Half my time at motorola is spent walking up and down the assembly line asking the operators, "Kak, kamu ada guna kerusi ini tak?".
For all the billions motorola earns, its almost cruel that they won't spend it on putting enough chairs at the assembly line and thus all workers will (I suspect) succumb to osteoporosis, spine degeneration and weak knees due to long, long hours of standing in front of machines! (I haven't even taken into account the effects of being in a confined environment where UV rays and chemical gases are being emitted 24 hours a day). The only answer the operators give me when I start to whine is "Adik, you pandai pandai lah jaga diri. Bila ada peluang mesti curi kerusi untuk sendiri..."

The working world has taught me the virtue of being sneaky and looking after my own interests first.

Ironically... today I have so much work to do that I even skipped morning break!
*rumbling stomach*

Yesterday's lost post:


my kite

i once wished for a kite
that would be twice my height
to fly away fly away in the sky
and i'd ride on my bike
as i pull its tail tight
and we'd fly with the wind by and by
now here in this room
sits unavoidable gloom
watching a kite fly away fly away in my mind
with my eyes shut close
i'll see on the tip of my nose
my kite and my bike
on a windy ride
leaving me far away far away behind

~ "spluttered outbursts" said the bored trainee at work

"some horrible news i just found out today"

"erm... the suicide case you mean?"

"i went back to sch today and read the grief in the cb..."

"oh gosh...was it someone close to the j2s?"

"oh you mean you don't know who??"

"no.. i just heard it was a girl. who was it?"

"you know... the one who dropped out (of odac) because of her nus talentime commitment...
the one who went to east timor...
the one who always wore a smile on her face...
the one who eventually joined council..."

"oh GAWD! not HER!!"


when you hear about tragedies like this you try to distance yourself from it... its just easy to think that it was some poor, stressed out girl who just couldn't cope with exam and/or peer pressures of RJ... and then you discover out of the blue... it was someone you knew... and the most unlikely person of all... and suddenly you feel a connection through those few times you spoke... to her... about her... you didn't really know her... but still you're connected by more than just belonging to the same college...
i remember greg saying he had a good feeling about you being an odacian... and i fought with greg about giving you a second chance... in the end, you proved me right... and you went on to the greenest pastures in college (student council)... and we never did forgive you for rejecting odac for it, although we couldn't really be angry because you had such a cheerful disposition... but what i felt so strongly a year and a half ago now seems so silly and petty... i'm sorry...
and i really wonder what could have pushed you so far to the edge that you had to take your own life. i guess it only proves that the smile on the exterior just plays mask to inner scars and you just never know...

I've been doing magic in the office.
Technically its illegal for muggles to perform any sort of magic, but I think the ministry of magic will let me go on this one (after all if we're talking about the MALAYSIAN ministry of magic here... it can't be that efficient... they'll probably send a warning to some poor confused fellow in kuala pillah on charges of being an unregistered bomoh).
I discovered this little bit of magic a few days ago when some trainees were talking about it over lunch. Here in Motorola, trainees aren't particularly nit-picky about hiding little secret spells that help them get their jobs done... and more importantly help to bide their boring hours while hiding from supervisors. This particular spell is called Ghostzilla. The purpose of the spell is to prevent supervisors from snooping on you to check that you aren't wasting precious company time surfing the net. But since I'm getting paid a measly salary, I can't be particularly bothered about doing things by the book here.
Using Ghostzilla is so easy, you'd swear it's magic... which it is, of course *ahem*. All I need is my magical mouse. Now, I could be working on my calculations in, say, Microsoft Excel, and once I'm sure that my supervisors aren't looking, I quickly flick my mouse left-right-left across the screen and voila! a browser pops up within my Excel screen. Now, my supervisors will still think I'm hard at work, doing my statistics, because if they just glance at me, they'll still be able to see the Excel Taskbar at the top of my screen. Meanwhile, my browser window has transformed into a black and white or grey scale document, so that from afar it looks like I'm still typing out my report. But if I hover my magical mouse pointer over my pictures, they turn coloured again. And if my supervisors suddenly decide to swoop down on me for a surprise visit, all I have to do is move my mouse pointer to the top of the screen and in the blink of an eye, my original work is restored with not a trace of my browser... even in the taskbar! And after my supervisor leaves, its left-right-left with the mouse again and my browser window appears just as I left it.
Now, isn't that simply magical?

