quarters of the day in a germ free lab, almost unrecognisable due to the astronaut type lab smocks, headgear and face mask! So what exactly do I do? Well, nothing, quite truthfully. Currently I am learning to wire bond die to substrates (that may not make any sense, and if your brain works the way Ravi's does... NO! wire bonds have nothing to do with bondage! my job has NOTHING to do with whipping men into submission and chaining them up, are we clear Ravi dear?). I've also discovered that the best thing about being an engineer is that I will never really have to dress up for work! Scruffy is a norm! ahh... the perfect working environment...

my comments have disappeared. what did I do to make them leave me?

I'm really amused by all this hype about KL being the most unfriendly city in the world. Of course it's unfriendly! People like me live in it. The only way for me to survive in KL is to be just as thick skin as everyone else whether it's hogging the road, cutting queues and placing distrust in anyone I see, even if its a nice little old lady. Hey, you never know! Nice little old ladies could swindle you of your money, lure you into a dark unmonitered carpark and leave you to be gang raped.


Oh and final rant of the day...

WATER TALKS: It REALLY does!!! In the form of the National Economic Action Committee that is.

This is interesting... I'm going to wait a few days to see what's going to happen before I can comment. But for the moment it's MALAYSIA BOLEH! Singaporeans should one day experience what it's like to have water cuts and murky brown water flowing out their taps as we in the Klang Valley and KL STILL experience from time to time.

When your college becomes prime news in the Straits Times, it really boils the Rafflesian blood in you, doesn't it? What more when your college is reputedly the top in the country!
Student's Ticking-off Goes from RJC to Net
RJC Boy to be Disciplined for Film Ticking-off

When I first read the articles (sans photos), I assumed it was MY GP tutor. She was always berating PRCs and scholars, although she claimed she loved us more than disgusting ill-manered Singaporeans (particularly from RI *cough*). But I was wrong. My next guess was that it was the GP tutor Luke had a fight with, and walked out of her class straight into the vice principal's office. But I was wrong again. By now, you'd probably think that RJ is overrun with sarcastic, outspoken, soured old GP tutors... but it isn't... really. Each of us just likes to think OUR GP tutor is the worst (except those lucky bastards who got nice GP tutors like Mrs Chan).
I can't say that the student was in the wrong. His intentions, I assume, were good to start with... defending his PRC friend. My classmates would definitely feel for him after the hardship they went through in the form of my GP tutor. Something like this was just waiting to happen... like a bad chemical reaction of rebellious RJ students and sand paper tongued GP tutors.
All the same, I bet this was the chance RJ critics have been waiting for to lambast swollen headed, egoistic, blue blooded Rafflesians. For further brickbats, refer to Grace's blog.

I spent yesterday signing away my life to Gamuda Berhad. They are going to pay for my entire education, living expenses and return air tickets for the next 4 years. In return, I will offer my life to them for the following 5 years to do as they please; whether it is building tunnels, constructing highways, rearing pigs in kelongs... I am at their mercy. Today I spent a long morning at Kota Permai as the only girl among 6 scholars waiting to shake hands with the chairman of Gamuda (who looked neither awake nor asleep... more like... mummified...) at the Gamuda scholarship presentation award. While the other scholars brought their whole band wagon of excited mummies, daddies, siblings, aunties, grandmothers etc... MY parents came late! The senior scholars are just lovable! And so are the Gamuda staff.
So there... after being the most undecisive person alive, my next 9 years have already been planned out for me.

Back from the island. 4 FANTASTIC days (and nights, *grin*). Settled some stuff... left others hanging... Bemused and confused. Went back to RJ, to find another batch of Odacians with shattered dreams. The curse of my batch seems to linger on. Met up with some odacians. It was fun. With some people, the spirit of comradarie just never diminishes. Maybe I was a little lost at times, when things that were being discussed were out of my league (the Malaysian isolation feeling never changes), but still, the friendship is still there, the bonds still strong, the laughter still loud, the promises of "we'll meet up" still being made, the dreams of THE batch expedition to Sikkim still hopeful...
It's hard to be back home again. Feels like the last 4 days was a dream, a fleeting one... too much, too fast... too happy...