[to be sung to the tune of 'I've been working on the railroad']

i've been working in the fact'ry line
only the whole damn day
i've been measuring little wires
there's gotta be a better way
this involves no innovation,
no techniques, skill, nor my brain
my mind is grad-u-ally rotting
i fear i'll go insane


** all rights reserved ** all critical comments too **

----------------------------------------

I'm currently absorbed in inspecting a hideous rash that has developed around my ring finger. Is there a possibility that I'm allergic to 925 silver? Or just rings that are too tight?

Time has a very funny way of passing you by. In the mornings it almost seems as if the hands of my watch are stationary, but after lunch break... time seems to whizz off like a roller-coaster and I am running, huffing and puffing, after it as I try to fit as many things as I can into it before it whizzes of again. And then there are parts of there day where I seem to have pockets of time that appear here and there... and I really wonder what to do with them, and by the time I've decided what to do... I'm left with no time at all.


I've done it again haven't I? I've miffed you off, and I don't know why. No, I have an inkling... but I'm still confused. Am I really that lacking in EQ? Till I can't understand what lesson you're trying to teach me here? I don't think I deserve this punishment.

*grin*

I am now the proud owner of an Olympus Stylus 300 Digital Camera.
That's 3.2 megapixels. That's 3X optical lens. That's 16MB + 64MB of memory. That's more than I know how to deal with.

n.b. - the camera is a going away gift from my uncle who fears that I am not high tech enough for London... *shrug*

I shall now declare Saturdays as my "give me a break! I work 5 days a week from 8-5:30!" day! This is my official decree!
No one is to wake me up any earlier than 9am.
No one is to interrupt my tedious morning beauty routine
No one is to tell me to get out of the bathroom because I've spent an entire hour just tending to my hair
No one is to serve me breakfast that isn't decent
and...
No one is to tell me what to do the whole day!

Except my mummy. Just because.

I need to store this link here for awhile... 'cos I don't have anywhere else to put it...
Odac Room Pics
The wave of nostalgia that just passed over me when I looked at the pictures was overwhelming... funny how pictures of 8" by 8" sketchbooks full of nonsensical philosophising agonising argumenting empathising encouraging scribbles can make me feel like I wish we could do it all over again. Maybe to outsiders it was just a lot of verbal garbage and cows and pigs... but to us... we were recording friendships, feelings, and our vivacious teenage lives.
Once an Odacian, Forever an Odacian...

Funny how looking at old Interact stuff doesn't tug at the same heart strings.

Friday Fives.
It's not Friday, but I'm bored and feel like boring you anyway...

1. Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it?
Must have been in kindergarten. I think her name is Carmen, I don't even remember her surname. But I can clearly remember her face... her five year old face... chubby and smiley and dimpled. I still keep a photo of us, taken before she left kindergarten. There's Carmen, all smiles and dimples, and then there's me... pretending to look bored and pouting and affected, giving the impression that taking photos was beneath me. I don't know why I did that! I wish I didn't...

2. Are you still in touch with this person?
No. I don't know where she is now and I would be the least likely person to recognise her even if she turned out to be my next door neighbour or similar.

3. Do you have a current close friend?
Greg's my closest friend. Period.

4. How did you become friends with this person?
Well... you go hiking and running and climbing and kayaking and abseiling together and see where that leads you. Most likely to 3 hour long chats at the hawker centre or jumping on buses just to see where they go or sms-ing till 3 in the morning to keep each other awake while studying for Physics tests. I think that's how you become close friends... taking an interest, talking, trusting and caring...

5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why?
Plenty! I often wonder what happened to my friends in kindergarten... like Kristin whom I played 'gangsters' with, or Ken who sat with me during story time. I guess maintaining kindergarten friendships isn't expected of you... all the same, its not like I'm doing a very good job of maintaining friendships now. Then there are friends who just one day disappeared from my life without warning, like Adrian who was in my Taekwon-do class, and friends from Standard 6 whom I never saw again the day I left SSP. Even now as I watch secondary school friends spread further and further away like the outer circles of a ripple... I still can't make the effort to contact them. Ironic that globalisation is bringing everyone else closer... not for me. In the words of one wise pighead...

"How maintaining relationship is an art ---- one realised by few ; practised by less ; mastered by none -- and moreover appreciated by all."

My daddy has been hospitalised for severe leg pain and possibly pinched nerves caused by his last slip disk.

Most of my life I've always thought of my parents as indestructable beings (who would possibly live forever if they didn't keep saying we 3 kids would be the death of them). But the idea of my dad lying in a hospital (hospitable?) bed for a week is unbearable. My daddy has been an athelete and a sportsman for most of his life (which is needless to say that I, his firstborn, was a dissapointment when at the age of 2 it was obvious I had very poor hand-foot-eye coordination). Even in his 50s, my daddy is still regularly playing badminton and tennis 2-3 times a week and golf on the weekends. But now we're waiting for the doctors to tell us what is wrong with my Daddy's legs. I can't help but worry due to my lack of bio knowledge... and I cannot imagine an immobile daddy. The biggest nightmare for a sportsman has to be the loss of the use of they're limbs. I don't want it to be that way for my daddy, and yet the whole family has to accept that neither of my parents are getting any younger (they're old parents to begin with)... and that old age comes with weakness, pain, diseases... and eventually death.

And just after I told Daryan that I swear I've been blogging consistently... I find I have no time to blog, or rather nothing to say. There's been a hell lot of interesting stuff in the papers lately, but I haven't had the time to peruse it carefully as I used to, back in the old days (ok... 2 weeks ago!) when I had perfectly good mornings to waste lying in bed instead of collecting data in an astronaut suit in a cold lab.
I had an absolutely packed... and fattening... weekend. Beginning with friday night, when Greg arrived after travelling 7 hours at the crowded out and sleazy Pudu Raya station (on the way home, we discovered the existence of University Kuala Lumpur. "Huh?" you say? Well, of course no one knows about it... it's only lit up at night!) and feasted on crabs, satay and yee meen. Woke up the next morning at the bright and early hour of 9am (that's early for Greg... the OCS guy... *shrug*) and straight away drove to O&S for a breakfast of Curry Laksa, Popiah, Chee Cheong Fun and Indian Rojak. Then went to USJ Giant to make an appearance at the Brat's Charity (and was only outshone by VJ Sarah Tan). Met an amazing amount of people I never knew were Brats, new Brats and downright ancient Brats. It's amazing that the car tyres could still hold our weight as we drove to Bangsar Shopping Centre to visit Charm, who was teaching knee-high people (they're called kids, Charlotte, KIDS!) to fold Origami birds and houses. I had a long and intense conversation with an 8 yr old about Barbie dolls, before we proceeded (sans Charm) to have lunch at Esquire Kitchen (Pau with Ma Poh Taufu, Sze Chuan fried Eggplant and Fried Chicken with Onion Rings. Charl - Yum! Yum!, Greg - Eggplant???!!! You know you're going to be finishing that up by yourself, right?). Then we rescued Charm from the pint-size... oh alright... KIDS... and went down to Strudels to eat... Apple Strudel (duh!). After going to church (to thank God for delicious Malaysian food that is better than Singaporean fare, anyday!) my entire family went to Sri Hartamas to try out a new restaurant, Suasana, that serves Lamb Goulash Masala (??!!). Not bad, really. But still think the stuff in Desa Sri Hartamas is funkier. After pigging out all day, what was going to stop us for having dim sum at Tai Thong for brunch the next day? After brunch, was dropped off at Midvalley... which for all its massiveness, hasn't really got much to buy. We ended up at Pets Wonderland, which is more of a mini zoo than a shop (how does it survive???). Then at 4pm, we ended up at the SS2 Secret Recipe for tea with Sugi and Michelle... and stayed there eating Oreo cheesecake and gossiping (Greg says the girls were bitching... but we like to think of it as an exchange of ideas) till almost 7:30pm. Went back home to mum's big feast of Assam Fish and Prawns, Grilled Pork Ribs, Mushroom Chicken Feet and Jack Fruit! Stuffed, stuffed, stuffed! Its great to feel absolutely Garfield-like and hoping that a meteorite will land on the Motorola plant so I wouldn't have to go to work the next day. But things I wish for usually don't come true. (*I wish for XK to be smart, charming and handsome*).
Well, Greg's back in Spore, and it's not my fault if he's looking rotund... I didn't force him to eat anything...
And it's back to work for me... time to don the awful smock again and go measure the accuracy of ball placements. Bah!