!!Attention please!!

Charlotte will be AWOL from tomorrow till thursday. Charlotte's brain (which has always been AWOL anyway) will be in Singapore with her or else in a secure location nearby. If you feel the need to urgently contact Charlotte, her handphone will be with her, but the cost incurred will be your own. If anyone desperately misses Charlotte during her absence, well, the feeling isn't mutual.

Oh alright, she'll miss you a teensy weensy bit.

And in case you are wondering... NO she is not bringing her pigs with her (yes their trotters will erode)... she will be leaving them in her kelong. (For the rest of the world who does not get this, don't bother... private swine jokes)

Charlie's Angels : Full Throttle
verdict: Oh yeah! Makes you feel all kick ass and wishing you had a butt like Cameron Diaz! It hasn't really got a lot of throttle but its definitely full of fun (if you stop thinking about how impossible most of the fight sequences are). Ooh... and that creepy thin guy... did anyone really get his part in the plot? And what's with the creepy thin guy name? He's more like guy-with-creepy-fetish-who-dies-an-anti-climatic-death. Oh well... This was definitely a better watch than the first! =)

Today I cringed in horror as I forced myself to watch the music video for Jewel's latest single: Intuition.
...
...
...
I don't know what to say. If this isn't a nightmare, please let me curl up and die!
I forgave her for This Way... everyone is allowed to kick off their shoes and produce bubblegummy tunes once in a while... but Jewel producing a track that sounds like J Lo?? and dancing??? even if she's actually ridiculling the pop-music world!!! *sob* You can't do this to me! You just can't DO this to me! My vision of the perfect music idol, my reason for strumming my guitar for hours on end, my inspiration for writing, composing, singing... all torn to shreds by a horrifying dance music video!
You know, maybe I just need to listen to the song a few times more... yeah... and everything will be alright again... and I'll be able to buy 0304 without shrinking from it... yeah... it'll be fine... everything is going to be O.K.


Who the shit am I kidding?

The Hulk
verdict: Unless you are a loyal-die-hard-superman-is-for-wimps-hulk-rules-take-that-spideyboy kinda person, you might want to think twice about exchanging your hard earned cash for movie tickets instead of, say, buying a nice green cactus that does not bloat up when made angry nor has complicated relationships with its power hungry father. Plus, it's not polite to yawn in the cinema as I did several times today.

I found this poem while randomly surfing on my favourite subject : myself
It's part of a collection of poems from the movie Autumn Sometimes directed by John Macaulay. You can find out more about it here


Charlotte Sometimes Part 1 & 2


(Part1)

Some times she is beautiful

Like a flower in the rain

Sometimes she is vulnerable

As she hides herself in shame

Sometimes she’s angelic

When she whispers through the room

Sometimes she does not realize

How she makes my heart swoon

Sometimes

Sometimes

And I want to be her savior

Her true and only love

I want to heal her bleeding heart

I want to watch the sunset

And hold he till the ‘morn

I want to be forever to her

And never to the world

But I have to settle for sometimes


(Part 2)

Sometimes flowers die returning to the earth

Sometimes mothers cry at their newborn baby’s birth

Sometimes love is fleeting

Like the autumn leaves that turn

Sometimes a candle may go out

Though a fire still may burn

Some times I sit in solitude

And curse the sky above

Sometimes I cry a tear of joy

When I think about our love

Sometime

Sometimes

Forever was to permanent

For an angel such as you

So I will savor every moment

That I got to share with you

Sometime

Sometimes

Sometimes I lay awake at night

And the wind sounds like you

Whispering to me in words

That say I miss you too

Sometimes love may come and go

But true love still remains

These times I realize your still here

To help me through this pain

Sometime

Sometimes

Some times I have to thank you

For opening eyes once blind

Sometimes I feel you are with me now

My savior Charlotte

Sometimes…



When I catch a glimpse of her

Sometime

Sometimes

Sometimes I dream at night

That we have kissed a thousand times

Sometimes when I see her

I feel my heart go blind

Sometimes I wish she’d hear my words

And hang on every line

But for now I am only me alone

And she is only Charlotte sometimes