From The Star's Nation section (summarised & edited):
City Hall: No more performing licence for Instant Cafe Theatre

BY JANE RITIKOS
KUALA LUMPUR: City Hall has decided to no longer issue any performing licence to Instant Cafe Theatre Company (ICT) after the group refused to follow an order to revise the script of its sell-out show “The 2nd First Annual Bolehwood Awards 2003 – The Director’s Cut.”
In the letter to Utusan, a reader complained that the performance was rude and uncivilised, with utterances of profanity.
He also criticised the show for being insensitive to Islam, apart from making fun of politicians.
In its advertisement, ICT publicised the show as the “spoofs (of) everything under the Malaysian sun and no one, no institution, no project, no cultural norm is spared.”
Show director Jo Kukathas expressed shock at City Hall's decision.
She said it had informed her last Saturday to cut out five elements from the script including government policies, government agencies and the mention of anyone dead or alive, including Tan Sri P. Ramlee.
“This basically entails the entire show which is about society and government policies. It was too late to stop the show that night.
“City Hall also told us we must comply or else we had to pay a RM10,000 fine.
“After we thought it through and consulted our lawyers, we decided to continue with the show without any amendments because if we did, there would be no show,” she said in an interview.
Arts and culture activist Kathy Rowland in her letter to Utusan on Wednesday defended the “Bolehwood” show, explaining that since its inception in 1989, ICT had been performing satires even at official government functions.
“This shows Malaysian poli-ticians are mature enough to appreciate a comedy such as “Bolehwood,” an indication that Malaysia is a democratic country,” she wrote.


-----------------------------------

First compulsory national service for 18 yr olds, then the laws against couples holding hands... and now this...
Farewell to free expression, free speech and free minds...

How many miligrams of fat did Selena say was in one Mc Vitie's Digestive Cookie again? I've eaten 3 out of boredom this morning. But it does say 25% less vegetable fat on the box! *shrug*

-------------------------------

Edit: Checked the Nutritional Information on the Mc Vitie's box. According to the nutritionists at the Mc Vitie's lab, for every 100grams of digestives, I am consuming 16.2grams of Fat of which 7.0grams saturates. So an entire box of digestives which weighs 250grams will contain 40.5grams of fat of which 17.5grams saturates. I know this is accurate. I checked with a calculator.


I've lost my appetite all of a sudden...

Reminders
1. Burn Russel Watson & Josh Groban CD for Charm (am still against anti piracy laws! but don't quote me on that)
2. Find out when and where the hell the Brats Charity is going to be... do not want Daryan directing us to the Thai Border...
3. Try not to yawn when supervisors are telling you their life stories. Your life isn't THAT interesting either
4. Try not to panic at new assignment given even if you have no clue where to start
5. Staring at the plasma clean machines is not a happening job, but hey, someone's gotta do it!
6. Try not to walk on air just because Greg will be here tomorrow!

Weather check for today: Lighter than air!

3rd day at work. Have been given something substantial to do: Read previous trainee's report on Alternative Method To Achieve Gram Per Mil Square For Wire Peel Test. If you didn't understand that, well don't ask me either. The process is pretty simple, but I'm having an excruciating time trying to read the report which reeks of Ah Bengness. Here's a sample:

It is insufficient data in analysis the successful of the calculation formula for this moment. More and more samples should be taken include MAPBGA and get an overall average data to proof the formula.
When do the measurement to get gram per mil square for wire peel test, make sure that the samples are from same bonder machine. It is because other bonder machine may be different condition and cause the wedge bond formation different.

Ouch!
I so wish to bang a great big grammar text book on his head!

Blogging from work... am such a thrill seeker...
am also bored, not sure if I can take this for another 7 weeks...
and its only the 2nd day of work...

I'm learning to recognise people from the top half of their faces. There's no other way, since everyone is in headgear and face masks, and it sure is stressful when EVERYONE is new to you. I'm easy to recognise... I'm the blur looking little white blob with a notebook in hand and trying really hard not to step on the toes of the senior engineers.

My cubicle is number 69. Odac's favourite number. hmmm...

First day as a trainee at Motorola. I swear that court shoes and an office skirt is NOT the right attire when you are meant to spend at least 3 quarters of the day in a germ free lab, almost unrecognisable due to the astronaut type lab smocks, headgear and face mask! So what exactly do I do? Well, nothing, quite truthfully. Currently I am learning to wire bond die to substrates (that may not make any sense, and if your brain works the way Ravi's does... NO! wire bonds have nothing to do with bondage! my job has NOTHING to do with whipping men into submission and chaining them up, are we clear Ravi dear?). I've also discovered that the best thing about being an engineer is that I will never really have to dress up for work! Scruffy is a norm! ahh... the perfect working environment...

my comments have disappeared. what did I do to make them leave me?

I'm really amused by all this hype about KL being the most unfriendly city in the world. Of course it's unfriendly! People like me live in it. The only way for me to survive in KL is to be just as thick skin as everyone else whether it's hogging the road, cutting queues and placing distrust in anyone I see, even if its a nice little old lady. Hey, you never know! Nice little old ladies could swindle you of your money, lure you into a dark unmonitered carpark and leave you to be gang raped.


Oh and final rant of the day...

WATER TALKS: It REALLY does!!! In the form of the National Economic Action Committee that is.

This is interesting... I'm going to wait a few days to see what's going to happen before I can comment. But for the moment it's MALAYSIA BOLEH! Singaporeans should one day experience what it's like to have water cuts and murky brown water flowing out their taps as we in the Klang Valley and KL STILL experience from time to time.

When your college becomes prime news in the Straits Times, it really boils the Rafflesian blood in you, doesn't it? What more when your college is reputedly the top in the country!
Student's Ticking-off Goes from RJC to Net
RJC Boy to be Disciplined for Film Ticking-off

When I first read the articles (sans photos), I assumed it was MY GP tutor. She was always berating PRCs and scholars, although she claimed she loved us more than disgusting ill-manered Singaporeans (particularly from RI *cough*). But I was wrong. My next guess was that it was the GP tutor Luke had a fight with, and walked out of her class straight into the vice principal's office. But I was wrong again. By now, you'd probably think that RJ is overrun with sarcastic, outspoken, soured old GP tutors... but it isn't... really. Each of us just likes to think OUR GP tutor is the worst (except those lucky bastards who got nice GP tutors like Mrs Chan).
I can't say that the student was in the wrong. His intentions, I assume, were good to start with... defending his PRC friend. My classmates would definitely feel for him after the hardship they went through in the form of my GP tutor. Something like this was just waiting to happen... like a bad chemical reaction of rebellious RJ students and sand paper tongued GP tutors.
All the same, I bet this was the chance RJ critics have been waiting for to lambast swollen headed, egoistic, blue blooded Rafflesians. For further brickbats, refer to Grace's blog.

I spent yesterday signing away my life to Gamuda Berhad. They are going to pay for my entire education, living expenses and return air tickets for the next 4 years. In return, I will offer my life to them for the following 5 years to do as they please; whether it is building tunnels, constructing highways, rearing pigs in kelongs... I am at their mercy. Today I spent a long morning at Kota Permai as the only girl among 6 scholars waiting to shake hands with the chairman of Gamuda (who looked neither awake nor asleep... more like... mummified...) at the Gamuda scholarship presentation award. While the other scholars brought their whole band wagon of excited mummies, daddies, siblings, aunties, grandmothers etc... MY parents came late! The senior scholars are just lovable! And so are the Gamuda staff.
So there... after being the most undecisive person alive, my next 9 years have already been planned out for me.

Back from the island. 4 FANTASTIC days (and nights, *grin*). Settled some stuff... left others hanging... Bemused and confused. Went back to RJ, to find another batch of Odacians with shattered dreams. The curse of my batch seems to linger on. Met up with some odacians. It was fun. With some people, the spirit of comradarie just never diminishes. Maybe I was a little lost at times, when things that were being discussed were out of my league (the Malaysian isolation feeling never changes), but still, the friendship is still there, the bonds still strong, the laughter still loud, the promises of "we'll meet up" still being made, the dreams of THE batch expedition to Sikkim still hopeful...
It's hard to be back home again. Feels like the last 4 days was a dream, a fleeting one... too much, too fast... too happy...

!!Attention please!!

Charlotte will be AWOL from tomorrow till thursday. Charlotte's brain (which has always been AWOL anyway) will be in Singapore with her or else in a secure location nearby. If you feel the need to urgently contact Charlotte, her handphone will be with her, but the cost incurred will be your own. If anyone desperately misses Charlotte during her absence, well, the feeling isn't mutual.

Oh alright, she'll miss you a teensy weensy bit.

And in case you are wondering... NO she is not bringing her pigs with her (yes their trotters will erode)... she will be leaving them in her kelong. (For the rest of the world who does not get this, don't bother... private swine jokes)

Charlie's Angels : Full Throttle
verdict: Oh yeah! Makes you feel all kick ass and wishing you had a butt like Cameron Diaz! It hasn't really got a lot of throttle but its definitely full of fun (if you stop thinking about how impossible most of the fight sequences are). Ooh... and that creepy thin guy... did anyone really get his part in the plot? And what's with the creepy thin guy name? He's more like guy-with-creepy-fetish-who-dies-an-anti-climatic-death. Oh well... This was definitely a better watch than the first! =)

Today I cringed in horror as I forced myself to watch the music video for Jewel's latest single: Intuition.
...
...
...
I don't know what to say. If this isn't a nightmare, please let me curl up and die!
I forgave her for This Way... everyone is allowed to kick off their shoes and produce bubblegummy tunes once in a while... but Jewel producing a track that sounds like J Lo?? and dancing??? even if she's actually ridiculling the pop-music world!!! *sob* You can't do this to me! You just can't DO this to me! My vision of the perfect music idol, my reason for strumming my guitar for hours on end, my inspiration for writing, composing, singing... all torn to shreds by a horrifying dance music video!
You know, maybe I just need to listen to the song a few times more... yeah... and everything will be alright again... and I'll be able to buy 0304 without shrinking from it... yeah... it'll be fine... everything is going to be O.K.


Who the shit am I kidding?

The Hulk
verdict: Unless you are a loyal-die-hard-superman-is-for-wimps-hulk-rules-take-that-spideyboy kinda person, you might want to think twice about exchanging your hard earned cash for movie tickets instead of, say, buying a nice green cactus that does not bloat up when made angry nor has complicated relationships with its power hungry father. Plus, it's not polite to yawn in the cinema as I did several times today.

I found this poem while randomly surfing on my favourite subject : myself
It's part of a collection of poems from the movie Autumn Sometimes directed by John Macaulay. You can find out more about it here


Charlotte Sometimes Part 1 & 2


(Part1)

Some times she is beautiful

Like a flower in the rain

Sometimes she is vulnerable

As she hides herself in shame

Sometimes she’s angelic

When she whispers through the room

Sometimes she does not realize

How she makes my heart swoon

Sometimes

Sometimes

And I want to be her savior

Her true and only love

I want to heal her bleeding heart

I want to watch the sunset

And hold he till the ‘morn

I want to be forever to her

And never to the world

But I have to settle for sometimes


(Part 2)

Sometimes flowers die returning to the earth

Sometimes mothers cry at their newborn baby’s birth

Sometimes love is fleeting

Like the autumn leaves that turn

Sometimes a candle may go out

Though a fire still may burn

Some times I sit in solitude

And curse the sky above

Sometimes I cry a tear of joy

When I think about our love

Sometime

Sometimes

Forever was to permanent

For an angel such as you

So I will savor every moment

That I got to share with you

Sometime

Sometimes

Sometimes I lay awake at night

And the wind sounds like you

Whispering to me in words

That say I miss you too

Sometimes love may come and go

But true love still remains

These times I realize your still here

To help me through this pain

Sometime

Sometimes

Some times I have to thank you

For opening eyes once blind

Sometimes I feel you are with me now

My savior Charlotte

Sometimes…



When I catch a glimpse of her

Sometime

Sometimes

Sometimes I dream at night

That we have kissed a thousand times

Sometimes when I see her

I feel my heart go blind

Sometimes I wish she’d hear my words

And hang on every line

But for now I am only me alone

And she is only Charlotte sometimes